Wednesday, March 1, 2006 Edition: #3229
This is Where March Comes In Like a Bull!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY-Saturday is “Canadian Music Week 2006″ in Toronto, now in its 24th year and billing itself as an ‘international’ event, with artists representing 6 other countries among the 400-plus acts performing at various venues (NET: http://www.cmw.net/cmw2006/index.asp) . . .
TODAY on “The Tyra Banks Show”, talk show host Tyra goes ‘undercover’ as a stripper to ‘examine why men like seeing girls take their clothes off’ (it’s scientific research, nothing to do with ratings at all) . . . TONIGHT “America=s Next Top Model 6″ debuts, expected to be one of the anchor shows for the new CW network . . . Pamela Anderson has been announced as host of the “2006 Juno Awards” APRIL 2 in Halifax, and she’s promising it will be ‘one kick-ass’ show (a good excuse for a new large-screen TV) . . . Meantime, Pamela Anderson is said to be dating Formula One racer Eddie Irvine (the proof – he hasn’t quit grinning for 2 weeks now) . . . “Brokeback Mountain” is now rated the 1-to-4 favorite to win ‘Best Picture’ at the Oscars by betting site PinnacleSports.com . . . Master P has been ordered to stand trial in Los Angeles on a gun charge (no wonder he lost on “Dancing with the Stars” – ever try to dance while packing a Glock?) . . . “Fear Factor” has been yanked from NBC-TV’s schedule at least until summer and may be cancelled altogether (Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches will be thrilled!) . . . Word has it Vince Vaughn has stormed out on girlfriend Jennifer Aniston after she informed him she’s having second thoughts about their relationship (if true, it sure is good publicity for the JUNE 2nd opening of the movie in which they met – “The Break-Up”) . . . Could anything else go wrong for jinxed ‘James Bond’ star Daniel Craig? The most recent mess-ups – the traditional Aston Martin spy car had to be converted to automatic transmission so Craig can drive, and he’s now suffering from a nasty outbreak of ‘prickly heat’ caused by sunburn after filming on “Casino Royale” moved to the Bahamas (just what is this guy licensed to do?).
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Big & Rich – TONIGHT they guest on the “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson”.
• Dwight Yoakam – TONIGHT he appears on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• Mariah Carey – Oh no, she’d gonna try again! She’ll attempt to resurrect her movie career in the upcoming drama “Tennessee”, playing a waitress who sets off with 2 brothers to find their estranged father. Shooting is due to start in New Mexico and Tennessee THIS SPRING.
• Rolling Stones – They’ve announced their first-ever concert in China, at Shanghai’s Grand Stage Stadium APRIL 8.
STRANGE COMPANY:
Given a choice between a night out with good friends or an evening with strangers, most people would choose their friends, right? Well, according to a new University of Pennsylvania study, you might have a better time if you choose to make new acquaintances. In experiments, participants who spent time with strangers reported having a more positive experience than those who hand-picked buddies to accompany them. Both groups, however, recorded far more enjoyment than those who spent time by themselves. (No wonder [co-host] hangs out in bars trying to pick up strangers.)
– “Psychology Today”
FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
The things we do; the stuff we think …
• 87% of us admit to having a problem with getting to work on time.
• 73% of those with ‘business’ e-mail accounts also use them to receive personal messages.
• 60% of men admit that they spit in public.
• 25% of all ice cream sales are vanilla.
• 15% of single people have ended a relationship by text message.
YOU GET WHAT YOU EAT:
According to research at a hospital in Belgium, you can influence the sex of your baby just by eating specific foods. The study shows a steady diet of fruits and veggies will give you a good chance of producing a bouncing baby boy. (For a girl, try sugar and spice …)
– “Nature”
SHE SAID IT:
“I would love to say I worked really hard and really deserved it … but I don’t at all.”
– Oscar-nominee Keira Knightley, one actress who speaks the honest truth.
ROCKET FUEL IN A TUMBLER:
A Scottish distillery is reviving a centuries-old recipe for whisky that’s so strong a 17th-century writer warned more than 2 spoonfuls might kill you. The Bruichladdich (pronounced ‘brook-LAD-dee’) Distillery on the Isle of Islay, off Scotland’s west coast, is producing the quadruple-distilled, 184-proof – or 92% alcohol – spirit ‘purely for fun’. Regular Scotch is 40-to-60% alcoholic content. Plans are to make about 5,000 bottles of the stuff which will sell for about $60 each.
You can place your order now, but you’ll need to be patient – it won’t be ready to drink for at least 10 years. (In the meantime, enjoy some isopropyl on the rocks to train your liver.)
– AP
BS BUZZWORDS:
New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Hedonic Treadmill’ – The tendency for our wants to rise at the same rate as our income, resulting in no net gain in satisfaction. In other words – you make more, you want more.
• ‘Starter Castle’ (aka ‘McMansion‘) – A nickname for the over-sized homes that are becoming increasingly popular in suburbia. Problem is, after buying one, many are too cash-poor to furnish their monster home.
• ‘Victimless Meat’ – Beef, chicken or fish grown from a tissue culture in the laboratory that could one day make its way into kitchens. Then what would PETA protest?
GOOD NEWS FOR THE NEARSIGHTED:
University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center ophthalmologists have developed a new type of implanted lens to fix nearsightedness. THIS WEEK Dr Wayne Bowmanhas has begun inserting the new ‘Implantable Collamer Lens’ (or ‘ICL’) in patients for the first time. He describes it as a sort of contact lens inside the eye. (Cool, that way you can’t lose ‘em!)
– ANI
DID YOU KNOW?
Airlines lose about 10,000 bags per day. LAST YEAR, airlines lost 1 million more pieces of luggage than the year before.
ON SECOND THOUGHT, HOLD THE ICE:
12-year-old Jasmine Roberts from Benito Middle School in Tampa FL has created a science fair project that has a lot of grown-ups sitting up and taking notice. Her conclusion: The ice used in some fast-food restaurants is laced with bacteria … lots of it! In fact, when she examined the amount of bacteria in the ice served at a selection of locations and the amount of bacteria in the toilet bowl water in those same restaurants, the toilet bowl water was cleaner 70% of the time! (Somehow warm Coke just became more appealing.)
– CNN / Tampa Bay Online
THE BULL SHEET 03.01.2K6
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1944 [62] Roger Daltrey, London UK, classic rock singer (The Who-“Who Are You” [theme from “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation”], “Won’t Get Fooled Again” [theme from “CSI: Miami”], “Baba O’Riley” [theme from “CSI: NY”])
1947 [59] Alan Thicke, Kirkland Lake ON, TV actor (“Growing Pains” 1985-92)
1954 [52] Ron Howard, Duncan OK, movie director (“Cinderella Man”, Oscar-“A Beautiful Mind”)/movie producer (“Curious George”)/former TV actor (‘Opie’-“Andy Griffith Show”, ‘Ritchie’-“Happy Days”) COMING UP: “The Da Vinci Code”, opening MAY 19.
1967 [39] George Eads, Fort Worth TX, TV actor (‘Nick Stokes’ on “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation” since 2000)
1973 [33] Ryan Peake, Brooks AB, rock guitarist (Nickelback-“Animals”, “Photograph”)
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Ash Wednesday”, marking the beginning of the Christian observance of “Lent”, the 40-day period before “Easter” (not counting Sundays). In Orthodox churches, this season is called the “Great Lent” and it begins on “Clean Monday”.
• “Chalanda Marz” in Switzerland, when they drive away winter by ringing bells and cracking whips. Let’s try that and see if it works! [SFX].
• “Peace Corps Day”, commemorating the 45th anniversary of its founding by President John F Kennedy.
NET: http://www.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=resources.anniversary
• “Peanut Butter Lover’s Day”, a good day to have phone contestants try a tongue twister with a mouthful of smooth or crunchy. A few tongue twasters to twy …
• ‘A box of biscuits, a batch of mixed biscuits.’
• ‘Nine nimble noblemen nimbly nibbling nuts.’
• ‘Is this your sister’s sixth zither, sir?’
• ‘I’m not the fig plucker nor the fig plucker’s son, but I’ll pluck the figs till the fig plucker comes.’
• ‘The sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick’. (Said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.)
• “Pig Day”, honoring the ‘most intelligent and useful of domesticated animals’. Studies show pigs are much smarter than horses … but harder to ride.
• “RSP Deadline” if you want a deduction on your 2005 income tax. (So be sure to call your investment office this afternoon at about 4:59 pm.)
• “Share a Smile Day”. If for no other reason, it’ll make everyone wonder what you’ve been doing.
• “St David’s Day” in Wales. The Welsh celebrate their patron saint by taking a leek … and wearing it.
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1941 [65] 1st commercial ‘FM radio station’ goes on-the-air (W47NV in Nashville TN, which must have had really complicated jingles)
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1995 [11] Sheryl Crow wins ‘Record of the Year’ at the “Grammy Awards” for “All I Wanna Do”
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1969 [37] Prince Charles officially invested ‘Prince of Wales’ (starting to seem like it’s a lifetime appointment, isn’t it?)
1937 [69] 1st ‘Automobile License Plates’ issued, in Connecticut
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1949 [57] Team Canada beats Denmark 47-0 in international hockey (them was the days!)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] Salespersons Day
[Fri] I Want You To Be Happy Day
[Sat] International Scrapbooking Day
[Sat] 26th “Razzie Awards” (LA CA)
[Sat] 20th “Soul Train Music Awards” (Pasadena CA)
[Sat] “Canadian Radio Music Awards” (Toronto)
[Sun] 78th “Academy Awards”
This Week Is … Eating Disorders Awareness Week
This Month Is … Humorists Are Artists Month
BULL’S BITS . . .
WACKY TABLOID HEADLINES:
• “Dog Lands Plane After Pilot Has Heart Attack!”
• “Walking Catfish Eats Farmer!”
• “Veggie-Eating Mother Has Green Baby!”
• “500,000 Flawed Dictionaries Destroyed – Because ‘Cleanliness’ Is Next to ‘Godliness’!”
• “Man Bites the Bullet & His Head Explodes!”
• “Convenience Store Fined for Being Inconvenient!”
COLLECTIVELY SPEAKING:
• A group of frogs is called an army.
• A group of rhinos is called a crash.
• A group of kangaroos is called a mob.
• A group of whales is called a pod.
• A group of geese is called a gaggle.
• A group of ravens is called a murder.
• A group of officers is called a mess.
• A group of larks is called an exaltation.
• A group of owls is called a parliament.
• A group of kittens is called a kindle.
– Collective Noun Homepage
BS LINERS:
• Here I am again in front of a microphone. This is how the trouble usually starts.
• Ahh, I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again!
• I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
• Is this paranormal? I’m having an out-of-money experience.
BS ‘DOUBLE-P GAME’:
Each word of the 2-word answers to the following begins with the letter ‘P’ …
• This is the guy who picked a peck of pickled peppers. [Peter Piper]
• It’s the classic comedy movie recently remade with Steve Martin. [“Pink Panther”]
• In hockey, this is what you have when the other team gets a penalty. [Power Play]
• This is often used to make presentations on a computer. [PowerPoint]
• This is what centerfolds in a certain men’s magazine are called. [“Playboy” Playmates]
• This is the name of “Spider-Man’s” alter-ego. [Peter Parker]
• If you have the best hand in Texas Hold ‘Em, this is what you win. [Poker Pot]
• This is another name for a girls’ sleepover get-together. [Pajama Party]
• This is what you might take if you have a headache. [Pain Pill]
• It’s a nickname for your index finger. [Peter Pointer]
• This is the hometown of this year’s “Super Bowl” champs. [Pittsburgh PA]
BS PHONE STARTER:
Who was your childhood celebrity crush?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Journalism majors in university & college do THIS most.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Cheat.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.