Either Sheet or Get Off the Air!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
People.com is reporting that Oscar-winning actress Sandra Bullock has now moved out of her home in the wake of a report that hubby Jesse James cheated on her, perhaps explaining her abrupt cancellation of a scheduled appearance in London this weekend (talk about a “Blind Side”!) . . . British tabloids are suggesting the Kate Winslet-Sam Mendes split is a result of his ‘relationship’ with 22-year-old actress Rebecca Hall, whom he ‘worked with on theater projects’ in London & NYC (BS translation: He dipped his pen in company ink) . . . Miley Cyrus tells “Us Magazine” she’ll ‘rejoice’ when her “Hannah Montana” series finally ends (join the club, sweetie!) . . . 19-year-old actress Emma Watson has received a standing O for her starring role in Anton Chekhov’s play “Three Sisters” at Brown University, where she is studying (though a veteran of 10 films, she says she battled nerves in her university debut) . . . 55-year-old actor Kevin Costner’s latest wife is pregnant with his 7th kid (that’s one way to create an audience for your movies!) . . . NBC-TV’s 10 pm ratings are up 45% since Jay Leno was banished back to the late night “Tonight Show” (the bad news is, the network’s still in 4th place) . . . And the debut of Jessica Simpson’s new VH1 reality show “The Price of Beauty” has attracted just 1 million viewers, fewer even than the History Channel (she puts the ‘bomb’ in bombshell).
WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “America’s Next Top Model” (CW/A Channel) – Tonight the contestants learn that they can only wear one article of clothing during their photoshoot.
• “CMT Crossroads” (CMT) – Tonight Jimmy Buffett and the Zac Brown Band.
• “Friday Night Alright” (VH1) – Madonna.
• “The Hour” (CBC) – Tonight Slash (“Slash”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Ryan Bingham (“Mescalito”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight 311 (“Uplifter”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Tonight OK Go (“Of The Blue Colour Of the Sky”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight Air (“Love 2”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Tonight Sade (“Soldier of Love”).
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Sigourney Weaver hosts; musical guest Tings Tings.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight Barenaked Ladies (“All in Good Time”).
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Hole – Tonight Courtney Love’s new version of her all-girl rock band is scheduled to make its US debut at the “Spin” magazine party at Stubb’s BBQ as part of the “South by Southwest Music Festival” in Austin TX.
• Katy Perry – She’s reportedly told fiancé Russell Brand she wants to get married in a church, nixing his idea of a recording studio at LA’s Sunset Marquis hotel. The reason may be that both Perry’s parents are church pastors.
• Lady Antebellum – “Need You Now” is now #1 on the ‘Adult Pop Chart’, the first country song to crossover and score that feat since Faith Hill’s “Breathe” in 2000.
• Lady Gaga – She’s reportedly put her 17-year-old sister Natali Germanotta in touch with a top NYC vocal coach with a view to training her as a back-up singer.
• Lil Wayne – Sunday he voices the part of ‘Jesus’ in a new animated series for Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim called “Freakniks”. The show also features T-Pain.
• Muse – Tomorrow they perform a club show at Stubb’s for the “SXSW Festival” in Austin TX. Metric is also on the bill.
TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “The Bounty Hunter” ( PG-13 Romantic Comedy ): A bounty hunter (Gerard Butler) learns that his next target is his ex-wife (Jennifer Aniston), a reporter working on a murder cover-up. Soon after their reunion, the always-at-odds duo find themselves on a run-for-their-lives adventure with a bunch of New Jersey heavies in pursuit.
NET: http://www.thepursuitbegins.com
• “Diary Of a Wimpy Kid” ( PG Comedy ): Zachary Gordon plays a young schoolboy who uses the journal his mother forces him to keep to plot his middle-school survival. Writer Jeff Kinney created the story as a web-comic in 2004; the pop-culture phenomenon quickly grew into a daily online strip and, ultimately, a series of popular novels. Shot in Vancouver.
NET: http://www.wimpykid.com
• “Hubble 3D” ( Limited Release G-Rated Documentary ): Leonardo DiCaprio narrates the efforts of 7 astronauts aboard the Space Shuttle “Atlantis” as they attempt to repair the Hubble Space Telescope. Shot using IMAX 3D cameras.
NET: http://www.imax.com/hubble/
• “Repo Men” ( R-Rated Action Thriller ): Jude Law stars as a repo man who repossesses artificial organs from those who fail to make their payments. After he himself is outfitted with a new heart, he’s forced to go on the run when he falls on hard financial times. Co-stars Forest Whitaker, Alice Braga. Shot in Toronto & Hamilton ON.
NET: http://www.repomenarecoming.com
• “The Runaways” ( Limited Release R-Rated Music Bio ): Kristen Stewart & Dakota Fanning star in this chronicle of the groundbreaking LA band formed in 1975. The film focuses on the friendship between teen band members Joan Jett & Cherie Currie. The cast spent a month before filming began rehearsing and recording the music.
NET: http://www.runawaysmovie.com
WHITE LIARS:
A UK poll of 1,000 parents has found that both moms & dads lie to their children 100 times a year on average, despite telling them that fibbing is wrong. 1-in-3 has also lied to a teacher to get their kid out of school for a day. Two-thirds of parents admit to using their children as an excuse to get out of going to a party or for being late. Many even own up to encouraging their children to tell ‘white lies’ to teachers when they’re late for school or haven’t completed homework. (You get what you grow.)
– “Daily Mail”
MOST TV IS TORTURE ANYWAY:
French documentarians have conducted an experiment in which they created a faux TV game show and then instructed participants (who believed it was a real TV program) to administer electric shocks to unseen contestants each time they answered questions incorrectly, with voltage increasing for each wrong answer. Even as the unseen contestants (who were actors) screamed in agony and pleaded for mercy, 81% of the participants continued to obey the instructions of the host and kept administering higher & higher levels of electric shock. (This almost makes Simon Cowell seem pleasant.)
– Salon.com
FAT CHANCE:
Arizona State University research has found that ads featuring plus-sized models are unlikely to work on their intended audiences … fatties. Marketing expert Naomi Mandel’s study of the relationship between body size and marketing has found that using ‘heavy models’ in ad campaigns lowers female consumers’ self-esteem and makes them less likely to buy a product.
She also suggests that normal-weight consumers experience lower self-esteem after exposure to even moderately heavy models, such as those in Dove soap’s ‘Real Women’ campaign. (Looks like Kirstie Alley’s soon gonna be out of work … again.)
– “Phoenix New Times”
LUCK OF THE DRAW:
‘Chatroulette’ is a new website that pairs random strangers for webcam-based conversations. At any point, either user may leave the current chat by initiating another random connection. Highlights of a new statistical breakdown of the website’s users …
• 47% of Chatroulette spins connect you with someone from the USA. The next most likely country is France at 15%.
• Of the spins showing a single person, 89% are male; 11% female.
• You’re more likely to encounter a webcam featuring no person than one with a solo female.
• 8% of spins show multiple people. 1-in-3 females appear as part of a group; 1-in-12 males.
• 1-in-8 spins yield something R-rated (or worse).
• You are twice as likely to encounter a sign requesting female nudity than you are to encounter actual female nudity.
NET: http://www.chatroulette.com
– TechCrunch.com
WHY GALS LIKE GIRLY MEN:
A new University of Aberdeen study of female preferences in 30 countries (including Australia, Canada, New Zealand, and the USA) has found that most women now prefer feminine-looking men over more rugged guys. Historically women chose ‘manly’ men because features like a square jaw, low brow, and thin lips suggested superior genes which would produce healthier offspring. Now researchers believe that improvements in healthcare in wealthy Western countries mean women don’t have need to worry so much about the quality of their offspring – and so are picking more feminine looking men. In Sweden, for instance, which has the best-ranked healthcare, 68% of women now prefer feminine-looking men. (The good news is, it looks like [co-host] has better odds of finding a date this weekend!)
– Telegraph.co.uk
FOR THE RECORD:
A wistaria vine in Sierra Madre, California has been named ‘World’s Largest Flowering Plant’ by “Guinness World Records”. The vine is so big it has its own festival, “Sierra Madre Wistaria Festival”, the latest edition being celebrated this Sunday. New homeowners planted the big bush back in 1894 to celebrate their purchase. Ironically, the vine eventually destroyed the house. Now, 116 years later, it remains healthy, sprouting about a million-and-a-half blooms each year and spreading over 2 residential backyards.
NET: http://www.sierramadrenews.net/wistaria.htm
– NBC News
BS CHRONOMETER 03.19.10
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1947 [63] Glenn Close, Greenwich CT, movie actress (“101 Dalmatians”, “Fatal Attraction”)/TV actress (“Damages” since 2007)/Broadway actress (Tony Awards-“Death & the Maiden”, “Sunset Boulevard”)
1955 [55] Bruce Willis, Idar-Oberstein, Germany, movie actor (“Cop Out”, “Die Hard” series)/ex-Mr Demi Moore (1987-2000)
1976 [34] Zach Lind, Mesa AZ, rock drummer (Jimmy Eat World-“Pain”, “The Middle”)
SATURDAY –
Movie actor William Hurt (“Into the Wild”) is 60; Movie director Spike Lee (“Malcolm X”) is 53; Movie/TV actress Holly Hunter (“Saving Grace”) is 52; Rock singer Chester Bennington (Linkin Park) is 34; Rock guitarist Nick Wheeler (All-American Rejects) is 28; Pop singer Lady Gaga (“Telephone”) is 24.
SUNDAY –
Movie actor Gary Oldman (“The Book of Eli”) is 52; Movie/stage actor Matthew Broderick (“The Producers”) is 48; Rock singer/guitarist Deryck Whibley (Sum 41) is 30.
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Last Day of Winter”, as “Spring” officially arrives tomorrow with the Vernal Equinox.
• “Poultry Day”, celebrating chicken, turkey, and other farm-raised fowl that we commonly consume. They also give us our breakfast eggs. Thanks, eh?
• “St Joseph’s Day”, the day that the swallows traditionally return to the Mission San Juan Capistrano in California, an excuse for the annual “Fiesta de las Golindrinas”. Every March 19th since 1776 (with few exceptions), the birds have come back to usher in Spring in the Southern California seaside town, and their return is now an annual tourist attraction. “When the Swallows Come Back to Capistrano” was actually a hit song for Glenn Miller back in the day (1940).
SATURDAY –
• “Extraterrestrial Abductions Day”, honoring all wackos who claim they’ve been kidnapped by aliens.
• “First Day of Spring”, as the new season officially arrives in the Northern Hemisphere this afternoon at 1:32 pm EDT.
• “Nowruz” (“New Day”), the Persian New Year. The date is determined by the solar calendar and begins on the First Day of Spring. The festival lasts 13 days.
• “Proposal Day”, when both men & women are encouraged to pop the big question.
• “Quilting Day”, observed annually on the 3rd Saturday of March to honor the old-fashioned art-form that’s becoming lost in our hi-tech society. (Sort of a patched together celebration.)
• “Snowman Burning”, the 39th annual at Lake Superior State University in Sault Sainte Marie MI, a celebration at high noon that includes the reading of poetry and doggerel heralding the end of Winter, followed by the effigy-burning of a snowman … and lots of heavy-duty toasting.
NET: http://www.lssu.edu/snowman
• “World Storytelling Day”, a global celebration of the art of oral storytelling, celebrated every year on March 20th.
SUNDAY –
• “Astrology Day”, celebrated annually on the first day of star sign Aries.
• “Common Courtesy Day” … if you please. Thanks for your adherence!
• “Children’s Poetry Day”, an annual celebration instigated by UNESCO.
• “Fragrance Day”, which either has to do with perfume or [co-host] after a workout.
• “Single Parents Day”, saluting those dedicated folks who single-handedly do the work of two in providing for their families.
• “Teenagers Day”, a day to quit picking on them for their awkwardness and angst in striving to become adults and admit that, compared to ourselves at that age, they aren’t so bad after all.
• “World Day for Elimination of Racial Discrimination”, an annual observance by the UN since 1966. (So how’s it working so far?)
• “World Down Syndrome Day”, the 4th annual to raise public awareness of the syndrome resulting from the triplication of the 21st chromosome. (The reason it’s on 3/21.)
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2009 [01] “Late Show” host David Letterman marries longtime partner Regina Lasko (when he can’t find an intern to ‘date’)
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1957 [53] Elvis Presley buys the ‘Graceland’ estate in Memphis, Tennessee for $100,000 (about the same amount it now rakes in … per day)
1988 [22] Michael Jackson buys a ranch near Santa Ynez, California, christens it ‘Neverland’, and later builds his own zoo & amusement park (then allows it to go to seed)
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1990 [20] 1st-ever ‘Women’s World Hockey Tournament’ (won by Canada in Ottawa)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1994 [16] ‘World’s Largest Omelette’ is made in Yokohama, Japan with 160,000 eggs, measuring 1,383 sq ft
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Mon] As Young As You Feel Day
[Mon] International Day Of the Seal
[Mon] International Goof-Off Day
[Mon] World Day for Water
[Tues] Puppy Day
[Tues] World Meteorological Day
This Week Is … Act Happy Week
This Month Is … Ethics Awareness Month
BULL’S BITS
BS FIND THE FAKES:
Some of the following are actual names of current musical acts; some are totally made up. Ask a listener/guest/crew member to decide which are which while you run down the list rapid-fire …
• Biff Hitler & The Violent Mood Swings [real]
• Nerds With Aptitudes [fake]
• The Band Formerly Known As Sausage [real]
• One Inch Tacks [fake]
• Pie Hole [fake]
• The Bourbon Tabernacle Choir [real]
• The Boxing Ghandis [real]
• Toe Tagged [fake]
• Cindy Brady’s Lisp [real]
• Spastic Colon [real]
BS RANDOM JOKE:
It takes balls to step back into the spotlight after a scandal. If you are Tiger Woods, yours are made by Nike.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: According to a survey, the average woman has 5 of THESE while the average man has 12.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Hats.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The only thing most people do better than anyone else is read their own handwriting.
