BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
According to a report from “Wired”, the RIAA is undergoing serious layoffs, some observers describing it as a ‘bloodbath’ (hurray, fewer people to monitor your free music downloads!) . . . Soon-to-be-51 actress/model Andie MacDowell is trashing criticism that older women are neglected in Hollywood, insisting there are plenty of quality film roles for mature actresses (if it weren’t for all those fuzzy L’Oreal ads with Vaseline smeared around the lens, you wouldn’t be working either, hon’) . . . 18-year-old “Harry Potter” star Emma Watson has a decision to make after being accepted to both Yale University in Connecticut and the UK’s prestigious Cambridge U (wow, she’s all growed up!) . . . While promoting her canine comedy film “Marley & Me” in Europe, star Jennifer Aniston has been convinced to eat dog food on a German TV variety show (quit smirking, Angelina) . . . 64-year-old Tom Selleck has launched a campaign to star in a movie version of his TV show “Magnum PI” (1980-88), because he says producers have yet to approach him to revive the role (um, maybe because you’re now 64?) . . . Speaking of aging: Shooting is set to begin on the Nelson Mandela bio-pic “The Human Factor”, 78-year-old Clint Eastwood’s new movie starring 71-year-old Morgan Freeman, and there’s a bit of a twist when it comes to crew – a private doctor who’s required to remain on-set at all times (right next to the defibrillator) . . . And ‘Jessica Rabbit’ from the 1988 film “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?” tops a new poll on the ‘Sexiest-Ever Cartoon Character’, surprisingly followed by 1930s movie icon ‘Betty Boop’ (‘Marge Simpson’ is nowhere in sight).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – Features performances by the 3rd and final set of 12 singers in the first episode of 3 nights in-a-row.
• Britney Spears – Her “Circus” tour kicks off in New Orleans LA. Word has it illusionist-comedian Ed ‘The Misfit of Magic’ Alonzo will be doing a magic number with Spears throughout the tour, in which she plays his assistant.
• “Dogg After Dark” (MTV) – Snoop’s new show features a performance by Fall Out Boy.
• “Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo“ – This annual Texas event has become as famous for concerts as cows. Rascal Flatts opens the 3-week performance lineup at Reliant Stadium. Taylor Swift, Brad Paisley, and the Jonas Bros appear later this month.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Swedish pop star Robyn (“Show Me Love”) performs. Lil Wayne debuts his new video “Prom Queen”, with KoRn playing back-up.
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Rock & Roll Hall of Famer Van Morrison is featured.
• “Watchmen Soundtrack” – A cover version of Bob Dylan’s “Desolation Row” by My Chemical Romance is the only new recording on today’s soundtrack release. Other tracks include Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah”; “All Along the Watchtower” by Jimi Hendrix; and Simon & Garfunkel’s “The Sound Of Silence”. The eagerly anticipated movie opens Friday.
• U2 – After numerous leaks that led to official streaming online, their 12th studio album, “No Line On the Horizon”, is finally released. It was recorded in Morocco, Dublin, NYC, and London over the past year. Tonight they again perform on “Late Night With David Letterman” (CBS).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Coldplay – U2’s Bono called Chris Martin a ‘wanker’ and a ‘cretin’ during a recent BBC interview … but he was just joking. (We think.)
• Jewel – She says she’s okay with husband Ty Murray’s strategy to get her pregnant before they both compete on “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC). She says she wins either way.
• Kelly Clarkson – She’s hoping 2009 will be a year of collaborations. She wants to record duets with both British R&B singer Adele and former Eurythmics singer Annie Lennox.
• Madonna – Her ex-, Guy Ritchie, has been referring to her as ‘It’ in British tabloids, as in “We can’t make It angry.” Madonna’s rep Liz Rosenberg counters with the retort, “It hasn’t been in a bad mood since the divorce was finalized.” (So the split is still amicable, huh?)
• Sugarland – They embark on their first European tour this month, traveling to 7 countries to perform in 11 different cities.
• Taylor Swift – “Love Story” has sold more digital downloads than any previous country song.
• Toby Keith – “God Love Her” is his 25th country chart-topping single.
• White Stripes – Jack White is working with Bob Dylan on a tribute album to Hank Williams. (Now there’s a mash-up!)

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Australia” ( War Drama ): Director Baz Luhrmann’s sprawling epic is set in northern Australia just before World War II. Nicole Kidman stars as an English aristocrat who inherits a ranch & Hugh Jackman plays the stock drover she relies on to help drive 2,000 head of cattle over unforgiving landscape. Russell Crowe was intended to star but balked over the money being offered.
• “Beverly Hills Chihuahua” ( Family Adventure ): While on vacation in Mexico, a pampered pet named ‘Chloe’ (voiced by Drew Barrymore) gets lost and needs help to find her way home. Coming to her aid is a macho chihuahua named ‘Papi’ (George Lopez). Other dog voices provided by Andy Garcia, Cheech Marin, Paul Rodriguez, and Placido Domingo.
• Also released today: “ER: The Complete 10th Season” (TV); “The Hills: The Complete 4th Season” (TV); “7th Heaven: The 8th Season” (TV); “Watchmen: The Complete Motion Comic” (animation); and “Wonder Woman” (animation).

BAD STUDENT METAPHORS:
Actual analogies and metaphors collected from high school essays and short stories …
• “His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.”
• “He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.”
• “She grew on him like she was a colony of E coli, and he was room-temperature beef.”
• “She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.”
• “McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.”
• “The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.”
• “The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.”
• “He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.”
• “Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.”
• “Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.”
– ThatsRich.com

TWO TYPES OF INTELLIGENCE?
Adrian Furnham, a psychology professor at University College London, has long studied the relationship between general knowledge and intelligence. He makes a distinction between what he describes as ‘fluid’ and ‘crystallized’ intelligence. Fluid intelligence measures the speed of analysis during problem solving, such as doing Sudoku or a Rubik’s Cube. You don’t have to have had an extensive education to excel. Crystallized intelligence, on the other hand, is the measure of knowledge you have learned and can access from memory. He notes that many extremely intelligent people can be slow at recalling things. (‘The Blonde Factor’.)
– BBC News

MOST COVERED SONGS:
A sampling of tunes with the most do-overs by other artists …
5. “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction” by the Rolling Stones (1965). Covered by everyone from Britney Spears to Jimi Hendrix to Vanilla Ice.
4. “And I Love Her” by The Beatles (1964). Covered by Bob Marley, Smokey Robinson, Sarah Vaughan, Barry Manilow, and Vince Gill among numerous others.
3. “Cry Me a River” by Julie London (1955). Redone by a huge range of artists including Barbra Streisand, Joe Cocker, Aerosmith, Rick Astley, Bjork, Merle Haggard, and Olivia Newton John.
2. “Eleanor Rigby” by The Beatles (1966). It’s been covered 131 times by artists such as Ray Charles, Tony Bennett, Aretha, Kansas, and Swedish industrial metal band Pain.
1. “Yesterday” by The Beatles (1965). The landmark tune has been covered more than 3,000 times, by artists as diverse as Liberace, Elvis Presley, and … Daffy Duck.
– “Mental Floss Magazine”

THEY’RE STILL SAYING MUSIC LEADS TO SEX:
Listening to music with degrading sexual lyrics could prompt teenagers to start having sex at an earlier age, a new University of Pittsburgh study suggests. The researchers found that those who regularly listen to music with explicit and aggressive sexual lyrics are twice as likely to be having relations. The team classed degrading sexual lyrics as songs which described sex as a physical rather than loving act and also those linking it to power. Their conclusion: Parents should be talking to their children about these lyrics to put them into context. (Beware! Listening to OAR’s “Shattered” can lead to erratic driving.)
– MusicRadar.com

ORIGINS OF HI-TECH NAMES:
• ‘BlackBerry’ – ‘Strawberry’ was first considered because the phone’s tiny keys resemble seeds. But when ‘straw’ was thought to sound too slow, another berry was tentatively selected as a temporary replacement. It stuck.
• ‘Bluetooth’ – It’s the English translation of 10th-century Danish king Harald Blatand’s last name. He became famous for uniting warring factions under one banner, Bluetooth’s objective with various technologies.
• ‘Prius’ – Toyota believed their new hybrid would be the predecessor of vehicles of the future so they named it after the Latin word ‘prius’ meaning ‘to go before’. But what do you call more than one? Technically, the plural of the Latin word would be ‘Priora’.
• ‘Wii’ – Pronounced like the word ‘we’, which emphasizes the social concept that Nintendo envisioned for the console. The double ‘I’ spelling was thought to resemble 2 people standing side-by-side.
• ‘Wikipedia’ – In Hawaiian, the word ‘wiki’ means ‘fast’. It now describes website content that can be added to and/or edited by users. But taken literally, ‘Wikipedia’ means ‘fast encyclopedia’.
– Excerpted from Neatorama.com.

FOR THE RECORD:
The Hoshi Ryokan hotel, located in the Ishikawa prefecture of Japan, has the dual distinction of being the oldest company and oldest hotel in the world still operating today. It was founded in the year 717 and is still run by the same family over 40 generations later. One night’s stay will cost you $350, breakfast and dinner included. (A little more impressive than the ‘Founded in 2005′ sign down at Al’s Convenience.)
– Kirainet.com

DID YOU KNOW?
• North Americans produce an average of 4 pounds of garbage per person each day. (More if you’re a reality TV producer.)
• Recycling 1 glass jar saves enough energy to run your TV for 3 hours. (That means you get 18 hours for a 6-pack.)
– DidYouKnow.org

AND WE QUOTE:
“I get offered funny, quirky, pretty roles. I’d love to do an action movie. James Bond. Glamour. Daniel Craig. S–t loads of fun.”
– 40-year-old Jennifer Aniston in “Elle” magazine.

BS CHRONOMETER 03.03.09

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TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAY . . .
1982 [27] Jessica Biel, Ely MN, movie actress (“I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry”, “Elizabethtown”)/former TV actress (“7th Heaven” 1996-2006)/Justin Timberlake’s girlfriend

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Doll’s Festival” (“Hinamatsuri”) in Japan, a time to give thanks for the health & well being of daughters. Homes with young girls set up a display of dolls surrounded by peach blossoms, specially-colored diamond-shaped rice cakes, and white sake.

• “I Want You to Be Happy Day”, a day to show love, care & concern for others … for once. (Tomorrow is ‘Get Real, Loser, I Was Only Kidding Day’.)

• “National Anthem Day” in observance of the bill designating “The Star Spangled Banner” as the American National Anthem being passed by US Congress and signed into law by President Hoover 78 years ago on this date (1931).

• “Unique Names Day”, a highlight of “Celebrate Your Name Week”. When it comes to tagging kids with unusual names, nobody does it better (worse?) than show biz folk. Witness …
– Sage Moonblood (daughter) …. Action movie hero Sylvester Stallone.
– Shea (son) … NY Mets fan & “Paul Blart: Mall Cop” star Kevin James.
– Bronx Mowgli (son) … Singing couple Ashlee Simpson & Adam Wentz.
– Diezel Ky (son) … Singer Toni Braxton.
– Zuma Nesta Rock (son) … Singing duo Gwen Stefani & Gavin Rossdale.
– Peanut Kai (son) …. “General Hospital“ actor Ingo Rademacher.
– Pilot Inspektor (son) … “My Name is Earl” actor Jason Lee.
– Nahla Ariela (daughter) … Actress Halle Berry & boyfriend model Gabriel Aubry.
– Bluebell Madonna (daughter) …. Former Spice Girl Geri Halliwell.
– Audio Science (son) …. “Moonlight” actress Shannyn Sossamon.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1984 [25] “99 Luft Balloons” by Nena tops pop singles charts

2006 [03] Former glam-rocker Gary Glitter (“Rock & Roll, Part 2”) is sentenced to prison in Vietnam for improper relations with underage girls (since returned to UK)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1875 [134] By some accounts, the 1st recorded ‘Hockey Game’ is played in Montréal

1919 [90] 1st ‘International Air Mail Service’ (Seattle WA-Victoria BC)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2005 [04] Steve Fossett becomes the only person to fly an airplane around-the-world solo, without stops or refuelling (his ‘Virgin Atlantic Global Flyer’ lands at Salina KS after 67 hours, 2 minutes, 38 seconds)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] International Scrapbooking Day
[Thurs] Multiple Personalities Day
[Fri] Salespersons Day
[Sun] International Women’s Day
[Sun] Daylight Saving Time begins
This Week Is … Sleep Awareness Week
This Month Is … Music in Our Schools Month

BULL’S BITS

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BETTER BS SCHOOL MASCOTS:
Virtually every university has some sort of mascot parading about in costume. These might more accurately represent the student body …
• ‘Literature Major Who Answers All the Professor’s Rhetorical Questions’
• ‘Backward Hat Man’
• ‘Same Pair of Camouflage Pants Every Day in Class Guy’
• ‘Shirtless Frisbee Player’
• ‘Middle-Class White Kid Who Thinks He Can Relate to the Plight of Bob Marley’
– Thanks to Chris Milmore.

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
What’s the difference between ‘Virgin Olive Oil’ and ‘Extra Virgin Olive Oil’?
a. Acid content. [CORRECT. ‘Virgin’ must be less than 3% acid; ‘Extra Virgin’ less than 1%.]
b. Attitude.
c. Better looking olives.
d. One night with ‘Popeye’.
– “Imponderables”

BS PHONE STARTER:
If money were no object, what one luxury would you purchase for yourself?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Support Medical Examiners: Die strangely.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: About 60% of us still have one of THESE but rarely if ever use it.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A cassette player.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Good enough seldom is.