The Bull Sheet

March 27, 2009

Friday, March 27, 2009        Edition: #3984
You’re Up to Your Eyeballs in Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Crew members from the set of the now-shooting movie sequel “The Twilight Saga: New Moon” tell “E! News” that star Robert Pattinson stinks – literally – driving co-workers crazy because he never showers (200 million girls would still do him) . . . “Grey’s Anatomy” (ABC) creator Shonda Rhimes has confirmed that one of the show’s couples will tie the knot later this season and there’s increasing buzz the event will take place May 7th during the show’s landmark 100th episode (‘Meredith’ and ‘Derek’? ‘Izzy’ and ‘George’? ‘Mark’ and … uh ‘Mark’?) . . . One-time Spice Girl Victoria Beckham has issued the following statement: “I’m never going to sing again; I am a fashion designer now” (yesss!) . . . 50-year-old “CSI” star Marg Helgenberger has filed for divorce from her 19-year husband, 58-year-old Screen Actors Guild president Alan Rosenberg (maybe she found ‘evidence’?) . . . 23-year-old movie actress Keira Knightley (“The Dutchess”) says she economizes by renting designer shoes by the day instead of buying them (used shoes – phew!) . . . “The Hills” star Doug Reinhardt tells “In Touch Weekly” Paris Hilton would make a great mom & he’s so smitten with his new girlfriend he’d love to start a family with her (or at least her bank account) . . . Lindsay Lohan’s film career continues to sag, her latest movie “Labor Pains” getting only cable TV exposure before going straight to DVD in August (she’s 22 and hasn’t has a hit in 5 years) . . . Johnny Depp tops a new poll of women on the ‘Ultimate Fantasy Dinner Date’, beating out George Clooney . . . Jennifer Aniston tops a new ranking of ‘Hollywood’s Sexiest Women’ in “Details” magazine, followed by “Transformers” actress Megan Fox . . . And Britney Spears’ 17-year-old li’l sis’ Jamie Lynn has reportedly decided to give up both her ‘acting career’ & her plans to wed Casey Aldridge, father of her 10-month-old daughter Maddie (they’ll continue to live together – all the commitment you need in a double-wide).

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Celebrity Fight Night XV” – Saturday in Phoenix AZ Reba McEntire hosts a tribute to boxing legend Muhammad Ali, NFL QB Kurt Warner, Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps, and actor Forest Whitaker. Jon Bon Jovi headlines the event; Jordin Sparks performs at the after-party. The annual gala raises money for the local Muhammad Ali Parkinson Center.
• “GLAAD Media Awards” – Saturday the 20th annual awards recognizing fair and inclusive portrayals of the gay, lesbian, bisexual & transgender community are announced in NYC. For the 3rd year running, ABC-TV leads nominees, earning 6 nominations. Related ceremonies are planned for LA (April 19) and San Francisco (May 9).
• “Guitar Hero: Metallica” – Sunday the much ballyhooed new edition of the videogame arrives in stores. The new version promises several new ‘gameplay twists’.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Lil Wayne (“Lollipop”) performs.
• “Kids Choice Awards” (Nickelodeon) – Saturday Dwayne Johnson (“Race to Witch Mountain”) hosts the annual pop culture awards as voted by kids (favorite movie, animated movie, TV show, reality show, book, videogame, etc). Thankfully, nominee Chris Brown has made the wise decision to not show up.
NET: http://www.nick.com/kids-choice-awards/kca.jhtml
• John Mayer – Today he hosts “Mayercraft Carrier 2”, his 2nd annual fan cruise, which sets sail from Los Angeles on a 5-day tour to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.
• “Juno Awards” (CTV) – Sunday comedian Russell Peters returns to host the 38th annual Canadian music awards in Vancouver. Nickelback leads nominations with 5; Loverboy is inducted into the Canadian Music Hall of Fame; Sarah McLachlan is presented with the ‘Allan Waters Humanitarian Award’.
NET: http://www.junoawards.ca
• Prince – Tonight he wraps his 3-night residency on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel). Saturday he plays 3 back-to-back concerts at separate venues in Los Angeles (Nokia Theater, the Conga Room, and Club Nokia). Sunday his new “LotusFlow3r” 3-CD set goes on sale exclusively through Target (online and in-store), priced at a modest $11.98.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Alec Baldwin (“30 Rock”) hosts; Jonas Bros perform.
• TI – Today the “Whatever You Like” rapper goes before an Atlanta GA judge to be officially sentenced to jail. He’ll spend 1-year-and-1-day behind bars after pleading guilty to possession of unregistered weapons.

BS MUSIC NOTES:

• Ashanti – Just 4 months after she & boyfriend Nelly went public with their 4-year romance, she’s hinting they wed before the end of the year.
• Eminem – The video for his upcoming single “We Made You” was shot at the Palms Casino in Las Vegas. Dr Dre and 50 Cent join him in a game of poker as part of the storyline.
• Gwen Stefani – She & hubby Gavin Rossdale, parents of 2 young sons, have put plans for more babies on hold … so they can catch up on sleep. Rossdale says they’d love to try for a daughter but are simply too tired to think about it now.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:

• “The Haunting in Connecticut” ( PG-13 Horror Thriller ): After a family is forced to relocate for their son’s health they begin experiencing supernatural behavior in their new home, which turns out to be a former mortuary. Stars Virginia Madsen, Martin Donovan, and Elias Koteas. Shot entirely in Winnipeg, Manitoba.
NET: http://www.hauntinginconnecticut.com
• “Monsters vs Aliens” ( PG Sci-Fi Animation ): Reese Witherspoon stars as a young girl who’s turned into a giant monster when a meteorite from outer space hits. After she’s taken to a secret government compound, she meets a ragtag group of monsters also rounded up over the years. Voice cast also includes Hugh Laurie (“House”), John Krasinski (“The Office”), Kiefer Sutherland (“24“), Paul Rudd (“I Love You, Man”), Rainn Wilson (“The Office”), Stephen Colbert (“The Colbert Report”), and Seth Rogen (“Pineapple Express”). Screening in 3D and in IMAX theaters.
NET: http://www.monstersvsaliens.com
• “12 Rounds” ( PG-13 Action Thriller ): WWE wrestler John Cena plays a detective who discovers that his girlfriend has been kidnapped by an ex-con and he’ll have to successfully complete 12 challenges in order to secure her safe release. Ashley Scott co-stars. Set in New Orleans LA.
NET: http://12rounds-movie.com

THE TRUTH BEHIND 4 FOOD MYTHS:
• High Protein Harms Kidneys: There’s zero published research showing that protein damages healthy kidneys. As a rule of thumb, shoot to eat your target body weight in grams of protein daily. For example, if you’re a chubby 200 lbs and want to be a lean 180, then consume 180 grams of protein a day.
• Sweet Potatoes are Better: White potatoes and sweet potatoes have complementary nutritional differences; one isn’t necessarily better than the other. What’s different is how we eat them, ie: baked white potatoes typically aren’t eaten without cheese, sour cream, or butter.
• Red Meat Causes Cancer: No study has ever found a direct cause-and-effect relationship between red-meat consumption and cancer. Meat lovers who are worried about the supposed risks of charcoal-grilled meat should just trim off the burned or overcooked sections.
• Salt Causes High Blood Pressure: Large-scale scientific reviews have determined there’s no reason for people with normal blood pressure to restrict sodium intake. Strive for a potassium-rich diet, which serves to balance your sodium intake.
– Condensed from “Men’s Health Magazine”

SMELL LIKE AN EGYPTIAN:
The favorite perfume of powerful Egyptian ‘she king’ Hatshepsut may be resurrected from residue found in a 3,500-year-old perfume bottle. X-ray photographs of the 4.7-inch-tall (12-cm) bottle from the permanent collection of Bonn University’s Egyptian Museum reveal remnants of the ancient oil. The bottle was found in the queen’s possessions after her death in 1457 BC. Scientists plan to identify the substance and, possibly within a year, re-create the perfume. (It has the delicate bouquet of camel breath.)
– “National Geographic”

WAYS TO MAKE YOUR HOME DUST-PROOF:
Even if fighting dust is a battle you can never completely win, you can save a lot of time and energy with these dust-busting strategies …
• Keep Closet Floors Clear for Easy Cleaning: You can’t prevent clothes from shedding fibers, but you can make closets easier to keep clean and vastly cut down on dust.
• Upgrade Your Furnace Filter: If your home has a forced-air heating and/or cooling system, it can help control dust by filtering the air.
• Change Bedding Weekly: Bedding collects skin flakes, sheds its own fibers, and sends out a puff of dust every time you roll over. To minimize the fallout, wash it regularly.
• Capture Dust; Don’t Just Spread it Around: Rather than feather dusters or dry rags, use damp cloths or disposable dusters that attract and hold dust with an electrostatic charge.
• Shake Out Area Rugs: In most homes, carpet is by far the biggest dust reservoir.
• Take Cushions Out for a Beating: Upholstery fabric not only sheds its own fibers but also absorbs dust that settles on it. You raise puffs of dust every time you sit down.
• Match the Vacuum to the Flooring: Suction alone isn’t enough to pull much dust out of carpet. For good results, you need a vacuum with a powerful agitator.
– Condensed from “Reader’s Digest”

FOR THE RECORD … OR NOT?
Sakhan Dosova of Karaganda in northern Kazakhstan has documents that say she’s celebrating her 130th birthday today. Census officials discovered that her documents all agree that her birthdate is March 27, 1879. Other officials are not so sure, noting that birth records from the 19th century in Kazakhstan are notoriously unreliable. There is no doubt she is very old, perhaps the world’s oldest person.
– Neatorama.com

BS AMAZING FACT:
1-out-of-20 people have an extra rib.
– GreatFacts.com

BS CHRONOMETER 03.27.09


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1963 [46] Quentin Tarantino, Knoxville TN, film producer/writer/director (“Kill Bill”, Oscar-“Pulp Fiction”)

1970 [39] Mariah Carey, Huntington NY, pop singer (“Don’t Forget About Us”, “We Belong Together”)/5 Grammy Awards/18 #1 singles

1970 [39] Elizabeth Mitchell, LA CA, TV actress (‘Dr Juliet Burke’ on “Lost” since 2006)

1975 [34] Fergie (Stacy Ferguson), Whittier CA, pop singer (“Clumsy”, “Big Girls Don’t Cry”, Black Eyed Peas-“My Humps”, “Where Is The Love?”)/movie actress (“Grindhouse”, “Poseidon”)

SATURDAY –
Country singer Reba McEntire (“Somebody”) is 54; Country singer Rodney Atkins (“It’s America”) is 40; Movie actor Vince Vaughn  (“Wedding Crashers”) is 39; Rock guitarist Dave Keuning (The Killers) is 33; Movie actress Julia Stiles (“The Bourne Ultimatum”) is 28.

SUNDAY –
Comedian/actor/writer/composer Eric Idle (“Spamalot”) is 66; Rock singer Perry Farrell (Jane’s Addiction) is 50; Country singer Brady Seals (Hot Apple Pie) is 40.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “National Joe Day”, when people who hate their names are to be called ‘Joe’. Ask listeners for the most horrific given names they’ve come across. Or just ask MIA to name another kid.
• “Photography Day”, set aside to celebrate the birthday of legendary photographer Edward Steichen, born in Luxembourg in 1879; died in West Redding CT 1973. With cellphones able to immediately post pics online, he likely wouldn’t even recognize photography equipment today.
• “Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day”. How about these, for instance …
– “You’re the Ring Around My Bathtub, You’re the Hangnail of My Life”
– “If My Nose Was Running Money, Honey, I’d Blow it All on You”
– “You’ve Got Sawdust on the Floor of Your Heart”
– “80 Proof Bottle of Tear Stopper”
– “You’ve Already Put Big Old Tears in My Eyes, Must You Throw Dirt in My Face?”
There’s a whole mess of other wacky titles listed here …
NET: http://www.downstream.sk.ca/country1.htm
The ‘Do-It-Yourself Country Song Generator’ will help you create a hit in just moments …
NET: http://baetzler.de/cgi-bin/country.pl

SATURDAY –
• “Global Earth Hour” – Cities around-the-world turn off their lights at 8:30 pm local time for one hour to raise awareness of climate change and the need to reduce energy consumption. The event began 2 years ago when an estimated 2.2 million Aussies in Sydney participated. This year some 2,848 municipalities in 84 countries have committed to take part. Many cities will feature entertainment in the dark, ie: country singer Jo Dee Messina will play a free concert in downtown Nashville TN.
NET: http://www.earthhour.org/
• “Hot Tub Day”, time to bust stress by soaking yourself in a steaming hot tub. It’s human stew!
• “Something On a Stick Day”, celebrating corn dogs, shish kebabs, Popsicles, ice cream bars, and anything else that’s served on a stick. It’s estimated there are more than 3 dozen foods regularly served on a stick at fairs and carnivals, including deep-fried candy bars, deep-fried Twinkies, and chocolate-covered bananas. Beersicle, anyone?

SUNDAY –
• “Mom & Pop Business Owners Day”, honoring family-run small-time business operations. Ask listeners for the most unusual combination of services offered by a single business that they’ve come across, ie: “Al & Flo’s Roofing, Dry Cleaning, and Farm Equipment”.
• “Vietnam Veterans Day”, honoring those who served in one of America’s least popular wars. The last US troops left Vietnam 36 years ago TODAY in 1973.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1995 [14] David Letterman hosts the 67th Academy Awards, when he infamously introduces 2 celebs in the audience by saying, “Oprah, Uma … Uma, Oprah”

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .

1790 [219] 1st ‘Shoelace’ (next day … 1st busted shoelace)

1860 [149] 1st ‘Corkscrew’, ML Byrn’s ‘Covered Gimlet Screw with T Handle’

1998 [11] The ‘Little Blue Pill’ for men is 1st approved for sale by the FDA (men begin skipping to work in the morning)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Mon] Hot Dog Day
[Mon] Take a Walk in the Park Day
[Mon] Doctor’s Day
[Wed] April Fools Day
[Wed] Bruce Springsteen & E Street Band tour begins (San Jose CA)
[Thurs] “ER” series finalé (NBC)
This Week Is … Cleaning Week
This Month Is … Women’s History Month

BULL’S BITS


BAD NAMES FOR PROFESSIONAL WRESTLERS:
• ‘Linus The Soup-Eater’
• ‘Kimono Boy’
• ‘The Bulimic Cheerleader’
• ‘El Wusso’
• ‘The Wilting Zinnia’
• ‘The Narcoleptic’
• ‘The Whispering Mime’
• ‘Cookies ‘n Creme’ (tag team duo)
• ‘Tickles’
– Thanks to Jeff Johnson

BS RANDOM JOKE:

The lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: According to a 6-year study, if you do THIS every night you’ll live longer.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Sleep 6-to-7 hours vs 8 hours. Of 1 million adults tracked, those who slept a little bit less had a lower death rate.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

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