Thursday, March 24, 2022 – Edition: #7195
We Give a Sheet!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Miley Cyrus is safe after her plane was struck by lightning and forced to make an emergency landing. She had performed in South America, and was traveling to a music festival in Paraguay Tuesday when the plane was rerouted to safety. As a result, she was forced to cancel the festival appearance. She wrote on Insta that her “crew, band, friends and family who were all traveling with me are safe after an emergency landing.” Cyrus also shared a video from the scary flight, including lightning flashing and those aboard gasping. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/5asmm3wk
-Yahoo
★ Amanda Bynes can now make personal and financial decisions on her own after a judge officially put an end to her 9-year conservatorship. The judge issued a tentative ruling on Monday, saying the conservatorship is “no longer required”, and on Tuesday it was made official at a hearing. The former child star filed the docs in February, asking for her mother to no longer serve as conservator. The arrangement was first put in place in 2013, when Bynes was experiencing personal difficulties.
-TMZ
★ John Travolta has been an accomplished airplane pilot for decades, and the “Pulp Fiction” star just upped his credentials. In a 15-second video posted to Instagram, he said: “So a very proud moment in my aviation history. To add to my 747 and 707 licenses, I just received my 737 license, and it went very well, so just sharing my moment with you.” Tragically, a Boeing 737 is the type of plane that crashed in China on Monday, just hours after Travolta shared his post. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/46uw3umt
-Yahoo
★ “And Just Like That,” the show that caused the internet to explode in conversation each week, has been renewed for a second season by HBO Max. Casey Bloys, the chief content officer for HBO and HBO Max, said that “And Just Like that” has been the streamer’s most successful original series to date. The renewal announcement also confirmed the returns of Sarah Jessica Parker, Cynthia Nixon and Kristin Davis.
-Variety
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Gwen Stefani, Jude Hill, Wilderado
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Ethan Hawke, Yard Act
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Sandra Bullock, Billy Strings (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Amy Poehler, Jeffrey Wright, Carter McLean (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Ike Barinholtz, Chloe Kim, Parcels (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Judy Greer, Paul Feig
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Regina Hall
• “The Talk” (CBS): Dominic Cooper, guest co-hosts Fran Drescher & George Wallace
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Simone Ashley
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Channing Tatum
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Daniel Radcliffe, Youn Yuh-Jung, Nicole Remy
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Amy Schumer, Violet Young, Olivia Rodrigo
• “Atlanta” (FX): Season 3 premiere. Revisiting a troubled kid 50 years later.
• “Masterchef” (FOX): Junior Edition: Taste It, Make It
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Taylor Swift – revealed that she’s written and recorded the song ‘Caroline’ for the Reese Witherspoon-produced film “Where the Crawdads Sing.” Swift posted: “Where The Crawdads Sing is a book I got absolutely lost in when I read it years ago”. The film is set for release in July.
• Beyoncé and Billie Eilish — will both be singing at Sunday’s Oscars ceremony. Bey, nominated for ‘Be Alive’ from the film “King Richard,” is rumored to be planning a performance from a from a tennis court in Compton. Eilish will sing the theme from “No Time to Die” with Finneas. Reba McEntire will also perform.
• Måneskin – Have announced 48 additional dates across North America and Europe. Their “Loud Kids” tour has been expanded to include the band’s first North American headline tour starting Oct. 31 in Seattle, plus additions to their rescheduled European indoor shows.
• Dave Grohl – is dropping a metal record as “Dream Widow”. The Foo Fighters recently released the horror flick “Studio 666”, in which it is “revealed” a fictional band by the name Dream Widow recorded a “lost” album at the same haunted mansion the Foos were recording in. Both frontmen become possessed and lash out at their bandmates. The “lost” LP will be released digitally tomorrow.
• Joan Jett & the Blackhearts – will release the all-acoustic album “Changeup” tomorrow. It features 25 stripped-down arrangements, some of them classic Jett hits like ‘Bad Reputation’, ‘Cherry Bomb’ and ‘Crimson & Clover’, plus the new single ‘(I’m Gonna) Run Away’. They’re touring this summer with Mötley Crüe, Def Leppard and Poison. LINK: https://youtu.be/x4eRrIlqgp8
• 2022 CMT Music Awards — Co-host Kelsea Ballerini, leading nominee Kane Brown, and Cody Johnson are among the first round of performers announced for the April 11 ceremony. Also on the list: Miranda Lambert, Little Big Town, Maren Morris and Ryan Hurd, Carly Pearce, Cole Swindell with Lainey Wilson and Keith Urban. It will air live from Nashville on CBS.
• Vince Gill – has announced his return to touring this summer. He has 18 dates scheduled beginning July 7 in Greensboro NS, marking his first time on the road with his band since 2019. Featured will be vocalist Wendy Moten, who most recently became known for her performances on “The Voice”.
• Dolly Parton — will star in a film based on her new novel “Run, Rose, Run.” The movie will be produced by Reese Witherspoon. It is a personal story set in Nashville about a young woman who comes to country music’s capital to pursue her music-making. No release date has been announced.
SHOOTING THE BULL
HACKIVISM:
In the early days of the Russian invasion, Ukraine asked for a volunteer “IT army” to fight on the digital frontline, and apparently, about 400,000 have answered the call. In late Feb., Ukraine’s Vice Prime Minister and the Minister of Digital Transformation posted a message in English on Twitter asking for hackers and programmers to sign up to help carry out cyberattacks against Russia. And The Wall Street Journal is reporting there have been a number of publicized cyberattacks against the country so far, though it’s difficult to know who’s behind them, and whether they are affiliated with the so-called “IT Army.” One rattack, reportedly carried out by the hacking collective Anonymous, involved broadcasting footage of the war on Russia’s state TV and the country’s equivalent of Netflix. Others are conducting DDoS attacks, which involve overwhelming and disrupting a network by flooding it with traffic. But, of course, 2 can play at that game, and Ukraine has also been the victim of cyberattacks. And with other countries possibly on the hit list of Russian hackers, The White House has issued a warning and fact sheet to help keep US organizations safe.
(You don’t want to get caught hacking Russian computer systems. You’ll get sent to Cyberberia!)
(If they want to disrupt computer systems, they should just let my (grand)father sit down in front of one for a while!)
-IFLScience, WallStreetJournal
SLEEP TECHNIQUE:
The best way to get a good night’s sleep is to do this: Snuggle up under a cozy blanket in a quiet, cool room, and be in bed by 9:30pm. That’s according to a survey of 2,000 people. Conducted by OnePoll for Serta Simmons Bedding, the survey asked about key factors to achieving great sleep. Those also include sleeping with 2 pillows on a medium-support mattress, and a comfortably cool room. Sleeping in a silent room was preferred by 31%, and 72% said having “some” light on contributes to “excellent” sleep — especially for boomers. Keeping a comfy blanket nearby year-round (66%) along with leaving at least an hour between their last meal and going to bed also makes for good sleep (61%). On average, people said they go to sleep at 10pm, but those who say they have “excellent” sleep prefer to hit the hay earlier, at 9:39pm, on average. Just 2 in 5 said they would rate their quality of sleep as “excellent”. And just a third of adults feel refreshed when waking up in the morning (30%).
(The only way I’m gonna be sleeping by 10pm is if I get to the 19th hole by 6:00, and everyone else hit a hole-in-one!)
(I’m so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed! Sorry…)
-StudyFinds
LIBRARY FINE:
A library in Maine is asking for books that no one else wants. And by that, they mean books that have been banned, “canceled” or fallen out of favor elsewhere. One volunteer at the tiny library on Matinicus Island said: “We are buying banned books in order to publicly push back against the impetus to ban books…saying ‘If you don’t want it in your library, we want it in ours.’” For years, islanders just traded books among themselves, but decided to create a grassroots library in 2016 in a donated storage shed. As the library grew, the island started to become the bookish equivalent of the “Island of Misfit Toys,” in the Christmas classic, “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.” Patrons from the community of 100 borrow books using the honor system. And the emphasis on banned books isn’t a big deal on Matinicus, the state’s most remote and isolated community. Some recent acquisitions include “And Tango Makes Three,” the story of 2 male penguins that raised a chick together, and the classics “To Kill a Mockingbird”, “The Handmaid’s Tale” and “The Grapes of Wrath”.
(Would they be interested in Snooki’s memoir? It’s not banned, but nobody wants it!)
(It’s a top-shelf idea!)
-AP
WEIRDER AWARDS:
With the 94th Oscar’s ceremony set for Sunday, and the Grammys next weekend, here are some real, but, ummm…lesser-known awards…
⇒ Ig Nobel Prize: You’ve heard of this one. An imitation of Nobel Prizes, the Ig Nobels are awarded for top achievements that “first make people laugh, and then make them think”. One was given for research on “Sword Swallowing and Its Side Effects,” which concluded one result could be “sore throats”.
⇒ Darwin Awards: Named after the naturalist Charles Darwin, these are given since the 1980s to those who die in the most idiotic ways. The awards even became a subject of the film: “The Darwin Awards”.
⇒ Shorty Awards: These are given for the best one-liners on Twitter or best producers of short and weird content across social media. The first award ceremony took place in 2008.
⇒ The Ernie Awards: Initiated in Australia, the Ernie is presented to individuals and companies who make sexist remarks. The award is named after former Australian Workers Union secretary, Ernie Ecob, who was known for his sexist remarks.
⇒ The Foot In Mouth Award: Awarded by British Plain English Campaign, it goes to public figures who make a mysterious comment. Ex-US President, George W. Bush was honoured for “I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe – I believe what I believe is right.” (He actually came up with better ones than that!)
⇒ The Stella Awards: It is granted to those who file dubious lawsuits to earn quick bucks. The award has attracted attention to the most absurd and egregious examples of people abusing the legal system.
⇒The Pigasus Award: Presented to the worst of those who claim to have special psychic, magic, or paranormal abilities. Noted magician James Randi presents the Pigasus. He doesn’t officially give the award, saying if winners don’t receive their trophy, it must be due to a “lack of paranormal talent” on their part.
(And don’t even get me STARTED on The Razzies!)
-IndiaToday
DID YOU KNOW?
A New Zealand couple thought they had found the world’s largest potato, but DNA testing has proven otherwise. After Colin and Donna Craig-Brown submitted a giant spud they discovered and named “Doug” to Guinness, they were informed their root vegetable isn’t a potato, after all. Colin, who found it on his farm, says tests determined that Doug is a gourd. The current Guinness World Record for heaviest potato is 10 lb, 14 oz. Doug came in a just over 17 pounds. Despite the disappointing news, the couple still keep Doug in their freezer. Colin quote: “I say ‘gidday’ to him every time I pull out some sausages. He’s a cool character.”
-AP
BS CHRONOMETER 03.24.22
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Chocolate Covered Raisins Day”, celebrating the treat that lives in the hearts of theatergoers the world over, and masquerades as a healthy addition to trail mix. (We’re not celebrating the kind you find in your kid’s bunny cage…)
• “National Cheesesteak Day”, if you’ve never had one, you should know that you can really only get an authentic one in Philadelphia. Other places try, but Philly is the real deal. The roll is filled with chipped steak, and you can order it with or without cheese and onions.
• “National Cocktail Day”, cocktails are drinks typically comprised of wine or a distilled beverage (such as whiskey, brandy, vodka, rum, or tequila) and mixed with other tasty ingredients such as cream, soda, liqueurs, fruit, juices, honey, beer, etc. (and if you don’t drink, celebrate the movie instead!)
• “International Day for Achievers”, honoring those who have achieved something in any field. It is a day to recognize those who have set goals and displayed determination and confidence on their journey to achieve them. (What’s YOUR greatest achievement? BESIDES your kids?)
• “World Tuberculosis Day”, to build public awareness that TB remains an epidemic in much of the world, causing the deaths of about 1.6 million each year, mostly in Third World nations.
COMING UP . . .
[Fri] International Waffle Day
[Fri] Pecan Day
[Sat] Legal Assistants Day
[Sat] Solitude Day
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1951 [71] Tommy Hilfiger, Elmira NY, fashion designer (“Tommy Hilfiger”, “Tommy Girl”)
1970 [52] Lara Flynn Boyle, Davenport IA, TV actress (‘Donna Hayward’ in “Twin Peaks” 1990-91, “The Practice” 1997-2003)/movie actress (“Wayne’s World”)
1973 [49] Jim Parsons, Houston TX, TV actor (‘Sheldon Cooper’ on “The Big Bang Theory” 2007-19) COMING UP…”Spoiler Alert”
1974 [48] Alyson Hannigan, Washington DC, TV actress (‘Lily Aldrin’ on “How I Met Your Mother” 2005-14, “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” 1997-2003)/movie actress (“American Pie” movies) COMING UP…”Dodie & Cheryl Get Hitched”
1976 [46] Peyton Manning, New Orleans LA, retired NFL QB (Indianapolis Colts 1998-2011, Denver Broncos 2012-15)/2 Super Bowls with 2 teams)/5-time MVP/14-time Pro Bowl selection
1977 [45] Jessica Chastain, Sacramento CA, movie actress (“Interstellar”, “Zero Dark Thirty”) COMING UP…”The Good Nurse”, 2022
1978 [44] Amir Arison, St Louis MO, TV actor (‘Aram Mojtabai’ on “The Blacklist” since 2013)
1986 [36] [Valentin] ‘Val’ Chmerkovskiy, Odessa Ukraine, pro dancer (“Dancing with the Stars” 2011-21)
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2002 [20] Halle Berry (“Monster’s Ball”) & Denzel Washington (“Training Day”) take home the top acting Oscars at the Academy Awards. Berry becomes the only Black woman to have won the award
2005 [17] The US version of “The Office,” created by Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant, starring Steve Carell and John Krasinski, premieres on NBC
2016 [06] Comedian, actor, screenwriter Garry Shandling (“The Larry Sanders Show”) dies at age 66
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2000 [22] Elton John’s “Aida” opens on Broadway (21 days to write the music, 5 years to develop the stage production)
2001 [21] The segment of Highway 19 running through Macon GA is renamed “Duane Allman Boulevard”, in remembrance of the Allman Bros guitarist who died in a motorcycle crash near there 3 decades earlier
TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
2015 [07] HJ Heinz Co and Kraft Foods Group merge to form the 3rd-largest global food company, Kraft Heinz Co
2019 [03] 2-time American League MVP Mike Trout signs the biggest contract in North American sports history, a $426.5 million, 12-year extension with the LA Angels (still the largest baseball contract)
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ In a day, your brain uses the amount of energy contained in 2 large bananas.
✓ Windmills always turn counter-clockwise. Except for the windmills in Ireland.
✓ An elephant’s tooth can weigh as much as 12 pounds (5.4kg).
✓ Coconuts kill more people than sharks do.
✓ Approximately one-third of people can’t snap their fingers.
✓ Queen Elizabeth II has a rubber duck in her private bath, which wears an inflatable crown.
-RandomFactGenerator, BathroomReadersInstitute
Best of BS . . .
BS SIGNS YOU HAD A BAD SPRING BREAK:
• You used an entire box of condoms and never slept with anyone.
• During the 17-hour car trip, your friends insisted on playing their entire collection of karaoke music.
• Next month you have to go back for ‘sentencing’.
• You first learned that jet skis have no brakes when you smashed into the pier.
• You stayed on campus to take advantage of short cafeteria lines.
• The clinic says your Spring Break ‘souvenir’ will only go away with penicillin.
• Three words — pasty white thighs.
• You studied a lot.
• You can actually REMEMBER Spring Break.
-First published in BS in 2000
BS YOU KNOW IT’S TIME TO DIET WHEN …
• You dance and it makes the band skip.
• You are diagnosed with flesh-eating disease, and the doctor gives you 22 more years to live.
• You put mayonnaise on aspirin.
• You go to the zoo and the elephants throw you peanuts.
• Your driver’s license says, “Picture continued on other side.”
• You run away and they have to use all 4 sides of the milk carton for your picture.
• You learn you were born with a silver shovel in your mouth.
• Your blood type is ‘Ragu’.
-First published in BS in 2012
BS WEB GOODIE:
I’m not sure what he did there – and neither is she: https://tinyurl.com/37zhu3xc
BS RANDOM JOKE:
Saying “I just cleared out some space in the freezer” sounds so much more productive than “I just polished off another pint of ice cream”.
BS PHONE STARTER:
What song would be played on a loop in your personal hell?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: In 20% of homes, THIS doesn’t work, and those who live there have no desire to fix it. What is it?
Answer: The doorbell
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The quality of advice anyone has to offer should be judged against the quality of life they actually lead.
