Monday, March 9, 2020 – Edition: #6650
Get Sheet-Faced Every Morning!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Christian Bale, who once played ‘Batman’, is joining the Marvel Cinematic Universe. In his leap from the DC Comics world, he will star as a villain in the upcoming “Thor” film. After rumors about his involvement surfaced, Tessa Thompson, who plays ‘Valkyrie’ in the Thor and Avengers franchises, confirmed that he’s on board, saying: “Christian Bale is going to play our villain, which is going to be fantastic. I’ve read the script. I can’t tell you much.” “Thor: Love and Thunder” is scheduled for a November, 2021 release.
-MSN
★ “Modern Family” star Julie Bowen has signed on to star in the CBS comedy pilot “Raised by Wolves.” That follows her 11-season run starring on ABC’s “Modern Family,” which will air its series finale on April 8. “Raised by Wolves” is about a successful and fiercely independent crisis manager whose world is turned upside down when she decides to let someone into her life for the first time –- an 11-year-old girl who she adopts and raises with the occasional help of her fragile, nervous wreck of a sister.
-TheWrap
★ Luke Perry’s son was crowned with an amazing honor days after the one-year anniversary of the late actor’s death. Jack Perry, who is a professional wrestler, is best known by his ring name ‘Jungle Boy,’ and was named Rookie of the Year by Wrestling Observer. Posting the career-changing announcement on his social media, Jack expressed his excitement over the wrestling honor. Luke Perry died unexpectedly on March 4, 2019, after a stroke.
-TheBlast
★ Roscoe Born, a soap opera veteran whose daytime television career spanned more than 30 years on series that included “The Young and the Restless,” “All My Children,” “One Life to Live” and “Ryan’s Hope,” died last Tuesday. He was 69. News of Born’s death was announced by his friend and business partner Deanne Lynne on Facebook. No cause of death was given.
-Variety
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Vin Diesel, Aidy Bryant, Thundercat
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Alex Rodriguez, KJ Apa, HAIM
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): John Krasinski, Rachael & Vilray
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Nicolle Wallace, Rupert Everett, Daymond John, Steve Ferrone
• ” The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Niall Horan, Thandie Newton
• “Conan” (TBS): Kristen Schaal, Randy Sklar, Jason Sklar
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Parker McCown, Georgia Grobler
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): KJ Apa, Djimon Hounsou
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Ed O’Neill
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Keith Morrison, Josh Mankiewicz, Lamorne Morris
• “The Bachelor” (ABC): Season finale, part 1
• “The Voice” (NBC): The blind auditions, part 4
• “9-1-1: Lone Star” (FOX): Season 1 finale
• “The New Pope” (HBO): Season 1 finale
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Post Malone — is setting the record straight about his health. Concerned fans have shared video of a recent concert where he appeared to act strange at times during his performance, and seemed “out of it”. On Friday, he told a crowd that there is nothing wrong with him. Quote: “I’m not on drugs! feel the best I’ve ever…felt in my life.”
• Taylor Swift – has reportedly made a $1 million donation to a Tennessee tornado relief fund, saying she finds it “devastating” that people lost their livelihoods practically overnight. She and her family moved to Hendersonville, TN when she was a teen.
• Justin Bieber — eight US dates on his current stadium tour in support of his new album “Changes” have been quietly scaled down to arena appearances due to “unforeseen circumstances.” It is thought that coronavirus concerns have affected ticket sales.
• Iron Maiden – have introduced two new beers — the seventh and eighth in their Trooper line. There is an English stout called ‘Fear of the Dark’ and ‘Trooper India Pale Ale’. They are brewed in partnership with Robinsons Brewery, and will be available March 23.
• Pearl Jam — will premiere their new album, “Gigaton”, in more than 200 Dolby Atmos-equipped theaters worldwide on March 25, ahead of its release two days later. The “Gigaton” listening experience includes playback of the entire album in Dolby Atmos, which organizers say will give fans the opportunity to hear the album in a completely different way. It’s said the use of immersive sound makes listeners feel like they’re inside the music (…man!).
• Carrie Underwood – While she was promoting her book “Fittest of the Fit” on “The Tonight Show”, host Jimmy Fallon invited her to compete with him in a challenge to determine who was fittest. Let’s just say that Underwood won a clear victory.
• Ashley McBryde – is one of many artists who will perform at tonight’s “To Nashville, With Love” charity benefit concert. Brandi Carlile, Brothers Osborne, Jason Isbell, Margo Price, Sheryl Crow and Yola, plus Nashville-based rockers Dan Auerbach (front man of The Black Keys) and Soccer Mommy will play at the city’s Marathon Music Works, with all proceeds going to disaster relief and mental health organizations in the wake of Middle Tennessee’s tragic March 3 tornado.
NEEDLE LITTLE HELP:
While scientists continue to work on finding an effective vaccine for the COVID-19 virus, this could make the vaccination process a lot easier once they come up with it. A research group at the University of Texas at Austin says it has found a way to create needle-free vaccines that dissolve in your mouth. The scientists say they have developed a new way to stabilize live viruses and other medicines in a rapidly dissolving film that does not require refrigeration, and can be given by mouth. Since the ingredients to make the film are inexpensive and the process is relatively simple, it could make vaccine campaigns much more affordable. The researchers are currently involved in a startup, aiming to get the technology to market within the next two years.
(Sounds kinda pointless to me…)
(I guess that make needles needless!)
(I’d probably still faint…)
-ScienceAlert
ROLL OUT!
By now we’ve all heard the stories of people purchasing and stockpiling mass quantities of essentials so they will have them on hand in case they need to isolate themselves due to the coronavirus outbreak. Apparently, one of the most essential essentials is toilet paper. That’s right, the toilet paper hoarding has gotten so bad in some places that one newspaper, the NY News in Australia, printed an 8-page special section, complete with cut-lines, so people could use IT in an “emergency”. Some supermarkets have introduced a four-pack limit per customer. And TP is in such short supply in Hong Kong that there have been incidences of armed robbers stealing pallets of the stuff. Consumer psychology experts have called the toilet paper hoarding “obviously irrational” and a perfect example of “FOMO” syndrome.
(As long as they aren’t letting it go to waste…)
(At least the SHELVES will be wiped clean…)
(I guess you could justify it by saying “it was an emergency”!)
-BroBible
CAT HACK:
A London couple has come up with a purr-fect way to deal with a lap-hogging cat. Rebecca and Alex May adopted Ziggy the cat, and although she was initially shy, soon after she took a liking to lying in her owners’ laps. Big time. After a while, her clinginess became too much to handle. So, Alex went to work. He stuffed a pair of pants and shoes — and voila! He placed his new invention, the ‘dummy lap’ on the living room couch. Although Alex did it more as a joke, than with the expectation that it would actually work, the curious cat loves it.
PIC: https://tinyurl.com/t9k455m
(For my cat, we’d have to make a fake laptop!)
(The lady next door could use about 12 of those…)
-NYPost, DailyMail
IF WE GOT RID OF DAYLIGHT-SAVING TIME:
➢ Better sleep: It takes five to seven days to adjust to the new time schedule, according to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, and that disruption in sleep can lead to even bigger health issues. (And if you have young kids, you know it takes them even longer…like until the next time change!)
➢ Reduced risk of heart attack and stroke: DST changes are associated with a 24% increase in heart attacks and 8% increase in strokes on the Monday following the change. (So don’t make me deal with [afternoon guy] today!)
➢ Cost savings: Experts estimate the time change costs the United States around $430 million every year. The increase in heart attacks, workplace injuries, and lowered productivity all account for the added costs. (Plus, the time it takes to change all those clocks?)
➢ Fewer auto accidents: The clock change is associated with an increase in fatal auto accidents on the Monday following the spring change. This is perhaps because of drivers who are tired after losing an hour of sleep. (That or they’re trying to adjust the car clock…!)
➢ Changing crime rates: Research has found that crime rates go down by 27% percent with the additional evening hour of sunlight gained on the day after the time change in the spring. But another study found that with the extra hour gained in the fall, assault rates were up by 3% percent on the Monday following the time change.
(Plus. if we got rid of the clock change, we wouldn’t have half the population calling it Daylight SavingSSSS Time…)
-ReadersDigest
DID YOU KNOW?
This week began by changing our clocks. It also has a full moon and ends with a Friday the 13th. (And we’re expected to get through it without hand sanitizer or toilet paper – Have a good week!)
BS CHRONOMETER 03.09.20
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1964 [56] Steve Wilkos, Chicago IL, TV show host (“The Steve Wilkos Show” since 2007)
1970 [50] Shannon Leto, Bossier City LA, alt-rock drummer (30 Seconds to Mars-‘This is War’, ‘Kings & Queens’)/brother of actor-bandmate Jared Leto
1976 [44] Ben Mulroney, Montréal QC, TV personality (“Your Morning” since 2016, “eTalk Daily” 2002-16)/son of former Canadian prime minister Brian Mulroney
1979 [41] Oscar Isaac (Hernández), Estrada Guatemala, movie actor (‘Poe Dameron’ in “Star Wars: The Force Awakens”, “Star Wars: The Last Jedi”)
1980 [40] Matthew Gray Gubler, Las Vegas NV, TV actor (‘Dr. Spencer Reid’ on “Criminal Minds” 2005-20)
1980 [40] Chingy (Howard Bailey Jr), St Louis MO, rapper (‘Pullin’ Me Back’, ‘Right Thurr’)
1986 [34] Brittany Snow, Tampa FL, movie actress (“Pitch Perfect” movies, “Hairspray”)
1987 [33] Bow Wow (Shad Moss), Columbus OH, TV actor (‘Baby Face’ on “CSI: Cyber” 2015-2016/movie actor (“The Fast & the Furious: Tokyo Drift”)/rapper (‘Shortie Like Mine’)
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Barbie Day”, the anniversary of the day the world’s most successful doll was first unveiled in 1959 at NYC’s “International Toy Fair”. More than 1 billion Barbies have been sold since. (BS Fast Fact: In Jan.,
Mattel unveiled the “Barbie Wellness Collection” to “introduce girls to the benefits of self-care through play.” It includes ‘Barbie Fashionista Breathe With Me Barbie’ (she meditates!), ‘Barbie Spa Doll’ (soaks away the day with spa and bath products) and ‘Spa Day Fitness Doll’ (wears athleisure, carries a protein bar, and a smartwatch)
• “Workplace Napping Day”, observed annually since 1999 on the Monday after we lose an hour of sleep to Daylight Saving Time in North America. It seems setting the clock ahead an entire hour messes with our brains, causing fatigue and general airheadedness. In fact, a UBC study of traffic accidents on the day following the ‘Spring Forward’ found there was an 8% increase.
• “Crabmeat Day”, saluting the seafood we love. How can such an ugly creature taste so good?
• “Get Over It Day”, whatever it is that’s put that chip on your shoulder – a perceived slight, a public embarrassment, a failed relationship. Today’s the day to get over it and get on with your life. (And DO NOT let your next sentence start with, “I would if…”)
• “Panic Day”, an annual event that encourages you to indulge all of your deepest fears and let loose a rampage of unbridled hysteria. Tearing out one’s hair, shrieking like a banshee, and sobbing uncontrollably are encouraged. So go ahead, push the panic button!
• “Amerigo Vespucci Day” [‘vuhs-POOCH-ee’], commemorating the Italian’s 1454 birth in Florence. He’s the marginally-successful explorer that a European mapmaker chose as namesake for the ‘New World’, as in ‘North Amerigo’.
COMING UP . . .
[Tues] International Bagpipe Day
[Tues] Mario Day
[Wed] Johnny Appleseed Day
[Wed] Dream Day
This Week Is…International Women’s Week
This Month Is…National Frozen Food Month
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2005 [15] Dan Rather signs off for the last time as anchor of “The CBS Evening News”
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1997 [23] Beloved New York rapper Biggie Smalls (The Notorious B.I.G.) is gunned down in Los Angeles streets six months after his rival Tupac Shakur met the same fate.
2004 [16] 63-year-old singer Tom Jones is banned from wearing tight leather pants by his manager-son Mark, who insists he cease being a laughing stock and “dress his age”
2007 [13] Vocalist-guitarist Brad Delp of classic rock group Boston dies in Atkinson NH of suicide at age 55
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1964 [56] The first Ford ‘Mustang’ car is manufactured (goes on to become a classic collectible)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2012 [08] The world’s oldest Charles Dickens-based film, dating from 1901 and featuring a depiction of a “Bleak House” character, is rediscovered by the British Film Institute
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ The odds of getting a hole-in-one in golf are estimated at about 18,000-to-1.
✓ Ninjas don’t wear black. Traditional ninjas know the importance of blending in, so they usually disguise themselves as civilians.
✓ 9 out of 10 lightning strike victims live.
✓ The word ‘taxi’ is spelled the same in English, German, French, Swedish and Portuguese.
✓ Streets in Japan do not have names.
✓ A 2010 study found that people fluent in multiple languages almost always swear in their native tongue.
-MentalFloss, HookedonFacts
BS DEEP THOUGHTS FROM DENTISTS:
• “I know — I’ll freeze his mouth, then fill it with instruments, THEN ask him a question.”
• “Now…Let’s see if we can’t get to the root of the problem. I kill me!”
• “This is going to hurt you a lot more than it’s going to hurt me…and I’m just talking about your bill!”
• “If I’m named ‘dentist of the year’, will they give me a plaque?”
• “Why is the 5th dentist always so disagreeable?”
• “The Tooth Fairy had better have my cut of the money this week…”
• “You can’t handle the tooth!”
• “Don’t say ooops…don’t say ooops…don’t say ooops…”
• “So what if I use my own laughing gas once in a while. Who wouldn’t?”
-Twitter
Best of BS . . .
BS TIPS FOR CANADIANS HEADING SOUTH FOR MARCH BREAK:
• Don’t be surprised to find seafood and bait in the same store. Do not buy food in this store.
• Remember, “ya’ll” is singular, “all ya’ll” is plural, and “all ya’ll’s” is plural possessive.
• “Ya’ll oughta not do that!” is the equivalent of saying “No!”
• Get used to hearing “You ain’t from ‘round here, are ya’ll?”
• Don’t be worried about not understanding what people are saying. They can’t understand you either.
• If it falls below 60 degrees, you can easily spot other Canadians because they are the ones who are also not wearing winter jackets.
• Be advised that “He needed killin’!” is a valid defence down there.
-First published in BS in 2018
BS WEB GOODIE:
Cannot unsee: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hW2-i587lR0
BS THREEZER:
(Give contestant the clues, they must tell you what all three have in common…)
• Bowling alley, Basketball court, Highway
(Answer: They all have lanes)
• Ballroom, Billiard room, Conservatory
(Answer: Possible places of murder in the game “Clue”)
• Cow, School, Wedding
(Answer: They are all types of bells)
-TriBond
BS RANDOM JOKE:
I’d very much like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
BS PHONE STARTER:
What is the most “backhanded” compliment that you’ve ever received?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: There are two jobs where 95% of the workforce is female. One is kindergarten teacher. What is the other?
Answer: Dental hygienist
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
You can have results or excuses, but not both.
