Friday, March 7, 2025 – Edition: #7909
You’re Fulla Sheet!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Netflix is getting back in the ring. Katie Taylor and Amanda Serrano will square off against each other in a rematch — part of a historic trilogy between the two – on July 11, live on the streamer. This comes after Taylor defeated Serrano as part of Netflix’s first-ever boxing card, just before the Jake Paul vs. Mike Tyson fight last year. Taylor and Serrano will headline an all-women’s boxing at Madison Square Garden. The duo’s previous Netflix fight was called the most-watched professional women’s sports event in US, history, with 74 million live viewers globally.
-Deadline
★ Millie Bobby Brown isn’t really Millie Bobby Brown. The actress revealed her real name is Millie ‘Bonnie’ Brown during an interview with BuzzFeed UK published Thursday. While talking to her “Electric State” co-star Chris Pratt, Brown explained that she changed her middle name from Bonnie to Bobby for…’you-know-whats’ “and giggles” when she started acting. She continued, saying: “I’ve never told anyone that. You heard it here first!” As for where ‘Bobby’ came from, Brown was seemingly was paying tribute to her father, Robert “Bobby” Brown. And that’s not the only name change the “Stranger Things” star has made. Last August, she confirmed she had adopted her husband Jake Bongiovi‘s last name, after they tied the knot earlier in the year.
-PageSix
★ Michelle Trachtenberg’s boyfriend, Jay Cohen, and her producing partner, Casey Tebo, are determined to turn her final script into a finished film in the wake of her shocking death. The filmmaker, who directed “Black Friday” starring Devon Sawa and Bruce Campbell, wrote in a post on X shortly after her passing on Feb. 26 that Trachtenberg had penned “one of the best screenplays I’ve ever read.” An adaptation of Jerry Oppenheimer’s 2009 biography “Toy Monster,” Trachtenberg’s screenplay centers on the life of playboy Jack Ryan, who quit his job at the Pentagon designing missiles to work as Mattel’s chief engineer. Tebo said that he and Cohen plan to make the movie to honor Trachtenberg “if it’s the last movie Jay and I ever make.”
-NYPost
★ Tom Llamas, who left a prominent anchor-in-waiting role at ABC News for one at NBC in 2021, is no longer standing in line. Llamas will take over as anchor of “NBC Nightly News” after Lester Holt steps down in early summer. Llamas, who has been hosting an early-evening program on the NBC News Now live-streaming service, will continue to do so, meaning that each weeknight, he’ll lead “Nightly” from 6:30-7pm, and immediately move to the hour of his streaming program, “Top Story.”
-Variety
★ The History Channel is doubling down on stars. It has ordered a slew of new series featuring the likes of David Duchovny, Henry Winkler and Ving Rhames. This is on top of a new show with “American Pickers’” Mike Wolfe and a documentary from LeBron James. “Secrets Declassified with David Duchovny” is hosted by “The X-Files” star and will reveal the latest evidence behind some of the government’s most secretive activities. The 10-part series will premiere April 4. “Hazardous History with Henry Winkler” is hosted by the “Happy Days” star, and covers the dangerous pastimes, practices and products you would never see today but were once a part of everyday Americana.
-Deadline
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” (ABC/Global): TBA
• “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Simu Liu, Floyd Mayweather, Jason Isbell (R)
• “The Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): TBA
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Bill Murray, Mikey Madison, James Anderson (R)
• “After Midnight” (CBS/Global): Josh Sharp, Aaron Jackson, Monét X Change, Clifton Davis, Karla Mosley (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Natalie Suleman
• “Today” (NBC): Stephanie Oppenheim, Keith Morrison, Joy Bauer, Regina Hall co-hosts
• “GMA3” (ABC): Lady Gaga, a performance by the cast of Broadway’s “Buena Vista Social Club”;
• “Live With Kelly and Mark” (ABC/CTV): Brian Tyree Henry, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, O.A.R.
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): 1000th episode celebration; Kevin Hart, Josh Groban
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Carrie Underwood, Lionel Richie, Luke Bryan
• “The Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Nicole Avant, Dr. Cheri Mah
• “NCIS: Sydney” (CBS): When a petty officer is found murdered and frozen, it leads the team into a twisted underworld of seafood and sex trafficking.
• “Happy’s Place” (NBC): When Steve drops his favorite pen down a crack in the bar, Bobbie decides to pry the bar open to find it, discovering a very valuable bottle of whiskey.
• “Fire Country” (CBS): The station 42 crew makes a wellness check at the home of a hoarder, and it escalates into a full-blown house fire; Vince and Sharon are forced to face his father’s cognitive troubles.
SATURDAY:
• “I Was Octomom: The Natalie Suleman Story” (Life): Premiere. In 2009 Natalie Suleman gives birth to 8 children, only to have her life torn apart and her identity rebranded by the media. She does whatever it takes to keep her family together.
• “I Am Raquel Welch” (CW): Celebrating the trailblazing actress and single mother who redefined the Hollywood sex symbol, and led the way for modern-day action heroines.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Lady Gaga hosts and performs
SUNDAY:
• “American Idol” (ABC): Season 23 premiere: Auditions
• “The $100,000 Pyramid” (ABC): Season 8 premiere. Mark Duplass vs. Pete Holmes and Laverne Cox vs. Thomas Lennon
• “Tracker” (CBS): Colter is hired to find a mother in Ohio who went missing after tucking her son in for the night.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Chappell Roan — After multiple teases involving imaginary law firms and plumbing companies, fake billboards and phony hotline numbers, she has finally announced that her new song ‘The Giver’ will drop March 13. In an Instagram post, she called the tune “My take on country.” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/3eenrtpz
• Drake – has settled his legal dispute with iHeartMedia over Kendrick Lamar’s diss track ‘Not Like Us’ after the company claimed it “did nothing wrong.” Drake had alleged iHeartMedia received illegal payments from Universal Music Group to boost radio airplay for “Not Like Us.” UMG is the parent record label for both Drake and Lamar. The company says no payments were made in the settlement.
• Pink Floyd — shared a new 4K trailer for the upcoming “Pink Floyd at Pompeii – MCMLXXII”, which hits theaters April 24. The 1972 film has been digitally re-mastered in 4K, with enhanced audio. The soundtrack will be released as a full-length live vinyl record for the first time, and will also be available on CD/Blu-ray/DVD/Digital Audio and Dolby Atmos on May 2. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/5n8pmxxy
• Rod Stewart and Keith Richards — are both grandfathers again. Stewart’s son Liam has just welcomed his second child with wife Nicole, named Elsie Skylar Stewart. Meanwhile, Richards became a grandfather for the 7th time when his daughter Alexandr welcomed her second child with husband Jacques Naudé on Feb. 17. The baby boy’s name is Elvis Nova Naudé.
• Mick Fleetwood – He and Grateful Dead‘s Bob Weir have both added items to the Help on the Way benefit auction for LA fire relief. Fleetwood contributed a Gibson Les Paul, which he signed along with John Mayer, Zac Brown, Wynonna Judd and others, while Weir offered up a signed photo and print. Other items were donated by Dave Matthews, The Police‘s Stewart Copeland, Metallica, and more. LINK: www.Fandiem.com .
• Post Malone – in some cities, he’ll be hosting the “Travelin’ Tailgate”, a free parking lot party before his “Big A** Stadium Tour” dates. Fans will be treated to a DJ, live music from local bands, food, beer, merch, games and photo ops – and ink from Posty’s personal tattoo artists. LINK: https://www.postmalone.com/tailgate/
• Jelly Roll – is thrilled that he’ll be American Idol‘s first “artist-in-residence” when the show returns for its new season on Sunday. In fact, if he has his way, he’ll also be the last. Speaking to “ET”, Jelly said: “What I want to do is get a permanent artist-in-residency there. That’s my dream right now…American Idol signs a lifelong contract for Jelly Roll to be the mentor artist-in-residence.”
• Morgan Wallen – has had a drink named after him at Eric Chirch’s bar “Chief’s on Broadway”, just a few months after settling his felony charges for throwing a chair from the 6th floor of the Nashville establishment. The new drink, “The Chair” features raspberry vodka, raspberry liqueur, lemonade and a splash of soda. A mini folding chair comes as a topper. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/ycyva7cj
SHOOTING THE BULL
NEW MOVIES THIS WEEK:
• “Mickey 17” (R, Adventure/Sci-Fi): Mickey 17, known as an “expendable,” goes on a dangerous journey to colonize an ice planet. (Robert Pattinson, Steven Yeun, Michael Monroe) Toni Collette) Tomatometer: 87%
• “In the Lost Lands”: (R, Action/Fantasy): A desperate queen sends sorceress Gray Alys to the ghostly Lost Lands in search of a magical power, where the sorceress and her guide must outwit and outfight man and demon. (Milla Jovovich, Dave Bautista, Arly Jover) No Tomatometer rating
• “Night of the Zoopocalypse” (PG, Animation/Comedy): When a meteor unleashes a virus turning zoo animals into zombies, a wolf and mountain lion team up with other survivors to save the zoo and stop the mutant leader. (David Harbour, Scott Thompson, Paul Sun-Hyung Lee) No Tomatometer rating
• “Queen of the Ring” (PG-13, Biography/Sport): A true-life tale that follows Mildred Burke, the legendary professional wrestler and single mom who defied incredible odds to become the first million-dollar female athlete at a time when the sport was banned. (Emily Bett Rickards, Josh Lucas, Tyler Posey) Tomatometer: 93%
WEEKEND PLANS:
⇒ Kraft Heinz, the famous ketchup and bologna maker, is dipping its toe into booze. The packaged-food giant is rolling out its first alcohol product for grocery stores, a new hard seltzer infused with Crystal Light, its powdered mix that is usually added to water. The “vodka refreshers” – available in lemonade and wild strawberry flavors — will make their debut this month. The new products are part of an effort to modernize the 40-year-old Crystal Light brand, and reach younger consumers. Company execs said they seized on the idea after realizing that consumers already mix Crystal Light with booze. (I think they missed a golden opportunity to name the new drinks: “Crystal Light-headed”!)
⇒ A UK woman who recently celebrated her 106th birthday says the secret of her long life is…chocolate. Edith Hill only moved to a care home 6 years ago after turning 100, and she said her daily dose of chocolate keeps her feeling young and healthy. Her favourite chocolate bar is Cadbury Dairy Milk, but she’s good with giving any sweet treat a try. The retired secretary was born March 3, 1919, and she has survived 2 world wars – and has seen 5 monarchs and 23 prime ministers in her lifetime. When asked the secret of her longevity, she replied: “It’s being independent, eating lots of chocolate and partying.” (If I live that long, I hope I’m as sweet as Edith… and as full of chocolate!)
-WSJ, Talker
NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ A court in India has ruled in favor of a moviegoer who sued a theater, saying it played too many ads before the film, which delayed the movie start time — and messed up his whole day. The theater was ordered to pay the plaintiff $320 in damages. In 2023, Abhishekh M.R. paid US $10 for 3 tickets to see a war drama at a PVR movie theater. The movie, which was scheduled to begin at 4:05pm, was delayed for nearly half an hour because the theater played “trailers, advertisements and other fillers.” That caused him to miss “other arrangements and appointments”, resulting in losses “which cannot be calculated in terms of money as a compensation,” the moviegoer claimed. His demands included $60 for “mental agony”. (He could have got twice that if it was a Nicholas Cage movie!)
➢ Police are asking for help from the public after religious paintings, including one that read “Thou shalt not steal” were stolen from a church in the U.K. The 3 paintings were taken from St. Andrew’s Church in Little Steeping. The exact value of these paintings, all housed in heavy wooden frames, is unknown, but they hold “sentimental value” to the church, police said. Notably, one of the stolen paintings illustrates the 10 commandments, which includes the command “Thou shalt not steal.” (Someone didn’t read the fine print!)
-NBC, CTV
FUNNIEST TWEETS OF THE WEEK FROM WOMEN:
⇒ The easiest way to find out if a movie is on Netflix is to simply ask yourself “do I want to see it?” If you do, it’s not on Netflix.
⇒ I am one pocket caught on a door handle away from a complete meltdown — kjybecauseisaidso
⇒ Square dancing in elementary school really had me expecting more hoedowns as an adult – TracieBreaux
⇒ As a woman who’s dated 26-year-old men, I cannot support Luigi Mangione getting tried as an adult – Ginny Hogan
⇒ My phone just filmed a two-hour documentary about life inside my pocket. — Dzintra
⇒ i would do anything to cure my digestive issues except stop drinking coffee or change my dietary habits in any way – bald ann dowd
⇒ May you have the confidence of the driver who arrives last at a 4-way stop and just decides to go for it — meghan
-HuffPost
DID YOU KNOW?
Hasbro has announced a new version of the Monopoly game, that goes full 2020s: The new version, named “Monopoly App Banking”, replaces the role of the banker and paper money with a mobile app that keeps track of every player’s money and properties. While the new Monopoly, available this August, may speed up the notoriously slow gameplay, and require you to do less math, it also means more screen time during board games — and makes it much harder to cheat. (As long as I can still throw my kids in jail…I’m good!) LINK: https://tinyurl.com/mrytf22c
-MorningBrew
BS CHRONOMETER 03.07.25
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Friday Fish Fry Day”, on the first Friday of Lent, when family and friends gather for fish frys at restaurants and bars. It is celebrated in the US Midwest, as well as other places around the world. The day was created by Caleb Westphal, who had eaten over 370 consecutive Friday night fish frys at the time of the holiday’s first celebration. (It’s also a song – by The Wiggles!) https://tinyurl.com/1cgektu0
• “Middle Name Pride Day”, today’s name celebration requires honesty and possibly some courage. Tell your middle name to 3 people who don’t already know it (Who you are sure you can trust…)
FAMOUS PEOPLE’S WEIRD MIDDLE NAMES:
☞ Richard Tiffany Gere
☞ Daniel Wroughten Craig
☞ Drew Allison Carey
☞ Quincy Delight Jones
☞ Kiefer William Frederick Dempsey George Rufus Sutherland
• “Dress in Blue Day”, to raise awareness about colon cancer, to celebrate survivors, and to help patients in need during “Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month”.
• “Be Heard Day”, for entrepreneurs, small business owners, and solo professionals to find their voice, tell their story, and be heard (If you want to be seen, stand up. If you want to be heard, speak up…and if you want to be appreciated, shut up!)
• “Cereal Day”, to share in the delights of crunchy n’ crispy breakfast cereals. Celebrated on the anniversary of the world’s first corn flakes being served to Dr John Kellogg’s sanitarium patients in Battle Creek, Michigan, in 1897. LINK: http://www.lavasurfer.com/cereal-guide.html
• “Flapjack Day”. Today, breakfast just keeps on getting better! This day honors the sturdy, wholesome cakes that were a staple of pioneers pursuing new lives on the frontier. Packed with nutrients and energy, they provided the fuel needed to withstand the often-arduous trails. (Fine. Just pass me the syrup…and the whipped cream!)
• “Crown Roast of Pork Day”. It earns its name when a pork loin is formed into a circle with the ribs pointing upwards, forming the points of a crown. Often, they are held together with twine. It is then seasoned, and often stuffed, roasted and served, making a beautiful table centerpiece. The ends of the bones may be given a paper frill treatment for added decoration.
• “Employee Appreciation Day”, when employers are encouraged to express gratitude to employees who make that extra effort. (…by allowing you to keep your job for another day…)
• “Day of Unplugging”, a day to pledge you’ll spend time with real people and detach yourself from all electronic gadgets. The ‘day’ runs from sundown tonight to sundown tomorrow. LINK: http://nationaldayofunplugging.com/about-us/
• “Plant Power Day”, aiming to “take plants off the sidelines and make them the headliner of any meal.” Plant-based foods and drinks are encouraged to be placed first on menus today, becoming the main part of meals. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/2f8reawx
SATURDAY:
• “International Women’s Day”, first suggested at a 1910 women’s conference in Copenhagen by activist Clara Zetkin. The first “IWD” was observed in Germany the next year. This year’s hashtag is #AccelerateAction. LINK: http://www.internationalwomensday.com
• “Genealogy Day”, highlighting the study of ancestry and family histories. Got any deadwood in your family tree? LINK: http://www.searchforancestors.com/surnames/origin/
• “Proofreading Day”, to promote accuracy in written messages. If you hate typos and grammatical errors, thIs iZ yer dayb (What grammatical error drives you bonkers? When someone uses an apostrophe to mean plural, it makes me want to bite a wall…)
• “Be Nasty Day”. If ever there was a holiday or observance to NOT participate in, it’s Be Nasty Day! On this day, we all have an excuse to be rude, mean, spiteful, or difficult to be around. (It isn’t known who created this, but what a nasty thing to do!)
• “Girls Write Now Day”, celebrating girls and girl writers, and encouraging girls of all ages everywhere to “put pen to paper and explore the beauty and power of their unique, creative voices.”
• “Fanny Pack Day”, Don’t. Just…don’t.
SUNDAY:
• “Daylight Saving Time”, in North America and many countries around the world, begins at 2am. The annual ‘Spring Forward’ is now usually programmed right into computers, phones, and other electronic devices. Also today: “Check Your Batteries Day”, when you should test and/or replace smoke alarm batteries. (And remember, it’s ‘Daylight Saving Time’, not ‘Savings’!)
• “Barbie Day”, the anniversary of the day the world’s most successful doll was unveiled in 1959 at NYC’s “International Toy Fair”. Since then, more than 1 billion Barbies have been sold in over 150 countries. (And I heard something about a movie, as well…)
• “Get Over It Day”. Whatever it is that’s put that chip on your shoulder – a perceived slight, a public embarrassment, a failed relationship, today’s the day to get over it, and get on with your life. (And DO NOT let your next sentence start with, “I would, if only…”)
• “Crabmeat Day”, saluting the seafood we love. How can such an ugly creature taste so good?
• “Meatball Day”. It’s not clear how it started, but who could resist the idea of celebrating National Meatball Day? (I don’t know about you, but I’m celebrating the movie “Meatballs”!)
• “Panic Day”, encouraging you to indulge all of your deepest fears and let loose a rampage of unbridled hysteria. Tearing out one’s hair, shrieking like a banshee, and sobbing uncontrollably are encouraged. So, go ahead, push the panic button! (Celebrated in some areas as “Mother-in-law is Coming to Visit Day…”)
• “Amerigo Vespucci Day” [‘vuhs-POOCH-ee’], commemorating the Italian’s 1454 birth in Florence. He’s the marginally-successful explorer who a European mapmaker chose as namesake for the ‘New World’, as in ‘North Amerigo’.
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1946 [79] Peter Wolf (Blankfield), The Bronx NY, rock singer (J. Geils Band-‘Centerfold’, ‘Freeze Frame’)
1956 [69] Bryan Cranston, Canoga Park CA, TV actor (“Breaking Bad” 2008-13, “Malcolm in the Middle” 2000-06)/movie actor (“The Lincoln Lawyer”, “Argo”) COMING UP… “The Phoenician Scheme” 2025
1964 [61] Wanda Sykes, Portsmouth VA, comedian-TV actress (“Black-ish, 2015-20, “Curb Your Enthusiasm” 2001-11)/movie actress (“Evan Almighty”)
1970 [55] Rachel Weisz, London England, movie actress (“Black Widow”, “The Bourne Legacy”, Oscar-“The Constant Gardener”)/TV actress (“Dead Ringers” 2023)/married to Daniel Craig since 2011
1971 [54] Peter Sarsgaard, Scott Air Force Base IL, movie actor (“The Batman”, “Jarhead”)/married to Maggie Gyllenhaal since 2009. COMING UP… “The Bride” 2025
1973 [52] Jay Duplass, New Orleans LA, TV actor (“Transparent” 2014-17, “The Mindy Project” 2012-17)
1974 [51] Tobias Menzies, London England, TV actor (‘Prince Philip’ on “The Crown” 2019-20, “Outlander” 2014-2018, “Game of Thrones” 2013-2019)
1974 [51] Jenna Fischer, Fort Wayne IN, TV actress (“The Office” 2005-13)/movie actress (“Hall Pass”, “Mean Girls”)/podcast host (“Office Ladies”)
1975 [50] TJ Thyne, Boston MA, TV actor (‘Dr Jack Hodgins’ on “Bones” 2005-2017)
1980 [45] Laura Prepon, Watchung NJ, TV actress (‘Alex Vause’ on “Orange Is the New Black” 2013-19, “That ’70s Show” 1998-2006, “That 90s Show” 2023-24)/movie actress (“The Girl on the Train”)
SATURDAY- Micky Dolenz (The Monkees) is 80; Gary Numan (‘Cars’) is 67; Aidan Quinn (“Elementary”) is 66; Lester Holt (“Dateline NBC”) is 66; Camryn Manheim (“Law & Order”) is 64; Freddie Prinze Jr. (“Scooby-Doo”) is 49; James Van Der Beek (“Dawson’s Creek”) is 48; Kat Von D (“LA Ink”) is 43; Benny Blanco (ft. Halsey and Khalid-‘Eastside’) is 37
SUNDAY- Steve Wilkos (“The Steve Wilkos Show”) is 61; Shannon Leto (30 Seconds to Mars) is 55; Ben Mulroney (“eTalk”) is 49; Oscar Isaac (“Star Wars” films) is 46; Matthew Gray Gubler (“Criminal Minds”) is 45; Chingy (‘Right Thurr’) is 45; Brittany Snow (“Pitch Perfect” movies) is 39; Bow Wow (‘Shortie Like Mine’) is 38; Khaby Lame (most-followed TikTok’er) is 25
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2010 [15] Kathryn Bigelow (“The Hurt Locker”) becomes the first female director to win an Oscar.
2011 [14] Charlie Sheen is fired from the CBS sitcom “Two and a Half Men” following a series of clashes with the show’s co-creator Chuck Lorre.
2021 [04] During Oprah Winfrey’s CBS interview with Harry and Meghan, Duke and Duchess of Sussex, Meaghan alleges she was made suicidal and subject to racist treatment by the palace.
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1985 [40] ‘We are the World’ by USA for Africa is released. Written by Lionel Richie and Michael Jackson, it was recorded to help battle famine in Africa by a stunning list of stars, including Bruce Springsteen, Bob Dylan, Ray Charles, Tina Turner, Stevie Wonder, Paul Simon, Willie Nelson, and many more.
1987 [38] “Licensed to Ill” by Beastie Boys becomes the first rap album to top the US chart. It stays at #1 for 7 weeks.
2015 [10] Drake places 14 songs in the Billboard Hot 100, thanks to the release of his mixtape “If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late” (The Beatles are the only other act to accomplish this, in 1964). Morgan Wallen would land 36 songs on the chart dated March 18, 2023.
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2007 [18] A British movie theater allows a patron to propose to his girlfriend with a 3-minute video inserted among the trailers before the main feature (unfortunately, she was at the snack bar . . . just kidding!).
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ The ‘bobsled’ was so named because early racers bobbed their heads back and forth to gain speed (It didn’t work).
✓ It would take less than 6 months to get to the Moon by car at 60mph (95km/h).
✓ Mickey Mouse’s dog “Pluto” was named after the planet, not the other way around.
✓ ‘Mulan’ has the highest kill count of any Disney character, including villains.
✓ Even though smoking is banned there, ashtrays are mandatory on every plane. This is for safe disposal in case someone breaks the law.
✓ When you have to make a choice, and every choice is a bad one, it’s called a “zugzwang”.
-TheFactSite, BathroomReadersInstitute
Best of BS . . .
BS QUESTIONS YOUR SMARTER SELF WOULD ASK:
• Who cares what the square root of anything is?
• Why are kernel and colonel pronounced exactly the same?
• Why didn’t I major in Engineering instead of 18th Century Romance Literature?
• What the heck does ‘fleek’ mean?
• Did you really think that wasn’t going to happen?
• If McDonalds sold Mac and Cheese, would it be called ‘McMac and Cheese’?
• Why don’t I just have one particular spot to put my wallet and keys every day?
• Realistically, is vodka going to help this?
• I know where your car is. Do you, dude?
• New phone, whom is this?
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2018
TODAY’S SCOOP OF BS:
➠ Tuesday was the first day of Mardi Gras — and I’m celebrating. (As always, I’ll lose control and do things I’ll regret tomorrow, trading my dignity for a few small trinkets. Then when I’m done doing this show, I’ll go and celebrate Mardi Gras!)
➠ The US State of the Union Address took place Tuesday night. That’s the one day of the year presidents are supposed to brag about their accomplishments. Trump trained for this moment his whole life!)
➠ A survey says that 15% of people have cooked in the nude. (Unfortunately, most of them work at Chipotle…!)
➠ In China, an experimental self-driving Tesla committed 7 traffic violations during a test drive. (In other words, it just passed its California driving test!)
➠ Fact of the Day: The oldest human being in the world is Sister Inah Canabarro Lucas, a 116-year-old nun from Brazil. (even though her Tinder profile has her listed as 46…)
BS WEB GOODIE:
Swinging into Friday like: https://tinyurl.com/52zafucr
BS RANDOM JOKE:
You’re not a parent until you’ve secretly wished your child’s sports team does bad in a tournament so you can just go home…
☎ BS PHONE STARTER:
Delete one vegetable. Go!
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
45% of people admit they have done this kinda gross thing at least once in the past year. What is it?
Answer: Pee in the shower
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Happiness is a gift, and the trick is not to expect it, but to delight in it when it comes.
