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WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:
• Doctors say it may be possible that 47-year-old former Poison frontman Brett Michaels could be healthy enough to appear on “The Celebrity Apprentice” finalé May 23rd. Currently recuperating from a massive brain hemorrhage, he’s one of 7 contestants remaining. While most of the show is pre-taped, the finalé requires the last 2 contestants to debate in front of host Donald Trump. Michaels’ reps seem to disagree, saying he’s still in poor health and in need of more tests before his condition will improve.
– “Jam! Showbiz”
• A student who attends Brown University in Rhode Island and has a chemistry class with ‘Harry Potter’ actress Emma Watson says that one day Emma answered a question correctly and someone in the back shouted, ‘Ten points for Gryffindor!’ Word has it she wasn’t happy.
– PopBitch.com
• 50-year-old lifelong bachelor Simon Cowell has decided to put the US launch of his “X Factor” show ahead of wedding his 37-year-old Afghan-born fiancée Mezghan Hussainy. The new show debuts in Fall 2011, meaning Mezghan may have to wait another 2 years to drag him down the aisle.
– “News Of the World”
• 23-year-old “Glee” star Lea Michele (‘Rachel Berry’) denies reports she and 31-year-old actor Matthew Morrison, who plays music teacher ‘Will Schuester’ on the show, were once an item. Tabloids are suggesting they dated when they both worked Broadway in 2007. Michele says he’s just a friend and her real boyfriend is an unidentified ‘theater guy’ currently working on the Great White Way.
– StarPulse.com
• 43-year-old actress Halle Berry’s longtime boyfriend Gabriel Aubry has confirmed they’ve split, describing the break-up as ‘sad’. The twice-married Oscar-winner (“Monster’s Ball”) had been living with the French-Canadian model since 2005 and gave birth to their first child, daughter Nahla, in 2008. Reports say they’ve worked out a ‘very short-term custody arrangement’.
– AccessHollywood.com
• Fans of actress Sandra Bullock can now buy her former marital home. The new mom and her estranged, cheating husband Jesse James have put the Orange County, California home they shared on the market with an asking price of $6 million. It’s said the house will be sold ‘discretely’ and potential buyers must ‘pre-qualify’ to even get a guided tour.
– TMZ.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC/A Channel) – The remaining 6 couples perform.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Two Door Cinema Club (“Tourist History”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Metric (“Fantasies”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Corinne Bailey Rae (“The Sea”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – “American Idol” castoff Siobhan Magnus.
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Kirk Franklin (“The Fight of My Life”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Godsmack (“The Oracle”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• The Beatles – John Lennon’s handwritten lyrics to “A Day In the Life”, the final track on the “Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” album, will go on sale in NYC June 18th. Sotheby’s expects the manuscript to fetch $500,000-$700,000.
• Black Eyed Peas – “I Gotta Feeling” is now the ‘Best-Selling Digital Song of All-Time’, with over 5.56 million downloads. That surpasses the previous leader, Flo Rida’s “Low”.
• Foo Fighters – Taylor Hawkins says they’re working towards a new album for next year.
• The Killers – Frontman Brandon Flowers has revealed he’s working on a solo record.
• Ozzy Osbourne – This year’s “Ozzfest” tour is set to kick off August 14th in San Bernardino CA, the birthplace of the event in 1996. So far, only 6 tour stops have been announced.
• Pearl Jam – Tonight they kick off a Spring tour in Kansas City MO. In June & July, they head overseas for a run of previously-announced European gigs, including a number of festivals.
• Toby Keith – He’s now on a 14-day, 4-country USO/Armed Forces Entertainment tour. When his concert in South Korea had to be moved indoors, the US Army used Facebook and YouTube to reorganize the event and spread the word.
• U2 – On Friday Bono met with president Barack Obama in the Oval Office of the White House to discuss the administration’s development work in Africa.

TOPS IN T-P:
The World Wildlife Fund for Nature estimates that around 27,000 trees are felled each day to feed the world’s toilet paper needs. A usage study by watchdog organization World Watch has found that Americans use the most TP, going through a whopping 23 kilos (50.7 lbs) each per year. That figure is equivalent to using 57 squares a day. On the flip side, the average resident of Denmark uses a meager 13 kilos (28.7 lbs) of toilet paper annually, a figure at the ‘bottom’ for countries in the Western world. According to World Watch, much of the problem of TP overusage stems from the production of ‘extra soft’ products, which take far more material than a normal roll. (Time to go back to the Sears catalogue!)
– “Copenhagen Post”

MOOD FOOD:
A new study has found that people who regularly eat chocolate are more depressive. Many believe that chocolate has the power to lift mood, and University of California @ San Diego researchers say this may be true, although scientific proof is lacking. They also say they cannot rule out that chocolate may be a cause rather than the cure for depression. In the study of some 1,000 adults, the more chocolate the men & women consumed the lower their mood. Those who ate most – more than 6 regular-size bars a month – scored the highest for depression. So the core question is yet to be answered: Does depression make us crave chocolate or does it actually cause depression? (What’s your favorite ‘comfort food’?)
– BBC News

WAYS TO PICK UP GIRLS THAT ONLY WORK IN THE MOVIES:
• Literally Bumping Into Them (“Step Up 2”): A guy – either in the halls of his high school or maybe an art gallery – literally bumps into a girl and BAM! … there’s an instant attraction.
• Writing a Mushy Love Letter (“Can’t Hardly Wait”): You pour your heart out on a sheet of paper explaining how much you love a girl. In real life she’d file a restraining order for stalking.
• Getting a Makeover (“Can’t Buy Me Love”): A total nerd gets a new haircut and wears trendy clothes, and all of a sudden he’s the cool kid? Not likely.
• Simply Being a Nerd (“American Pie” films): Are there really girls who look like Shannon Elizabeth that can’t control their hormones around band geeks and uber-dorks?
• Being Poor When the Girl Is Rich (“Titanic”): In the real world, trash collectors and maintenance guys don’t have a shot with a Hollywood actress or New York socialite.
– Condensed from Unrealitymag.com

DID YOU SAY SOMETHING?
A third of pet-owning married women say their pets are ‘better listeners’ than their husbands, according to a newly-released Petside.com poll. 18% of pet-owning married men say their pets are better listeners than their wives. Overall, about 1-in-10 pet owners say they often talk their troubles over with their pets. (Husbands, if you end up in the dog house, consider it a promotion!)
– AP

TWEETS OF THE WEEK:
• Lady Gaga: “Rehearsal till we bleed. Sweat, passion, and knee pads. Feel like I’ve waited an eternity to release my favorite song from ‘The Fame Monster’.”
• Boy George: “Like whores and monuments, if you stick around long enough you get respect.”
• Pete Wentz: “It took me about 25 years to learn one of the most important lessons of my life … you can’t put out one fire with another fire.”
• Danny Gokey: “A fact of life … after Monday & Tuesday even the calendar says WTF.”
– Excerpted from Billboard.com

FOR THE RECORD:
Indian military scientists are studying an 82-year-old who claims he’s not had any food or drink … for 70 years. Prahlad Jani says he survives on ‘spiritual life force’. He’s being kept in isolation in an Ahmedabad hospital where he’s being closely monitored while going day after day without food or water. Doctors will continue observing him for 15 days, during which time they’d expect to see serious dehydration, weight loss, and fatigue. Researchers think he may have a genuine ability which could help save lives.
– Telegraph.co.uk

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• Justin Bieber is the only artist to have 7 songs from a debut CD on the “Billboard” ‘Hot 100’ chart. His music video “One Time” had 85 million YouTube views.
– TP
• The 2010 World Cup in South Africa will be filmed in 3-D for the first time. Up to 25 of the games will be captured using 3-D cameras.
– “Media Week”

BS CHRONOMETER 05.03.10

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TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1919 [91] Pete Seeger, NYC, legendary folk singer/songwriter/political activist

1946 [64] Greg Gumbel, New Orleans LA, TV sportscaster (“The NFL on CBS”)

1971 [39] John Driskell Hopkins, Atlanta GA, country bass guitarist/vocalist (Zac Brown Band-“Highway 20 Ride”, “Chicken Fried”)

1975 [35] Dulé Hill, Orange NJ, TV actor (“Psych” since 2006, “The West Wing” 1999-2006)

1978 [32] Paul Banks, Clacton-on-Sea UK, rock vocalist (Interpol-“Lights”, “The Heinrich Maneuver”)

1984 [26] Cheryl Burke, San Francisco CA, professional dancer (“Dancing With the Stars”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Different Colored Shoes Day”, ie: one brown and one black. It’s a day to take a risk and step outside your daily routine. Why not go for the socks, too? Pink and chartreuse?

• “Garden Meditation Day”, day to let go of concerns and center full attention on a garden even if it’s just for a few minutes. You can meditate on when you’re going to get around to weeding.

• “Melanoma Monday”, observed on the 1st Monday of May, aka “Skin Self Examination Day”. Better to find skin cancer yourself today than have a dermatologist find it next year.
NET: http://www.melanomamonday.org/0503.html

• “Paranormal Day”, a day for all paranormal enthusiasts to get together and share their unique experiences with each other. Seminars and readings will take place worldwide.

• “Significant Other Day”, sort of an anniversary celebration for unwed couples. (Meaning, the male half will forget.)

• “Wordsmith Day”. Wow, how scintillating yet somehow egregious!

• “World Press Freedom Day”, as declared by the UN to recognize the value of freedom of expression, and the sacrifices journalist have made to attain this freedom. (And the right to get into sports events with a free pass.)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2002 [08] “Spider-Man” opens in movie theaters

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1986 [24] Dolly Partons “Dollywood” amusement park opens near Gatlinburg, Tennessee

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1934 [76] 1st-ever ‘Comic Book’ is published, “Famous Funnies” from Dell Books

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Childhood Depression Awareness Day
[Tues] Respect for Chickens Day
[Tues] Star Wars Day
[Wed] Cartoonists Day
[Wed] Cinco de Mayo (Mexico)
[Wed] International Midwives Day
[Wed] Totally Chipotle Day
[Wed] Occupational Safety & Health Professionals Day

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Anxiety & Depression Awareness Week / Be Kind to Animals Week / Bread Pudding Recipe Exchange Week / Correctional Officers Week / Children’s Mental Health Week / Dating & Life Coach Recognition Week / Drinking Water Week / Flexible Work Arrangement Week / Goodwill Industries Week / Occupational Safety & Health Week / Pet Week / Teacher Appreciation Week / Update Your References Week / Wildflower Week / Work at Home Moms Week

BULL’S BITS

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BEST OF BS:
Highlight bits culled from 17 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
WHO’S YOUR MOMMY?
We tell you the animal, you tell us what the mother [female] is called …
• Pig … Sow
• Horse … Mare
• Ferret … Jill
• Alligator … Cow
• Bee … Queen
• Chicken … Hen
• Coyote … Bitch
• Donkey … Jenny
• Bear … Sow
• Homo Sapiens … Mommy
You’ll find oodles more here …
NET: http://www.enchantedlearning.com/subjects/animals/Animalbabies.shtml

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• According to a recent poll, what is men’s #1 complaint about the bathroom?
a. Finding an empty roll.
b. Someone leaving the seat up.
c. They can’t get in. [CORRECT]

• What’s the fastest animal on TWO feet?
a. Ostrich. [CORRECT]
b. Human.
c. Disabled cheetah.
NET: http://www.FreeRadioPrep.com

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Welcome to Moanday …

BS WEB GOODIE:
Calculate what Mom should earn for all the housework she does using the online ‘Mom Salary Wizard’. There are settings for ‘working’ and ‘stay-at-home’ moms as well as ‘number of kids’.
NET: http://swz.salary.com/momsalarywizard/htmls/mswl_momcenter.html

BS PHONE STARTER:
Author Neil Pasricha lists the little things in life that make us happy in “The Book of Awesome: Snow Days, Bakery Air, Finding Money In Your Pocket, and Other Simple, Brilliant Things”. So tell us … what wee occurrence can really make your day?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: About a third of women will do THIS at least once in their lifetime.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Color their hair blond.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The greatest way to live with honor in this world is to be what we pretend to be.