Tuesday, March 10, 2020 – Edition: #6651
Get a Load of This Sheet!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Max von Sydow, the Swedish actor who made his name in a series of landmark films with Ingmar Bergman before progressing to international stardom, has died in France. He was 90. Sydow’s most iconic role was in Bergman’s “The Seventh Seal” in 1957, in which he plays chess with Death. He also played a doomed priest in “The Exorcist”, and an intellectually snobbish artist in Woody Allen’s 1986 film “Hannah and Her Sisters”. More recently, he appeared in “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” and on “Game of Thrones as the mystical Three-Eyed Raven”. Comedy fans might remember him as the villain ‘Brewmeister Smith’ in 1983’s Bob & Doug McKenzie movie “Strange Brew”.
-Guardian
★ Arnold Schwarzenegger’s company associates are suing a Russian robot company for allegedly using the “Terminator” star’s voice and likeness to promote their androids. Arnie’s lawyers are demanding $10 million from Promobot, who manufacture service robots which consumers can customize to look human. They claim the Android Robo-C, which promotes the company at public events, looks and sounds like Schwarzenegger, but he did not give them permission to use his likeness.
-Canoe
★ Amanda Bynes and Paul Michael have called things off, just three weeks after getting engaged on Valentine’s Day. The couple met in AA class, and had only been dating for about three months when he popped the question. Her Valentine’s Day post was the first time fans even learned that she was in a relationship Michael. Rumors of a split started swirling after Bynes recently deleted all pictures of her former fiancée from her Instagram page.
-InTouch, ETCanada
★ The American Film Institute says it is postponing its 48th annual AFI Life Achievement Award Gala Tribute honoring Julie Andrews in an apparent response to the coronavirus outbreak. The organization originally planned to give Andrews its Life Achievement Award on April 25 in Los Angeles. It will be rescheduled for early summer.
-PageSix
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Emily Blunt, Christina Aguilera
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Nick Offerman, Megan Mullally, Charli D’Amelio, 070 Shake
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Charles Barkley, Peter Sarsgaard
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Cillian Murphy, David Simon, Steve Ferrone
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Annette Bening, Elle Fanning, Niall Horan
• “Conan” (TBS): Nikki Glaser
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Stassi Schroeder, Beau Clark
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Nick Offerman, Katherine Schwarzenegger Pratt, Barry Sonnenfeld
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Mandy Moore
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Jessica Simpson, Mike Matola, Trevor Jackson, Chris Janson
• “The Bachelor” (ABC): Season Finale Part 2
• “Women of Troy” (HBO): The story of the USC Trojans women’s basketball team of the 1980s and how it changed women’s basketball forever.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Ed Sheeran — has a tattoo in honor of his five ‘future’ children. He has had rings inked on his back, which he reportedly plans to dedicate to his kids (when they arrive) by adding their handprints inside each circle.
• Janelle Monáe — will headline NYC’s Pride Island concert June 26. Quote: “Celebrating Pride in NYC is a rite of passage for a queer person. I am grateful for the community it creates and I can’t wait to party with everyone.”
• Dua Lipa – will be the musical guest on Saturday Night Live on March 28. She will join host “A Quiet Place Part II” director and star John Krasinski.
• The Beatles — The wooden stage of “Lathom Hall”, the small Liverpool venue where they performed before they rocketed to fame, is going up for auction, along with Paul McCartney’s scribbled notes for a recording of ‘Hey Jude’. The stage and the lyrics are among 300 items of Beatles memorabilia being sold in New York on April 10. The stage is expected to sell for $10,000 to $20,000.
• Neil Young – wrote on his website that he is in doubt over whether to proceed with his planned “barn tour” with Crazy Horse as a result of coronavirus concerns. Quote: “These are uncertain times. The idea of announcing the tour…needs to be thought through…the last thing we want to do is put people at risk, especially our older audience.”
• Korn – will co-headline a summer North American tour with Faith No More. The tour, beginning Aug. 7 in Denver, will also feature special guests Daron Malakian and Scars on Broadway, Helmet, Spotlights, and ’68 on select dates.
• Shania Twain – says that she has a “new voice” after undergoing multiple surgeries since being diagnosed with Lyme disease in 2003. On “Sunday Today With Willie Geist”, she said: “I’m never gonna have my own voice again. “I’m okay with that. I’ve found a new voice and I like it.”
• Kacey Musgraves – is doing what she can to help the city of Nashville, where the deadly tornado hit last week. She is selling some of her stage clothes on “Stage to Closet”, a celebrity clothing sale Instagram account, with the proceeds going to benefit tornado relief efforts. She also has some shoes, jewelry and other accessories up for grabs.
THIS WEEK’S NETFLIX (Canada) RELEASES:
➢ March 10:
• “Carmen Sandiego: To Steal or Not to Steal” (Netflix Family): You drive the action in this interactive adventure, helping Carmen save Ivy and Zack when V.I.L.E. captures them during a heist in Shanghai.
➢ March 11:
• “Dirty Money: Season 2” (Netflix Documentary): The second season of the investigative series dives in on Jared Kushner’s real estate empire, the Wells Fargo banking scandal and Malaysia’s 1MDB corruption case.
➢ March 13:
• “Elite: Season 3” (Netflix Original): When another classmate is killed, a new investigation ensues. The students look toward their future, while the consequences of the past haunt them.
• “100 Humans” (Netflix Original): One hundred diverse volunteers participate in experiments that tackle questions about age, gender, happiness, and other aspects of being human.
➢ March 16:
• “The Boss Baby: Back In Business–Season 3” (Netflix Family): After losing his job at Baby Corp, Boss Baby goes freelance and turns his playgroup into a makeshift field team. Cue the critical mission!
(Full list: https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/entry/netflix-canada-march-2020_ca_5e4db18dc5b6db259021ef12 For releases in other Netflix regions, click here: https://www.whats-on-netflix.com/coming-soon/)
SLEEP AWARE:
This is Sleep Awareness Week, and here is something that you should be aware of when it comes to sleep: Reading a book before bed will give your mental health a boost. Publisher Random House has partnered with homeware company Parachute in the #readtosleep campaign, and they want everyone to know about the benefits of reading before you turn out the light and drift off to dreamland. Reading before bed has been shown to improve sleep quality, which in turn can reduce stress hormones, boost mood, enhance cognitive skills and decision-making, and consolidate memories. On the other hand, scrolling through your social media feeds or binge-watching shows does not boast the same effects. The blue-light exposure from the TV or other screens can delay the onset of REM sleep and leave you feeling less rested the next day.
(And you have to admit, by NOT seeing crazy Uncle Jerry’s political rants just before bed, you’re BOUND to sleep better!)
(I used to read at night, but I found it made my lips tired!)
(Or, as it works in my house, I drift off to dreamland WITHOUT turning the light off…)
-NYPost
MISS CALLS:
A New York engineer has built her own cell phone – with an old-style rotary dial — because she can’t stand texting nor complicated smartphones. Justine Haupt spent 3 years developing the old-school device so that it can fit in her pocket, get better reception, and maintain battery life for up to 30 hours. She built it by sourcing an old dial phone and some cell phone parts, and used a 3D printer to create the case. When the astronomy instrumentation engineer wrote about her achievement on her blog, the website crashed from the sheer number of visitors checking out her bright turquoise “modern-retro” gadget. And it seems that she isn’t the only one who is interested in “tech-throwback”. She is now offering DIY build-it kits to the public.
(If I was making this, it would also have a “SLAM the receiver down” option!)
(Awesome. I’ve finally found someone who gets fewer texts than me!)
(My phone battery would last for 30 hours too, if I didn’t send any texts!)
-GoodNews
BEST AND WORST THINGS TO BUY IN MARCH:
Best:
⇒ Cruise: And not just because of coronavirus. There are many last-minute March Break cruise deals out there. (I’m just not sure I believe them when the commercial says, “There has never been a better time to book a cruise!”)
⇒ Luggage: Now is an ideal time to stock up on luggage with seasonal deep discounts on suitcases, bags and accessories. (No thanks. I’ve already got all the baggage I can handle…)
⇒ Vacuum Cleaner: Expect to find major discounts on big-ticket items like vacuums, as well as other cleaning supplies. (No way. I’m not falling for that again…first she tells you to buy it – next she expects you to use it!)
⇒ Gardening and Home Improvement: Whether you’re into gardening, grilling, or just relaxing outside, there are lots of deals to kickstart spring available in March.
⇒ St. Patrick’s Day Gear: Expect to find all the green fashion and decor you could hope for this month. The longer you wait to buy, the lower prices will go. (Does this include Aspirin?)
Worst:
⇒ Spring Clothing: Spring styles have only been in stores for a few weeks, so be prepared to pay full price. If you wait until May or June, you’ll start to see prices come down. (But it’s important to me to be the first to sport the newest in cargo shorts…)
⇒ Android Phones: You’re better off waiting. Prime Day in July and Black Friday in November are your best bets if you’re looking to snag a great deal. (If you go through phones like I do, you don’t always have the option of waiting…)
⇒ Lingerie: Now that Valentine’s Day is over, hold on until June or July for better deals during Victoria’s Secret’s Semi-Annual Sale. Usually, competitors offer similar deals. (Don’t worry, guys, you can still window shop…)
-YahooStyle
DID YOU KNOW?
Costco has suspended the handing out of their famous free samples in their stores over fears it could aid the spread of the coronavirus. It is not immediately known if this will affect all stores or only some. An Instagram account called @costcodeals, which often shares information about discounts and products for the chain, shared a post stating that the samples will be gone “for the foreseeable future.”
-USAToday, Kero
BS CHRONOMETER 03.10.20
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1940 [80] (Carlos) Chuck Norris, Ryan OK, TV actor (“Walker, Texas Ranger” 1993-2001)/movie actor (“Way of the Dragon”)/martial artist
1949 [71] Barbara Corcoran, Edgewater NJ, businesswoman/TV personality (“Shark Tank” since 2009)
1958 [62] Sharon Stone, Meadville PA, movie actress)”Basic Instinct”, “Casino”) COMING UP…”What About Love”, 2020
1963 [57] Rick Rubin, Long Beach NY, music producer (AC/DC, Adele, Ed Sheeran, Jay Z, Josh Groban, Justin Bieber, Kanye West, Metallica, etc.)
1971 [49] Jon Hamm, St Louis MO, TV actor (“Mad Men” 2007-15)/movie actor (“Minions”, “The Town”) COMING UP…”Top Gun: Maverick”, 2020
1972 [48] Timbaland (Timothy Mosley), Norfolk VA, music producer (Jay Z, Justin Timberlake, Madonna, Nelly Furtado, Rihanna, Usher, etc.)
1977 [43] Robin Thicke, LA CA, pop singer (‘Blurred Lines’, ‘Sex Therapy’)/son of Alan Thicke and Gloria Loring
1983 [37] Carrie Underwood, Muskogee OK, country singer (‘Something In the Water’, ‘Before He Cheats’)/married to ex-NHLer Mike Fisher
1984 [36] Olivia Wilde, NYC, movie actress (“Love the Coopers”)/TV actress (“House MD” 2007-12)
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Mario Day”, saluting anyone with that name because the abbreviated date (MAR-10) sort-of spells ‘Mario’. Famous Marios include TV chef Mario Batali, NHL Hall of Famer Mario Lemieux, TV personality Mario Lopez and ‘Mario’ of “Super Mario Bros” videogame fame.
• “International Bagpipe Day”, to celebrate the world’s many bagpipes and piping traditions.
NET: http://www.internationalbagpipeorganisation.com
• “International Day of Awesomeness”, a day to recognize that people are awesome every day, frequently don’t realize it, and their awesomeness is rarely recognized.
NET: http://dayofawesomeness.com
• “Organize Your Home Office Day”. Studies once showed that an inordinate number of those who work at home still dressed in office attire every day in order to ‘get into work mode’. Is that still the case?
• “Salvation Army Day”, the anniversary of its establishment in the USA on this day in 1880. The Sally Ann was founded by William Booth in London in 1865, then came to NYC to provide food, shelter and clothing to needy Americans.
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Dream Day
[Wed] National Promposal Day
[Thurs] Girl Scout Day
[Thurs] National Alfred Hitchcock Day
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1997 [23] “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” starring Sarah Michelle Geller premieres on WB Television Network
2009 [11] Actress Mandy Moore (“This is Us”) weds singer-songwriter Ryan Adams in a quiet ceremony in Savannah GA (divorced 2016)
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2008 [12] Madonna is inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame along with John Mellencamp, The Dave Clark Five, The Ventures and Leonard Cohen
2003 [17] During a concert in London UK, Dixie Chicks singer Natalie Maines says she’s “ashamed the president of the USA is from Texas” (severely impacting their career)
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2014 [06] World’s largest banana company is created as Irish fruit firm Fyffes merges with US company Chiquita to form ‘ChiquitaFyffes’
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2015 [05] A jury awards Marvin Gaye’s estate $7.3 million, finding the Robin Thicke song ‘Blurred Lines’ is too similar to Gaye’s 1977 hit ‘Got to Give It Up’
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ The first dice were made from sheep ankle bones.
✓ Some air fresheners contain numbing agents, which anesthetize the nose.
✓ In a microwave, water molecules vibrate at the rate of 5 billion times per second.
✓ In India, milk is sold in frozen blocks; In Denmark, it’s sold in dehydrated sheets.
✓ The world’s first known vending machine dispensed holy water. (Egypt, A.D. 100)
✓ In 1965, a U.S. Navy bomber accidentally dropped a “practices” bomb on a store in Florida.
-BathroomReadersInstitute
BS TV SHOWS AND MOVIES IN THE AGE OF CORONAVIRUS:
• Stay Home Alone
• Infector Gadget
• Sneezy Rider
• Bacteria to the Future
• Wallace and Vomit
• Ten Things I Hate About Flu
• Cloudy With a Chance of Quarantine
• How to Win Friends and Influenza People
• The Facemasked Singer
• Bridget Jones’ Diarrhea
• Here’s Looking Achoo, Kid
-Twitter
Best of BS . . .
BS SIGNS IT’S TIME TO QUIT FACEBOOK:
• It reminds you every day of your life how much less interesting you are than everyone else you know.
• After running out of clever status updates to use, you’ve left it on ‘lonely’.
• You’re finding that actually doing your daily work has become a nice break from Facebook.
• You’ve become unsure your lunch is interesting enough to photograph and discuss.
• The popularity contest was pathetic enough in high school.
• Your co-workers really didn’t need to know your college nickname was ‘Squirt’.
• It’s really starting to eat into your Twitter time.
• Your ‘friend’ died.
• 3 words: Kids’ Poop Updates.
– First published in “BS” 2011.
BS WEB GOODIE:
You can’t take your eyes off ’em: https://tinyurl.com/u34ywvp
BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the fantasy career you always dreamed of but never pursued?
BS RANDOM JOKE:
A picture may be worth a thousand words … but try saying THAT with a picture.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: According to a poll, coffee is the most recognizable smell, and THIS is #2. What is it?
Answer: Peanut butter.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Don’t practice until you get it right. Practice until you can’t get it wrong.