The Bull Sheet

June 2, 2014

Monday, June 2, 2014        Edition: #5231

Ahhhh, It’s Your Daily Bovine Colonic!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ “The Arsenio Hall Show” has been axed after a single season due to low ratings amidst the increasingly crowded late-night TV landscape. The show is in reruns and won’t resume production; the last original episode aired May 21st. That ends Hall’s bid to recreate the success he enjoyed 20 years ago with his first talk show. Meantime, Tyra Banks has landed a new daytime talk show 4 years after her last one was canceled. The 40-year-old former model has a deal to launch a new effort next year, most likely filling the ABC-TV slot to be vacated by Katie Couric.
– FOX News / Mail Online
★ Actor Josh Brolin is set to voice the villain ‘Thanos’ in Marvel’s “Avengers: Age of Ultron”, according to a show biz insider. ‘Thanos’ will first be heard in Marvel’s “Guardians Of the Galaxy” but the character will have a more prominent role in the studio’s “Avengers” sequels. Brolin could use a hit … he’s coming off 3 straight film flops: “Gangster Squad,” “Oldboy”, and “Labor Day”.
– TheWrap.com
★ The steel-and-glass house featured in the 1986 Matthew Broderick film “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” has just been sold to an anonymous buyer. The sleek, modernist home in the Chicago IL suburb of Highland Park went for $1.06 million. It was first put on the market in 2009 at $2.3 million. The house was made famous as the home of Ferris’ friend Cameron (Alan Ruck), who crashes his father’s beloved Ferrari through a glass wall into the ravine below. Ferris then tells Cameron: “You killed the car.”
– AP
★ Filmmaker James Cameron is teaming up with Cirque du Soleil on a live show inspired by his “Avatar” movies. Montréal QC will host the world premiere of the new show late next year, which will kick off a 350-city world tour. It’s the second time Cameron has worked with le Cirque. The Oscar-winning director served as executive producer on the 2012 film “Cirque du Soleil: Worlds Away”. The 2nd movie in the “Avatar” series hits theaters in December 2016.
– QMI
★ And it’s official – sort of – “Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back” is the ‘Greatest Movie of All-Time’. The 1980 sci-fi classic has beaten out “The Godfather” (1972) and “The Dark Knight” (2008) to top a new poll of film fans. “The Empire Strikes Back” was the 2nd installment of the mammoth sci-fi franchise begun by George Lucas, which is now shooting ‘Episode VII’ in England.
– “Empire Magazine”

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Arsenio Hall” (syndicated) – Afrojack (“Forget the World”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Foo Fighters drummer Taylor Hawkins showcases his side project The Birds of Satan.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV2) – Kip Moore (“Up All Night”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Elizabeth Cook (“Welder”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – 50 Cent (“Street King Immortal”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Miranda Lambert (“Platinum”, out tomorrow).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Iggy Azalea – The 23-year-old Australian rapper has scored the #1 (“Fancy”) and #2 (“Problem”, w/Ariana Grande) slots on the ‘Billboard Hot 100’ chart, a feat achieved only once before, by The Beatles in 1964 (“I Want to Hold Your Hand” and “She Loves You”).
• John Mellencamp – He’s inked a ‘lifetime’ recording contract with Republic Records. He’s set to release his 22nd full-length album this Fall. He’s working once again with T Bone Burnett, who produced his last 2 albums.
• Mariah Carey – She’s posted photos on Instagram of her … riding the subway. Seems she ditched her usual luxury transport when heading home from a NYC charity gala in order to hop a train with manager/producer Jermaine Dupri. The fact she thinks this is noteworthy says a lot.
• Marilyn Manson – He’s joined the cast of the FX series “Sons of Anarchy” in a recurring role as a white supremacist named ‘Ron Tully’. Manson will appear on the show’s 7th season, set to begin in September.
• One Direction – It’s come to light that the ‘shocking’ incident of Zayn Malik and Louis Tomlinson smoking a joint in Peru last month was also recorded by them using … a Google Glass. Well, there’s more good news for Google.
• Soundgarden – Tonight at NYC’s Webster Hall they’re performing the 1994 album “Superunkown” it in its entirety, celebrating tomorrow’s 20th anniversary reissue. Soundgarden is co-headlining a Summer tour with Nine Inch Nails that runs from July 19th to August 25th.

COMMON WORDS THAT ARE BRAND NAMES:
A ‘genericized’ brand name is one that has become synonymous with the product itself. In other words, it’s what we call the things. Words you use everyday that are (or were) trademarked …
Aspirin (Bayer)
Band-Aid (Johnson & Johnson)
Bubble Wrap (Sealed Air Corp)
Dumpster (Dumpster)
Escalator (Otis Elevator)
Frisbee (Wham-O)
Kleenex (Kimberly-Clark Worldwide)
Ping Pong (Parker Bros)
Popsicle (Unilever)
Post-It Note (3M)
Q-Tips (Unilever)
Seeing Eye Dog (Seeing Eye of New Jersey)
Styrofoam (Dow Chemical Co)
Super Heroes (DC Comics)
Velcro (Velcro Co)
NET: http://tinyurl.com/pref6n4
– Adapted from List25.com

QUITTER SKITTERS:
With the World Cup just a couple weeks away, Brazilian authorities have approved the widespread release of a strain of mosquito that has been genetically reprogrammed to … wipe out its own species. This type of mosquito is a major carrier of dengue fever, and bed nets are useless against it because it bites during the day. While lasers and other techniques to mass-kill the pest have been tried, Brazil’s preferred solution begins in the lab: Male skeeters are given a deliberately flawed gene and then released into the wild to reproduce, at which point the implanted gene causes offspring to die before they reach maturity. Local trials have already seen a 90% reduction in their numbers. (We need this here!)
– Endgadget.com

HEY, LOOK AT ME!
Millennials (aka Generation Y) are the first generation to come of age in the era of the Internet, smartphones, and social media. The demographic that Dutch research firm Motivaction International calls another ‘Me Generation’ is also the most competitive and most attention-craving generation ever. And the reason for this? They want to be noticed; and that’s not easy in an era of constant bombardment from Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook feeds. Fully 50% of Millennials say they ‘enjoy’ being the center of attention, compared to just 25% of Baby Boomers or Gen X-ers. On the upside, Millennials are unconventional thinkers and are open to change, much more so than older generations. (Is it surprising that the people who invented the ‘selfie’ turn out to be a generation of navel-gazers?)
– NYDailyNews.com

TRUTHS ABOUT TANNING:
• There is no such things as a healthy tan. Any change in skin color caused by UV rays indicates skin damage, which can lead to premature aging and skin cancer.
• There is no safe way to get a tan. Some tanning beds release up to 5 times more radiation than the sun.
• Research has clearly established that exposure to UV radiation (tanning) is the primary cause of skin cancer.
• Melanoma rates are not declining as commonly believed. In fact, the exact opposite is true.
• The World Health Organization has found no evidence that using a tanning bed will protect against skin damage by subsequent exposure to sun.
• All tanning devices increase the risk of skin cancer, no matter how old they are or whether they are in-home or commercial devices.
– Condensed from HuffingtonPost.com

BS AMAZING FACT:
The Boeing Company has patented a smart, self-driving cart to carry passengers through airport terminals and deliver them to their departure gate. (“Stop! I said 7-A not 78!”)
– Skift.com

BS CHRONOMETER 06.02.14


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1941 [73] Charlie Watts, London UK, dinosaur rock drummer (Rolling Stones)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1989)

1952 [62] Gary Bettman, Queens NY, NHL commissioner since 1993/former NBA executive

1961 [53] Liam Cunningham, Dublin, Ireland, TV actor (‘Davos Seaworth’ on “Game of Thrones” since 2012)

1972 [42] Wayne Brady, Orlando FL, TV personality (“Whose Line Is It Anyway?” 2013-present/1998-2006, “Let’s Make a Deal” since 2009, “Don’t Forget the Lyrics!” 2007-09)

1977 [37] Zachary Quinto, Pittsburgh PA, movie actor (‘Spock’ in “Star Trek” movies)/TV actor (“American Horror Story: Asylum” 2012-13, “Heroes” 2006-10)

1980 [34] Fabrizio Moretti, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, rock drummer-vocalist (The Strokes-“Under Cover of Darkness”, “Juicebox”)

1986 [28] ZZ Ward, Abington PA, adult alternative singer-songwriter (“Last Love Song”, “Put the Gun Down”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Bubba Day”, honoring those formally named or just informally called ‘Bubba’. (We’re betting most of ‘em live in ‘Dixie’.)

• “Festa della Repubblica” (‘Republic Day’) in Italy, which commemorates the birth of the Repubblica Italiana and the end of its days as a monarchy.

• “Rocky Road Day”, saluting the ice cream flavor that’s made with chocolate ice cream, nuts, and marshmallows. Mmm, do me!

• “Yell Fudge At the Cobras in North America Day”. To keep the poisonous snakes off the continent, you’re supposed to go outdoors at noon and yell ‘fudge!’ Seems to be working.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1989 [25] “Dead Poet’s Society”, starring Robin Williams, opens in movie theaters

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1964 [50] Rolling Stones kick off their first North American tour at a high school football stadium in Lynn, Massachusetts

2008 [06] Bo Diddley, a founding father of rock & roll, dies in Archer, Florida at age 79

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1896 [118] Guglielmo Marconi patents ‘Radio’ (thanks for the gig, Gug!)

1953 [61] 1st ‘Televised Coronation’ of a monarch (Queen Elizabeth II is crowned in Westminster Abbey 16 months after the death of her father, King George VI)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2007 [07] Competitive eater Joey Chestnut sets a new hot dog-eating record by wolfing down 59-and-a-half in 12 minutes in Tempe, Arizona (he ups his record to 69 in 10 minutes in 2013)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Led Zeppelin catalogue reissue begins
[Wed] Leave the Office Early Day
[Wed] International Day of Innocent Children Victims of Aggression
[Wed] Tailors Day
[Wed] Old Maids Day
[Thurs] 2014 CMA Music Festival begins (Nashville TN)

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Business Etiquette Week / End Mountain Top Removal Week / Headache Awareness Week / Pet Appreciation Week / Rip Current Awareness Week / Sun Safety Week / Tire Safety Week

BULL’S BITS


BEST OF BS:
Highlight bits culled from 21 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
10 years ago today (2004), Ken Jennings began a run of 74 consecutive wins on the TV game show “Jeopardy!”, eventually winning a record $2.5 million in cash & prizes. In honor of that feat, here are a few …
BS CATEGORIES NEVER USED ON “JEOPARDY!”:
• “Noises Dad Makes”
• “First Cousin Pick-up Lines”
• “Things You Shouldn’t Put In the Microwave”
• “What’s That Rash?”
• “Ways I’d Like to Kick Alex’s Ass”
– First published in “BS” 2011.

BS SIGNS YOU BOUGHT SOME BAD BERRIES:
✗ Local TV news van follows you home from the farmers market.
✗ That noise in the fridge is them banging their cups against the little plastic basket.
✗ The produce manager at the supermarket has been spotted wearing a Hazmat suit.
✗ Public health workers show up at your door with a needle the size of Kanye West’s ego.
✗ You’ve been on the throne longer than Queen Elizabeth II.
– First published in “BS” 1997.
NET: http://www.FreeRadioPrep.com

BS PHONE STARTER:
Go ahead, impress us. What audible feat can you perform that’s truly amazing? Gargle opera? Tongue-click tap-dancing? Armpit symphony?

BS WEB GOODIE:
What’s casual sex really like? If you want to tell the whole world – and not just your brunch table – about last night’s steamy hookup, you now have a place to do so …
NET: http://thecasualsexproject.com

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• Which did the ancient Aztecs sacrifice about 250,000 of each year?
a. Goats.
b. Dogs.
c. Humans. [CORRECT. Their own people.]

• Which is the smallest bone in your body?
a. The anvil.
b. The stirrup. [CORRECT. It’s in your inner ear and measures just one-tenth of an inch long.]
c. Depends if you’re male or female.
– “Weird Fact Of the Day”

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Cleavage is like the sun. You can glance at it for only a second; but if you wear sunglasses you can look much longer.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: You’re more likely to leave a bigger tip at a restaurant if the server does THIS.
Answer: Wears something red.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
It’s perfectly fine to want what you want, just understand that not everyone is going to give you what you want.

BS FRESH MEAT:
Bill Hall @ 102.7 The Hog [KPGZ] Excelsior Springs MO; Ray Petty @ The RaunchFoxxx Foxxxcast, Phoenix AZ; Deon Louw @ NBC, Windhoek, Namibia; Apryl Langlois @ Cox Media, Eden VT; Michael Long @ KTWA Ottumwa IA; Harry Dekker @ CJNB North Battleford SK; and DJ Motlokwa @ Sedibeng FM, Gauteng, South Africa.

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