The Bull Sheet

March 7, 2017

Tuesday, March 7, 2017 – Edition: #5926

Bully For You!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ “Gilmore Girls” may be revived for more episodes following the popularity of its reboot on Netflix. The original series starring Lauren Graham and Alexis Bledel ran 2000-07 and was revived with the 4-episode “Gilmore Girls: A Year In the Life”, which premiered on the streaming service last November. Netflix is now in preliminary talks with the show’s creators Amy Sherman-Palladino and Dan Palladino. about bringing the program back once again. The revival left fans wanting more, especially considering the final 4 words revealed that ‘Rory’ is pregnant.
– Press Association
★ Brit actor Dan Stevens says he’s “still apologizing” to fans for his shocking “Downton Abbey” exit. The 34-year-old starred as ‘Matthew Crawley’ in the hit ITV/PBS period drama from its beginning in 2010 up to the 2012 Christmas special, when his character was killed off in a car crash. Many thought it was his decision to leave the show and move on to Hollywood, but Stevens claims it was “out of his hands”. His next role sees him starring alongside Emma Watson in the live-action remake of “Beauty & The Beast”, opening March 17th.
– “Daily Mirror”
★ And actor/comedian Marlon Wayans is reportedly in the running to replace Nick Cannon as the host of NBC-TV’s “America’s Got Talent”. Cannon quit the show last month after he was allegedly reprimanded by NBC executives for making negative remarks about the network in his stand-up routine. Show creator Simon Cowell is now said to be considering Wayans, plus comedians Tone Bell and Brandon Mychal Smith to replace Cannon. Other reports have suggested Ryan Seacrest wants the gig, but that’s not confirmed.
– TMZ.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Americans” (FX) – In the Season 5 debut, 1980s Soviet spies ‘Philip’ (Matthew Rhys) and Elizabeth (‘Keri Russell’) are trying to avoid exposure but their daughter ‘Paige’ (Holly Taylor) isn’t making it easy.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Hippo Campus (“Landmark”).
• Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo (Houston TX) – Since 1932 RodeoHouston has been an annual excuse for 3 weeks of top musical performances. This year’s line-up at NRG Stadium through March 26th includes: Alicia Keys, Blink-182, Brad Paisley, The Chainsmokers, Chris Young, Chris Stapleton, Dierks Bentley, Fifth Harmony, Florida Georgia Line, Luke Bryan, Meghan Trainor, Old Dominion, Sam Hunt, Thomas Rhett, and Zac Brown Band.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Justin Moore (“Kinda Don’t Care”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Reba McEntire (“Sing It Now: Songs of Faith & Hope”). Rerun.
• “Real Housewives of Toronto” (Slice) – Series debut. The exploits of Grego Minot, Joan Kelley Walker, Ann Kaplan Mulholland, Kara Alloway, Roxy Earle, and Jana Webb are sure to fascinate in ways that are both annoying and alluring.
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – Blind auditions continue.
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – Safaree (“Real Yard Vibes”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Adele – After months of speculation, she’s finally confirmed that she has indeed married her partner of several years, Simon Konecki. She made the announcement onstage in Brisbane, Australia.
• Beck – He’s shed some light on his long-awaited new album in an interview with “New York Times”. Beck says the album, previously expected out last November, will now arrive this Spring.
• Danger Mouse – The record producer (real name Brian Burton) has recruited Beck, Norah Jones, The Shins, Karen O, and Kelis among others to record cover songs from the early 1960s for the soundtrack of the Amazon series “Man In the High Castle”.
• Ed Sheeran – The singer-songwriter tells “The Sun” he likes having the option to keep his estimated 60-to-100 tattoos under wraps if the occasion calls for it. Quote: “You won’t see them on my wedding day.” He would never, he says, get any body art on his face or hands.
• Fifth Harmony – They’re promising to make their fans (known as ‘Harmonizers’) proud with their future recordings as a foursome. The girl band recently lost Camilla Cabello, who quit in December to launch a solo pop career.
• Katy Perry – She’s says she’s aiming to “redefine feminism” with her new haircut. Right.
• Future – He’s made history as the first artist to have successive #1 debuts on the ‘Billboard 200’ chart. “Hndrxx, his 6th studio album, has succeeded his self-titled release atop the chart.
• Rihanna – She travels with a case containing her own personal supply of spices. Bajan?

THIS WEEK’S VIDEO RELEASES:
Coming out on DVD, Netflix, Google Play and/or other video providers …
• “Amy Schumer: The Leather Special” ( NR Comedy ): Today Netflix releases globally a special recorded last November at Denver CO’s Bellco Theater. The premise seems to be that Amy gets even funnier when she’s wearing a leather catsuit. Schumer tackles several of her favorite topics: binge drinking, body shaming, and her relationship with her boyfriend.
• “Jackie” ( R-Rated Biographical Drama ): Following the assassination of president John F Kennedy, First Lady Jacqueline Kennedy fights through grief and trauma to regain her faith, console her children, and define her husband’s historic legacy. Stars Natalie Portman, Peter Sarsgaard, Greta Gerwig, Billy Crudup.
• “Love” (Netflix) – Friday Gillian Jacobs & Paul Rust return in the Season 2 release.
• “Moana” ( PG Animated Musical Comedy ): A young woman (voiced by Auli’i Cravalho) uses her navigational talents to set sail for a fabled island. Joining her on the adventure is her hero, the legendary demi-god ‘Maui’ (Dwayne Johnson). Voice cast also includes Rachel House, Temuera Morrison, Nicole Scherzinger.
• Also being released: “The C Word” (Cancer Documentary); “Kendra on Top: Season 4 and 5” (Reality TV); “Kikoriki: Legend Of the Golden Dragon” (Kids Animation); “The Legend of Chupacabras” (Animated Kids); “The Mama’s Family Favorites Collection” (TV Compilation); “PAW Patrol: Pups Save the Bunnies” (Kids); “Suspects, Series 5” (UK TV); and “Wentworth, Season 2” (Australian TV).

A MEASURE OF PERFORMANCE:
Sexting may be about to rise to a whole new level with the introduction of what is being billed as the first ‘smart condom’. The iCon tracks the particulars of each sexual encounter and lets users download the data to their phones and share it. It uses a nanochip and sensors embedded in an adjustable condom ring that measures size and tracks things like the number and velocity of thrusts, skin temperature, and calories burned. UK manufacturer British Condoms says it is also able to detect STDs. The iCon comes with an app and a recharger and will cost $74 when it hits the market later this year. (A whole new source of things to brag about on your Tinder profile.)
– CNET.com

TOP GOOFS & GAFFS:
A review of some 40,000 résumés has come up with the most annoying mistakes …
✗ Sloppiness – a sure sign of laziness.
✗ Overlong Summaries – particularly annoying when they include too many adjectives.
✗ Overused Buzzwords – “outside the box”, “team player”, “exceptional communicator” are trite.
✗ Overly Formal – doesn’t allow the reader to get a good sense of the applicant’s personality.
✗ Using a Template – they’re designed as a guide, not a cookie cutter.
✗ Misused ‘White Space’ – Cramming too much on a page is annoying, but so is leaving oceans of blank space with words justified to one side.
✗ Overlong Contact Info – Condense your name, phone number, and email to 1 line. No address is necessary.
– BusinesInsider.com

GROOMING GROWN-UPS:
Here’s a new Millennial trend … ‘Adulting Classes’. Know how to fold sheets? Change a tire? Cook dinner? Balance your budget? What sound like basic life skills to some may actually be novelties to others, who for whatever reason didn’t learn certain tasks generally associated with adulthood. And yes, now there are classes and meet-ups for Millennials navigating the transition to adulthood. They seem to be most popular with young women so far, and the most popular topic tends to be managing money, perhaps not a surprise given the school debt weighing down many Millennials. (Don’t laugh, when it comes to learning to be an adult … it beats the ‘School of Hard Knocks’.)
– NPR.org

COCONUT JERKY, SERIOUSLY:
Here’s a food product you likely had no idea existed … Cocoburg’s Coconut Jerky. What the hell is this: coconut-flavored meat or well-seasoned fruit leather? As it turns out, it’s an odd mix of the two. It’s a true vegan jerky (also gluten and soy-free), made from the fruit-flesh of coconuts. The flavor is savory, but not overly seasoned and spicy like many jerkies. The consistency is soft yet firm, without being overly chewy or dried out. You can scoop up the original variety, or go for the ‘Chili Lime’ (Thai-spiced with tropical citrus fruit flavors) or ‘Ginger Teriyaki’ (umami flavor with hints of teriyaki and a kick of ginger). Bags of Coconut Jerky go for $5.99. (Guys have voted jerky their #1 road-trip snack, but are guys going to snack on this stuff?)
– Refinery29.com

FOR THE RECORD:
Air India has applied for an entry in “Guinness World Records” for the 1st journey around-the-world operated by an all-female crew. The flight departed from New Delhi, flew to San Francisco, then returned to the Indian capital. The Boeing 777 flew over the Pacific Ocean on its trip to the US and its return flight was over the Atlantic, thereby encircling the globe. Check-in and ground staff, the engineers who certified the aircraft. and the air traffic controllers who authorized departure and arrival were also all women. Air India says it will operate other flights with all-women teams as part of “International Women’s Day” tomorrow.
– BBC News

BS AMAZING FACT:
A quarter of all McDonald’s Filet-o-fish sandwiches are sold during Lent.
– TIME.com

BS CHRONOMETER 03.07.17

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1956 [61] Bryan Cranston, Canoga Park CA, TV actor (“Breaking Bad” 2008-13, “Malcolm In the Middle” 2000-06)/movie actor (“Trumbo”, “Argo”)

1970 [47] Rachel Weisz, London UK, movie actress (“The Light Between Oceans”, “The Constant Gardener”)

1973 [44] Jay Duplass, New Orleans LA, TV actor (“Transparent” since 2014, “The Mindy Project” since 2012)

1974 [43] Tobias Menzies, London UK, TV actor (“Outlander” since 2014, “Game of Thrones” since 2013)

1974 [43] Jenna Fischer, Fort Wayne IN, TV actress (“The Office” 2005-13)/movie actress (“Hall Pass”, “Blades of Glory”)

1975 [42] TJ Thyne, Boston MA, TV actor (‘Dr Jack Hodgins’ on “Bones” since 2005)

1980 [37] Laura Prepon, Watchung NJ, Netflix TV actress (‘Alex Vause’ on “Orange Is the New Black” since 2013, “That ’70s Show” 1998-2006)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Be Heard Day”, a time for entrepreneurs, small business owners, and solo professionals to find their voice, tell their story, and be heard.

• “Cereal Day”, a day to share in the delights of crunchy ‘n crispy breakfast cereals. Celebrated on the anniversary of the world’s first corn flakes being served to Dr John Kellogg’s sanatarium patients in Battle Creek, Michigan (1897).
NET: http://www.lavasurfer.com/cereal-guide.html

• “Go Commando Day”, a tongue-in-cheek observance when we’re supposed to forego wearing underwear. Perhaps created by some laundry-challenged single guy out of necessity?

• “Unique Names Day”. Lots of directions to go with this besides unique personal names …
– Unusual Placenames (Bastardo, Italy; Bird-in-Hand PA, Blow Me Down NL, Boring OR, Catbrain UK; Intercourse PA; Mooselookmeguntic Lake ME; St Loius du Ha-Ha! QC)
– Weird Affectionate Names (Captain Flaccid, Speedy Gonzalez, Quick-Draw McGraw, Thumbelina, Tiny Tim, Tiddly Winks)
– Suggested Band Names (The Backhair Boys; ; Flash ‘N Da-Pan; The Music Industry Puppets; Puber-T)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2007 [10] A British movie theater allows a patron to propose to his girlfriend with a 3-minute video inserted among the trailers before the main feature (unfortunately, she was at the snack bar … kidding)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2014 [03] After completing treatment for an eating disorder, Ke$ha drops the ‘$’ from her stage name and changes her Twitter handle from @Ke$haSuxx to @KeshaRose (Rose is her middle name)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2010 [07] Kathryn Bigelow (“The Hurt Locker”) becomes the 1st female director to win an Oscar

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1992 [25] ‘World’s Largest Crêpe’ is fried and flipped in Bloemfontein, South Africa (41 feet, 2 inches in diameter; an inch-and-a-half deep; weighing 5,908 lbs)

2015 [02] Drake places an astounding 14 songs in the ‘Billboard Hot 100’ singles chart, thanks to the release of his mixtape “If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late” (The Beatles are the only other act to accomplish this, in 1964)

COMING UP . . .
[Wed] General Strike: A Day Without a Woman
[Wed] “Survivor” season premiere (CBS/Global)
[Wed] Discover What Your Name Means Day
[Wed] Registered Dietitian Day
[Thurs] Get Over It Day
[Thurs] World Kidney Day
This Week Is … Words Matter Week
This Month Is … International Listening Awareness Month

BULL’S BITS

MORE BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANITY:
✓Do pigs have pen pals?
✓ Why are toenail clippers bigger than fingernail clippers when toenails are smaller than fingernails?
✓ How many people thought of the Post-It note before it was invented but just didn’t have anything to jot it down on?
✓ What would you get if you mated a bulldog and a shitsu?
✓ How does a shelf retailer keep her store from looking empty?
✓ How come overtones and undertones are the same thing?
✓ What would you use to dilute water?
✓ What do you call a male ladybug?
✓ Can you grow birds by planting birdseed?
✓ Is it progress if a cannibal learns to eat with a fork?

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ Which classic baby names will stand the test of time?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 1-in-5 married men refer to their wives by THIS name when talking to other men.
Answer: ‘The Boss’.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Always be sincere, even when you don’t mean it.

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