The Bull Sheet

March 25, 2014

Tuesday, March 25, 2014        Edition: #5187

If the Sheet Fits, Buy It!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ For Kim Kardashian & Kanye West, it’s all about the ‘kash’. The engaged couple are locked in a nasty legal battle with YouTube co-founder Chad Hurley over claims that his leaked video of their over-the-top engagement hit them directly in the wallet. They’ve reportedly turned down his offer to settle the dispute by donating a sizeable sum to charity. Apparently they’re not considering settling for anything less than a direct personal payment. They’ll face off in court on November 17th unless they can reach a settlement beforehand.
– RadarOnline.com
★ Actress Mila Kunis is reportedly expecting her first child with her new fiancé Ashton Kutcher. Just weeks after Kunis allegedly became engaged to her longtime beau, a source says they’re now preparing to become first-time parents. Kunis is said to have been spotted attending a prenatal yoga class in Hollywood recently, and despite speculation suggesting she is having twins, the insider reveals the actress is only expecting one child with Kutcher. The couple was caught on the ‘Kiss Cam’ over the weekend while attending an LA Clippers basketball game.
– E! News
★ And actress Paula Patton (38) is said to be still considering what to do about her marriage to pop singer Robin Thicke (36). Though she’s reportedly having second thoughts about filing for divorce, insiders say she has yet to decide whether to give her spouse of 8 years another shot. One recent report suggests she’s told him to stop trying to win her back with expensive gifts; another says she’s unhappy with his public declarations of love for her, like during his recent gig at NYC’s Madison Square Garden. Clearly, the lines are still blurred.
– TMZ.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Lucius (“Wildwoman”).
• “Daily Show With Jon Stewart” (Comedy Central/CTV) – Gibby Haynes (Butthole Surfers).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – The Belle Brigade (“Just Because”, out today).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – A musical tribute to Johnny Cash.
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Aloe Blacc (“Lift Your Spirit”).
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Benmont Tench (“You Should Be So Lucky”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Shakira (“Shakira”, released today).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV) – Advisers Aloe Blacc, The Band Perry, Miranda Lambert, and Jill Scott again offer help to the competitors.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Coldplay – Guitarist Guy Berryman is engaged, according to a new UK report. Word has it he proposed to girlfriend Keshia Gerrits last month after 2 years of dating and they’re now putting plans together for a wedding in London.
• Elton John – Today his classic “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road” is being reissued in various configurations including CD, vinyl, limited-edition yellow vinyl, and in a box set. The box set includes the 1973 film “Elton John & Bernie Taupin Say Goodbye to Norma Jean and Other Things”, plus a 100-page illustrated book. (See Today’s Celebirthdays.)
• The Hold Steady – Today they release “Teeth Dreams”, their first album since 2010’s “Heaven Is Whenever”. The band has already played a handful of tour dates in support of the new album.
• Johnny Cash – A ‘lost’ album by the late country icon is slated for release today. “Out Among the Stars” was recorded in the early ‘80s but never released. It was discovered last year in family archives by Johnny’s son, John Carter Cash.
• Merle Haggard – Today a 45th anniversary edition of the country legend’s classic album “Okie From Muskogee” is out. The original live album was released shortly after the hit single of the same name in December 1969.
• My Chemical Romance – Today the defunct band releases a greatest hits package aptly titled “May Death Never Stop You”. The album includes some previously unreleased material, such as the “Attic Demos”, plus one of the last songs they worked on together in the studio.
• “Rio 2: Music From the Motion Picture” – Today’s release of the soundtrack to the upcoming  animated movie (April 11th) includes “What Is Love” by Janelle Monáe and the song “Welcome Back” by Bruno Mars, who makes his bigscreen debut in the pic voicing the character ‘Roberto’.
• Shakira – Her self-titled new album is out today , which she describes as a ‘little bit of rock, a little bit of folk, a little reggae and naturally some dance – but as always, and above all, a lot of heart’. A Deluxe Edition exclusive to Target stores includes 3 bonus tracks.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
Out today on Netflix, Google Play and/or other video providers …
• “Delivery Man” ( PG-13 Comedy ): In Canadian director Ken Scott’s remake of his comedy “Starbuck”, Vince Vaughn plays an affable underachiever who finds out he’s fathered 533 children through anonymous donations to a fertility clinic 20 years earlier. After they file a lawsuit to learn his identity he must decide whether to come forward. Co-stars Cobie Smulders.
• “Walking With Dinosaurs 3-D” ( PG Family Animation ): A bigscreen adaptation of the BBC mini-series that went on to become an ongoing TV series. A realistic depiction of what it was like when dinosaurs ruled the Earth. Voice cast includes Charlie Rowe, Karl Urban, Angourie Rice, John Leguizamo.
• “The Wolf of Wall Street” ( R-Rated Dramedy ): Based on the memoir of Jordan Belfort, director Martin Scorsese’s film stars Leonardo DiCaprio as a crooked, decadent stockbroker in this riotously entertaining and irreverent 3-hour adaptation. Co-stars Jonah Hill, Margot Robbie, Kyle Chandler, Rob Reiner, and Joanna Lumley.
• Also released today: “Californication: The 6th Season” (TV); “Continuum: Season 2” (TV); “Here’s Lucy: The Complete Series” (Classic TV); “Little House On the Prairie: Season 1” (Classic TV); “Mystery Science Theater 3000: XXIX” (TV); and “Veep: The Complete 2nd Season” (TV).

HOW TO MAKE YOUR FLIGHT ATTENDANT LIKE YOU:
Want better service? Here’s how to get it …
✓ Say hi back. How’d you like to greet 50 people in-a-row and be rewarded with complete silence?
✓ Boarding is the most stressful part of the job. Make it easier by exhibiting courtesy and common sense.
✓ Listen to the safety demo. Put down your iPad and Kindle. It’s just polite.
✓ Headphones off when they’re asking for your order so they don’t have to repeat it 3 times.
✓ Be specific when ordering coffee or tea: specify milk or no milk, sweetener or not. It’s faster.
✓ Say please and thank-you. Common courtesy will get you treated extra well.
✓ Donate your current magazines to the crew. Flight attendants love to read when on break.
✓ Bring a few cheap pens to donate. Passengers are always asking flight attendants for one.
✓ Stay out of the aisles, especially when serving carts are brought out. Watch your knees, your feet, or your carry-on don’t create a tripping hazard.
✓ Tell the airline. If a flight attendant offers exceptional service, ask for their employee number and note the flight number.
– AirfareWatchdog.com

STRESS BY GENDER:
Men and women don’t react to stress the same way, according to new research from Italy’s  International School for Advanced Studies. Stress makes men become more egocentric and self-centered but causes women to become more social. It seems men have trouble separating their own emotions from those of the people around them, while women receive more external support as they interact better with others when under stress. On a physical level, the discrepancy could be caused by oxytocin, the hormone connected with social behaviors. Other studies have shown that women produce more oxytocin in stressful situations than men. (Bottom line: Women talk, men do not.)
– HuffingtonPost.com

LIFE’S A BEACH:
World’s best beaches, according to the 2nd annual ‘Travelers’ Choice Awards for Beaches’ …
10. Playa Norte, Isla Mujeres, Mexico.
9. Rhossili Bay, Swansea, Wales.
8. Lanikai Beach, Kailua, Hawaii.
7. Anse Lazio, Praslin Island, Seychelles.
6. Playa de ses Illetes, Formentera, Spain.
5. Whitehaven Beach, Whitsunday Island, Australia.
4. Rabbit Beach, Lampedusa, Italy.
3. Flamenco Beach, Culebra, Puerto Rico.
2. Grace Bay, Providenciales, Turks & Caicos.
1. Baia do Sancho, Fernando de Noronha, Brazil.
– TripAdvisor.com

WHAT YOUR PERSONALITY SAYS ABOUT YOUR LIFESPAN:
Believe it or not, some of your most basic personality traits can determine your future health conditions, according to long-term Duke University research. For instance …
• People who were labeled as ‘conscientious’ (self-disciplined and orderly) at the age of 26 were in better health 12 years down the road compared to the less orderly individuals.
• People who were identified as ‘least conscientious’ were 45% more likely to develop a health condition by their 38th birthday, compared to 18% of the ‘most conscientious’.
• Those who seem most ‘open to experience’ (curious, imaginative, preferring variety to routine) were also healthier in later years.
(People who ride Harleys without helmets … least likely to collect a pension.)
– LiveScience.com

MOST FAMOUS CANUCKS:
Canada’s best-known people internationally, according to new MIT research based on their number of Wikipedia pages in various languages and those pages’ Historical Popularity Index (HPI) …
10. Singer Nelly Furtado.
9. Architect Frank Gehry.
8. Singer/photographer Bryan Adams.
7. Actor Michael J Fox.
6. Singer-songwriter Leonard Cohen.
5. Actress Pamela Anderson.
4. Singer Celine Dion.
3. Pop star Justin Bieber.
2. Actor Jim Carrey.
1. Singer Avril Lavigne.
(Wow, it’s 2002 all over again.)
– iVillage.ca

FOR THE RECORD:
The ‘World’s Largest Commercial Hot Dog’ has rolled out at Florida’s Miami-Dade County Fair & Exposition. The colossal frankfurter weighed 51 lbs (23 kg) by itself and took 3 hours to cook; the bun weighed another 8 lbs (3.6 kg); and the finished product was covered with oodles of ketchup, mustard, relish, and onions. Pieces of the resulting 125.5-lb (56.9 kg) behemoth were sold off for $1 each to benefit the Miami Rescue Mission. It was made by Juicy’s Outlaw Grill, which also holds the record for ‘Largest Commercially Available Burger’ (777 lb or 352.44 kg).
– “Miami Herald”

BS AMAZING FACT:
It’s often been reported that the human nose can only distinguish between 10,000 smells but that is wrong … it’s more like a trillion.
– “Smithsonian Magazine”

BS CHRONOMETER 03.25.14


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1942 [72] Aretha Franklin, Memphis TN, ‘Queen of Soul’ with 20 Grammy Awards (“Respect”, “Chain of Fools”)/1st woman in Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame (1987)

1947 [67] (Sir) Elton John (Reginald Dwight), Pinner UK, pop singer (“Candle In the Wind”, “Your Song”) who’s sold over 250 million albums & 100 million singles/Songwriters Hall of Fame (1992)/Hollywood Walk of Fame (1975)

1965 [49] Sarah Jessica Parker, Nelsonville OH, movie actress (“Sex & The City: The Movie”)/TV actress (“Sex & The City” 1998-2004)/wed to actor Matthew Broderick (1997)

1982 [32] Danica Patrick, Beloit WI, auto racing driver (“Indianapolis 500” & IndyCar Series ‘Rookie Of the Year’ 2005)/1st woman to win an Indy car race (2008 Indy Japan 300)

1984 [30] Katharine McPhee, LA CA, TV actress (“Smash” 2012-13)/pop singer (“American Idol” 2006)

1988 [26] Ryan Lewis, Spokane WA, rapper/DJ/producer (Macklemore & Ryan Lewis-“Same Love”, “Thrift Shop”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “International Day of Remembrance Of the Victims of Slavery & The Transatlantic Slave Trade”. Okay it’s a worthwhile effort and all … but wearing the button will give you a hernia!

• “International Waffle Day”, a holiday that originated in Sweden to coincide with the Christian “Feast Of the Annunciation”. It was also considered the start of Spring so it became a custom for Swedish families to celebrate both events by making waffles on this day.

• “Pecan Day”, an annual salute to the only nut tree native to North America. The word comes from Algonquian language, meaning a nut requiring a stone to crack. The proper pronunciation is ‘peh-CAHN’ not ‘PEE-can’.

• “Tolkien Reading Day”, an annual event launched by the Tolkien Society in 2003 with the aim of encouraging the reading of the works of JRR Tolkien. The March 25th date was chosen in honor of the fall of ‘Sauron’ in “Lord Of the Rings”.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2002 [12] “The Bachelor” premieres on ABC-TV (paving the way for “The Bachelorette”, “Joe Millionaire”, “Average Joe”, “My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé”, etc)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1934 [80] 1st ‘Masters’ golf tournament wraps up in Augusta GA (Horton Smith wins $1,500)

1954 [60] RCA announces it has begun producing color TV sets with 12-and-a-half inch picture tubes (retail at circa $1,000)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Legal Assistants Day
[Wed] Make Up Your Own Holiday Day
[Wed] Manatee Appreciation Day
[Thurs] Celebrate Exchange Day
[Fri] “Noah”; “Sabotage” open in movie theaters
This Week Is … RV Lifestyle Week
This Month Is … Caffeine Awareness Month

BULL’S BITS


MORE REALISTIC LINKEDIN UPDATES:
• “Your connection Gary Parsons has endorsed you! Spend 10 seconds struggling to remember who he is before giving up and reciprocating the endorsement.”
• “Anita Richard’s fantastic new job and other updates that … you’ve already deleted this haven’t you?”
• “Congratulations, we’ve successfully imported all your contacts from Gmail! You innocently clicked ‘Add Connections’ and we are now in possession of every address you’ve ever mailed.”
• “An older gentleman you contacted in 2006 about a used Corolla typewriter has accepted your invitation.”
• “Rita Simmons has indicated that you are indeed a colleague. She can’t stand to be in the same room with you, creep.”
• “Your former boss has endorsed you for the following skills: Cowardice, Betrayal, Tardiness.”
• “The 874 people in your address book who have now been randomly contacted – 3 times – about joining LinkedIn at your invitation would like to wring your neck, jerk.”
• “Join ‘LinkedIn Premium’ to see what employers are saying about your weird hairline!”
– Thanks to an idea from David Henne

PHONE STARTER:
☎ What’s your best story about sitting next to someone great (or someone terrible) on an airplane?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Life is mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: The average man buys one of THESE every second year.
Answer: A new belt.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The difference between a winner and a loser is a winner plays until he wins.

Exit mobile version