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BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TV actor Neil Patrick Harris (“How I Met Your Mom”) tells “OK!” magazine he’s worried about the “Glee” cast after filming a cameo for the hit show (aired last night), because he thinks the actors are completely ‘exhausted’ and ‘overworked’ (and we’re guessing paid diddly) . . . Another year, another “Miss USA” scandal – TMZ has discovered newly-crowned 24-year-old Rima Fakih is a former pole dancing champion, winning a 2007 contest sponsored by a Detroit radio morning show (word is she kept her clothes on but still managed to have her bra stuffed with bills) . . . Embattled actor Charlie Sheen has reportedly agreed to re-up his contract for “Two-and-a-Half Men” (CBS) for 2 more (awful) seasons (by which time ‘half man’ Angus T Jones will be 18-years-old) . . . 28-year-old movie actress Jessica Biel is set to show off her musical talents on Broadway in a stage version of director Pedro Almodovar’s 1988 comedy film, “Women On the Verge Of a Nervous Breakdown” . . . Actor John Travolta’s 2 pet dogs have been run over by an airport service vehicle and killed while his plane was being serviced at Bangor International Airport in Maine (this guy’s life has no end to misery) . . . 84-year-old Hugh Hefner has asked former girlfriends, 20-year-old twins Karissa & Kristina Shannon, to leave the Playboy Mansion compound because he’s doesn’t want to see them with other guys (it’s unclear if he’s green with envy or just getting moldy) . . . 47-year-old actress Demi Moore is reportedly taking a series of meetings with NYC publishers looking for a deal to write her autobiography (about what?) . . . And it’s been revealed actress Sarah Jessica Parker has no less than 48 costume changes in “Sex & The City 2” (opening May 27th) as she reprises her role as glamorous journalist ‘Carrie Bradshaw’ (OMG, she must be chafed!).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “American Idol” (FOX/CTV) – Travis Garland performs; Justin Bieber performs; the top 2 finalists are revealed.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Adam Lambert (“For Your Entertainment”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Reflection Eternal f/Estelle (“Revolutions Per Minute”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Mumford & Sons (“Sigh No More”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Stone Temple Pilots (“Stone Temple Pilots”, out May 25th).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Allison Iraheta (“Just Like You”).
• “Oprah Winfrey Show” (syndicated/CTV) – “Celebrity Apprentice” finalist & brain hemorrhage survivor Bret Michaels; out-of-the-closet country singer Chely Wright.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Damian Marley w/Nas (“Distant Relatives”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• The Beatles – Director Martin Scorsese has finished filming his documentary, “Living In the Material World: George Harrison”. The film, which features new interviews with Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, Yoko Ono, Eric Clapton, and Phil Spector among others, will be released in 2011.
• Gym Class Heroes – Travis McCoy has titled his new solo project mix-tape, “Forgetting Katy Perry”, in reference to his former girlfriend. Perry’s new beau, Russell Brand, appeared in the movie “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”.
• Hole – Courtney Love reportedly caused a scene while out on a date in NYC with Uma Thurman’s ex-boyfriend, hotel magnate Andre Balazs, throwing a tantrum over him flirting with other women. Dude, you can do so much better.
• Justin Bieber – News … news! He’s got a tattoo! The 16-year-old popster reportedly had a small bird inked onto his hip in Toronto shortly after his 16th birthday in March.
• Melissa Etheridge – She says she knew she had to come clean about her secret split from actress Tammy Lynn Michaels while promoting her new album because journalists kept asking about her ‘great marriage’.

BEST DAYS OF YOUR LIFE:
Life looks rosier after 50, a new study finds. Results show people in their mid- to late-50s are generally happier, and experience less stress and worry than young adults in their 20s. The results proved consistent, whether study participants were married, had children at home, or were employed. So if having a partner and getting rid of the kids aren’t responsible for the uptick in happiness and general life satisfaction with age, then what is? More studies will be needed to find out, the researchers say. (Maybe you quit worrying about what other people think and just be you?)
– MSNBC.com

WHAT A WAY TO GO!
At the new Nirvana Memorial columbarium (Buddhist cemetery) in Singapore, the deceased can depart rock concert-style with a $2-million sound system, laser and LED lighting, plus machine-generated smoke. When it’s fully operational in 2011, the $22-million, 120,000-sq ft facility will house up to 50,000 niches for urns spread across 11 suites designed with feng shui elements. Each suite will feature luxury lounges for visitors, who gain access using electronic key-cards. (Seems like a great place to make an ash of yourself.)
– “China Daily”

AND JUSTICE FOR ALL:
Employees exposed to difficult or unjust circumstances may not only become sullen and unproductive, they may become physically ill. A 2-year University of Helsinki study finds that workplaces rated as having ‘low justice’ – where performance reviews are considered unfair and employee viewpoints are not heard – have 41% more sick days among men and 12% more among women. (Further proof women are tougher.)
– “Psychology Today”

CONVENTION BOTS:
Robotics firm Anybots thinks its robotic avatars could replace the physical presence of people at meetings and conventions. You log in through the Internet and after a few keystrokes the ‘bot, called ‘QB’, comes alive, leaving its charging station and ready to meet & greet attendees, brainstorm, or just generally creep people out. The robot avatar isn’t actually meant to replace videoconferencing, but the idea is to be able to participate in more than just meetings. With ‘QB’, you can observe a workplace, participate more directly in tasks, or just be there for casual conversations – all from thousands of miles away. (But how do you have an affair?)
– Dvice.com

RARE REDS:
According to a prediction by Britain’s Oxford Hair Foundation, by the year 2100 the number of ‘gingers’ or natural redheads in the world will dwindle to … none! The reason, according to scientists at the independent institute, is that just 4% cent of the world’s population carries the red-hair gene and the gene is recessive, so it will continue to dilute out and become even rarer. (Thanks to MIA’s latest video, we know it’s all a conspiracy.)
– “Social Studies”

BS LAW & DISORDER:
• Toronto ON – A woman is suing her cellphone provider, Rogers Wireless, for breaking up her marriage. She claims the company disclosed her call history to her husband, which revealed she was having a secret affair. He left her. Now she wants $600,000.
– TheStar.com
• Woburn MA – A 23-year-old former Harvard University student has compiled world-class academic credentials, including perfect grades and 2 prestigious Harvard prizes, by fabricating his own history and plagiarizing others’ work, according to a Massachusetts prosecutor.
– CNN.com
• New York NY – A former NYU staffer has pleaded guilty to grand larceny for bilking the school out of some $409,000 in reimbursements for bogus expenses he backed up with receipts which he fished out of … a liquor store’s trash bin.
– TBO.com
• Lijiang, China – A 49-year-old trucker is suing his local police force for the right to drive legally … despite having no hands. Though he lost his hands while playing with a discarded bomb as a 9-year-old, he’s since become famous locally for being adept at driving truck.
– “New Law Daily”

DID YOU KNOW?
• The golf ball industry is a $1.1-billion business worldwide.
– GreatFacts.com
• Wearing headphones for just 1 hour increases the bacteria in your ears by 700 times.
– DidyouKnow.org
• A Russian company has just installed caviar-dispensing vending machines at 33 Moscow locations, including the mayor’s office.
– NYPost.com

BS CHRONOMETER 05.19.10

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TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1934 [76] Jim Lehrer, Wichita KS, PBS news anchor (“The News Hour With Jim Lehrer” since 1975)

1945 [65] Pete Townshend, Chiswick UK, dinosaur rock guitarist/singer (The Who-“Who Are You” [“CSI”], “Won’t Get Fooled Again” [“CSI: Miami”])/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1990)

1949 [61] Dusty Hill, Dallas TX, classic rock bassist/singer (ZZ Top-“Legs”, “Tush”)

1954 [56] Phil Rudd, Melbourne, Australia, rock drummer (AC/DC-“Stiff Upper Lip”, “Moneytalks”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Employee Health & Fitness Day”, observed on the 3rd Wednesday of May each year to promote the benefits of physical activity through workplace health promotion activities. Employees benefit through lower levels of stress and improved physical fitness. Employers benefit through enhanced employee productivity and decreased rates of illness and injuries.
NET: http://physicalfitness.org/nehf.html

• “May Ray Day”, an annual celebration of Spring sunshine and people named ‘Ray’. (OK, it’s lame, but hey … any excuse for a party!)

• “Plant Something Day”, which many people would do if they could only be assured the plant would grow. What’s the most foolproof plant you can stick in your garden?

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2005 [05] “Star Wars Episode III – Revenge of the Sith” opens in movie theaters at 12:01 am and grosses a then record $50 million in a single day

2005 [05] Quentin Tarantino directs the “CSI” season finalé (CBS) in which ‘Nick Stokes’ (George Eads) is buried alive

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1974 [26] Philadelphia Flyers become the first ‘expansion club’ to win the NHL’s Stanley Cup

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1995 [15] Balamurali Ambati graduates from NYC’s Mount Sinai Medical School at age 17 to become the ‘World’s Youngest Doctor’

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Eliza Doolittle Day
[Thurs] Weights & Measures Day
[Fri] International Virtual Assistants Day
[Fri] Bike to Work Day
[Fri] Wait Staff Day
[Fri] NASCAR Day
[Fri] Brad Paisley’s “H2O World Tour” begins (Virginia Beach VA)
[Fri] “MacGruber”; “Shrek Forever After” open in movie theaters
This Week Is … Stuttering Awareness Week
This Month Is … Food Drive for Homeless Animals Month

BULL’S BITS

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MAY 2-4 WEEKEND CAMPING TIPS:
• You can duplicate the warmth of a down-filled bedroll by climbing into a plastic garbage bag with several Canada geese.
• You can compress the diameter of your rolled up sleeping bag by running over it with car.
• A potato baked in the coals for 1 hour makes an excellent meal. A potato baked in the coals for 3 hours makes an excellent hockey puck.
• The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes excellent kindling.
• You’ll never be lost if you remember that moss always grows on north side of your compass.
• ‘Sleeping under the stars’ has nothing to do with a TV competition.
• A lot of hostility can be released by using newspaper photos of politicians for toilet paper.
• In an emergency, a drawstring from a hoodie can be used to strangle a snoring tent-mate.

WHAT GUYS ARE READING THIS MONTH:
• ‘Hometown Hotties Of the NBA Playoffs’ – “Maxim”
• ‘9 Smells You Need to Eliminate’ – “Men’s Health”
• ‘Are You Using the Right Protein Powder?’ – AskMen.com
• ‘Everything You Need to Know About Buying Underwear’ – “Details”
• ‘1,000 Things You Don’t Know About Women’ – “Esquire”

WHAT WOMEN ARE READING THIS MONTH:
• ‘10 Natural Ways to Get (or Fake) Whiter Teeth’ – “Woman’s Day”
• ‘What Unleashes a Man’s Inner Caveman’ – “Redbook”
• ‘My Dead First Husband Is Haunting My Marriage’ – “Ladies’ Home Journal”
• ‘11 Things Men Want You to Do More Often … In Bed & Out‘ – “Glamour”
• ‘Is Your Sex Life On the Rocks?’ – “Cosmopolitan”

BS PHONE STARTER:
Scientists tag animals to monitor their behavior; should we tag humans too? (In Mexico, some government workers have had security-coded RFID chips, the size of a grain of rice, implanted in the upper arm. Proponents say having one in every person could relieve anxiety for parents, help save lives, and work on a more mundane level by unlocking doors with the wave of a hand or starting a parked car.)

BS SIGNS YOU’RE TOO DAMN HONEST:
• When everyone in the elevator starts to wince you announce, “It was me!”
• When you’re late for work and the boss asks “Heavy traffic?”, you answer “No, I hate you, I hate this job and I wait until the last possible minute to leave the house each morning.”
• When someone asks why you’re selling a particular item at your garage sale you say “Because it’s a piece of crap that I don’t want anymore but rather than junk it I thought some idiot might give me money for it.”
• When a potential buyer asks why you’re selling your car you say “Because it’s a piece of crap that I don’t want anymore but rather than junk it I thought some moron might give me money for it.”
• Every time your wife asks you if you think she needs to lose some weight you end up sleeping on the couch.

BS PROMOTION:
‘Don’t Party’ – Perfect tie-in with a local club. Everyone attending is encouraged to intentionally commit fashion faux pas by wearing their worst fashion ‘don’ts’. Worst get-up wins!

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
Your thermos smells like a cow died in it. Which should you do?
a. Put a candle in it for a half-hour.
b. Put a Post-It note inside and seal it for 2 days.
c. Fill it with hot water, add a teaspoon of salt, and let it sit. [CORRECT. It’s said to eliminate both milk and coffee odors.]
– “Health”

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Indecision may or may not be my problem.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: A poll of office employees finds the 2nd-most annoying thing they have to deal with is ‘slow computers’. And THIS is #1.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Moody co-workers.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Life is something to do when you can’t get to sleep.