Wednesday, March 18, 2020        Edition: #6657

Either Sheet or Get Off the Air!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Tom Hanks and his wife Rita Wilson have left hospital after testing positive for coronavirus. A representative for the couple confirmed that they are now self-isolating at a rented house in Australia. The world was shocked last week when Hanks announced their diagnosis, but he has since been sharing updates on social media. On Sunday, he shared a photo of a stuffed kangaroo and koala and a piece of toast thickly spread with Australian staple vegemite, thanking ‘the Helpers’. Hanks has been in Australia for pre-production of Baz Luhrmann’s untitled Elvis Presley biopic, in which he plays the singer’s longtime manager Colonel Tom Parker.
-Grazia
★ Despite the coronavirus pandemic, the annual Razzies went ahead this week. And it was no surprise which film won the most awards at the ceremony which “celebrates” the worst films of the year. “Cats” managed to win six Golden Raspberries. The film – which was panned by critics upon its release last year – won ‘worst picture’, ‘supporting actor’ (James Corden), ‘supporting actress’ (‘Rebel Wilson’) and worst screenplay. It also saw Tom Hooper win (or lose?) in the ‘worst director’ category.
-Grazia
★ Orlando Bloom has shared that, while he and Katy Perry plan to get married “very, very soon,” the ongoing coronavirus outbreak may postpone the wedding festivities. On Friday, he revealed to fans that filming on his show “Carnival Row” had been suspended and he’d flown to be home with family. Bloom has now told a newspaper that “I’m not joking when I say that coronavirus might have a play in whether we put things on ice, because we’re going to be traveling and we don’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable.” Perry announced her pregnancy in her music video for ‘Never Worn White’ on March 4.
-YahooStyle
★ Kevin Hart’s legal battle with his ex-business partners has officially been closed. A Federal judge has dismissed all claims filed by Hart against his former partners at the company Stand Up Digital. Hart accused them of owing him money from a game app they launched together, which featured him and his family as characters. Stand Up Digital sued Hart, accusing him of screwing up the phone app they worked on after he admitted to having an extra-martial affair prior to the release.
-TheBlast

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Amy Poehler, David Sedaris, SuperM (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): JJ Watt, Louis Tomlinson (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Chris Christie, Nathaniel Rateliff (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Elisabeth Moss, Richard E. Grant, Mt. Joy, Michel’Le Baptiste (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Patrick Stewart, June Diane Raphael (R)
• “Conan” (TBS): Fred Armisen (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Andy’s Favorite Divas
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Dana Loesch, guest co-host Dan Abrams
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Selena Gomez, RuPaul, Matt Bomer, Marc Santa Maria
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Kendall Jenner (R)
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Steven Weber, Tichina Arnold
• “Survivor” (CBS): The immunity challenge weighs heavily on castaways when two tribes are sent to tribal council; one castaway is acting sneaky.
• “The Masked Singer” (FOX): The five remaining celebrities from group C return for their second performances; Joel McHale joins the panelists.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Billie Eilish — has started working on her second album. Last year, her brother/collaborator Finneas O’Connell revealed that the new album would see Eilish head in an “experimental” new direction, allowing her to “evolve” her sound.
• Cardi B — DJ Snake has done a mini-remix of her coronavirus rant, which went viral last week after getting its first remix. Sample lyrics: “If you’re wondering why your weave or your fashion packages haven’t arrived, yep, that’s coronavirus. I’m telling you, (stuff) is getting real” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/sh3vy2c
• Lady Gaga – spoke to “Paper” magazine about how she used to deal with her fibromyalgia diagnosis. Quote: ”You have to radically accept that you’re not going to feel well every day…’I can go, ‘Well, my hands work; my arms work; my legs work, even though they are sore…my brain works; my heart works; I’m taking breaths, my lungs work. You can just be grateful for what you can do.’”
• Prince – His former pad above LA’s Sunset Strip has hit the market. The 10-bedroom, 13-bathroom, 18,401 sq. ft. home features a tennis court, panoramic city to ocean views, ballroom, wine room, gym/indoor sports court, 4-car garage and pool with swim-up bar and grotto. It can all be yours for $30 million. Prince rented the home in 2005 from NBA star Carlos Boozer.
• Kid Rock — The owner of “Kid Rock’s Big Ass Honky Tonk Rock N’ Roll Steakhouse” in Nashville says he is refusing to follow the Mayor’s plan to shut down all bars in the city’s tourist hot-spot during the coronavirus pandemic. Steve Smith says he will not follow the rule until a statewide mandate is issued.
• Foo Fighters — are postponing the April shows of their 2020 Van Tour as the COVID-19 pandemic continues. Dave Grohl posted: “Remember me? The guy who wouldn’t even postpone a show when my…leg was falling off? Well, playing a gig with a sock full of broken bones is one thing, but playing a show when your health and safety is in jeopardy is another.”
• The Dixie Chicks – Natalie Maines says “cancel culture” can ”ruin people’s lives”. She was very critical of former US president George W. Bush and the Iraq war in 2003, and told Ellen DeGeneres on Monday: ”I think we were one of the first people to feel that cancel culture…what I said back then – would not even be a thing today because it was really mild compared to what people say today.”
• Reba McEntire – Her mother Jacqueline McEntire died at 93 on Saturday, but it may be awhile before the family gets to say their final goodbyes. The funeral and burial have been postponed indefinitely amid concerns of the coronavirus.
• Chase Rice — isn’t happy with the way that the COVID-19 coronavirus has affected live music in the country community, and he wrote a song airing his grievances against the virus. Hear ‘Dear Corona’ here:
https://tinyurl.com/tcv3eu7

NOT ABOUT THE CORONAVIRUS:
A 20-year-old in India has had what is believed to be the world’s longest tooth extracted. Pawan Bhavsar had been suffering from jaw ache, gum swelling, and blisters in his mouth, so he paid a visit to a dentist. After an examination, the dentist decided to extract two of Bhavsar’s teeth. Nothing seemed particularly out of the ordinary until Dr Srivastava pulled out one of the teeth. At roughly 3.89 centimeters (1.53 inches), the tooth is believed to have set a new Guinness World Record for the world’s largest tooth. The current record is 3.72 centimeters (1.46 inches). For comparison, the average length of a human’s front teeth is about 2.25 centimeters (0.89 inches), around 1.63 centimeters (0.64 inches) less than Bhavsar’s tooth.
(It isn’t about the coronavirus was it WAS pretty novel!)
(I’m just glad they were able to find the root cause of the guy’s problem!)
(I can think of a few people whose mouth would have no problem accommodating that!)
-IFLScience

CORONAUPDATE:
➢ U.S. researchers gave the first shot to the first person in a test of an experimental coronavirus vaccine Monday — leading off a worldwide hunt for protection even as the pandemic surges. Scientists at the Kaiser Permanente Washington Research Institute in Seattle begin an anxiously awaited first-stage study of a potential COVID-19 vaccine developed in record time after the new virus fanned across the globe.
➢ The penguins at the Shedd Aquarium in Chicago are usually the ones being looked at, but on Sunday, they were able to get a taste of what it’s like on the other side of the glass. With the building closed to visitors due to the coronavirus, a group of rockhopper penguins were allowed to leave their habitat and explore the rest of the aquarium. The aquarium tweeted video of one of the penguins, named Wellington, meeting some fish in the Amazon exhibit. (Then he raided the washrooms for toilet paper…)
➢ The developer of the popular “Pokemon GO” game has made it easier for gamers to play the game indoors amid the coronavirus outbreak. In a tweet, Niantic Labs said: “We’re putting our focus on expanding features and experiences in our games that can be enjoyed in an individual setting and that also encourage exploration!” The changes will make it easier for gamers to collect “Pokemon GO” monsters without venturing outdoors. (Perfect. Now I can accidentally walk into walls in the comfort of my own home!)
-Time, CNBC, CNN, NYPost

HOW TO HELP YOUR FAVORITE RESTAURANT SURVIVE THE CORONAVIRUS CRISIS:
(***And a great way to give a shout-out to a loyal advertiser or 3 who are going through a trying time…***)
⇒ Go out and eat:  The restaurant industry has been taking steps to make their dining rooms, restrooms and kitchens the cleanest that they’ve ever been. And smaller crowds mean a smaller chance that you’ll catch an infection. If they are open (and allowed to be open), and you are comfortable with it, go for it.
⇒ Honor reservations:  The worst thing you can do right now is book a table and then change your mind and not show up. It’s always a bad idea, but in this environment, it will really play havoc on staff and inventory planning.
⇒ Get carryout or delivery:  Many restaurants are now offering delivery and carryout to help them through the coronavirus pandemic. So, order your meal, and don’t forget to tip.
⇒ Buy gift cards and merchandise:  Restaurants collect gift card revenue as soon as the card is purchased. Merchandise can be big profits for restaurants. They make money on t-shirts, cookbooks, mugs, water bottles, and the like. They’re walking advertisements, too.
⇒ Tip your server:  Although perhaps you’d like to send tips directly to your favorite server to offset the money they are losing by a drop in diners, the best thing to do is to show up, eat a meal, and leave a cash tip. That’s assuming, of course, that you are comfortable dining out, and are assured that the restaurant is taking proper precautions.
(#6: Don’t cough while you’re there!)
-Forbes

DID YOU KNOW?
We have all the solutions we need to avoid catastrophic climate warming right now. That’s according to a new report by “The Drawdown Review”. It estimates that by implementing the 76 solutions they’ve outlined, it would result in savings of up to around US$144 trillion of avoided climate damage and pollution-related healthcare costs. Some of Project Drawdown’s suggested solutions, like switching to LED lighting and battery storage power, create nearly immediate savings. The aim of the non-profit Project Drawdown is to guide us toward a future where the greenhouse gases in the atmosphere stop climbing and start to decline. They estimate that by enacting some of the solutions now, we could reach ‘drawdown’ by the 2040s.
-ScienceAlert

BS CHRONOMETER 03.18.20

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1959 [61] Irene Cara (Escalara), The Bronx NY, pop singer (‘Fame’, ‘Flashdance…What A Feeling’)

1963 [57] Vanessa Williams, Millwood NY, TV actress (“Ugly Betty” 2006-10, “Desperate Housewives” 2010-12)/first African-American woman to earn the title of Miss America, in 1984

1966 [54] Jerry Cantrell, Tacoma WA, alt-rock guitarist-vocalist (Alice in Chains-‘Man in the Box’, ‘Rooster’)

1970 [50] Queen Latifah (Dana Owens), Newark NJ, movie actress (“Chicago”, “Hairspray”)/TV host “The Queen Latifah Show” 2013-15)/hip hop-jazz-pop singer (‘UNITY’)

1972 [48] Dane Cook, Cambridge MA, comedian/movie actor (“Good Luck Chuck”, “Employee of the Month”)

1974 [46] Philip Sweet, Pocahontas AR, country singer (Little Big Town-‘Pontoon’, ‘Girl Crush’)

1979 [41] Adam Levine, LA CA, pop singer (Maroon 5-‘Moves Like Jagger’, ft. Cardi B-‘Girls Like You’)/TV personality (“The Voice” 2011-19)

1989 [31] Lily Collins, Guildford UK, movie actress (“Mirror, Mirror”, “The Blind Side”)/daughter of singer Phil Collins. COMING UP…”Inheritance”, 2020

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Awkward Moments Day”, a day to celebrate the humor in life’s uncomfortable and embarrassing situations … which we normally fail to see until years later (If you need me, I’ll be sitting in the corner re-living my personal top-20…).

• “Biodiesel Day”, in honor of the clean-burning fuel that can be used in any diesel engine with no conversion whatsoever. It is derived from 100% renewable resources like soybeans, canola, mustard seed, even recycled cooking oil. The day is celebrated on the anniversary of the 1858 birth of Rudolph Diesel, the German inventor of the diesel engine.

• “Forgive Mom & Dad Day”. No matter how lousy they were as parents, it’s time to let it go and get on with your life (I’m still not forgiving them for my nose…).

• “Sloppy Joe Day”,  America’s all-time favorite hot sandwich, it is often made with ground beef, onions, tomato sauce, brown sugar, cola or maple syrup to sweeten it and seasonings to spice it, all served up on a hamburger bun or roll.

• “Goddess of Fertility Day”, celebrates Aphrodite and other gods and goddesses of fertility. Aphrodite is the Greek goddess of love, beauty, pleasure, and procreation. Her Roman equivalent is the goddess Venus.

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Spring arrives (Northern Hemisphere)
[Thurs] Certified Nurses Day™
[Thurs] Client’s Day
[Fri] Alien Abduction Day
[Fri] Won’t You Be My Neighbor Day

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2009 [11] 45-year-old English actress Natasha Richardson (Mrs. Liam Neeson) dies in NYC following a head injury suffered 2 days earlier during a ski lesson at Mont Tremblant, Québec

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2002 [18] Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, The Ramones and Talking Heads are among those inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

2017 [03] Rock pioneer Chuck Berry dies at age 90

2017 [03] Katy Perry accepts the National Equality Award from the Human Rights Campaign for her work supporting LGBTQ causes. In her speech, she admits that she did more than just “kiss a girl”.

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2001 [19] Indiana Pacers’ Reggie Miller becomes the first NBA player to make 2,000 career 3-pointers after hitting 4 of them vs Sacramento (finishes career with a record 2,560)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1981 [39] Buffalo Sabres set an NHL record of 9 goals in 1 period (vs Toronto Maple Leafs)

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ The human body produces about 7 miles of hair per year.
✓ When grooming, a cat will usually clean its paws last.
✓ Sharks are the only fish that can blink.
✓ A working ballerina goes through an average of three pairs of ballet slippers per week.
✓ Chance that a pro football player will be injured at least once in his career: 100%.
✓ NASA astronaut underwear is lined with tubes of water to prevent overheating.
-BathroomReadersInstitute

Best of BS . . .
BS SELF-HELP BOOKS THAT DIDN’T SELL:
• “If at First You Don’t Succeed, Lower Your Standards”
• “Overcoming Your Superstitions in 13 Easy Steps”
• “How to Stop Shoplifting Books”
• “How to Run From Your Problems and Avoid Responsibilities”
• “Garfunkel’s Guide to Being the Popular One”
• “You Got the Wrong Self Help Book: Can’t You Do Anything Right?”
• “Counting to 10 in 10 Easy Steps”
• “Gain That Last 10 Pounds…Easily!”
• “Improving You’re Grammar”
• “Have You Considered Just Giving Up?”
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2019

BS AMISH SPRING BREAK ACTIVITIES:
• Stuff as many guys as you can into a buggy.
• Drink maple syrup until you heave.
• Wet bonnet contest.
• Get a tattoo saying “Born to Raise Barns”.
• Churn butter naked.
• Cruise the streets on a really bitchin’ Clydesdale shouting insults at people with zippers.
• Buttermilk kegger.
• Sleep in till 6am.
• Drive over to Mennonite country and kick some ass.
-First published in BS in 2017

BS WEB GOODIE:
Caughtcha!  https://tinyurl.com/tzlxgdt

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
(Spring arrives in the Northern Hemisphere tomorrow evening at 11:50…)
• Before ‘Spring’, ‘Spring time’ and ‘Springing time’, what was the season known as, based on an old English word?
a. Lent [CORRECT]
b. Advent
c. The Melting
d. Irish Spring

• According to folklore, what can we balance on the ground on the first day of Spring?
a. A stone
b. An egg [CORRECT]
c. A broom
d. Your checkbook

• When sheep get it on it’s called ‘rutting’. What’s it called when horses get frisky?
a. Maring
b. Covering [CORRECT]
c. Blanketing
d. Giddy up!
– NewDaily, PopBitch

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Face your problems, don’t Facebook them.

BS PHONE STARTER:
What food do you refuse to eat, simply because you can’t stand the taste?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  In a new survey, when asked how they would spend their time if they were stuck inside for 2 or more weeks, just 2% said they would do THIS. What is it?
Answer:  Talk to people on the phone

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.