Monday, March 8, 2021 – Edition: #6933
If the Sheet Fits, Buy It!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Billy Eichner is making movie history. The actor-comedian is set to star in, co-write and executive produce Universal’s “Bros”, the first gay rom-com from a major studio. Bros, which is scheduled to hit theaters in August, 2022, will center around “two gay men with commitment issues who attempt a relationship.” The actor who will star opposite Eichner as his love interest has not yet been announced.
-MSN
★ A decade after it was cancelled, “Don’t Forget the Lyrics” is coming back to TV. The game show challenged contestants to complete song lyrics for increasing amounts of money, giving them the chance to earn more money or risk everything they’d won so far by taking another song on. The show was originally hosted by Wayne Brady from 2007-09, and the syndicated version was hosted by Sugar Ray singer Mark McGrath from 2010-11. So far, there is no word on when…or where the revival will air, but potential contestants can apply here: https://lyricscasting.castingcrane.com
-PopCulture
★ Movie theatres are open again in New York, and Liam Neeson found the perfect way to celebrate. Neeson, who has already received his first dose of the COVID vaccine, made an in-person appearance at the Lincoln Square multiplex on Friday to personally introduce his new movie “The Marksman”. Ahead of the premiere, he said: “It will be nice to welcome people. I think going to the cinema is a bit of a sacred experience. I’ve felt that way since I was a kid.”
-MSN
★ Former “Today” show co-anchor Katie Couric will kick off her stint behind the “Jeopardy!” lectern tonight when she debuts as guest host. Following longtime personality Alex Trebek’s death last November, the show returned in January with Jeopardy! ‘GOAT’ Ken Jennings filling in. Couric will be followed by Dr. Oz starting on March 22, with NFL MVP (and 2015 Celebrity Jeopardy! champ) Aaron Rodgers filling in beginning April 5. Future guest hosts include CNN anchor Anderson Cooper, Today co-host Savannah Guthrie and CNN’s chief medical correspondent Dr. Sanjay Gupta.
-Canoe
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Amy Poehler, Courtney B. Vance, Willie Jones
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Nicolle Wallace, Michaela Coel, Kings of Leon
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Eddie Murphy, Guy Fieri, Josh Herndon
• ” The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Andra Day, SG Lewis featuring Nile Rodgers
• “Conan” (TBS): Fortune Feimster
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Dani Soares, Alli Dore
• “The Talk” (CBS): Max Greenfield, Sheaun McKinney, Marcel Spears
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Delroy Lindo, Ciara Bravo, Andrea Arden
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Cedric the Entertainer, Jhené Aiko, Kings of Leon
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Amanda Seyfried, Sarah Hyland, Seventeen (R)
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Diane Von Furstenberg, Dawn Russell, Jermaine Fowler
• “The Bachelor” (ABC): Matt and the remaining women enjoy romantic and perfectly tailored one-on-one dates before deciding whether they are ready to spend the night together.
• “Rock the Block” (HGTV): Season 2 premiere. Each team tries to add the most value to their respective kitchens and dining rooms; “Chopped’s” Ted Allen tests the teams’ mettle with a design twist.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Drake – says his delayed album “Certified Lover Boy” is “in the pot and coming soon”. In an interview, he teased it’s “currently being chef’d in every way possible”. It was set for release in January, but was delayed so he could focus on recovering from knee surgery.
• Beyoncé – used her musical gifts to celebrate the life of Lyric Chanel, a young fan who lost her battle with brain cancer. Following the sad news, Bey posted a video on YouTube, featuring photos and video of Chanel, while accompanying it with an a cappella medley of her hits, including ‘Brown Skin Girl’, ‘Halo’ and ‘Love on Top’.
• Maroon 5 – Some comments from Adam Levine last week aggravated some fans and artists. He referred to bands as a “dying breed,” though he later admitted that there “are still are plenty of bands and maybe they’re not…in the pop limelight, but I wish there could be more of those around.” Many on social media spoke out against Levine, including many bands themselves ― Eve 6 and Garbage among them.
• Michael Stanley – The legendary Cleveland musician died Friday after a seven-month battle with lung cancer. He was 72. The Michael Stanley Band released 10 albums from 1975-87. He later went solo and released a further 13 records. Stanley had worked for the past 30 years as a radio disc jockey.
• The Supremes – The expanded edition of Mary Wilson’s self-titled solo album is set to be posthumously released digitally. The collection includes 8 bonus tracks, rare remixes and the new song, ‘Why Can’t We All Get Along’. The Supremes co-founder passed away last month at her home in Las Vegas.
• Metallica – Their ‘All Within My Hands’ non-profit donated $75,000 to Feeding America to support Texans following last month’s crippling winter storms. The money will provide aid to those in need after enduring weeks without power and safe drinking water. The band is encouraging fans to help by donating at www.FeedingTexas.org
• Miranda Lambert, Jack Ingram and Jon Randall – will release their album “The Marfa Tapes” on May 7, and the trio shared the song ‘In His Arms’ on Friday. Marfa is the tiny town in Texas where the 3 recorded the album during a five-day stretch in November with just 2 microphones and an acoustic guitar.
• Thomas Rhett — announced on Friday that he will release the new disc “Country Again: Side A” on April 30. The second half of the ‘double album’, “Country Again: Side B”, will follow later this year. He also released 2 new songs: ‘Want It Again’ and ‘Growing Up’.
• Carly Pearce — was in her home state Thursday for the unveiling of her display in the Kentucky Music Hall of Fame & Museum. Speaking in front of a costume that her mom made for her 4th grade talent show, she said: “This is so special to me. I love Kentucky so much, I have (the) state tattooed on my wrist because I love it so much!”
SHOOTING THE BULL
FLIGHT PLANS:
⇒ If you’re daydreaming of future travels while stuck at home during the pandemic, why not let your imagination run wild, and fantasize about one day staying at a space hotel? In 2019, California’s Gateway Foundation revealed plans for a cruise ship-style hotel that could one day float above the Earth’s atmosphere. Construction on the futuristic concept, now known as “Voyager Station”, comprised of 24 modules connected by elevator shafts that make up a rotating wheel orbiting Earth, is now set to begin in 2026, and a “spay-cation” could be possible by 2027, for those able to foot the bill. (Why not? It’s not like you’ve never awakened with a bad case of ‘the spins’ in a hotel room before!!)
⇒ With Australians still unable to travel abroad due to pandemic restrictions, Qantas Airlines has launched a series of “Mystery Flights” to encourage domestic travel. Those who book one of the 3 journeys on offer will put their fates into the hands of the airline. The one-day trips fly out of Brisbane, Sydney and Melbourne, and travel to a destination within about 2 hours. Travellers won’t know where they’re headed until the plane makes its descent to the mystery location. The flights will reportedly include some low-level flybys of key landmarks en route. Guests enjoy breakfast in the Qantas lounge at 7 a.m., and return in the early evening. (Unless they REALLY want to be part of a mystery…)
-CNN, CTV
CORONAUPDATE:
➠ A private non-profit Canadian organization has created an eco-friendly biodegradable mask, an innovation it says is the first of its kind in the world. FPInnovations says that a key element that makes the mask appealing is that its components can be easily assembled and produced on existing commercial machines. The masks are fully biodegradable, from the mask filtering materials, to the elastic ear loops and nose pieces. (Great. Just what people need. MORE encouragement to toss them all over the grocery store parking lot!)
➠ Sniffer dogs were able to detect cases of COVID-19 more than a week before they were picked up by a conventional nasal swab in trials held at a Belgian football club. In the test, carried out by the K9 Detection sniffer dog company, players were tested both with the PCR test and with swabs taken from their armpits and sniffed by specially trained dogs. In 99.5% of the cases, the dogs’ findings were in line with the result of the PCR test, but yielded their results much faster. The “corona odor” dogs detect is present from the first day of infection, before conventional tests pick it up. It is thought that some day, COVID-sniffing dogs could become a fixture at large-scale events. (And of course, the irony is that COVID causes you to LOSE your sense of smell…)
-CTV, TheTimes
FOODS THAT NEVER GO BAD:
These never spoil. Learn them and then keep them forever…. or at least until you eat them…
➢ Honey: You probably already knew this one. It may change color and become crystalized, but it will stay safe to eat. (Let’s face it – honey is bee vomit. How much more gross could it get?)
➢ Rice: Even if it has been in the cupboard for years, it is just as good as the day you bought it. This is true for white, wild, arborio, jasmine and basmati rice. Brown rice? Sorry. Its higher oil content makes it turn rancid. (What happens if it has a wet cell phone in it?)
➢ White vinegar: Stays fresh forever. (So THAT’S why my grocery store sells a ‘lifetime-sized’ vat!)
➢ Salt: Of course.
➢ Sugar: The challenge is keeping it from turning hard. Store it in an airtight container, and you should be good.
➢ Dried beans: They will take longer to soften when cooked ― and sometimes won’t completely soften at all ― after about a year or two, but they don’t lose their nutritional value with age. (Should I add the obligatory “fart” joke, or would you like to move on?)
➢ Hard liquor: It may lose its aroma slightly, but your liquor cabinet could be the type of thing that’s passed down from generation to generation. (In my family, it’s never been around long enough for this to be proven…)
-HuffPost
DID YOU KNOW?
In the 16th century, Nostradamus predicted that there would be a zombie apocalypse in 2021. Now, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has updated the ‘Zombie Preparedness’ section on its website. While the section isn’t new, it does make for interesting timing given that it’s been updated in the middle of a global pandemic that just so happens to be happening in the year of a predicted zombie apocalypse. But alas, the CDC makes it clear that this is a joke, albeit one with a serious message about the importance of disaster preparedness. The CDC offers up lesson plans for teachers on zombie apocalypse preparedness, a downloadable poster that reads, “Get a Kit. Make a Plan. Be Prepared,” next to a zombie’s face, and general information about disaster preparedness. LINK: https://www.cdc.gov/cpr/zombie/index.htm
-Yahoo
BS CHRONOMETER 03.08.21
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1945 [76] (George) Micky Dolenz, Los Angeles CA, pop singer-drummer (The Monkees-‘I’m a Believer’, ‘Last Train to Clarksville’)/actor (“The Monkees” 1966-68)
1959 [62] Aidan Quinn, Chicago IL, TV actor (“Elementary” 2012-19)/movie actor (“Legends of the Fall”)
1959 [62] Lester Holt, Marin County CA, journalist-news anchor (“Dateline NBC” since 2006, “NBC Nightly News with Lester Holt” since 2005)
1961 [60] (Debra) Camryn Manheim, Caldwell New Jersey, TV actress (“The Practice” 1997-2004, “Ghost Whisperer” 2006-10)
1976 [45] Freddie Prinze Jr., Los Angeles CA, movie actor (“She’s All That”, “Scooby-Doo”)/married to Sarah Michelle Gellar since 2002
1977 [44] James Van Der Beek, Cheshire CT, TV actor (“Don’t Trust the B–– In Apartment 23” 2012-13, “Dawson’s Creek” 1998-2003)
1979 [42] Andy Ross, Worcester MA, rock guitarist (OK Go-‘Here It Goes Again’, ‘Get Over It’)
1982 [39] Kat Von D (Katherine von Drachenberg), Monterrey Mexico, tattoo artist/reality TV star (“LA Ink” 2007-11, “Miami Ink” 2005-06)
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “International Women’s Day”, first suggested at a 1910 women’s conference in Copenhagen by activist Clara Zetkin. The first “IWD” was observed in Germany the next year. This year’s theme is ##ChooseToChallenge NET: http://www.internationalwomensday.com
• “Proofreading Day”, to promote accuracy in written messages. If you hate typos and grammatical errors, thIs iZ yer dayb (What grammatical error drives you bonkers? When someone uses an apostrophe for a plural, it makes me want to bite a wall…)
• “Fun Facts About Names Day”, part of “Celebrate Your Name Week”, when it’s suggested we take time to learn some of the interesting background to our names. Try here …
NET: http://www.behindthename.com
• “Commonwealth Day”, observed on the 2nd Monday in March to honor the loose association of 53 countries in the British Commonwealth (the one-time British Empire). It now entails some 2.4 billion people or about 30% of the world’s population.
• “Be Nasty Day”, If ever there was a holiday or observance to NOT participate in, it’s Be Nasty Day! On this day, we all have an excuse to be rude, mean, spiteful, or difficult to be around. (It isn’t known who created this, but what a nasty thing to do!)
COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Barbie Day
[Tues] Get Over It Day
[Wed] International Bagpipe Day
[Wed] Mario Day
This Week Is…International Women’s Week
This Month Is…Frozen Food Month
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1993 [28] “Beavis and Butt-Head”, a show about two animated idiots who watch MTV, debuts on MTV (A spin-off movie is currently in production for Paramount+)
2003 [18] The singing competition show “Nashville Star” debuts on USA Network (Miranda Lambert comes in 3rd on Season 1)
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2003 [18] 50 Cent’s first single, ‘In Da Club’, tops the chart for the first of 9 weeks
2016 [05] AC/DC postpones the remainder of their US tour after singer Brian Johnson is warned he’ll go deaf if he continues (Axl Rose eventually takes over to complete the gigs)
2016 [05] Legendary Brit record producer Sir George Martin (The Beatles) dies at age 90
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1969 [52] ‘Happy Birthday’ becomes the first song to be performed in outer space when Apollo IX astronauts sing it to celebrate the birthday of the director of NASA space operations, Christopher Kraft
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ Collectively, humans have watched Adam Sandler movies on Netflix for longer than civilization has existed.
✓ A 2-pound (907g) bag of sugar contains about 5 million individual grains.
✓ Eating garlic improves your body odor.
✓ About 3lbs. (1.4kg) of your body weight is bacteria and parasites.
✓ The tallest volcano on Mars is 17 miles (27.3km) high – 84 times taller than the Eifel Tower.
✓ In Sweden, you can buy toilet paper called Kräpp.
-WhattheFFacts, BathroomReadersInstitute
Best of BS . . .
DUMB ACCOUNTANT TAX TIPS:
• Hire yourself as an employee, fire yourself, sue yourself for discrimination, deduct court costs.
• Report $1 billion income so the tax people think you’re some sort of big shot.
• Answer every question “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
• Hide all money in mattress, but on tax return write “No money hidden in mattress.”
• If you’ve just eaten, don’t do taxes for at least a half-hour.
• For ‘Charitable Contributions,’ list the $28 you spent on the last Nicolas Cage movie.
• To distract the auditor, attach a photo of yourself naked.
• Round every figure off to ‘umpteen’.
• Check off the box for ‘Joint Filing’, then light one up.
-First published in BS in 2013
TODAY’S SLICE OF BS:
➠ It’s official: Major League Baseball spring training games are underway. (My team is gonna be HORRIBLE. They’re so bad, they sold their TV rights to Comedy Central…)
➠ Gabrielle Union is showing her support for Meghan Markle amid bullying accusations. (Sorry, I’m reserving judgement until Julia Stiles weighs in!)
➠ Friday was Employee Appreciation Day. (Or, as Walmart employees call it: Friday…)
➠ I just read that using social media can hurt a student’s chance to be accepted into some colleges. (Unless the school offers a degree in “duckface…”)
➠ Apple has a big announcement coming this month. (It’s either about the new iPad, iGlass, AirTag tracking system . . . or just to let us know they just bought Earth. And still have money left over…)
BS WEB GOODIE:
Did you ever just wish you were a dog? https://tinyurl.com/57u7nn2t
BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• Greenland residents are citizens of what country?
a) Denmark [CORRECT]
b) Iceland
c) Sweden
d) Scandinavia
• What is a sentence or word that reads the same backward and forward known as?
a) Synonym
b) Palindrome [CORRECT]
c) Anagram
d) Marsupial
• Which runs faster?
a) An average water faucet.
b) An average hippopotamus. [CORRECT. Tap water travels about 1 mph, a hippo: 30mph, a turtle’s top speed is 15 mph. The Taco Bell customer? Fast, but not as fast as the hippo]
c) The fastest land turtle
d) An average Taco Bell customer after lunch
-Terribly Trivial!, TorontoStar
BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the most unusual item your partner keeps in the bathroom? (One survey found the average male has 6 personal items in the family bathroom, and the average woman has 65.)
BS RANDOM JOKE:
I don’t understand how God can have Ten Commandments for the whole world when my wife has 152 just for our house.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: The average person will spend 39 hours this year staring at THIS. What is it?
Answer: The inside of the refrigerator
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Wish not so much to live long as to live well.
