BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ The green slime flowed freely at the “Kids’ Choice Awards” on Saturday night, where boyband One Direction and actress-singer Ariana Grande took home orange blimps handed out by kid cable channel Nickelodeon. Shot from canons, bursting forth from geysers and babbling in a river across the stage, everything and everyone, even ‘un-slimable’ host Mark Wahlberg, were soaked by the green stuff. But 1D, who won both ‘Favorite Music Group’ and ‘Favorite Song’ for “Story of My Life”, avoided the slime by accepting their awards from London where they are preparing for an upcoming tour.
– Canoe.ca
★ Just as the season finalé aired last night, AMC has confirmed there will be a “Walking Dead” spinoff. Writer-producer Dave Erickson (“Sons of Anarchy”) will join “Dead” creator Robert Kirkman to work on the show which will focus on a completely new cast in a new location. The still-untitled series was previously rumored to be a prequel that would detail events leading up to the main series’ apocalyptic storyline. But no one in the know is hinting at what the new show will be about other than the fact it won’t technically be a ‘spinoff’, more of a ‘companion series’.
– RollingStone.com
★ And movie star Nicole Kidman wasn’t particularly popular on the set of her new film, “The Railway Man” (opening April 11th). On top of all the expected grumbles (she was rather aloof; she had exacting rules for everything, even including where and how her clothes should be laid out in wardrobe, etc) there was one we’d never heard before. The crew reportedly claims they couldn’t film scenes too early on location in Scotland as Nicole’s collagen fills need time to warm up sufficiently so she can move her face properly.
– PopBitch.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Arsenio Hall” (syndicated) – Wiz Khalifa (“Blacc Hollywood”, coming later this year).
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC) – Each contestant dances to a song that encompasses an important time in his or her life.
• “How I Met Your Mother” (CBS) – It’s the series finalé after 9 seasons. Co-creator Carter Bays jokes that there’s “as much crying in the finalé as possible, so that there’s very little acting involved.”  A CBS-TV rep confirms ‘The Girl With the Yellow Umbrella’, the actress playing the mother and future bride of ‘Ted’ (Josh Radnor), is Cristin Milioti.
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Joan Jett & The Blackhearts (“Unvarnished”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Manchester Orchestra (“Cope”, out Tuesday).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – In the 2nd phase of the ‘Battles Round’, the remaining contestants are paired off to perform the same song separately in a sudden-death match; Coldplay frontman Chris Martin appears as a ‘universal advisor’ to all 4 coaches. (Martin recorded his musical sessions with the singers … pre-marital breakup.)

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Avicii – The Swedish DJ has been hospitalized in Miami FL suffering severe abdominal pain, nausea, and fever from a blocked gall bladder (ouch!). That caused the cancellation of his 5-night stand at the SLS South Beach hotel and his Saturday gig at Ultra Music Festival.
• Black Sabbath – Tonight in Brooklyn NY they kick off  a new leg of North American tour dates. The trek runs up to April 26th in LA, with the majority of the shows taking place across Canada.
• Coldplay –Chris Martin & Gwyneth Paltrow’s ‘conscious uncoupling’ shouldn’t be a huge surprise. In 2010 they bought adjoining houses with a plan to knock through walls – but never actually did – meaning they could lead separate lives from the comfort of their own home(s).
• Florida Georgia Line – They’re atop the ‘Billboard Hot Country Songs’ chart again this week with “This is How We Roll” f/Luke Bryan.
• Miley Cyrus – Skidmore College, a private liberal arts school in Saratoga Springs NY, is incorporating the “Wrecking Ball” singer in their course catalogue with a new class called “The Sociology of Miley Cyrus: Race, Class, Gender, and Media”. (No ‘Tongue Anatomy’?)
• Serena Ryder – The Toronto singer-songwriter was named ‘Artist Of the Year’ at the Juno Awards, beating out heavyweight contenders Celine Dion, Drake, Michael Buble, and Robin Thicke. Ryder also co-hosted the annual Canadian music awards last night in Winnipeg MB.

HOME OF THE PICK-ME-UP SHUT DOWN:
Le Beccherie restaurant in Treviso, Italy is closing its doors today because of its dwindling clientele, a result of the country’s financial crisis. It was in the 1970s that the eatery first came up with its signature dish, combining ladyfingers, eggs, sugar, mascarpone cheese, and cocoa to create the now world-famous dessert ‘tiramisu’. The creamy coffee-flavored dessert’s name, translated, means ‘pick-me-up’. The landmark restaurant opened almost 75 years ago, on September 1st, 1939, the day World War II began. (It’s a sad dessert day today.)
– “Corriere della Sera”

PLAY BALL! EAT CRAP!
Today is officially opening day for the 2014 Major League Baseball season. One of the sport’s big attractions aside from on-field play is the unique food sold in ballparks. Some highlights …
• Arizona Diamondbacks – ‘The D-Bat’, an 18-inch corn dog filled with cheese, bacon, and jalapenos, served on a bed of fries ($25); ‘The Venom Dog’, a foot-long habanero sausage with beans, guacamole, and sour cream ($10).
• Baltimore Orioles – Boog’s BBQ. Boog Powell’s baseball career (1961-77) was impressive, but his barbecue has created a fan base all its own.
• Kansas City Royals – ‘Cheesy Corn Brisket-acho’. Tortilla chips smothered with brisket, cheesy corn, baked beans, coleslaw, and BBQ sauce. Erp.
• Milwaukee Brewers – The Plaza Grill’s ‘The Beast’, a hotdog, inside a brat, wrapped in bacon, on a pretzel roll.
• NY Yankees – New Yorkers say you just gotta try the ‘Meatball Parm Sandwich’.
• Texas Rangers – Fry Depot’s ‘Garlic Fries’. Rangers fans may have occasional problems with an opposing team, but they never, ever have trouble with vampires.
• Washington Nationals – ‘Ben’s Chili Bowl Half-Smoke Sausage’, a favorite of some guy named Obama.
– Adapted from USAToday.com

STRANGE STYLE STATEMENT:
If you are a man in North Korea, we sincerely hope you have a round face. It’s the shape that will work with your new haircut. That new ‘do is reportedly called the ‘Dear Leader Kim Jong Un’, modeled after – you guessed it – North Korean leader Kim Jong-un’s impenetrable block of black hair with buzzed off sides alongside his chubby cheeks. The style reportedly became a state-mandated guideline about 3 weeks ago. Last year, North Korea limited the range of men’s hairstyles to 10 and women’s to 18. Kim’s father and predecessor Kim Jong-il once initiated a program that suggested ‘long hair sucks nutrients from people’s brains’. (Observers say the new style is aesthetically similar to an earlier one known as the ‘Chinese Smuggler Haircut’.)
NET: http://tinyurl.com/k6ppmsu
– Mashable.com

THE NEW “FLAPPY BIRD”:
If you haven’t heard of the “2048” app yet, you will. The numbers puzzle shot to the top of the app download chart last week and has been the talk of the Internet. Like the “Flappy Bird” craze earlier this year, it’s already produced dozens of clones. The app is like “Candy Crush Saga”, in that you match numbers by sliding them across a board, but unlike other popular mobile games it’s purely numbers based, more akin to “Sudoku” than character-based apps like “Angry Birds”. 19-year-old Italian student Gabriele Cirulli first posted an altered version of the previous game “Threes” early this year on his website, dubbing it “2048”. Then app developer Ketchapp released its “2048” app March 18th, and has since been honored with tons of clone variations. (Here goes another several-hundred hours of your time that you can never get back.)
– @JeffersonGraham

BS AMAZING FACT:
Ukraine’s navy is equipped with ‘combat sea lions’. (“C’mon boys, bark at those Russians!”)
– CNN.com

BS CHRONOMETER 03.31.14

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1943 [71] Christopher Walken, Queens NY, creepy movie actor (“Hairspray”, 1979 Oscar-“The Deer Hunter”)  UP NEXT: The movie version of “Jersey Boys”, opening June 20th.

1949 [65] Al Gore, Washington DC, environmental activist/45th US Vice President (1993-2001)

1955 [59] Angus Young, Glasgow, Scotland, short-panted rock guitarist (AC/DC-“Rock ‘n Roll Train”, “Moneytalks”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2003)

1971 [43] Ewan McGregor, Crieff, Scotland, movie actor (“August: Osage County”, “Moulin Rouge”)  COMING UP: Co-stars with Natalie Portman in the Western “Jane Got a Gun”, opening August 29th.

1971 [43] Bob Crawford, Memphis TN, folk-rock bassist (Avett Bros-“Morning Song”, “I and Love and You”)

1982 [32] Ryland Blackinton, South Kingstown RI, pop-punk guitarist (Cobra Starship-“You Make Me Feel …”, “Good Girls Go Bad”)

1983 [31] 40 (Noah Shebib), Toronto ON, hip-hop producer/audio engineer (Drake, Lil Wayne, Beyoncé, Alicia Keys, Jamie Foxx)/co-founder of Drake’s October’s Very Own (OVO) label

1984 [30] Jack Antonoff, Bergenfield NJ, indie rock guitarist (fun.-“Some Nights”, “We Are Young”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Clams-On-the-Half-Shell Day”. (Tonight is ‘Pass-the-Upchuck-Bucket Night’.)
• “Farm Workers Day”, encouraging us to thank agricultural laborers for their role in growing what we eat. (And say thanks for migrating from Latin America or the Caribbean to do so.)
• “She’s Funny That Way Day”, paying tribute to the female funny bone. How do the women in your life make you laugh? Ask for quirky things that funny ladies do.
• “Sleep Apnea Awareness Day”, drawing attention to the disorder characterized by pauses in breathing or instances of shallow or infrequent breathing during sleep. Each pause in breathing, called an apnea, can last from at least 10 seconds to several minutes.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1999 [15] Sibling writing/directing team of Andy & Larry (now Lana) Wachowski release the sci-fi blockbuster “The Matrix”, starring Keanu Reeves (the ensuing 3-movie franchise chalks up over $1.6 billion in worldwide box office)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1994 [20] Madonna uses the ‘F-bomb’ 13 times on “Late Show With David Letterman”

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2007 [07] 2.2 million people take part in the 1st “Earth Hour” in Sydney, Australia

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1995 [19] Major League Baseball players are sent back to work after the longest strike in baseball history (began August 12, 1994, causing cancellation of the World Series)

BS MONTHLY PLANNING CALENDAR …
[Apr 1] April Fools Day / “The Mindy Project” Spring debut (FOX) / International Tatting Day / Fun at Work Day / St Stupid Day
[Apr 2] 2014 Grammys On the Hill Awards (Washington DC) / International Children’s Book Day / Day of Hope / Ferret Day / Paraprofessional Appreciation Day / Love Your Produce Manager Day / Peanut Butter & Jelly Day / Walking Day / Reconciliation Day / Whole Grain Sampling Day / World Autism Day
[Apr 3] “Captain America: The Winter Soldier” opens in movie theaters / Don’t Go to Work Unless It’s Fun Day / Find a Rainbow Day / Sow the Seeds of Greatness Day / World Party Day
[Apr 4] “Island of Lemurs: Madagascar” opens in movie theaters / NCAA March Madness Festival begins (Dallas TX) / Hospital Admitting Clerks Day / International Day for Mine Awareness / Walk to Work Day / Victims of Violence Day / Vitamin C Day / World Rat Day
[Apr 5] International Pillow Fight Day / Deep Dish Pizza Day / Love Our Children Day
[Apr 6] “Games of Thrones” season debut (HBO) / “Academy of Country Music Awards” (CBS) / “Turn” series debut (AMC) / New Beers Eve / Drowsy Driver Awareness Day / Hostess Twinkie Day / International Day of Sport for Development & Peace / Student Athlete Day / Tartan Day
[Apr 7] NCAA Men’s Basketball Championship Game (Arlington TX) / International Beaver Day / Metric System Day / Beer Day / No Housework Day / World Health Organization Day
[Apr 8] Buddha Day / International Roma Day / Trading Cards For Grown-ups Day / Be Kind to Lawyers Day
[Apr 9] Cherish an Antique Day / Former POW Recognition Day
[Apr 10] Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Induction (Brooklyn NY) / SPCA Day / Farm Animals Day / Sibling Day
[Apr 11] “Draft Day”; “Oculus”; “Rio 2” open in movie theaters / Coachella Festival begins (Indio CA) / Barbershop Quartet Day / Day of Silence / Pet Day / World Parkinson’s Disease Day
[Apr 12] Grilled Cheese Sandwich Day / International Day of Human Space Flight / Baby Massage Day / International Day for Street Children / Licorice Day / Slow Art Day / Walk on Your Wild Side Day
[Apr 13] “MTV Movie Awards” (MTV) / “Mad Men” season debut (AMC) / Global Day to End Child Sexual Abuse / Scrabble Day / World Youth Day
[Apr 14] Passover begins (Jewish) / Dictionary Day / Global Day of Action on Military Spending / International Moment of Laughter Day / Dolphin Day / Pecan Day / Pan American Day / Pathologists Assistant Day
[Apr 15] Bicycle Day / Equal Pay Day / US Income Tax Pay Day / Rubber Eraser Day / Take a Wild Guess Day / That Sucks Day / World Art Day / Library Workers Day / One Day Without Shoes / Full Moon
[Apr 16] “Heaven is For Real” opens in movie theaters / Bookmobile Day / Healthcare Decisions Day / Stress Awareness Day / Save the Elephant Day
[Apr 17] Bat Appreciation Day / Blah! Blah! Blah! Day / Ford Mustang Day / High Five Day / Ask an Atheist Day / Haiku Poetry Day / Nothing Like a Dame Day / Support Teen Literature Day
[Apr 18] “Bears”; “A Haunted House 2”; “Trailer Park Boys 3: Don’t Legalize It”; “Transcendence” open in movie theaters / Good Friday (Christian) / Adult Autism Day / Columnists Day / Golf Day / Pet Owners Independence Day / International Amateur Radio Day / Wear Your Pajamas to Work Day
[Apr 19] Auctioneers Day / Husband Appreciation Day / Garlic Day / Hanging Out Day / Record Store Day
[Apr 20] Easter Sunday (Christian) / Chinese Language Day / Pot Smokers Day
[Apr 21] Boston Marathon / Bulldogs are Beautiful Day / Kindergarten Day / Surprise Drug Test Day
[Apr 22] Earth Day / Girl Scout Leaders Day / Jelly Bean Day / Teach Your Children to Save Day
[Apr 23] “Golden Gods Awards” (LA CA) / English Language Day / Movie Theatre Day / Talk Like Shakespeare Day / World Book & Copyright Day / Administrative Professionals Day
[Apr 24] Take Our Daughters & Sons to Work Day (USA) / World Meningitis Day
[Apr 25] “Brick Mansions”; “The Other Woman”; “The Quiet Ones” open in movie theaters / Stagecoach Country Music Festival begins (Indio CA) / New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival begins (New Orleans LA) / Arbor Day / DNA Day / Hairstylists Appreciation Day / Plumbers Day / Hairball Awareness Day / Malaria Awareness Day / Red Hat Society Day
[Apr 26] Audubon Day / Hug an Australian Day / Go Birding Day / Help a Horse Day / Herb Day / Kids & Pets Day / Pretzel Day / World Penguin Day / Save the Frogs Day / Sense of Smell Day / World Day for Lab Animals / World Intellectual Property Day / World Veterinary Day / World Tai Chi & Qigong Day
[Apr 27] Holocaust Remembrance Day / Mother, Father Deaf Day / Pet Parents Day
[Apr 28] Biological Clock Day / Workers Memorial Day / World Day For Safety & Health at Work
[Apr 29] Day of Remembrance For Victims of Chemical Warfare / International Dance Day / World Wish Day
[Apr 30] CRA Income Tax deadline (Canada) / Adopt a Shelter Pet Day / International Guide Dogs Day / International Jazz Day / Honesty Day / Spank Out Day / Walpurgis Night

BULL’S BITS

BEST OF BS:
A highlight bit culled from 20 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
COCKNEY RHYMING SLANG:
In the part of London that speaks the Cockney dialect, the vocabulary of rhyming slang is constantly evolving. Witness …
• Sheryl Crow … Snow (“Wear your rubbers, we’ve got an inch of Sheryl Crow!”)
• Watford Gap … Crap (“I don’t care what you say, that tune’s a piece of Watford Gap.”)
• Dancing Bears … Stairs (“I fell down the dancing bears and bonked my noggin.”)
• Fat Boy Slim … Gym (“I’m going to work out at the Fat Boy Slim.”)
• George and Zippy … Nippy or cold. (“It’s a bit George and Zippy out there this morning!”)
• Mariah Carey … Scary (“Dawn of the Dead is real Mariah Carey in parts.”)
• Liza Minnelli … Telly or television (“I’m too pooped to go out, what’s on the Liza?”)
• Uncle Toby … Moby or mobile phone. (“Get off your Uncle Toby and drive, moron!”)
• Marilyn Manson … Handsome (“Lovely plaid jacket, you’re looking Marilyn Manson today.”)
• French Egg (un oeuf) … Enough (“Stop the karaoke, I’ve had a French egg!”)
• Would you Adam and Eve it? … Would you believe it? (“I’ve won 5-pound in the lotto, would you Adam and Eve it?”)
NET: http://www.cockneyrhymingslang.co.uk
– First published in “BS” 2004.
NET: http://www.FreeRadioPrep.com

BS RANDOM JOKE:
An E-flat, a G-flat, and a B-flat walk into a bar and the bartender says: “I’m sorry, we don’t serve minors.”

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ Let’s say you have to spend this Summer, at whatever age you are now, working one of your early Summer jobs. Which job would you choose, and do you think you’d enjoy it?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: According to a recent job-seeking survey, people who put THIS on their résumé are less likely to get the job.
Answer: A cutesy email address. (ie: MyHeartIsYours@home.com)

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment.

NOW ON OUR SHEET LIST:
Chad @ Continuous Country 106.7 [KJUG] Tulare CA; Randy Hendrix @ HITZ 104-9 [KCRZ] Visalia CA; Kenny Jones @ Radio 2 Dubai/Abu Dhabi UAE; Jordan Hemingway @ Real Radio, Manchester UK; PJ Pantaleo @ “PJ & Friends” webcast, Orlando FL; and Dakota Blaise Chacon @ The Rock St Louis [rockstlouis.com] St Louis MO.