March 15 2022

Tuesday, March 15, 2022 – Edition: #7188

Sheet Happens!


BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:

★ Elon Musk has challenged Russian President Vladimir Putin to a fight, with the “stakes” being Ukraine. With Putin’s name written in Russian and the word “Ukraine” written in Ukrainian, the Tesla chief exec tweeted: “I hereby challenge (Vladimir Putin) to single combat. Stakes are (Ukraine).” In a follow-up tweet, Musk tagged the Kremlin, and asked in Russian: “Do you agree to this fight?” Musk’s challenge to Putin is one of several posts he has shared on the war in Ukraine, including one in which he offered his “sympathies to the great people of Russia, who do not want this” war.
-Yahoo
★ Pete Davidson is officially taking off. He’s now got a launch date for the next manned flight that Jeff Bezos sends up. Yesterday, it was announced that Davidson will join 5 others on the forthcoming mission, which is scheduled to hit the skies and beyond on March 23 (next Wednesday), launching in West Texas. It’ll be Blue Origin’s fourth human flight. Davidson will be joined by Party America CEO Marty Allen, hubby and wife duo Sharon and Marc Hagle, entrepreneur Jim Kitchen and Commercial Space Technologies Prez Dr. George Nield.
-TMZ
★ A British father who nearly threw out a rare Harry Potter first edition has sold it at auction in the UK for the equivalent of US $90,000. He pre-ordered the first edition of JK Rowling’s “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone” from a bookstore in 1997 for $17.00, but almost returned it because it came without a dust jacket. The man, a collector, said: “Being the first edition, I expected it to have one”, but he decided to hang onto the book on the toss of a coin, which he calls “a moment of destiny.” He later found out the hardback first issues of “Philosopher’s Stone” (called “Sorcerer’s Stone” in the US) did not come with a dust cover.
-Insider
★ Host Rebel Wilson opened the U.K.’s BAFTA film awards by making jokes about her recent weight loss, James Bond, the pandemic, and J.K. Rowling’s controversial statements about the transgender community. She took to the stage in a sparkly red gown, explaining that she “might look a bit different” from the last time the audience had seen her, because “since then I’ve done quite a transformation — I hope J.K. Rowling still approves.” Wilson, who shed more than 70 pounds (31kg) after kicking off her self-proclaimed “year of health” in 2020, also joked that her slim-down would help her out in Hollywood, saying “Now I can play the non-funny love interest in an Adam Sandler film.”
-Yahoo

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Kristen Stewart, Jake Johnson, Tinashe
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Seth Meyers, Camille Cottin, Lil Durk
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Kid Cudi, Quinta Brunson, Rhys Darby, Larnell Lewis
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): James Marsden, Gayle
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Seth Meyers, guest co-host Alyssa Farah Griffin
• “The Talk” (CBS): Octavia Spencer
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Kevin Hart, Kelsea Ballerini, Freestyle Love Supreme
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Jason Sudeikis, Kane Brown featuring blackbear (R)
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Renée Zellweger, Judy Greer, Bobby Moynihan, Bryan Adams
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Eric Stonestreet
• “The Bachelor” (ABC): Season 26 finale
• “Young Rock” (NBC): Season 2 premiere
• “Mr. Mayor” (NBC): Season 2 premiere
• “Street Outlaws: America’s List” (DSC): Season 2 premiere
• “Fixer to Fabulous: Welcome Inn” (TLC): Series premiere. Dave and Jenny purchase a historic 1800s home with dreams of creating a one-of-a-kind B&B, but demolition reveals major construction issues and a bee infestation that makes them realize their dream comes at an enormous cost.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Katy Perry — has won her ‘Dark Horse’ plagiarism case. It was initially ruled that she would have to fork out $550,000 and her label owed nearly $1.3 million after a jury found parts of her 2014 #1 song resembled Flame’s 2008 song ‘Joyful Noise’. Now, a federal court judge has ruled that she did not plagiarize Flume’s song.
• Drake – is teasing a series of “highly interactive” concerts in New York and Toronto. He indicated the shows will be unlike anything he’s ever done before, and he’s very “excited” by the concept. But fans will have to wait for more info on the shows — which will be Drake’s first headline appearances since 2019.
• Hall & Oates — Daryl Hall says he was asked to join Van Halen following the departure of David Lee Roth in the 1980s. In an interview, he said that when Eddie Van Halen asked him, “he was half joking, but I think he was serious”. Hall, who said he declined, also claimed that Van Halen’s iconic keyboard hook in ‘Jump’ was inspired by Hall & Oates’ hit ‘Kiss on My List’.
• Kiss – former members Ace Frehley and Peter Criss will perform together at this year’s Creatures Fest, taking place May 27-29 in Nashville. Former Kiss guitarists Bruce Kulick and Vinnie Vincent are also scheduled to perform, meaning all 4 living, former group members will be there.
• Sheryl Crow – A trailer has been released for the documentary about her life and career. “Sheryl” will debut on Showtime May 6. In addition to archival footage, it features interviews with collaborators and friends, including Keith Richards, Laura Dern, Joe Walsh, Emmylou Harris and Brandi Carlile. A soundtrack will also be released. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/3emp4zvv
• Miranda Lambert – has announced her next album “Palomino” will drop April 29. The 15-song tracklist contains a mix of cover songs, re-recorded songs and guest stars, plus new songs.
• Kelsea Ballerini – had a great week. In addition to sitting at #1 with Kenny Chesney with their collab ‘Half of my Hometown’, and performing at the 57th ACM Awards with Dolly Parton, it was also announced that she will be back to co-host the CMT Music Awards on April 11th, on CBS.
• Alan Jackson – has announced he is taking a victory lap. His “Last Call: One More for the Round Tour” will kick-off June 24, in Biloxi MS, and the 16-city trek will conclude in Pittsburg Oct. 8. It is his first tour since publicizing his diagnosis of Charcot- Marie-Tooth disorder, a degenerative nerve condition.

SHOOTING THE BULL

NICE LID:
With the problem of plastic pollution being labelled a catastrophic environmental concern, burger chain A&W Canada is testing something that might help. This month, A&W is piloting the “ButterflyCup”. The ButterflyCup is made entirely from thick, biodegradable cardboard, overcoming the need for a lid or lining. The user simply “creates” a lid by making 2 simple folds. It is constructed with natural paper sourced from forests certified as sustainable. And even if improperly disposed of as litter, the cup biodegrades naturally, a vast improvement over the traditional throwaway cups used by fast food restaurants and coffee shops, which usually aren’t accepted by recyclers because of the plastic coating. The cups are labelled: “No lid. No plastic. No problem.”
(Then you stick a plastic straw in there?)
(Great idea. Why didn’t someone think of this in about 1940?)
-TorStar

HICCUP UPDATE:
Hiccups. Everyone has a cure, and some of them might even work. CNN recently asked its online audience to submit their best hiccup cures, and had a team of experts determine if science backs them up. Here are some highlights . . .
• Suggestion: Breath tricks such as taking a deep breath while titling your head back, exhaling until you can’t any longer, or holding your breath and gulping.
• Answer:  These are scientific. Intense breathing involves activity of the diaphragm, which may ‘trick’ it into no longer spasming.
• Suggestion: Sipping water while bent over, or while plugging ears, or from the wrong side of the glass.
• Answer:  Any time drinking water is involved, it may help. Swallowing triggers the vagus nerve, which is connected to hiccups. Plugging ears can also help, believe it or not…
• Suggestion: Eating a spoonful of sugar or peanut butter, or sucking on a lemon slice.
• Answer: These can help. Citrus or acidic things also activate the vagus nerve. And sugar and peanut butter take effort to go down, which activates the swallowing muscles, and the good ole vagus nerve.
• Suggestion: Thinking about cows, naming men you know who are bald, or scaring the victim.
• Answer: Distraction can help. You guessed it – being scared can trigger the vagus nerve, and those other methods can put concentration elsewhere, thus “resetting” the urge to hiccup.
OTHER ODD SUGGESTIONS:
• Find a partner and extend your index fingers toward each other at a distance of 6 inches. Move fingers toward each other as slowly as possible (good – it’s a distraction)
• Sticking a cotton swab of KY Jelly up your nose or down your throat and twirling (maybe, could reduce irritation)
• Tip your head back, relaxing your jaw. Let your tongue fall back and breathe through your nose. Hold for about a minute (Could work, but also could be a choking hazard)
(And remember: If your hiccups last more than 2 days, see a doctor – and don’t go to church!)
-CNN

DRESSING UP:
I’ve heard of custom-made wedding ringS – but never like this. Hidden Valley has created a manmade diamond out of its famous ranch dressing, and the novelty jewel is now up for sale on eBay. The Chicago-based condiment company says the 2-carat cut diamond took 5 months to make. After news came out that a Hidden Ranch custom Valentine’s Day bottle was used in a marriage proposal, the company was inspired to seek the help of a geologist to make the diamond. He came up with the plan to heat the dry ranch seasoning to 2,500 degrees Fahrenheit (1,371°C), transforming it to graphite, which was placed into a diamond press to create the ranch diamond. The jewel was then polished to perfection and set in a white-gold band with the initials HVR LVR — for “Hidden Valley Ranch Lover” — engraved on the side. More than 75 bids had been placed on the “Carats and Ranch Timeless Collection” at last check, with the so-far winning bid at more than $12,000. The auction ends on Thursday, just in time for someone to pop the question to their ranch-loving lover on National Proposal Day (Sunday). Money raised goes to Feeding America. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/2afkr4vv
(I knew that stuff was worth its weight in gold – but I had no idea it was also worth its weight in diamonds!)
(I guess if the bride accepts, she’ll want to get married in a “dressing gown”?)
-NYPost

UNPOPULAR TRAVEL OPINIONS:
With many people traveling this week for March break (or planning to travel soon…), here are some “unpopular” travel opinions. Which do you agree with?
⇒ The day before a vacation is better than the vacation itself.  (That sweet moment of realizing that vacation begins tomorrow is worth savoring. But that “last day of vacation” feeling? Ouch!)
⇒ There is no point in being first to board a plane. Priority boarding is useless. (Would you rather sit in the waiting area or stand in a long line to finally sit in a tiny airplane seat for even longer?)
⇒ There should be a dedicated section on the plane for families with children. (Probably near the bathroom…)
⇒ Plane seats should NOT be reclinable. (Yes, some find it more comfortable, but it’s not for the person behind. If you’re really tired, you’ll be able to sleep in the upright position.)
⇒ There’s no point in standing up on the plane as soon as it lands. (Why block the aisles for 15 mins., while you can go nowhere?)
⇒ I think clapping when a plane lands is sweet. (Airline staff work a stressful job, have to deal with some awful people, and having the passengers all come together to say ‘well done’ after the flight is a nice way of saying thanks.)
⇒ If an Airbnb has a cleaning fee, I shouldn’t be expected to leave it spotless. (I am paying for it to be cleaned after I leave. So I should be able to leave it in the same manner I would a hotel room.)
⇒ Solo vacations are much more enjoyable than vacations with others. (You avoid that clash of “Where do we go?” and What do we do?” next. You simply have to worry about yourself and do what you want to do…and eat where you want to eat!)
-BuzzFeed

DID YOU KNOW?
Rents in Manhattan, New York City have once again hit record highs, after cratering during the pandemic. The median monthly rent for a Manhattan apartment was a record $3,700 in February. That was up 24% from a year ago and up an unusually large 4.2% from January, according to a report from brokerage Douglas Elliman and appraisal firm Miller Samuel. Why the spike? Demand is surging for rental apartments, which means the “pandemic pricing” deals offered a year or two ago have now been replaced by bidding wars. (And you should see what they’re paying to park!)
-CNN

BS CHRONOMETER 03.15.22

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Ides of March”, marking the date of the assassination of Julius Caesar in 44 BC, which was a turning point in Roman history. It’s also the tongue-in-cheek observance “National Brutus Day”, recognizing the fact that no matter where you work, there’s as much backstabbing, plotting, and intrigue as there was in ancient Rome. The word ‘ides’ simply means ‘middle’. There’s nothing unlucky about it … unless you’re Caesar.
• “International Day Against Police Brutality”, begun in 1997 as an initiative of the Montréal-based “Collective Opposed to Police Brutality” and the “Black Flag” group in Switzerland.
• “True Confessions Day”, They say confession is good for the soul, so go ahead and spill (***open up the ‘Morning Crew Confessional’ where anonymous callers shed their guilt by admitting their outrageous actions. You can even assign penance! – See “BS Phone Starter”, below***)
• “World Consumer Rights Day”, initiated by Consumers International to promote the basic rights of all consumers, and to demand that those rights are respected and protected.
• “World Contact Day”, first declared March 15, 1953 by the “International Flying Saucer Bureau”. Today, UFO contact groups unite to collectively try to make peaceful contact with extraterrestrial beings. (Hello? Anybody there?)
• “Dumbstruck Day”, when someone is dumbstruck, they are so shocked and surprised that they can’t speak. People may be dumbstruck after hearing shocking, amazingly good or amazingly bad news.

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Everything You Do is Right Day
[Wed] Lips Appreciation Day
[Thurs] St. Patrick’s Day
[Thurs] Corned Beef and Cabbage Day

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1935 [87] Judd Hirsch, The Bronx NY, TV actor (“Taxi” 1978-1983, “Numb3rs” 2005-10)

1943 [79] David Cronenberg, Toronto ON, filmmaker (director/writer of “The Fly”, director of “A History of Violence”)/Order of Canada, 2002/Canada’s Walk of Fame, 1999

1953 [69] Frances Conroy, Monroe GA, TV actress (“American Horror Story” since 2011, “Six Feet Under” 2001-05)/movie actress (“Joker”)

1955 [67] Dee Snider, Astoria NY, rock singer (Twisted Sister-‘We’re Not Gonna Take It’)/reality TV personality (“Celebrity Apprentice” 2012)

1963 [59] Bret Michaels, Butler PA, rock singer (Poison-‘Every Rose Has Its Thorn’)/reality TV personality (“Celebrity Apprentice” 2010, 2013, “Rock of Love With Bret Michaels” 2007-09)

1968 [54] Mark McGrath, Hartford CT, pop singer (Sugar Ray-‘Fly’, ‘When It’s Over’)/TV host (“Extra” 2004-08, “Don’t Forget the Lyrics!” 2010), reality TV personality (“Celebrity Big Brother” 2018)

1972 [50] Mark Hoppus, Ridgecrest CA, rock bassist-singer (Blink 182-‘All the Small Things’, ‘I Miss You’)

1975 [47] Eva Longoria, Corpus Christi TX, TV actress (“Telenovela” 2015, “Desperate Housewives” 2004-12)

1975 [47] will.i.am [William Adams Jr], LA CA, rapper/music producer (Black Eyed Peas-‘I Gotta Feeling’, ‘My Humps’)

1985 [37] Kellan Lutz, Dickinson ND, movie actor (“The Legend of Hercules”, “Twilight” movies)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2017 [05] Disney refuses to cut a gay moment in film “Beauty and the Beast” for Malaysian censors, and instead pulls the film from distribution

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2004 [18] Bob Seger, George Harrison, ZZ Top, Jackson Browne, Prince, Traffic and The Dells are inducted into The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

2010 [12] ABBA, Jimmy Cliff, Genesis, The Hollies, and The Stooges are inducted at the 25th Annual Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony

2019 [03] Sam Smith says he is nonbinary, telling interviewer Jameela Jamil, “I am not male or female. I think I float somewhere in between.”

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1985 [37] The first Internet domain name, symbolics.com is registered

2002 [20] Liverpool UK international air terminal is re-branded Liverpool John Lennon Airport as Yoko Ono unveils a 7-ft bronze statue of Lennon overlooking the check-in hall

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2010 [12] Sony announces the ‘Biggest Recording Deal in History’, worth more than $250 million, with the estate of Michael Jackson (10 album projects over 7 years, including one of previously unreleased material)

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ Though not commonly used, the day after tomorrow is called “overmorrow.”
✓ After beekeepers in France once noticed their bees were producing honey in unusual shades of green and blue, they discovered the bees had been eating remnants of M&M candy shells from a nearby factory.
✓ The Atlantic Ocean is saltier than the Pacific Ocean.
✓ People who get their news from Twitter are more educated than those who get their news from Facebook.
✓ The closest relative to bears are seals.
✓ Your lips don’t touch when you say ‘touch,’ but they do when you say ‘apart.’
-WhattheFFacts, FactRetriever

Best of BS . . .
BS TIPS ON WINNING YOUR OFFICE MARCH MADNESS POOL:
• Confirm with Siri that basketball is the game with the orange-y ball.
• Pick the team with the tallest players.
• Find out which star players have the least amount of homework due this month.
• Determine which coaches best implement the free-labor model.
• Pick the meanest-looking mascots.
• Don’t pick Michigan.
• Remember that the shot clock is longer in college basketball than it is in the NBA so high-tempo teams can be forced to play out of their element by an opposing coach with a disciplined strategy. Then flip a coin.
–first published in BS in 2017

BS BAD THINGS TO HEAR DURING SURGERY:

• “Hand me that… uh… that uh… that thingy there.”
• “I hate it when they’re missing stuff in here.”
• “Bo! Bo! Come back with that. Bad dog!”
• “Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived from 500 ml of this stuff before?”
• “Ya know, there’s big money in kidneys, and this guy’s got two of ’em.”
• “Could you stop that thing from beating? It’s throwing off my concentration.”
• “Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.”
• “Sterile schmerile. The floor’s clean, right?”
• “OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.”
• “This patient has already has some kids, am I correct?”
• “Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy.”
-Ahajokes, first published in BS in 2019

BS WEB GOODIE:
The Gas Price Blues? (sound up):   https://tinyurl.com/2p9e4pne

BS RANDOM JOKE:
True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

BS PHONE STARTER:

Today is “True Confessions Day” What would you like to get off your chest?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  In a survey, 62% of parents said it is easier to do THIS with a girl than with a boy. What is it?
Answer:  Name them

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
In a gentle way, you can shake the world.

 

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