A Bull in Hand Is a Sheetload of Prep!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Today a press conference is scheduled in which doctors who’ve been treating Bret Michaels (“Celebrity Apprentice”, ex-Poison) will further explain his condition, treatment, and prognosis (he’s never had this much publicity) . . . Word has it “America’s Got Talent” judge & former “Celebrity Apprentice” winner Piers Morgan is in talks to host a TV talk show (because 487 of them aren’t enough) . . . “Late Night” host David Letterman is getting into the music biz with his Worldwide Pants production company forming its own record label and signing its first act, the punk duo Runner Runner (a new project for Paul Shaffer?) . . . We may have just heard about their split, but an insider tells “People” magazine that actress Halle Berry actually ‘kicked out’ boyfriend Gabriel Aubry several months ago because he ‘wasn’t able to pull his weight in the relationship’ and she wanted to move on (ouch!) . . . Sean Combs has visited rapper Lil Wayne at NY’s Riker’s Island prison (geez Diddy, isn’t incarceration punishment enough?) . . . 63-year-old movie actor Sylvester Stallone says he’s now abandoned plans to bring his iconic “Rambo” character back a 5th time and work on another sequel in the series has now stopped (and they’ve struck the retirement home set) . . . Madonna has been voted ‘Ultimate Style Icon Of the ‘80s in a new poll (funny, she wasn’t back then) . . . And in a new BBC interview, sorta actress Miley Cyrus (“The Last Song”) blabs that she’d be willing to do a nude scene ‘if it’s something that’s classy’ (just what you wanted to hear from your 7-year-old daughter’s role model, eh?).
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – The final 5 singers perform Frank Sinatra songs; Harry Connick Jr is the mentor.
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC/A Channel) – Train performs; the final 5 couples are revealed.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Grace Potter & The Nocturnals (“Almost Alice”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – OK Go (“Of the Blue Colour Of the Sky”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings (“I Learned the Hard Way”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Michael Bolton (“Live At the Royal Albert Hall”, out today)
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Alicia Keys – She tells “Q” magazine she won’t record a song if she can’t sing it live, so she’s never used Auto-Tune or anything like it in the studio. (Hear hear!)
• Broken Social Scene – Today they release their new album “Forgiveness Rock Record”.
• Led Zeppelin – Jason Bonham is set to commemorate the 30th anniversary of the death of his father, Led Zep drummer John Bonham, with a 30-date North American tour to be called “Jason Bonham’s Led Zeppelin Experience”. The shows will incorporate old photos and home movies.
NET: http://www.jasonbonham.net
• Nickelback – Today the world premiere of their new video, “This Afternoon”, becomes available free at iTunes.
• Phil Collins – He tells “Rolling Stone” magazine he may stop releasing albums because he’s tired of critics attacking his music. (What can we say but … thanks.)
• Sade – Her first album in a decade, “Soldier Of Love”, sold more than a million copies in a single month to earn RIAA Platinum status.
• Taylor Swift – In a new interview, the 20-year-old says she was never popular in school and thought she would have more friends once she became famous. But so far, no luck. (Awww!)
• Tim McGraw – He’s set to tour Australia for the first time in September, playing shows in Brisbane, Melbourne, and Sydney.
• Zac Brown Band – Today they release the live DVD/CD set, “Pass the Jar”, recorded at the Fox Theatre in Atlanta GA last October. It features guest appearances by Kid Rock, Little Big Town, and others.
TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Leap Year” ( Romantic Comedy ): Amy Adams plays a bride wannabe who decides to take advantage of ‘Leap Day’, an Irish tradition that encourages women to propose to men February 29th. However, on her way to meet her boyfriend in Dublin, her plane gets re-routed and lands her at the door of a Welsh innkeeper. Co-stars Matthew Goode, Adam Scott.
• “Nine” ( Musical Drama ): “Chicago” director Rob Marshall’s adaptation of the Tony-winning Broadway show features an all-star cast that includes Oscar-winners Daniel Day-Lewis, Marion Cotillard, and Penélope Cruz. The story follows a famous film director as he struggles to juggle relationships with his wife, his mistress, his muse, his agent, and his mother. Co-stars Fergie, Judi Dench, Kate Hudson, Nicole Kidman, Sophia Loren.
• “Tooth Fairy” ( Fantasy Comedy ): Dwayne Johnson stars as a tough minor-league hockey player whose unusual sentence for a bad deed is to serve out a full week as a real-life tooth fairy. Co-stars Ashley Judd, Julie Andrews. The script for this film had been in development since 1992. Shot in Vancouver and Winnipeg.
• Also released today: “According to Jim: The Complete 2nd Season” (TV); “Dirt: The Complete 2nd Season” (TV); “Dirty Dancing: Limited Keepsake Edition”; “Doctor Zhivago: 45th Anniversary Edition”; “Iron Man: The Complete Animated Series” (TV); “Man vs Wild: Season 4” (TV); “Murdoch Mysteries: Season 2” (TV); “Penn & Teller: Bullsh*t!: The Complete 7th Season (TV); “Rounder Records 40th Anniversary Concert” (Country Music Performance); and “Saturday Morning Cartoons 1980s: Volume 1” (Vintage TV).
MOST INFLUENTIAL POP MUSIC VIDEOS OF ALL-TIME:
According to a new MySpace.com poll …
5. “Hurt”, Johnny Cash.
4. “Take On Me”, a-ha.
3. “Baby One More Time”, Britney Spears.
2. “Here It Goes Again”, OK Go.
1. “Thriller”, Michael Jackson.
– ContactMusic.com
GOOFY NEW BS GIZMOS & GADGETS:
• ‘Better Marriage Blanket’ – A typical-looking bed covering that’s touted to absorb noxious bodily odors. The carbon fabric lining purportedly keeps flatulence beneath the covers. Ads suggest it makes a ‘great wedding or anniversary gift’. Prices start at $85 for twin size (?).
NET: http://www.bettermarriageblanket.com
– Geekologie.com
• ‘Facade Printer’ – This computer printer uses a hi-tech paintball gun to tattoo images onto buildings. The German contraption, comprised of a pressurized barrel controlled by a computer, can blast pictures onto walls from a distance of 20 ft. Sorry, not yet available to consumers.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/2cnj7v2
– Gizmodo.com
NO MORE PENCILS, NO MORE BOOKS:
Forget ‘home schooling’, Christine Yablonski & Phil Biegler of Westford, Massachusetts are self-described ‘unschoolers’. They allow their teen daughter and son to decide what they want to learn, and when they want to learn it. There are no textbooks, no tests, and no formal education at all in their world. They say the key is to trust your kids to find their own interests. Yablonski describes ‘unschooling’ as living your life as if the school system doesn’t exist. (Do they get recess?)
– ABC News
TOP MOVIE SONGS OF ALL-TIME:
According to a new UK poll, these are the best-ever tunes from films …
5. Elton John – “Can You Feel The Love Tonight” (“The Lion King”).
4. Bill Medley & Jennifer Warnes – “Time Of My Life” (“Dirty Dancing”).
3. Aerosmith – “I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing” (“Armageddon”).
2. Take That – “Rule The World” (“Stardust”).
1. Celine Dion – “My Heart Will Go On” (“Titanic”)
– WENN.com
TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
• Hobart, Australia – A Tasmanian bigamist has been charged after his #1 wife saw a picture of him in a newspaper … with his #2 wife. The 44-year-old has been fined $1,800 for bigamy, forgery, and offering false information. (Not to mention dumbness.)
– AHN
• Lincoln NE – A 24-year-old man is missing a chunk of his right ear after it was apparently bitten off by a woman at a birthday party who didn’t like being called ‘fat’. The ear chunk has not yet been found. (Check the chip dip?)
– Associated Press
• Pemberton UK – Officials at a nursery school have confiscated a cheese sandwich that a 2-year-old brought to school because it did not include either lettuce or tomato. The straight-up combination of cheese & bread contravenes its healthy eating guidelines. (Food Nazis!)
– Times Online
• Chicago IL – A woman is suing a hair salon because she was hurt falling through its window … while tipsy and trying to kick her husband. The suit claims the window should be fortified since it’s on a street ‘frequently traveled by intoxicated pedestrians’. (And why not sue the city for that wobbly sidewalk?)
– NYPost.com
BEST CITIES TO LIVE IN 2010:
The newest annual ranking of world cities based on a variety of factors, including professional life, dating, nightlife, weather, cost of living, etc.
5. London UK
4. Madrid, Spain
3. Tokyo, Japan
2. Melbourne, Australia
1. New, New York
– Excerpted from AskMen.com
DID YOU KNOW?
US president Barack Obama is one of the Top Ten most followed on Twitter, with nearly 3.8 million followers. British Prime Minister Gordon Brown is the next most popular head of state with 1.7 million followers. And now Venezuela’s socialist president Hugo Chavez has begun tweeting, generating 120,000 in just 3 days. Chavez can be followed at ‘chavezcandanga’.
– NCbuy.com
BS CHRONOMETER 05.04.10
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1951 [59] Mick Mars (Robert Deal), Huntington IN, rock guitarist (Motley Crue-“If I Die Tomorrow”, “Dr Feelgood”)
1959 [51] Randy Travis (Traywick), Marshville NC, country singer (“I Told You So”, “Forever & Ever Amen”)
1970 [40] Will Arnett, Toronto ON, TV actor (“Sit Down, Shut Up” 2009, “Arrested Development” 2003-06)/movie actor (“Semi-Pro”, “Blades of Glory”)
1972 [38] Mike Dirnt (Pritchard), Rodeo CA, rock bassist (Green Day-“Know Your Enemy”, “Boulevard Of Broken Dreams”)
1973 [37] John Madden, Barrie ON, NHL center (Chicago Blackhawks)
1980 [30] Andrew Raycroft, Belleville ON, NHL backup goaltender (Vancouver Canucks)
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “International Firefighters’ Day”, to recognize the efforts of those brave hearts who risk their lives to keep us safe. (And what women consistently pick in polls as ‘Sexiest Profession’.)
NET: http://www.iffd.net
• “National Teacher Day”, always the Tuesday of the first full week of May.
BS SIGNS YOU’RE A TEACHER:
• You can’t have children because there’s not a name you can think of that doesn’t give you high blood pressure.
• You believe ‘Shallow Gene Pool’ should have its own little check box on report cards.
• Your voice is permanently set on high volume.
• You’ve corrected a total stranger’s grammar errors.
• Any sustained loud noise causes you to impulsively flick the light switch on and off.
• “Relationship Renewal Day”, saluting relationships that have made it through yet another year. Couples are encouraged to celebrate and congratulate one another … and each other.
• “Respect For Chickens Day”, promoting compassionate & respectful treatment of domestic fowl. Advocacy group United Poultry Concerns argues that we should celebrate the beauty, dignity & life of chickens and protest against the bleakness of their lives in farming operations.
NET: http://www.upc-online.org/nr/090430ircd-white-house.html
• “Star Wars Day”, a pun on the similarity between “May the 4th be with you” and “May the Force be with you”. Despite efforts in the UK to have the day declared an official holiday of the ‘Jedi Church’, it hasn’t happened yet.
• “Weather Observers’ Day”, recognizing both pros and amateurs who follow the elements.
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1927 [83] ‘Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences’ is founded (the Oscar people)
2007 [03] “Spider-Man 3” opens in movie theaters (goes on to earn $890 million worldwide)
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1959 [51] 1st ‘Grammy Awards’ presented (winners include Perry Como, Ella Fitzgerald, Henry Mancini, and The Kingston Trio)
1994 [16] Bill Wyman announces his retirement from the Rolling Stones (thereby missing out on hundreds-of-millions they’ve made touring since)
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1968 [42] 1st McDonald’s ‘Big Mac’ is served (2 all-beef patties, onions, pickles, lettuce, mustard on a sesame seed bun)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Cartoonists Day
[Wed] Cinco de Mayo (Mexico)
[Wed] International Midwives Day
[Wed] Totally Chipotle Day
[Wed] Occupational Safety & Health Professionals Day
[Thurs] Day to Prevent Teen Pregnancy
[Thurs] No Homework Day
This Week Is … Be Kind to Animals Week
This Month Is … Good Car Keeping Month
BULL’S BITS
MOVIE QUOTES THAT MAKE THE WORST PICKUP LINES:
• “What you’re about to see is totally classified …” – John Turturro in “Transformers”.
• “I’ve never wanted a human’s blood so much before.” – Robert Pattinson in “Twilight”.
• “I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack.” – Zach Galifianakis in “The Hangover”.
• “Want to know how I got these scars?” – Heath Ledger in “The Dark Knight”.
• “Just relax and let your mind go blank. That shouldn’t be too hard for you.” – Sigourney Weaver in “Avatar”.
• “I don’t know how to put this, but I’m kind of a big deal.” – Will Ferrell in “Anchorman”.
• “You might be a cunning linguist, but I’m a master debater.” – Mike Myers in “Goldmember”.
– Condensed from “Cosmopolitan”
BS PHONE STARTER:
Which of these companies do you trust most with your personal information? Apple, Google, Facebook, Microsoft, Twitter … or no one?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Over 60% of married men think THIS goes unnoticed by their wives.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: How much housework they do.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
He who hesitates is sometimes saved.