Bullseye!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
The producers of “Glee” (FOX) are hoping to land another high profile guest star now that 42-year-old movie actress Julia Roberts has revealed she’s a huge fan of the musical series (the cast has been asking, “Huh, who’s Julie Robert?”) . . . Time Warner Cable has apologized for accidentally airing ‘Playboy Channel’ programming on the children’s cable channels ‘Kids on Demand’ and ‘Kids Preschool on Demand’ in some areas due to equipment failure (“Mommy, is that Big Bird?”) . . . Famous person Lindsay Lohan’s father Michael has suffered a minor heart attack, just weeks after doctors told him he needs to have a catheterization (on the upside, he won’t be talking to the press anytime soon) . . . 29-year-old sometime singer/sorta actress Jessica Simpson tells interviewer Barbara Walters she wants to date someone who ‘isn’t embarrassed’ by her life (Andy Dick maybe?) . . . Actress Kristen Stewart has confirmed that top film directors Gus Van Sant (“Milk”), Sofia Coppola (“Lost in Translation”), and Bill Condon (“Dreamgirls”) have all been approached to direct the 4th “Twilight Saga” film, “Breaking Dawn” (the 5th will be called ‘Flogging a Dead Horse’) . . . Media maven Oprah Winfrey is headed to court as a judge has okayed the defamation suit filed against her by the former headmistress of her girls’ academy (Oprah’s defense will include giving a new car to each member of the jury) . . . Actress Neve Campbell is campaigning against oil companies as narrator of the new documentary “Dirty Oil”, a British film that lambasts the Alberta tar sands, believed to be the largest industrial project on the planet today . . . And it seems even fawning celeb magazine “Us Weekly” has some issues with this celebrity mom, running a headline that reads “Kate Gosselin Finally Takes a Break to Play With Kids”.
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Jamie Cullum (“Devil May Care”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Jonny Lang (“Live At the Ryman”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Wild Light (“Adult Nights”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – 50 Cent (“Black Magic”, due later this year).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Gene Simmons (KISS).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Fanfarlo (“Reservoir”).
• “Survivor” (CBS) – Sorry fans, your weekly fix is preempted by the annual “March Madness” NCAA tournament.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Orianthi (“Believe”).
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Britney Spears – TMZ reports she’s the latest star to take a hit in the slumping property market, lowering the asking price for her 6-bedroom California mansion from $7.9 million to $5.5 million, a loss of $2.4 million. (And still no takers!)
• Daughtry – For the 2nd leg of their North American tour, Lifehouse has been added to the bill as ‘special guest’. Chris Daughtry appears on Lifehouse’s 5th studio album “Smoke & Mirrors”. The trek kicks off tonight in Baltimore MD.
• Lady Gaga – Fear-mongering website “Vigilant Citizen” has declared her ‘a pawn of the Illuminati and a peddler of the occult’ and says her “Telephone” video is a brazen attempt to ‘recruit teenagers into mind control programs’. (Oh. We just thought it was overindulgent pap.)
NET: http://bit.ly/a1ztEd
• Miranda Lambert – “Roadside Bars & Pink Guitars”, her first tour as a headliner gets underway tonight in Beckley WV, with special guest James Otto (“Just Got Started Lovin’ You”). She’s chosen 9 different male country artists to open various shows during the 22-city tour.
• Ozzy Osbourne – He’s currently in talks to have his autobiography “I Am Ozzy” turned into a movie. (Who should get the lead role? Depp could do it.)
• Rihanna – Jay-Z has organized a collaboration between her & British boy-band JLS, hoping it will help broaden the lads’ North American exposure. Their self-titled debut album went 3-times Platinum in the UK.
• Stone Temple Pilots – Tonight they introduce fans to their new album at their first live date of 2010, the annual “South By Southwest Music Festival” (“SXSW”) in Austin TX. The show kicks off an extensive worldwide tour, including a North American Summer tour.
COMING ATTRACTIONS:
A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “The First Avenger: Captain America” – A movie adaptation of the comic book character is attracting several actors to audition for the lead, among them John Krasinski (“The Office”), Ryan Phillippe (“Flags Of Our Fathers”), and Chris Evans (“Fantastic Four”). “Sherlock Holmes” actor Hugo Weaving, who became a top villain in “The Matrix” movies, is in talks to play the superhero’s arch-foe, ‘Red Skull’. The movie’s due in theaters in July 2011.
• “Green Lantern” – Shooting has just begun in New Orleans, Louisiana on yet another superhero movie that’s expected to be a Summer 2011 blockbuster. The 3-D adaptation of the DC Comics series stars Ryan Reynolds as a test pilot who’s granted a mystical green ring that bestows him with otherworldly powers. The film co-stars Mark Strong, Peter Sarsgaard, Blake Lively, and Tim Robbins.
• “Just Go With It” – Adam Sandler’s next romantic comedy will serve as the vehicle for the bigscreen debut of newly plastic-filled realty TV star Heidi Montag (“The Hills”). She’s landed a cameo role in the film which boasts an all-star cast including Sandler, Jennifer Aniston, and Nicole Kidman. Shooting has already begun in Los Angeles with an eye toward a release next year.
• “Me, The Mob & The Music” – The autobiography of ‘60s singer Tommy James (& The Shondells-“Crimson & Clover”, “Mony Mony”) is being developed for the bigscreen. James recorded a series of hits for Roulette Records, which turned out to be a front for the Genovese crime family. Actor Val Kilmer is in talks to play the lead role. He previously played Jim Morrison in Oliver Stone’s bio-film about ‘60s-‘70s rock band The Doors.
WIDE WORLD OF BS:
• A Russian couple having sex in a car parked in a tiny garage have died from carbon monoxide poisoning. (But they were smilin’!)
– MSNBC
• A Sacramento, California car wash owner is claiming that a pair of Internal Revenue Service agents visited his business to demand he pay a debt – of 4 cents. (Plus penalties, of course.)
– Fox News
• Villagers in Tuban, Indonesia snack on soil for better health. ‘Ampo’ is made from clean, gravel-free dark earth collected from nearby paddy fields. (How do you know if it’s clean?)
– Reuters.com
• Austria’s special forces has organized an elite team of Belgian Shepherd dogs who join human peers during parachute drops, hurling themselves out of planes at 10,000 ft. (To piss off the enemy?)
– Telegraph.co.uk
• A 52-year-old Philadelphia, Pennsylvania man is facing up to 20 years in the slammer after pleading guilty to robbing a bank … with a banana. (He oughta get an award for chutzpah!)
– “The Morning Call”
SLEEPIEST COUNTRIES:
According to the latest time-use data from the OECD (Organisation for Economic Co-operation & Development ), these are the developed countries where people get the most Zs …
5. Canada (8.48 hours per day)
4. Australia (8.53 hours)
3. Spain (8.56 hours)
2. USA (8.63 hours)
1. France (8.83 hours)
– ChinaDaily.com
BS GIZMOS & GADGETS:
• The new product ‘Vibrance Cream’ claims to boost a woman’s flagging libido within minutes. It’s touted as the first product aimed primarily at women suffering from ‘FSD’. During trials, 50% of women purportedly felt ‘a response’ within 5 minutes, and the effects lasted 30-to-45 minutes. (A little mood lighting and a bottle of Grey Goose is equally effective.)
NET: http://bit.ly/aLAsGr
– DailyMail.co.uk
• ‘i-Got-Control’ is a new plug-and-play accessory that transforms your iPhone, iPod Touch, or iPad into a Universal Remote Control, giving you free reign of any infrared device, be it a TV, stereo system, DVD player, etc. With a database of 40,000+ codes for consumer electronic products, it’s a snap to take control anytime, anywhere. Priced circa $70. (Well worth it when you want to put YOUR game on in a sports bar.)
– Coolest-Gadgets.com
• A company called Too Faced Cosmetics has come out with a new lip gloss named ‘Mood Swing’. The product is said to be ‘emotionally-activated’, supposedly changing color when the wearer is … ‘in the mood’. (Could there be a worse name for a female product than ‘Mood Swing’?)
NET: http://bit.ly/9DKt7r
– TheToiletPaper.com
COOTY CATCHERS:
It seems we leave more than just our fingerprints behind when we touch stuff. University of Colorado researchers have discovered we also deposit a tell-tale trail of germs. In experiments, they were able to map a unique bacterial genetic signature left by 9 different people. The germy DNA lasts through temperature changes, humidity, and sunlight. The scientists conclude that each one of us leaves a unique trail of bugs behind us as we travel through our daily lives, and they think the technique could become a valuable new tool for forensic scientists. (And a new storyline for “CSI”?)
– “Globe & Mail”
FOR THE RECORD:
42-year-old Donna Simpson of Old Bridge, New Jersey has set her sights on becoming ‘Fattest Woman In the World’. 3 years ago she was cited by “Guinness Records” as ‘World’s Fattest Mother’ after giving birth to daughter Jacqueline while weighing 530 lbs (240 kg). Nowadays she’s tipping the scales at 600 lbs (272 kg) with the ultimate goal of hitting a nice round 1,000 lb (454 kg) within 2 years. She’ll try to eat 12,000 calories a day to make her dream come true but says it may be tough because … running after her daughter keeps her weight down.
– “National Post”
BS AMAZING FACT:
Although art theft is a $6-billion global enterprise, most pilfered pieces sell for only 10% of their value … tops.
– “Newsweek”
BS CHRONOMETER 03.18.10
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1963 [47] Vanessa Williams, Tarrytown NY, TV actress (“Ugly Betty” 2006-2010)/pop singer (“Save the Best For Last”, “Colors Of the Wind”)/movie actress (“Hannah Montana: The Movie”, “Johnson Family Vacation”)/Broadway actress (“Into the Woods”, “Kiss Of the Spider Woman”)
1966 [44] Jerry Cantrell, Tacoma WA, alt-rock guitarist/vocalist (Alice in Chains- “Check My Brain”, “No Excuses”)
1970 [40] Queen Latifah (Dana Owens), Newark NJ, movie actress (“The Secret Life of Bees”, “Chicago”)/hip-hop/jazz/pop singer (“Persona”) FACTOID: Tonight she’s a guest on “Tavis Smiley” (PBS).
1972 [38] Dane Cook, Boston MA, comedian (“Rough Around the Edges”)/movie actor (“My Best Friend’s Girl”, “Good Luck Chuck”)
1979 [31] Adam Levine, LA CA, pop singer (Maroon 5-“Makes Me Wonder”, “She Will Be Loved”)
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Absolutely Incredible Kid Day”, when we’re encouraged to tell our kids how great they are. (Sounds corny, but it’s a helluva investment in the future!)
• “Awkward Moments Day”, a day to celebrate the humor in life’s uncomfortable situations. (Which we normally fail to see until years later.)
• “Biodiesel Day”, in honor of the clean-burning fuel that can be used in any diesel engine with no conversion whatsoever. It is derived from 100% renewable resources like soybeans, canola, mustard seed, even recycled cooking oil. It’s celebrated on the anniversary of the 1858 birth of Rudolph Diesel, German inventor of the diesel engine.
• “Companies That Care Day”, initiated by the non-profit organization that celebrates businesses that prize employees and are committed to on-going community service.
NET: http://www.companies-that-care.org
• “Forgive Mom & Dad Day”. No matter how lousy they were as parents, it’s time to let it go and get on with your life.
• “Supreme Sacrifice Day”. Ask your parents what it’s about … if you’ve got an hour or 2 to kill.
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2009 [01] 45-year-old English actress Natasha Richardson (Mrs Liam Neeson) dies in NYC following a head injury suffered 2 days earlier during a ski lesson at Mont Tremblant, Québec
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1998 [12] Michael Jackson goes shopping at a toy store in Munich, Germany … dressed as an Arab woman
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1892 [118] Lord Stanley 1st proposes a ‘Silver Challenge Cup for Hockey’ (becomes known as the ‘Stanley Cup’)
TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1945 [65] 1st NHLer to score 50 goals in a season (Maurice ‘Rocket’ Richard, Montréal Canadiens)
1981 [29] Buffalo Sabres set NHL record of 9 goals in 1 period (vs Toronto Maple Leafs)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Fri] “The Bounty Hunter”; “Diary Of a Wimpy Kid”; “Hubble 3D”; “Repo Men”; “The Runaways” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Chocolate Caramel Day
[Sat] Kiss Your Fiancé Day
[Sat] Proposal Day
[Sat] Vernal Equinox (Spring)
[Sun] Naw-Ruz (Persian)
This Week Is … Brain Awareness Week
This Month Is … Craft Month
BULL’S BITS
BS SOCIAL NETWORKS YOU SHOULDN’T JOIN:
• CellMates – You probably want to avoid qualifying to join this site.
• RealFriendsBook – Boring because there are only a couple people on it.
• S–tFacedBook – You only have friends when you’re drunk.
• OnlyFarmvilleNotices – That’s all there is, there’s nothing more.
• PantsParty – And you’re invited!
• JackMyCar – Announce to the network of carjackers where you’ll be, and they’ll be right on it.
• CatFancier – People who love cats are just plain weird.
• ZitterFace – Nice profile pics. Ewww!
– Adapted from BBSpot.com
BS RANDOM JOKE:
It’s obvious you’re very open-minded … you can feel the draft from here.
BS PHONE STARTER:
What really strange habit would you like to break? (Humming during meetings? Biting your toenails?)
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: According to the Alan Greenspan book “The Age of Turbulence”, a sure sign the economy is recovering is an increase in sales of THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Men’s underwear.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.
