Friday, March 7, 2008        Edition: #3727
“There’s No BS Like Show BS … “

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Danish businessman Claus Hjelmbak has asked actress Lindsay Lohan to host a “Scandinavian Style Mansion” gala in LA NEXT WEEK, replacing Britney Spears who was deemed too unstable for the gig (well Lindsay’s still gotta make it through an entire party weekend – good luck, Claus!) . . . Movie actor Kevin Costner will collect an undisclosed settlement (in lieu of his $8 million contract) from the producers of the romantic comedy, “Taming Ben Taylor”, a movie that never got made because financing fell apart (he makes what’s likely multi-millions for NOT acting) . . . It’s been confirmed that 55-year-old movie actor Patrick Swayze (“Dirty Dancing”) has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, but his doctor says – quote – “he appears to be responding well to treatment – thus far” (BS translation: last dance for ‘Johnny Castle’) . . . The producers of “24“ (FOX) are developing a 2-hour TV-movie prequel to air THIS FALL, designed to bridge the 2-year break between seasons 6 and 7 (now re-scheduled for JANUARY ‘09) . . . Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes & family are apparently living in an apartment at the LA Scientology Celebrity Center while their $40-million Beverly Hills mansion is renovated, adding a dining room that seats 20 and a 50-seat home theater (and they’re lowering the kitchen cupboards so Tom can reach them) . . . Movie actor Matthew McConaughey (“Fool’s Gold“) is launching his own swimming & surfing clothing line called ‘JK Livin’, named after his production company and favorite catchphrase, ‘Just Keep Livin’ (so it’s not for ‘Jumpin Kate’ then?) . . . Contrary to recent rumors, former supermodel Cindy Crawford has no plans to join the cast of ABC-TV’s “The View” (if you really want a gig, you’re gonna have to start a different rumor, honey) . . . And preggers 16-year-old Jamie-Lynn Spears is said to be turning to complete strangers for help with her pregnancy because her mom is too busy with sister Britney (this is probably the wisest thing she’s ever done!).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Amy Winehouse – The official excuse for her bruised & swollen face was an obscure condition called ‘impetigo’ but a report now circulating says Amy was smoking in a restaurant and, after a server asked her 3 times to stop, she went all hardcore and stubbed the cig out …on her cheek.
• Avril Lavigne – She’s launching her own ‘lifestyle brand’ for the junior market under the name ‘Abbey Dawn’. The clothing and jewelry line is scheduled to hit stores in JULY.
• Blind Melon – The reformed ‘90s alt-rock band decided Travis Warren was the perfect replacement for late frontman Shannon Hoon when they discovered he had a giant picture of Hoon … tattooed on his back. Now THAT’s dedication to the job!
• Good Charlotte – It seems Benji Madden & Paris Hilton really are an item … for now. They’ve recently been spotted together at a Linkin Park concert in LA.
• Justin Timberlake – He’s been signed as the face of a new men’s fragrance line from cosmetics giant Parfums Givenchy. The product will be officially unveiled in JUNE.
• R Kelly – He’s facing another lawsuit as tour promoter Trevanna Entertainment is claiming he owes it $75,000 in fees after reneging on an agreement to use its services.
• Snoop Dogg – He says he doesn’t like Oprah Winfrey anymore after she branded him a ‘misogynist’. (In his defense, he says he’s NOT a misogynist … he was raised Baptist.)

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Canadian Idol” – SATURDAY & SUNDAY auditions are being held in Ottawa.
• Canadian Radio Music Awards – TODAY the 11th annual honors for Canada’s hottest rising radio music stars are handed out at a luncheon gala at Toronto’s Royal York Hotel, and singer/songwriter Alanis Morissette is inducted into the Canadian Music Industry Hall of Fame.
• Denzel Washington – TONIGHT the movie star & wife Pauletta receive the ‘Frederick D Patterson Award’ at the United Negro College Fund’s 64th anniversary dinner in NYC.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly (NBC) – TONIGHT Seether (“Rise Above This”) is featured.
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) –  TONIGHT country singer Blake Shelton (“Pure BS”) is on.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – “Enchanted” actress Amy Adams hosts. Indie rock group Vampire Weekend (“A-Punk“) is the musical guest.
• “South-By-Southwest Festival” – TONIGHT the annual festival of the arts in Austin TX kicks off and runs through MARCH 16th. The first 5 days focus on film, the second 5 on music.
NET: http://sxsw.com/
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC) – TONIGHT Swedish rock band The Hives perform.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “The Bank Job” ( R-Rated Thriller ): A group of criminals are lured into a heist, thinking they’re going to rip off the safety deposit boxes of some of London’s wealthiest citizens. Instead, they’re unknowing recruits for a top-secret mission to steal photos of a royal princess in ‘compromising situations’. Stars Jason Statham (“The Transporter”). Based on a true story.
NET: http://www.thebankjobmovie.com/
• “College Road Trip” ( G-Rated Comedy ): Raven-Symoné (“That’s So Raven”) stars as an over-achieving high school student who hits the road seeking to find the perfect university. Martin Lawrence plays her overprotective cop-father who tags along to keep an eye on her. The safest, most sanitary ‘road movie’ ever?
NET: http://disney.go.com/disneypictures/collegeroadtrip/
• “10,000 BC” ( PG-13 Action Adventure ): In this prehistoric epic, a  young mammoth hunter loses his woman to an evil warlord, so he gathers together a massive army to cross the wilderness to find a lost civilization and mount a daring rescue. Shot in New Zealand.
NET: http://www.10000bcmovie.com/

BLESS THE LITTLE BEASTS:
Highlights of a new survey by the American Animal Hospital Association …
• 93% of pet owners claim they’d be willing to risk their own life for their pet’s.
• 82% of owners think of their pet ‘more than once’ while away from home during the day.
• 64% of owners believe their pet would come to their rescue if they were in distress.
• 50% would pick a dog or cat as a companion rather than a human if stranded on a deserted island.
– “Sacramento Bee”

BS FROM AROUND-THE-WORLD:
• In his career so far, Spanish matador ‘Michelito’ has been awarded 106 ears and 7 tails,  considered trophies for fighting a bull well. He plies his trade in Latin America because he’s too young for Spain’s minimum working age of 16. In fact, he’s only 10-years-old and began following in his bullfighting father’s footsteps at the tender age of 5. (This kid apparently has no problem picking on someone TEN TIMES his own size.)
– “Times of London”
• A man in Parma, Italy is suing his wife for circa $275,000, claiming her constant nagging has left him … impotent. The browbeaten hubby has even introduced medical evidence in court that backs his claim that his wife’s harping causes him so much stress it has left him ‘unable to be a man’. (This is one case where even if you win … you’re gonna lose.)
– Ananova News
•  A device attached to surfboards to repel sharks and protect surfers from being attacked has failed a test-run off South Africa because it was devoured by … a Great White Shark. The Australian-made ‘Shark Shield’ is designed to emit an electric field to deter sharks from approaching. Sea trials have now been suspended while the developers regroup. (And try to find another willing surfer.)
– “The Australian”

TIME LAPSE:
It’s true: time really does seem to slow down in situations causing us to panic, such as car accidents. It’s a memory trick of the brain that causes emotional experiences to be recorded in more detail. For instance, test subjects taking a 100-ft plunge into a net estimate the time taken is 36% longer than when they watch someone else do it. (And they go through 100% more underwear.)
– “Psychology Today”

GEEZER CENTRAL:
Canada’s workforce is increasingly going grey. According to newly-released data, the median age of the country’s workers is now over 41. The occupation with the highest median age is farming at 51.9 years, slightly higher than real estate agents & sales reps at 50.7. StatsCan also reveals that a high proportion of bus drivers and other transit workers are now 55 or older. Other fields dominated by older workers include senior managers, religious ministers, school principals, and university professors. (And how about senators?)
– AHN

THE EMPEROR’S NEW PHONE:
A groundbreaking new device could make it possible to hold a phone conversation … without saying a word. Ambient Corporation’s new ‘Audeo’ system reads brain signals and then transmits them to a gizmo that converts them into audible speech, even if the user is silent. Inventor Michael Callahan claims he made the first-ever ‘voiceless phone call’ in the past week. (But then … how do we really know?)
– “Social Studies”

DID YOU KNOW?
• More than with any other room, remodeling a bathroom can increase your home’s resale value. In fact, stats show a moderate-sized bathroom remodel brings an average 102% return on the investment. (Keep that in mind when you’re humping out that ancient 500-lb claw-foot tub.)
– National Association of Realtors
• Moviegoers around-the-world spent $26.7 billion on tickets LAST YEAR, according to the Motion Picture Association of America. (And that doesn’t even include the overpriced popcorn!)
– “Variety”
• The beer industry accounts for more than 200,000 jobs and adds $2 billion-a-year to Canada’s Gross Domestic Product. (Drink beer – it’s patriotic!)
– “Harrowsmith’s Truly Canadian Almanac 2008“

FOR THE RECORD:
At just 2-inches-long, the Swiss-made ‘MiniGun’ is exactly that … the ‘World’s Smallest Gun’. It fires 2.34-mm bullets at a speed of up to 300 mph. It’s being marketed as a collectors’ item … at over $6,000 a (tiny) pop.
– “GQ”

BS CHRONOMETER 03.07.08

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1964 [44] Wanda Sykes, Portsmouth VA, stand-up comedian/TV actress (‘Barb’ on “The New Adventures of Old Christine” since 2006)/movie actress (“Evan Almighty”, “Over the Hedge”)

1971 [37] Rachel Weisz, London UK, movie actress (Oscar-“The Constant Gardener”, “The Mummy”)

1973 [35] Sebastien Izambard, Paris, France, pop singer (Il Divo-“All By Myself”, “Unbreak My Heart”)

1974 [34] Jenna Fischer, Fort Wayne IN, TV actress (‘Pam Beesly’ on “The Office” since 2005)/movie actress (“Blades of Glory”)

SATURDAY –
Movie actor Freddie Prinze Jr (“She’s All That”) is 32; UK pop singer Tom Chaplin (Keane) is 29; Rock guitarist/keyboardist Andy Ross (OK Go) is 29.

SUNDAY –
TV anchor Charles Gibson (“ABC Evening News”) is 65; Barbie (famous doll) is 49; TV personality Ben Mulroney (“Canadian Idol”) is 32; Rapper Chingy (“Pullin’ Me Back”) is 28; Movie actor/rapper Bow Wow (“The Fast & the Furious: Tokyo Drift”) is 21.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Cereal Day”, a day to share in the delights of crunchy ‘n crispy breakfast cereals. If you invented your own breakfast cereal, what would be in it? You can name it by selecting options from 4 categories in the ‘Cereal Name Creator’ right here …
NET: http://www.lavasurfer.com/cereal-creator.html
• “Employee Appreciation Day”. Just to show how much you’re appreciated … you can stay late today.
• “Frozen Dead Guy Days” winter festival weekend in Nederland CO, the 7th annual celebration of Grandpa Bredo Morstoel, who died in 1989, was frozen by his grandson, and stored in a shed. Huh?
PHONER: 720.374.6742
NET: http://www.nederlandchamber.org/FrozenDeadGuyDays
• “Healthy Office Day”, focusing on the many types of pollutants that effect office workers: environmental, equipment or stress-related. (Not to mention co-worker-related.)
• “Nenana Ice Classic”, the 92nd annual in Nenana, Alaska where they erect a 26-foot wooden tripod on the frozen Tanana River. Since 1917, when the first tripod was built by bored engineers, people have been betting on the day & date of the spring breakup. Because of the high stakes ($800 in 1917, now over $300,000), the ice is closely watched by lottery participants. LAST YEAR the ice broke on APRIL 27th at precisely 3:47 pm.
PHONER: 907.832.5446
NET: http://www.nenanaakiceclassic.com/
• “Stop Bad Service Day”, honoring companies that foster loyalty by providing top-notch service. Ask listeners for stories of unusual and exceptional customer service. If it turns out to involve a station sponsor … all the better!
• “World’s Largest Rattlesnake Round-Up”, the 50th annual weekend celebration in Sweetwater TX, with live rattlesnakes on display, snake-meat to eat, snake products for sale, a parade, a cook-off, and the ‘Miss Snake Charmer Pageant’ … as well as lots of snake herding, of course.
PHONER: 915.235.5488
NET: http://www.rattlesnakeroundup.net/main/modules/page/

SATURDAY –
• “Aunts Day”, recognizing ‘those special people who make long-lasting impressions throughout our lives’. (Another Hallmark moment.)
• “International Women’s Day”, kicking off “Universal Women’s Week”, which honors all women, especially working women. It was first proclaimed at a 1910 women’s conference in Helsinki, Finland by activist Clara Zetkin. In 1977, the observance was endorsed by the UN and is a national holiday in China and Russia, where female workers are presented with gifts. TODAY in Russia, women drivers will be given flowers instead of fines for minor traffic offences.
NET: http://www.internationalwomensday.com
The 2008 International Women’s Day theme in Canada is “Strong Women, Strong World” …
NET: http://www.swc-cfc.gc.ca/dates/iwd/index_e.html
• “Tim Hortons Brier”, the 79th Canadian Men’s Curling Championship through MARCH 16 at the MTS Centre in Winnipeg.
NET: http://www.seasonofchampions.ca/2008brier/index.asp
The final is on CBC but CurlTV will webcast a number of games online throughout the week ….
NET: http://www.curltv.com

SUNDAY –
• “Amerigo Vespucci Day” [vehs-POOCH-ee’], commemorating the Italian’s 1451 birth in Florence. He’s the marginally-successful explorer that a European mapmaker chose as namesake for the ‘New World’, as in ‘North Amerigo’. Had he chosen the last name ‘Vespucci’ instead, things would have sounded a lot different!
• “Daylight Saving Time” in North America begins at 2 am. LAST YEAR the annual ‘Spring Forward’ was moved forward from early APRIL in an attempt to save energy.
• “Go Commando Day”, a tongue-in-cheek observance when we’re encouraged to forego wearing underwear. Perhaps created by some laundry-challenged single guy out of necessity?
• “Panic Day”, when you’re encouraged to run around all day telling people you just can’t handle it anymore. In other words … just a regular day.
• “St Frances of Rome Day”, the patron saint of motorists and housewives, who is said to have never argued with her husband in 40 years of marriage. Wow, that woman really was a saint!

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1996 [12] 20th Century Fox sues an Australian brewery for distributing ‘Duff Beer’, stealing the name from the brand favored by ‘Homer’ on “The Simpsons”

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1987 [21] “Licensed to Ill” by the Beastie Boys becomes the 1st rap album to hit #1

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1876 [132] Alexander Graham Bell patents the ‘Telephone’, and 3 days later makes the 1st phone call (unfortunately he’s redirected to voicemail)

1911 [97] 1st ‘Coin-Operated Locker’, invented by Willis Farnsworth of Petaluma CA (thereby giving movie bad-guys a place to stash their loot)

COMING UP . . .
[Mon] 2008 Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Indiction (NYC)
[Mon] Salvation Army Day
[Mon] Osama Bin Laden birthday
[Mon] Commonwealth Day
[Mon] Mario Day
[Tues] Worship of Tools Day
[Tues] Organize Your Home Office Day
[Tues] “Gene Simmons Family Jewels” 3rd season debut (A&E)
This Week Is … Cheerleading Week
This Month Is … Listening Awareness Month

BULL’S BITS

SEXIEST JOBS 2008:
According to a new online poll, these are the occupations currently perceived to have the most ‘sex appeal’ …
10. Soldier
9. Cowboy
8. Surgeon
7. Pilot
6. Photographer
5. Nurse
4. Bartender
3. CEO
2. Personal Trainer
1. Firefighter (3rd year-in-a-row at #1)
– Salary.com

BS PHONE STARTER:
Which NYC socialite/cougar TV show should survive, “Lipstick Jungle” or “Cashmere Mafia”?

BS TOP SWAPS:
The week’s most requested music files online …
5. Sean Kingston – “Take You There”
4. Alicia Keys – “No One”
3. Fergie – “Clumsy”
2. Chris Brown – “With You”
1. Flo Rida (f/T-Pain – “Low”
– Big Champagne Online Music Measurement

BS RANDOM JOKE:
‘Working at home’ sounds way better than ‘took the day off’.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: According to a recent survey, almost half of all women say they would describe their man with THIS word.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: ‘Messy’.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Virtue is its own punishment.