The Bull Sheet

June 5 2020

Friday, June 5, 2020   Edition #6713

Deja Moo!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ The band that provided the magic for Joe Exotic’s unique songs on “Tiger King” has some good news for everyone itching for more. Vince Johnson of The Vince Johnson Band — who made up one half of the music duo who wrote and performed Joe’s tracks featured on the Netflix series — has signed an exclusive licensing and distribution deal. That’s right…all those Joe tunes (which are actually Vince’s) will be compiled onto an album for the first time and will be released on streaming services in the coming months. There’ll also be some new tunes, including a cut called ‘Killer Carole.’ (That one probably won’t be a big hit at Carole Baskin’s place…)
-TMZ
★ Lea Michele has been dropped as a spokesperson for the recipe kit delivery service HelloFresh amid accusations she bullied a fellow Glee castmate. Samantha Ware clapped back at Michele after she offered up a Black Lives Matter protest support tweet, insisting Lea was awful to her on set and made her life “a living hell.” Ware’s claims were backed by two other Glee actors who also targeted Michele’s alleged bad behavior. HelloFresh bosses severed ties with the mum-to-be, stating: “HelloFresh does not condone racism nor discrimination of any kind.”
-Canoe
★ Danielle Bregoli, the rapper known as Bhad Bhabie, has checked into rehab. She rose to fame by appearing on the “Dr. Phil” show for being an out of control child, and quickly gained popularity because of her catchphrase, “Catch me ousside, how bout dat!” The young star managed to turn her popularity into a budding music career and racked up over 18-million followers on Instagram. Now she has entered a facility, reportedly “to fight a prescription pill problem and to deal with trauma from her childhood”.
-TheBlast
★ Fred Willard died from a heart attack, his death certificate has confirmed. The veteran comic actor passed away last month at the age of 86 and his death certificate has now been issued, listing the immediate cause of death as cardiac arrest with coronary artery disease listed as an underlying issue. Jimmy Kimmel recently paid tribute to the actor, hailing him as a ”Christmas tree in June”.
-ContactMusic

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Gordon Ramsay, Maude Apatow
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): RuPaul, Stacey Abrams, Maria Bamford, Elijah Wood (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Kim Kardashian West (R)
• “The Talk” (CBS): Olivia Newton-John, Yvonne Orji
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Lisa Kudrow, Michael Lomonaco
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Retta, Matt Fraser, Kevin Hart, Annie Murphy (R)

SATURDAY-
• “IndyCar Racing” (NBC): Genesys 300, from Fort Worth, Texas
• “Country at Heart” (HALLMARK): A struggling country singer meets a Nashville songwriter in need of inspiration. Teaming up to write a song, their work gets complicated, but results in both a hit song and true love.
• “Yvonne Orji: Momma, I Made It!” (HBO): The comic reflects on being a Nigerian American, talking about her haggling addiction and the line between cursing people out and putting curses on them; from the Howard Theatre in Washington, D.C.

SUNDAY-
• “Hollywood Game Night” (NBC): Jane Lynch hosts a series of fun party games as two contestants join celebrities Chris D’Elia, Susan Kelechi Watson, Jon Huertas, Joel McHale, Nikki Glaser and Sasheer Zamata as they compete for a $25,000 grand prize.
• “Celebrity Family Feud” (ABC): Celebrity contestants Andy Cohen, Kyle Richards, Lisa Rinna, Dorit Kemsley, Garcelle Beauvais, Teddi Mellencamp, Drew Carey and Kevin Nealon
• “Grease Sing-Along (1978)” (CBS): Featuring follow-along lyrics to all of the songs from the classic 1978 musical film starring John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Rihanna – Copies of her iconic pink tie dye dress are for sale. A slow-motion video of Riri walking in her garden wearing it went viral, and now its creator is making them available for $375 each to raise money to support Black Lives Matter, Solace Women’s Aid and The Voice of Domestic Workers.
• Jack Antonoff – is one of several artists who are calling on labels, streaming services and other corporate entities to contribute to racial justice. Tegan and Sarah spoke out on social media about the subject, and The Weeknd issued a challenge directly to Warner, Sony, Universal, Spotify and Apple Music, asking them to “go big and public” after seeing decades of “profits off of black music.”
• Kelly Clarkson – added some international flair to her new single ‘I Dare You’. On Wednesday’s episode of “The Kelly Clarkson Show”, she teamed up with artists all over the world for a virtual performance of the song in English, Spanish, Arabic, Hebrew and French.
• (***CAUTION: Song title***) N.W.A. – Streams of their 1988 anti-police-brutality anthem ‘F*** tha Police’ saw a 272% percent increase in on-demand audio streams from May 27th through June 1st compared to the five days before George Floyd’s death. It is one of several protest songs — including Childish Gambino’s ‘This Is America’ and Kendrick Lamar’s ‘Alright’ — that have seen a resurgence in streams as anti-police brutality protests continue.
• The Dropkick Murphys and Bruce Springsteen — raised more than $700,000 for a variety of Boston charities with their free May 29 “Streaming Outta Fenway” performance. Money from the show, the first-ever music event without an in-person audience at a major U.S. venue, will go to the Boston Resiliency Fund, Feeding America and the Greater Boston Habitat for Humanity.
• Eagles — Co-founder Don Henley testified before Congress Tuesday in a bid to revamp copyright laws that he says are badly outdated. He said that he has a responsibility to speak out on behalf of others who’ve been negatively affected by regulations that he claims unfairly favor digital giants like YouTube, TikTok and Instagram.
• Mickey Guyton — released the song ‘Black Like Me’ on Tuesday. Although written a year ago, Guyton, one of the few African-American artists in country music, decided to put out the song in the wake of the death of George Floyd.
• Kacey Musgraves – lends her vocals to the Flaming Lips’ new song ‘Flowers of Neptune 6’. Singer Wayne Coyne calls her harmony vocal on the song a “blissful, innocent, psychedelic experience…” In 2019, Musgraves covered the band’s 2002 song ‘Do You Realize??’ while on tour.

SAFE SEX – 2020 STYLE:
Earlier in the week we learned that due to coronavirus restrictions, sex is now illegal for people in the UK who don’t live together. So, this might be a moot point for Brits, but for the rest of us, a new study says that hooking up carries some risk for transmitting COVID-19 from one partner to the other and we should be wearing a face mask while doin’ it. Researchers at Harvard ranked frisky situations based on how likely it is to catch coronavirus while in the act. Researchers recommend wearing a mask for the riskiest sexual scenario: Sex with people other than those with whom one is quarantined. In addition, the study says you should avoid kissing and any other (AHEM!) transmission of bodily fluids, shower before and after, and clean the space with alcohol wipes or soap.
(Um, when they say clean the “space”…)
(So up ’til now, making your partner cover their face wasn’t a thing?  Honey?)
(Some things, I just don’t have to concern myself with…)
-NYPost

NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ The mayor of a small town in Peru tried to evade police by laying in a coffin and pretending to be a dead COVID-19 victim in order to break curfew to go drinking.  Jamie Torres, the mayor of Tantara, broke lockdown protocol and curfew laws in order to go have some drinks with friends. When cops arrived on scene to arrest Torres, he was allegedly found playing dead in a coffin. Police say he violated curfew and social distancing rules, and was drunk when arrested. It’s unknown where Torres and his buddies were drinking or why he had a coffin. (“Well, Sarge, he DOES smell well-preserved…”)
➢ She finally did it – even if it wasn’t on purpose. Aussie Ryan McErlean made a pact at the start of his relationship with Kaylie Warren that he would buy her something sweet if she ever passed gas in front of him. And he never had to pay up – until now. He says after three years of “extreme reluctance and denial”, she finally slipped up. McErlean celebrated the gassy milestone by getting his girlfriend a fancy cheesecake with the special message on top: “Took you three years, congratulations for finally farting.”
(So…women DO that?)
-Canoe

DID YOU KNOW?
In many countries, Fridays are the least likely day for workers to call in sick. People are much happier and likely to go to work on Fridays. Fridays also tend to be the day where the workplace atmosphere is most social and positive. On the other hand, Monday is the most common sick day. Except in Australia, where the most common sick day is Tuesday (For some reason…)
-OnetoOne

BS CHRONOMETER 06.05.20

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1956 [64] Kenny G, Seattle WA, Saxophonist/one of the most commercially successful instrumental musicians of all time (‘Songbird’)

1962 [58] Jeff Garlin, Chicago IL, TV actor (“The Goldbergs” since 2013, “Curb Your Enthusiasm” 2000-2017)

1971 [49] Mark Wahlberg, Dorchester MA, movie actor (“Ted”, “Boogie Nights”)/TV producer (“Boardwalk Empire”, “Entourage”)/Businessman (co-owner of ‘Wahlburgers’ chain with his brothers Donnie and Paul)

1978 [42] Nick Kroll, Town of Rye NY, TV actor (“Kroll Show 2013-2015), movie actor (“Sausage Party”, Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie”)

1979 [41] Pete Wentz, Wilmette IL, rock bassist-singer (Fall Out Boy-‘Sugar, We’re Goin Down’, ‘This Ain’t a Scene, It’s an Arms Race’)

1980 [40] Mike Fisher, Peterborough ON, retired-again NHL player (Ottawa Senators, Nashville Predators)/wed to country star Carrie Underwood since 2010

1981 [39] Sebastien Lefebvre, Montréal QC, rock guitarist (Simple Plan-‘Summer Paradise’, ‘Welcome to My Life’)

SATURDAY- Robert Englund (“A Nightmare on Elm Street”)is 73; Broadway actor Harvey Fierstein is 68; Retired tennis player Björn Borg is 64; Colin Quinn (“Saturday Night Live”) is 61; Guitarist Steve Vai is 60; Paul Giamatti (“Sideways”) is 53; Uncle Kracker [Matt Shafer] (‘Follow Me’) is 46; Aubrey Anderson-Emmons (“Modern Family”) is 13

SUNDAY- Tom Jones (‘It’s Not Unusual’) is 80; Liam Neeson (“Taken”) is 68; Record executive-producer LA (Antonio) Reid is 64; Dave Navarro (Jane’s Addiction) is 53; Bear Grylls (“Man vs Wild”) is 46; Bill Hader (“Saturday Night Live”) is 42; Michael Cera (“Arrested Development”) is 32; Iggy Azalea (‘Fancy’) is 30; Fetty Wap (‘Trap Queen’) is 29

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Donut Day”, honoring the Salvation Army ‘Lassies’ of WWI who served donuts to thousands-upon-thousands of soldiers. It’s now used as a fund-raiser for the Sally Ann’s needy causes. Many donut stores offer free donuts today. The official dictionary spelling of the word is “doughnut.” The simplified, Americanized spelling of “donut” caught on in the late 1900s. (Thanks, Homer!)

• “Hot Air Balloon Day”, commemorating the first hot air balloon flight, by the Montgolfier Brothers in Annonay, France in 1783.

• World Environment Day”, declared annually since 1972. The 2020 theme is “Time for Nature”. These are exceptional times in which nature is sending us a message: To care for ourselves we must care for nature. LINK:  https://www.worldenvironmentday.global/

• “Gingerbread Day”, the term “gingerbread” originally referred to preserved ginger, later referring to a confection made up of honey and spices. While most are familiar with the gingerbread house at Christmas time, you might also want to try some delicious gingerbread bread, cake, bars, biscuit and cookie recipes that are perfect any time of the year.

• “Apple II Day”, celebrating this day in 1977 when the Apple II computer was released. A hulking beige mammoth with 4KB of RAM (upgradeable to a whopping 48KB), the Apple II was the computer that defined Apple for a generation. Retailing at $1,298, it cost the equivalent of three iPads today — even though it seemed a total bargain at the time.

• Attitude Day”. Attitudes are contagious … is yours worth catching? A day to appreciate those whose attitude makes those around them happy. (It’s our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task which, more than anything else, will affect its successful outcome.)

SATURDAY-
• “D-Day”, the 76th anniversary of 1944’s “Operation Overlord” invasion of Europe by Allied Expeditionary Forces during WW2. Before dawn, over 2,700 ships of every description converged on Normandy, carrying 2-million tons of war materials and 155,000 troops. The password for the operation: ‘Mickey Mouse’.
• “Drive-in Movie Day”, commemorating the opening of the first ‘drive-in’ 87 years ago (1933) in Camden, NJ. It cost 25 cents per person or a buck-a-car to see “Wife Beware”.
• “Gardening Exercise Day”, a day to get out and workout with your plants. Don’t laugh… if you’ve ever helped a gardener for an afternoon, you know what hard work it is.
• “Atheists Pride Day”, promoting the civil rights of atheists, the separation of state and church, and devoted to providing information about atheism.
• “Yo-Yo Day”, observed on the birth anniversary of Donald Duncan (1892-1971), the businessman who first mass-marketed the wildly popular invention in the West during the 1930s. According to legend, the yo-yo was invented in the Philippines centuries ago … as a weapon.

SUNDAY-
• “Chocolate Ice Cream Day”, celebrating one of the most popular flavors, but not THE most popular. That honor still goes to vanilla, favorite of 29%. Chocolate is runner-up at 9%.
• “VCR Day”, honoring the TV video recorder introduced on this day in 1975. Many homes still have one lurking in a closet. Many more still have VHS tapes … but nothing to play them on.
• “Daniel Boone Day”, On June 7, 1769, frontiersman Daniel Boone first saw the forests and valleys of present-day Kentucky. He is largely credited with exploration and settlement of that state. Contrary to the coonskin cap-wearing stereotype, Boone preferred a felt hat.
• “June Bug Day”, they emerge from the ground this time of year and search for food and a mate. They may have been in the ground as larvae for up to three years. During the day they hide in trees, but at night they tend to swarm and are attracted to light.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2005 [15] “Monty Python’s Spamalot” wins 3 Tony Awards, including ‘Best Musical’

2018 [02] Miss America pageant announces an end to its swimsuit competition

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2004 [16] About 40 guests watch as Jennifer Lopez weds her third husband, Marc Anthony, in an intimate ceremony in the backyard of her LA home (they separate in 2011, divorce 2012)

2017 [03] Kesha is rebuffed when she tries to hug Jerry Seinfeld at a red-carpet event – turns out he’s not a hugger. The video quickly goes viral. (This would have made a great “Seinfeld” episode!)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1993 [27] Julie Krone rides 13-to-1 longshot Colonial Affair to victory in the Belmont Stakes, to become the first female jockey ever to win a Triple Crown horse race

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2003 [17] 37-year-old Indiana native Brad Hauter arrives in NYC after riding his Yard-Man lawnmower 5,600 miles across the USA from San Francisco CA … at 10 mph

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ Sunglasses first became popular in the 1920s when movie stars wore them to protect against reporters’ flashbulbs.
✓ “Jay” used to be slang for “foolish person.” So, when a pedestrian ignored street signs, he was referred to as a “jaywalker.”
✓ Koi fish can live to be 200 years old.
✓ Sterling silver contains 7.5% copper.
✓ If you’re average, you’ll flex your finger joints 25 million times in your lifetime.
✓ Americans use enough toilet paper each year to stretch to the sun and back.
-MentalFloss, BathroomReadersInstitute

Best of BS . . .
BS WAYS TO GET OUT OF MOWING THE LAWN THIS WEEKEND:
• Put a ‘For Sale’ sign on the lawnmower. Let everybody who comes by take a test drive.
• Kill half the grass, let the other half grow long. Do a ‘comb over’.
• Mount your entire yard on a giant hydraulic platform. Lower it 1 inch per week.
• Tell your wife you can’t stand the screams of the poor defenseless blades of grass, then go sit in a corner, gently rocking back and forth.
• Have a kid. Wait 10 years. Make him do it.
-First published in BS in 2015

TODAY’S SLICE OF BS . . .
➠ A former homeless high school senior, who was class president and valedictorian, has been accepted into Voldosta State University. (On the plus side, he already knows what it’s like to live as a college graduate…)
➠ A trending new fad among married couples is choosing to live in separate homes.  (I, for one, can’t imagine how devastated I’d be if I was suddenly deprived of having someone around to relentlessly remind me that I promised to take down the Christmas lights!)
➠ I just read that couples who communicate online have less-satisfying relationships. (That’s odd. I’m very happy about the intimate relationships I have with women online. It’s my wife that seems to have a problem with it!)
➠ Winona Ryder says she was once told she wasn’t good enough to be an actress. (She was also once told it’s bad to steal. My point: Winona Ryder doesn’t listen to others…)
➠ Kenny G is 64 today! (Yup, still too young to enjoy his own music…)

BS WEB GOODIE:
Social distance bar fight:  https://youtu.be/3juaQvrlsZw

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Never challenge Death to a pillow fight unless you’re prepared to handle the reaper cushions.

BS PHONE STARTER:
(***CAUTION: Badass!***) What is the most badass thing you’ve ever done?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  5% of women say they have had a dream about THIS man in their life. Who is he?
Answer:  Their favorite bartender

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Be brave enough to suck at something new.

 

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