Thursday, March 10, 2022 – Edition: #7185

Get a Load of This Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Kelly Clarkson’s divorce from Brandon Blackstock has been finalized. She’ll pay her ex a massive one-time payment of just over $1.3 million, plus $115,000 in spousal support per month until Jan. 31, 2024, and monthly child support payments of $45,601 for their 2 children. The couple agreed on joint custody, although the kids will live at Clarkson’s Los Angeles home. Another stipulation of the agreement is that both kids will be vaccinated against COVID-19, as they will be traveling out of state to see their father at the former couple’s Montana ranch, where he’ll be living for the time being.
-People
★ Mayim Bialik has a message for “Jeopardy!” fans who are upset that she referred to the opening round of the game show as “Single Jeopardy.” Fans who were up in arms can rest easy, though. She told Yahoo Entertainment: “I will never do it again, even if it’s in the script. I will not say it.” She was taken aback by the fan reaction, saying: “People cared a lot. I get it and I’m sorry. I’m doing my best.” But she also pointed out there is precedence for calling it “Single Jeopardy.” The show’s late host Alex Trebek occasionally used the same term, even if it’s not the traditional or accepted way of referring to Jeopardy’s first round.
-Today
★ Twenty-eight years after his shoestring-budgeted breakout “Clerks” became the belle of the 1994 Sundance Film Festival, Kevin Smith is launching his own movie fest in his native New Jersey. He unveiled the inaugural SModcastle Film Festival (named after the his long-running podcast network and new studio), taking place Aug. 17-21 in Leonardo, N.J. The festival’s central venue, the SModcastle theater, is just steps from the still-functioning Quick Stop Groceries convenience store immortalized in Clerks.
-Yahoo
★ Ariel Winter is replacing Demi Lovato as star of the NBC comedy pilot “Hungry”. The “Modern Family” actress’s new gig was announced in the wake of Lovato dropping out of the project just as it was set to start production. Lovato, who will remain on as an executive producer, along with Lovato’s manager Scooter Braun, cited scheduling issues. Hungry follows a group of friends who belong to a food issues group. They help each other look for love, success — and the perfect thing in the fridge. Production with Winter on board began this week.
-Yahoo

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Tyler Perry, Usher, Ari Lennox (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Omar Apollo
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Taylor Schilling, Chris Redd, Todd Sucherman
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Adam Scott, Joachim Trier, Maria Bamford
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Sam Heughan, Brooke Shields
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Samuel L. Jackson
• “The Talk” (CBS): Pamela Adlon
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Jeremy Sisto, Justin Bruening, Eden Grinshpan, guest co-host Shay Mitchell
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Oliver Hudson, Lana Condor, guest host Stephen “tWitch” Boss
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Joel McHale, Storm Reid, Caroline Jones (R)
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Topher Grace, Mike Jackson, Egypt Sherrod, Danny Pelligrino
• “B Positive” (CBS): Season 2 finale
• “Joe Millionaire: For Richer or Poorer” (FOX): Season 1 finale
• “Nightwatch” (A&E): Season 6 premiere

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Drake — is selling his “Yolo Estate.” The 12,500 square foot LA Hidden Hills mansion, said to look like a luxury resort, is available for just under $15 million. He actually owns 3 homes right next to each other in the exclusive neighborhood, and they are all for sale.
• BTS — Machine Gun Kelly wants them to perform at his wedding to Megan Fox. On “The Ellen DeGeneres Show”, he participated in the segment ‘Burning Questions’, telling Ellen: “Which boy-band am I going to know the most songs of? For sure, NSYNC. But, he said, after meeting BTS at the Billboard Awards, “I think I have a better chance of getting BTS to come”.
• The Weeknd – seems to have confirmed rumors that he’ll guest on “The Simpsons”. He retweeted a fan account’s post detailing his appearance on the show as a character named ‘Orion Hughes’. The episode, titled “Bart the Cool Kid” will air March 20.
• Alanis Morissette and Rage Against the Machine – will headline Ottawa Bluesfest this summer. The music festival, set for July 7-17 at LeBreton Flats Park, will also feature Sarah McLachlan, Luke Combs, Jack Johnson, the National, and Marshmello. It has been cancelled the past 2 years.
• Rick Astley — describes the viral infamy he achieved due to the “Rickroll” meme as like living “a double life.” He said the meme, which dates back to 2007, has earned him recognition among younger audiences. Quote: “I know it has rekindled some interest in that song, and obviously that haircut.”
• Fred Durst – Thanks to security cams, police have an alleged crook in custody after someone entered a gate at his L.A. area property Friday and headed for the backyard, coming across a Tesla charger, a violin and a few other things. The stuff, valued at about $3,000, was recovered.
• Lynyrd Skynyrd – have announced they will kick off their 14-date “Big Wheels Keep on Turnin’” tour April 9 in Scottsdale AZ. The trek will end Sept. 23 in Sparks NV. Openers include Don Felder, the Marshall Tucker Band, the Outlaws and the Devon Allman Project on different dates.
• Miranda Lambert – Although she won the biggest honor of the night at Monday’s ACM Awards – ‘Entertainer of the Year’ — she wasn’t in the house at Allegiant Stadium in Las Vegas because she was in London for shows. Via video, she said: “I cannot believe I’m not there to celebrate…I’ve been waiting this for a really really long time. I actually never thought this would happen.”
• Parker McCollum – will be dancing to George Strait’s ‘I Cross My Heart’ at his upcoming wedding. The 2022 ACM New Male Artist of The Year winner recently revealed to “Taste of Country Nights” that he’ll marry fiancée Hallie Ray Light on March 21 (Yup, a Monday!).
• Jason Aldean — recently reacted to the possibility of his and Carrie Underwood’s kids dating. ET asked him about the chances Underwood’s 3-year-old son, Jacob, and his 3-year-old daughter, Navy becoming the “next country couple” in the future, or if Navy is “never allowed to date” anyone. Aldean joked: “That’s probably accurate, yeah.”

SHOOTING THE BULL

SCIENTISTS SAY:
⇒ Being optimistic may help to improve a person’s emotional well-being. The Boston University School of Medicine followed 233 older men over an 8-year period. They first completed an optimism questionnaire, then reported daily stressors and mood changes over the 8-year span. Those who were more optimistic were less likely to report negative moods and more likely to report positive moods. They also felt fewer stressors. The researchers say their findings suggest that optimism may be associated with more favorable emotional well-being in later life. (The study was partly funded by the US Center for ‘Duh’ Control…)
⇒ Millennials are more likely to worry about about social media than their finances, a new study shows. Money managing app Upwise commissioned a survey of 2,000 millennials about how they spend their money — and time — and discovered they devote a whopping 150 more hours per year online than they do to managing their bank accounts. They’re also more likely to play with pets, surf streaming services, care for houseplants or ponder what to eat for dinner longer than they would thinking about their finances. Only 27% of millennials said they check their bank accounts once per week, while 45% said they didn’t know how much money they currently have in their accounts. (That last one’s a pretty easy question to answer for me!)
-Fox, SWNS

CORONAUPDATE:
➢ COVID-19 has been linked with “significant” and damaging brain abnormalities even in mild cases, according to a UK study, shedding light on what could be behind the lingering symptoms of long COVID and common symptoms associated with infection like the loss of smell and taste. Brain scans taken before and after an infection revealed “significant” brain changes. The scans, taken 4-5 months after diagnosis, showed evidence of tissue damage in regions associated with smell and memory, an overall reduction in brain size, and significant cognitive decline, compared to non-COVID patients. Most people in the study experienced mild COVID infections. (I’d make a joke here . . . but that would be pretty tasteless!)
➢ In the early months of the pandemic, we spent a lot of time cleaning. Cleaning almost everything that someone else could have possibly touched, just in case we might somehow pick up the virus that causes COVID-19. Now, we know that the virus is primarily spread through respiratory droplets in the air rather than on surfaces. And new research from the University of Utah shows why. Human mucus, of all things, makes coronaviruses that are stuck on surfaces less infectious. And as we all know, if there’s coronavirus on a surface, chances are it contains human mucus of one kind or another! (So, I SHOULDN’T still be scrubbing my cereal boxes?)
-Forbes, StudyFinds

A REAL SLAP IN THE FACE:
An Ohio bodybuilding contest has debuted an unusual new event: the “Slap Fighting Championship”. The Arnold Classic, an annual bodybuilding competition in Columbus founded by Arnold Schwarzenegger, held its first Slap Fighting Championship, following an announcement by Schwarzenegger and YouTube star Logan Paul. It featured male and female competitors in different weight classes taking turns hitting one another in the face with open hands, in a battle for slap fight supremacy. The women’s category was won by Adrianna Sledz, while Dawid “Zales” Zalewski won the men’s super heavyweight contest via TKO. LINK:  https://youtu.be/mx0uru9Xp8Y
(While I’m sure the competitors are very strong people; you’d never live down that fact that you lost a slap fight by KNOCKOUT!!)
(Get those people on a flight to the Kremlin. There’s someone I’d like them to meet!)
-UPI

THE WORST FROZEN FOODS FOR YOUR HEALTH:
(according to experts . . .)
☞ Packaged frozen dinners:  The problem is salt, mostly. WAY too much salt. If you must, find a lower-sodium option, and pair it with a salad.
☞ Pizza rolls:  What we’ve got here is a combo of icky additives, calories galore, and excess fat and sodium. (So, stick with frozen pizza?)
☞ Frozen pizza:  Oh. Apparently frozen pizza can be just as bad as pizza rolls. There are some healthier versions with veggies and thin crust.
☞ Pot pies:  These are some of the highest calorie and fat-containing foods.
☞ Corn dogs:  Processed meats are bad for your heart. And the batter has almost no nutrients, plus it’s fried. (I can’t believe they’d do this to me!)
☞ French fries:  Check the ingredients, look for added oils and salt. But you’re probably still going to get a heaping helping of fat and calories. (And love it!)
☞ Calzones:  Lots of sodium, again. Like, your total daily recommended amount in just one calzone…
☞ Sweet & sour chicken:  A good source of protein, but also a ton of sugar. (Hence the name?)
☞ Pastries and baked goods:  Lots of carbohydrates here with no real nutritional value. Probably a pile of salt, sugar and fat. (So, it’s a bad idea to have these for breakfast?)
(Well! It’s nice that they’ve just emptied out my ENTIRE freezer for me . . .)
-NYPost

DID YOU KNOW?
Aaron Rodgers has become the NFL’s highest-paid player. The quarterback has agreed to return to the Green Bay Packers with a 4-year, $200 million contract extension, according to reports. The deal will make him the NFL’s highest-paid player based on average annual salary. Rodgers surpasses the Kansas City Chiefs’ Patrick Mahomes, who earns $45 million on his current deal. 37-year-old Rogers is a 3-time NFL MVP, Super Bowl champ, and 16-year veteran.
-USAToday

BS CHRONOMETER 03.10.22  

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “International Day of Awesomeness”, a day to recognize that people are awesome every day, frequently don’t realize it, and their awesomeness is rarely recognized. LINK: http://dayofawesomeness.com
• “Mario Day”, saluting anyone with that name because the abbreviated date (MAR-10) ‘sort-of’ spells “Mario”. Famous Marios include TV chef Mario Batali, NHL Hall of Famer Mario Lemieux, TV personality Mario Lopez, and ‘Mario’ of “Super Mario Bros” videogame fame, of course.
• “International Bagpipe Day”, to celebrate the world’s many bagpipes and piping traditions. LINK: http://www.internationalbagpipeorganisation.com
• “Salvation Army Day”, on the anniversary of its establishment in the US on this day in 1880. The Sally Ann was founded by William Booth in London in 1865, then came to NYC to provide food, shelter and clothing to needy Americans.
• “Pack Your Lunch Day”, from the classic PB&J to the Pinterest-worthy mason jar salad, homemade lunches are both fun and filling. Best of all, since you make it yourself, you can pack all your favorite foods! (But don’t just pack yourself a lunch full of brownies — your mother taught you better than that.)
• “Popcorn Lovers Day”, popcorn is good for you, when eaten plain. It’s not quite so healthy when it’s loaded with salt and butter. (But, all that butter and salt is why I’m eating it…)
• “Nametag Day”, today’s celebration of names stipulates that wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, you wear a “Hello, I’m [your name here]” nametag. In a playful mood? Rename yourself for the day, or just wear a name other than your own!

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Dream Day
[Fri] Promposal Day
[Sat] Girl Scout Day
[Sat] Alfred Hitchcock Day
[Sun] Daylight Saving Time begins (North America)

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1940 [82] [Carlos] Chuck Norris, Ryan OK, martial artist/TV actor (“Walker, Texas Ranger” 1993-2001)/movie actor (“Way of the Dragon”)

1949 [73] Barbara Corcoran, Edgewater NJ, businesswoman/TV personality (“Shark Tank” since 2009)

1958 [64] Sharon Stone, Meadville PA, movie actress (“Basic Instinct”, “Casino”) COMING UP…“What About Love”, 2023

1963 [59] Rick Rubin, Long Beach NY, music producer (AC/DC, Adele, Ed Sheeran, Jay Z, Josh Groban, Justin Bieber, Run-DMC, Kanye West, Metallica, etc.)

1971 [51] Jon Hamm, St Louis MO, TV actor (“Mad Men” 2007-15)/movie actor (“Minions”, “The Town”) COMING UP…“Top Gun: Maverick”, 2022

1972 [50] Timbaland [Timothy Mosley], Norfolk VA, music producer (Jay Z, Justin Timberlake, Madonna, Nelly Furtado, Rihanna, Usher, etc.)

1977 [45] Robin Thicke, LA CA, pop singer (‘Blurred Lines’, ‘Sex Therapy’)/son of Alan Thicke and Gloria Loring

1983 [39] Carrie Underwood, Muskogee OK, country singer (‘Something In the Water’, ‘Before He Cheats’)/“American Idol” season 4 winner/married to ex-NHLer Mike Fisher since 2010

1984 [38] Olivia Wilde, NYC, movie actress (“TRON: Legacy”)/TV actress (“House MD” 2007-12) COMING UP…“Don’t Worry Darling”, 2022

1994 [28] Bad Bunny [Benito Ocasio], Almirante Sur Puerto Rico, reggaeton rapper-singer-songwriter (w/Cardi B and J Balvin-‘I Like It’, ft. Drake-‘Mia’)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2010 [12] Canadian actor Corey Haim (“The Lost Boys”) dies of pneumonia at 38

2009 [13] Mandy Moore (“This is Us”) weds singer-songwriter Ryan Adams in a quiet ceremony in Savannah GA (they divorce in 2016)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2003 [19] AC/DC, The Righteous Brothers, Elvis Costello and the Attractions, The Clash, The Police, and Floyd Cramer are inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

2008 [14] Madonna is inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, along with John Mellencamp, The Dave Clark Five, The Ventures and Leonard Cohen

2003 [19] During a concert in London, Dixie Chicks singer Natalie Maines says she’s “ashamed the president of the USA is from Texas” (severely impacting their career)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1876 [146] In the first-ever telephone call, Alexander Graham Bell says “Mr. Watson, come here, I want to see you” to his assistant Thomas Watson

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2015 [07] Marvin Gaye’s estate wins a $7.3 million lawsuit against Robin Thicke, Pharrell Williams, and T.I., after a jury finds Thicke’s song ‘Blurred Lines’ is too similar to Gaye’s 1977 hit ‘Got to Give It Up’

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ A study found that students who chew gum have better math test scores than those who do not.
✓ In Portugal, it’s considered rude to write in red ink.
✓ To make one pound of honey, honey bees must gather nectar from nearly 2 million flowers.
✓ Because the speed of earth’s rotation changes over time, a day in the age of dinosaurs was just 23 hours long.
✓ Humans shed about 600,000 particles of skin every hour. That means by age 70, you’ll lose 105 pounds (48kg) of skin.
✓ The world’s first known vending machine dispensed holy water. (Egypt, A.D. 100)
✓ The Los Angeles coroner’s department has a gift shop.
-BathroomReadersInstitute, FactSlides

BS MORE, MORE ACCURATE COMPANY SLOGANS:
• Home Depot: No, you CAN’T do it…but we’ll sell you all the stuff to make you think you can
• Ben & Jerry’s: Treat your sadness
• BMW: Get out the way, peasants
• Kraft Mac N’ Cheese: The tab definitely won’t open the box
• Expedia: Don’t be miserable at home with your family . . . be miserable anywhere
• Dollar Tree: What did you expect? It’s a DOLLAR
• Sam’s Club: When your town doesn’t have a Costco
• Campbell’s Soup: M’mm M’mm Salty!
• Caribbean Cruises: Came sail on the good ship Floating Sewer of Diarrhea
• Amazon: Resistance is futile
-Twitter

Best of BS . . .
BS SIGNS YOUR DENTIST IS WACKY:
• When he runs out of novocaine, he resorts to the old ‘mallet-to-the-forehead’ method.
• Wears a necklace made of molars.
• After she asks you to spit, she says: “OK, my turn.”
• Keeps trying to sell you extra teeth.
• She has a macrame hanging made entirely of dental floss.
• Pumps gas into the waiting room in advance.
• His mask is on the back of his head.
• Licks his tools clean.
-First published in BS 2011

BS WEB GOODIE:
Happy retirement:  https://tinyurl.com/5y9ytfys

BS RANDOM JOKE:
All I’m asking for is an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.

BS PHONE STARTER:
When someone finds out where you’re from, what’s the first question they always ask?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  One in 9 people say they have seen a physical fight break out over THIS. What is it?
Answer: A board game

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
To succeed; work hard, never give up, and above all, cherish a magnificent obsession.