Monday, March 22, 2021 – Edition: #6949

Have Another Sheetload!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Johnny Depp’s Hollywood Hills pad has apparently been a hot spot for unwelcome visitors this year … and police say the latest one really made himself at home. Cops were called to Depp’s residence Thursday by a neighbor who spotted an apparently homeless man hanging out in the neighbor’s backyard near the pool. The neighbor said the man took off when confronted and hopped a gate, which brought him closer to Depp’s house. Shortly afterward, police were called again, this time by Depp’s security team, alerting them someone was inside his home. When cops arrived, they found the man taking a shower, and he refused to come out. So, police kicked the door down to arrest him. The intruder also allegedly got into Depp’s booze stash and made himself a drink. A source says he was booked for felony vandalism due to a damaged door. In January, police arrested a female intruder on suspicion of burglary at Depp’s home.
-TMZ
★ Still reeling from the death of a member of the show’s audio crew, the ABC comedy “The Conners” filmed its Season 3 finale in his memory, according to co-star Michael Fishman, who plays D.J. Conner on the show. He shared a tribute to their late colleague originally posted by director Jody Margolin Hahn, which said: “Yesterday, we lost a dear member of our audio crew, Terrel Richmond. Today, we shoot our final episode of The Connors Season 3 in loving memory of a lovely man.” The post was accompanied by a shot of the clapboard from the Season 3 finale, with “In memory of Terrell” written at the top.  Richmond died on set Thursday after a “fatal medical event.”
-Deadline
★ Sharon Stone made one of the most famous movie scenes ever, in “Basic Instinct”, but she says she was duped into it — and was furious about it. Stone writes about her ups and downs in Hollywood in her new memoir “The Beauty of Living Twice”. An excerpt on Vanity Fair details her difficult experience playing ‘Catherine Tramell’ in the 1992 film, including how she was directed to remove her underwear for the film’s infamous scene under the pretense it would not be visible on film. However, that turned out not to be the case, and she and her attorney discussed taking legal action to prevent the film’s release.  film.
-Yahoo
★ Get out your best Hawaiian shirt and pink tutu because “Ace Ventura 3” is officially in the works. In an announcement no one saw coming, the production company behind the first two Jim Carrey-led Ace Ventura films, Morgan Creek, revealed they were developing a third installment with Amazon. It looks like Carrey will be teaming up again with writers Pat Casey and Josh Miller after their work together on “Sonic” last year. “Sonic the Hedgehog 2” has already begun filming, meaning Ace Ventura 3 might be Carrey’s next project after that film wraps.
-Collider

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Lionel Richie, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Chesca featuring De La Ghetto and Offset (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Tracee Ellis Ross, Andy Cohen, Aaron Frazer
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Robert Downey Jr., Walter Isaacson, Sebastián Yatra & Guyanaa
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Ken Jeong, Eddie Izzard, Griff, Ash Soan
• ” The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): David Tennant, Joy Downer
• “Conan” (TBS): Nicole Byer (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Natasha De Bourg, Hannah Ferrier
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Cynthia Erivo, Courtney B. Vance
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Joe Manganiello, guest co-host Maria Menounos
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Steve Harvey, Meduza featuring Dermot Kennedy
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Michelle Obama, Jared Leto
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Joel McHale, Steven Bartlett
• “American Idol” (ABC): Hollywood Duets Challenge
• “Breeders” (F/X): Season 2 premiere
• “Hoarders” (A&E): Season 12 premiere
• “Seeking Sister Wife” (TLC): Season 3 premiere
• “Return to Amish” (TLC): Season 6 premiere

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Pink – Her Amazon Original Film “P!NK: All I Know So Far” will launch on Prime Video on May 21. The documentary follows her 2019 “Beautiful Trauma” world tour, on which she was accompanied by her husband Carey Hart and their 2 children.
• Justin Bieber — dropped his new album “Justice” on Friday, and it features an unusual songwriting credit — the late civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr. Bieber samples King in 2 songs, but his choice to mash up King’s speeches about racial inequality with songs that are largely about being in love with his wife struck a sour note among many online commenters.
• Lizzo — is creating a reality TV series to find big women to join her on stage. The show is the first in her deal with Amazon to develop and produce TV series. It will follow Lizzo as she searches for dynamic, full-figured dancers and models to perform with her on stage, and on the runway.
• Ringo Starr — dug into his contacts for help on the chorus of his new song ‘Here’s to the Nights’. Paul McCartney, Sheryl Crow, Dave Grohl, Lenny Kravitz, Joe Walsh, Ben Harper, Finneas, Chris Stapleton, Yola, Jenny Lewis, Corinne Bailey Rae, Steve Lukather (of Toto) and Eric Burton (of the Black Pumas) and more appear on the song. Starr’s new 5-song EP “Zoom In” came out Friday.
• Sting – says he regrets getting back together with The Police. He reunited with Andy Summers and Stuart Copeland for a 2007-08 tour, 19 years after they split. In an interview with Reader’s Digest, he said the tour was “an exercise in nostalgia”, and that’s not how he wanted to remember it.
• Kelsea Ballerini – thinks Reba McEntire would make a great President. In a recent interview, Ballerini outlined an entire dream cabinet comprised of the “First Women of Country.” She chose Dolly Parton for Vice President, and “appointed” Shania Twain Secretary of Treasury and Trisha Yearwood Secretary of Education.
• Lauren Alaina – was forced to cancel an acoustic show scheduled for Sat. in Lexington KY after testing positive for COVID-19. She posted that she is “quarantining and trying to get better!”
• The Grand Ole Opry – will release “Unbroken: Empty Room, Full Circle” on June 24. It’s a collection of performances from during the pandemic, when artists played to empty pews at the Opry for TV and radio audiences only. It will feature Keith Urban, Luke Combs, Reba McEntire, Marty Stuart and more.

SHOOTING THE BULL

TECH TALK:
Apple has been awarded a patent for “smart footwear” that would work in conjunction with a Virtual Reality headset. The footwear, expected to be either a shoe or a sock, would reportedly send haptic feedback to the user’s feet while they are in a virtual world. It could deliver different sensations, such as feelings of hot or cold, to various areas of the foot, using electromagnets, as a way of making games even more lifelike. The patent suggests force from the user’s feet will also be able to activate feelings “of resting or sliding across a tiled surface or other surface.” Apple is expected to release its VR headset next year, powered by its newly launched M1 Mac Processor, with a list price of about $1,000.
(I’d hate to be the Mom who has to tell her kid that his smart sock went missing in the laundry!)
(I hate to rain on Apple’s parade, but I’ve never seen a “real” gamer yet who wore socks!)
(So, are you betting on the iShoe, or the iSock?)
-DailyMail

GREEN, NOT BLUES:
Those who are struggling mentally during lockdown are being urged to try gardening as a way of dealing with stress, anxiety and depression. The horticulture charity Thrive says that the health benefits of gardening are extensive, both mentally and physically. Thrive is offering a free 4-week calendar of simple daily activities to help would-be gardeners connect, learn, stay active, and take notice of the natural world, in hopes of fostering mental health. CEO Kathryn Rossiter says that research shows many people’s mental health has suffered during the pandemic, and “gardening and being in nature can make a world of difference.” The organization says all it takes is 15 minutes per day.
DOWNLOAD LINK: https://www.thrive.org.uk/how-we-help/what-we-do/why-gardening-is-good-for-our-health/spring-forward-with-our-wellbeing-calendar
(I guess it all depends on what you’re planting!)
(I’ve been gardening since the beginning of the pandemic. I planted myself on the couch a year ago, and I’ve grown significantly since!)
-CountryLivingUK

WASH N’ WEAR:
A new study has found that air hand dryers spread bacteria more than paper towels. The study, conducted by researchers in the UK, found that high-speed air dryers not only leave more contamination on hands compared to paper towels, but they can also spread germs onto clothing during drying, thereby transferring more bacteria to other surfaces, including those beyond the bathroom. The study found that even if hands are washed poorly, drying them with paper towels rather than an air dryer significantly reduces the “microbial burden” of further contamination. The findings were published in Infection Control & Hospital Epidemiology.
(I suppose it depends on whether you’re the first person to use the paper towel…)
(Well, now I know I’m going to start wearing gloves to the bathroom…)
(Hang on. What did they say about drying hands directly on your pants?)
-CTV

NOT BY A LONG SHOT:
Here are some of the absurd side-effects reported by some oddballs who received a COVID-19 vaccine,  submitted as part of the Yellow Card Scheme, an online submission area to report adverse effects…
➢ Bad breath
➢ Alcohol poisoning
➢ Diet failure
➢ Flatulence
➢ Genital herpes
➢ Multiple bone fractures
➢ Breast enlargement
➢ Electric shock
➢ Premature ejaculation
➢ Being stung and/or bitten by arthropods
➢ Excessive earwax
➢ Crying, moaning or screaming
➢ Hangover
(Those last 2 might be related…)
-IFLScience, BroBible

ODDEST TEAM NAMES IN THE 2019 NCAA BASKETBALL TOURNAMENT:
⇒ Purdue Boilermakers (a boilermaker is a shot of whiskey)
⇒ Maryland Terrapins (a turtle)
⇒ Syracuse Orange
⇒ Colorado Buffaloes (not a typo, but it looks like one!)
⇒ St. Bonaventure Bonnies (attractive or good)
⇒ North Texas Mean Green
⇒ Utah State Aggies (someone from a farm)
⇒ Iona Gaels (one who speaks Gaelic)
⇒ Alabama Crimson Tide
⇒ UC Santa Barbara Gauchos (a skilled, but unruly horseman)
⇒ Virginia Tech Hokies (a wild turkey)
⇒ Tennessee Volunteers
⇒ Oklahoma Sooners (energetic, can-do individuals)
⇒ North Carolina Tar Heels (the name given to workers who produced tar)
⇒ Wichita State Shockers
(We don’t have the “TCU Horned Frogs” this year…)
(Not-so-odd names this year: 3 teams named “Mountaineers”, 2 “Raiders”, 3 “Spartans”, 2 “Bulldogs”, 2 “Cougars, 2 “Wildcats”, 4 “Tigers” and 4 “Eagles”!)
– Sourced from ESPN

DID YOU KNOW?
Spring Fever is a real physical condition which commonly occurs when a sudden warm spell follows a long cold period. When the temperature rises, the body needs to get rid of heat; thus, there’s a dilation or expansion of the blood vessels so that blood can be carried to the body surface where heat can be lost quickly. Some people experience an energetic feeling when this change happens, due to the body’s reaction to the great amount of internal work going on.
-Withgia.com

BS CHRONOMETER 03.22.21

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1931 [90] William Shatner, Montréal QC, TV actor (“Boston Legal” 2004-08, “Star Trek” 1966-69)/movie actor (“Malevolent”, “Miss Congeniality”, “Star Trek” movies)

1948 [73] (Sir) Andrew Lloyd Webber, London UK, music composer/stage producer (Tony Awards for “Phantom Of the Opera” and “Cats”, Tony & Academy Awards for “Evita”)

1948 [73] Wolf Blitzer, Augsberg Germany, CNN news anchor since 1990 (“The Situation Room”, “Wolf”)

1952 [69] Bob Costas, Queens NY, sportscaster (NBC-TV sports anchor 1980-2019, including on NFL football, Major League Baseball and Olympics)/multiple Emmy Award-winner/currently with MLB Network

1971 [50] Keegan-Michael Key, Southfield MI, comedian/actor (“Key and Peele” 2012-2015, “SuperMansion” 2015-2017)

1972 [49] Elvis Stojko, Newmarket ON, retired figure skater (3-time World champion, 2-time Olympic silver medalist, 7-time Canadian champ)

1976 [45] Reese Witherspoon, New Orleans LA, movie actress (“Legally Blonde”, Oscar-“Walk the Line”) COMING UP…“Legally Blonde 3″, 2022

1982 [39] Constance Wu, Richmond VA, TV actress (‘Jessica Huang’ on “Fresh Off the Boat” 2015-20)/movie actress (“Crazy Rich Asians”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “As Young As You Feel Day”, celebrate by having that outrageous hairstyle you wanted when you were a teenager, or dig out those clothes you wore when you were young. (If you have teenagers, you’ll shock THEM for a change!)

• “International Goof-Off Day”, a day to relax, be yourself, and generally just goof off. (In other words, … a regular day.)

• “Sing-Out Day”, a day to let fly with a special tune to let someone know how you feel. (also celebrated in May, so be warned: You may have to hear me sing twice!)

• “World Water Day”, a UN observance since 1992 emphasizing the worldwide necessity of potable drinking water and proper wastewater treatment.

• “Bavarian Crepes Day”, crepes are a delicious, very thin pancake-like dessert, typically made from wheat flour or buckwheat flour, then filled, rolled and then often topped with a glaze, fruit, chocolate or whipped cream.

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Cuddly Kitten Day
[Tues] Puppy Day
[Wed] Cocktail Day
[Wed] World Tuberculosis Day
This Week Is…National Physicians Week
This Month Is…Caffeine Awareness Month

ON THIS DATE . . .
2016 [05] The entertaining, crack-smoking former mayor of Toronto, Ontario, Rob Ford, dies of cancer at age 46

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2003 [18] Britney Spears’ girl-power flick “Crossroads” earns 8 nominations at the 23rd Golden Raspberry Awards for the year’s worst movies (she co-wins ‘Worst Actress’ with Madonna for “Swept Away”)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2009 [12] Lady Gaga’s ‘Poker Face’ becomes a #1 hit in over 20 countries

2013 [08] My Chemical Romance announces their breakup after 12 years. They reunite in 2019

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1997 [24] USA’s Tara Lipinski becomes ‘Youngest Women’s World Figure Skating Champion’ at age 14 years, 10 months

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ While spring always falls on either March 19, 20 or 21, it hasn’t arrived on March 21 since 2007, and won’t arrive on that day again for another 82 years – in 2103.
✓ Sunlight can trigger a cold-sore breakout.
✓ Facebook’s blue color scheme is due to Mark Zuckerberg’s colorblindness. Blue is the color he sees best.
✓ French poodles aren’t French. They are believed to have been bred in Germany.
✓ A 2-millimeter-thick ostrich eggshell can withstand the weight of a 158 kg (350 lb.) bird sitting on it.
✓ The earliest pacemakers required a wall outlet.
-BestLifeOnline, TimeandDate

Best of BS . . .
BS SIGNS IT’S SPRINGTIME AT THE OFFICE:
• The temperature is changing from suffocating all Winter to freezing all Summer.
• The mold in the leftover pizza box in the coffee room is in full bloom.
• Caffeine intake has increased to cope with longer days.
• The boss has had a Spring tune-up on his comb-over.
• The IT geek’s skin color is changing from translucent with a tinge of blue to pasty white.
• Street vendors out front have finally changed the hot dog water.
• More than usual, people are mating in the mail room.
-First published in BS in 2016

BS DOG PICK-UP LINES:
• “Come to this hydrant often?”
• “I know a nice out-of-the-way place where we can grab a drink out of the toilet.”
• “I’ve been trained to sniff out explosives and I can tell you’re dynamite!”
• “This kennel is so full of phonies.”
• “My friend and I have a bet. I say you’re part-Collie.”
• “Even a garden hose couldn’t stop me from loving you.”
• “Aw c’mon … I’m getting neutered tomorrow!”
-First published in BS in 2012

TODAY’S SLICE OF BS:
➠ Twitter turned 15 yesterday. Nearly a third of Americans use Twitter. (The rest can communicate in complete sentences…)
➠Happy birthday to Twitter, which turned 15 yesterday. (The only thing with 280 characters that makes less sense is “The Walking Dead”!)
➠ Welcome to Spring! (So much to be thankful for. It’s only a matter of time before we’re once again treated to sexy, shirtless photos of Vladimir Putin…)
➠ The March Madness tournament is underway. (Here’s what I know about filling out an NCAA bracket: it’s the only time that picking Harvard is the DUMB thing to do!)
➠ It’s March Madness time! (Is it me, or does ‘Gonzaga’ sound like what you’d say about someone who’s snapped? Like: “Why’s Karen running around yelling about face masks and QAnon?” “She’s gone-zaga, man. Gone-zaga.”

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
(Spring arrived in the Northern Hemisphere on Saturday…)
• Before ‘Spring’, ‘Spring time’ and ‘Springing time’, what was the season known as, based on an old English word?
a) Lent [CORRECT]
b) Advent
c) The Melting
d) Irish Spring

• According to folklore, what can we balance on the ground on the first day of Spring?
a) A stone
b) An egg [CORRECT]
c) A broom
d) Your checkbook

• When sheep get it on, it’s called ‘rutting’. What’s it called when horses get frisky?
a) Maring
b) Covering [CORRECT]
c) Blanketing
d) Giddy up!
– NewDaily, PopBitch

BS WEB GOODIE:
Bark Wars: https://tinyurl.com/9hsa9x6e

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I don’t like to drink too much coffee in the morning. If I do, I toss and turn all through the work day.

BS PHONE STARTER:
What TV advertising jingle do you remember from your childhood?  Sing it!

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  Although THIS annual activity likely dates back thousands of years, the first recorded mention of it wasn’t until 1857. What is it?
Answer:  Spring Cleaning

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The only impossible journey is the one you never begin.