Friday, May 25, 2007        Edition: #3539
Sheet Happens!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY the US Postal Service issues a new set of 15 different commemorative stamps marking 30 years of “Star Wars” movies (NET: http://tinyurl.com/2mojzf) . . . TODAY “Dickens World”, a new $125-million theme park inspired by the works of Charles Dickens, officially opens in Chatham, England with attractions that include ‘Ebeneezer Scrooge’s Haunted House’ and the ‘Great Expectations Boat Ride’ which takes visitors on a tour of ‘Ye Olde London Towne’ . . . SATURDAY Brunei’s Prince Azim (son of the Sultan of Brunei) will celebrate his 25th birthday with a $14-million bash in an English country house, for which the services of Michael Jackson, Pamela Anderson, Olivia Newton-John, Naomi Campbell, Kate Moss, and Dionne Warwick have been summoned at an undisclosed fee (another one of those private party paydays celebs like to keep on the Q-T) . . . Disney is set to make “The Magic Gourd” its first Chinese-language movie, a mix of live action & animation about a young boy who discovers a vegetable that grants him wishes, which will be made in a cooperative effort with the state-run China Film Group . . . A company called Redfreckles has come up with a way to ‘show your love & support’ for Paris Hilton while she’s behind bars, a bracelet engraved ‘Paris Is My Cell Mate’ with proceeds going to Mothers Against Drunk Driving (NET: http://redfreckles.com/) . . . Filmmaker Robert Rodriguez & movie actress Rose McGowan have changed their tune and now admitted they’re a couple after meeting on the set of the fright flick “Planet Terror”, his half of the under-performing “Grindhouse double-feature he released with Quentin Tarantino . . . British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen will further milk his ‘Borat’ character with a unique new travel guide from  Flying Dolphin Press containing 2 parts, “Borat: Touristic Guidings To Minor Nation of US and A” and “Borat: Touristic Guidings To Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan”, each of which will include his observations & advice (NET: http://www.bestofborat.com/) . . . Movie mogul Steven Spielberg has donated a cool $1 million to actor George Clooney’s “Save Darfur” aid campaign, further topping up the $8 million Clooney & his “Ocean’s 13” co-star Brad Pitt took in during a fundraiser at the “Cannes Film Festival” (soon they’ll be able to buy Sudan and fix it) . . . And “Pirates of the Caribbean” star Orlando Bloom will make his West End stage debut in London THIS SUMMER in a revival of the 1969 play “In Celebration”, which may call for some partial nudity onstage (what, you thought they hired him for his acting?).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• ABBA – A museum featuring their music, costumes & instruments is set to open in Stockholm, Sweden in 2009. The group split in 1982 after 10 years together but have enjoyed a resurgence of popularity thanks to the stage musical (and soon to be movie), “Mamma Mia!”.
• Corinne Bailey Rae – TOMORROW she’s the musical guest on “Saturday Night Live” (NBC).
• Daughtry – THIS AFTERNOON he’s on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV).
• The Doors – TODAY the new exhibit  “Break On Through – The Lasting Legacy Of The Doors” opens at the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland OH.
• Dwight Yoakam – TONIGHT the country veteran is on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel).
• Fergie – THIS MORNING she’s a guest on “Good Morning America” (ABC).
• Interpol – The band’s name comes from a lame schoolyard joke about lead singer Paul Banks’ first name.”The Heinrich Maneuver” is from their upcoming 3rd album, “Our Love to Admire”, due JULY 10th.
• Jay-Z – He’s being sued by a former waitress at his NYC nightclub 40/40 for allegedly paying below minimum wage and withholding tips. Is someone bitter about getting fired perhaps?
• Kaiser Chiefs – TONIGHT the “Ruby” rockers do “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC).
• Kelly Clarkson – She blames recent negativity toward her new “My December” album on the fact she’s a female artist doing all her own songwriting. We say it’s more about the screeching.
• The Police – SUNDAY they kick off their 30th-anniversary world reunion tour with a fan club-only concert at GM Place in Vancouver. After 2 more shows there (Monday/Wednesday) the group’s first tour in over 2 decades moves on to Edmonton (June 2), Seattle (June 6), and elsewhere. 55-year-old frontman Sting promises the show is ‘simple but spectacular’.
NET: http://www.thepolicetour.com/
• Prince – He’s in negotiations to play a 7-week ‘residency’ at LA’s Roosevelt Hotel, a series of Friday-night performances as part of a ‘dining & musical experience’. Isn’t that what we used to call a ‘dinner show’?

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENING:
“Bug” ( R-Rated Horror Thriller ): Michael Shannon plays a paranoid, unhinged Gulf War vet who sees insects everywhere. He holes up in a spooky Oklahoma motel room with a lonely waitress (Ashley Judd) who’s on the run from her abusive husband (Harry Connick Jr). This film’s been on the shelf awhile after debuting at the “Cannes Film Festival” … a year ago.
NET: http://www.bugthemovie.com/

KEEPING IT UP … YOUR ENERGY, THAT IS:
Researchers say the male impotence drug sildenafil may be useful for treating jet lag. Argentinean researchers are reporting that the drug better known by the brand name Viagra appears to reduce symptoms. And you get more bang for your buck because the dosage needed is lower than that used to treat male dysfunction. (Guys, if you’re going to try this … you’re really going to need a bulkhead seat.)
– CBC News

TOP MEN’S FASHION:
Worn by real estate mogul Donald Trump and actor Pierce Brosnan when he played ‘James Bond’, Italian label Brioni has been rated the most prestigious luxury men’s fashion brand in the new ‘2007 Luxury Brand Status Index’, based on a poll of wealthy consumers (average net worth: $3 million). Brioni suits take at least 18 hours of work and are hand-stitched. If you order one custom-tailored, you’re looking at about $20,000. Italian high-fashion rival brands Armani and Ermenegildo Zegna tied for 2nd place, while Ferragamo was rated 3rd. (Don’t see my clothier on the list anywhere … Wal-Mart’s ‘George’ line.)
– Reuters

RAW MATERIALS:
Uncooked diets are going mainstream. What used to thought an exotic lifestyle – subsisting on a diet with absolutely no cooked food – is slowly catching on. The biggest change in uncooked culture has been in the perception of raw food as an all-or-nothing choice. Raw food advocates now believe you can still get the benefits of the unprocessed diet, including better nutrition and increased energy, from eating a diet that’s just 70-to-80% raw food. The increased popularity is also due to intriguing new raw recipes for popular foods like pizza and … rawvioli. (Pass me a cow leg.)
– Utne.com

HOT TAMALES:
Who’s the sexiest vegetarian alive? Votes are currently being cast on PETA’s website for the annual competition, and so far, Bryce Dallas Howard (‘Gwen Stacy’ in “Spider-Mn 3”) is the female frontrunner. She’s holding off other veg-chomping stars like pop singer Pink (“U + Ur Hand”, “Bones” star Emily Deschanel, former “Charmed” actress Alyssa Milano, “House” co-star Lisa Edelstein, and movie actress Maggie Q (“Mission: Impossible III”). The list of hot veggie guys is led by “Heroes” hottie Milo Ventimiglia (‘Peter Petrelli’), ahead of Joaquin Phoenix (“Walk the Line”), Casey Affleck (“Ocean’s 13”), and  “Spider-Man” himself, Tobey Maguire.
– MSNBC Scoop

MOST CAREFUL COLOR:
Blondes might have a bad rep for being ditzy but they may make the best drivers. New  Australian research finds that both men & women who describe themselves as ‘fair-haired’ have fewer car crashes than brunettes and redheads of either gender. (If you color your hair, do you automatically drive better?)
– “Cosmopolitan”

EGGHEADS NEED BREAKFAST:
It isn’t called the ‘most important meal of the day’ for nothing. A new review by Agencies for Nutrition Action has found that children with breakfast in their tummies do better academically than their hungry peers. Any teacher will tell you that students who come to school without breakfast don’t perform as well and this study seems to back that up. Interestingly, the benefit of breakfast appears to be greater for math than for other subjects such as reading or writing. (It’s hard to ‘carry the 8′ when your stomach’s growling.)
– NZPA

TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
• One of the freakiest body-art fads may be ‘eyeball jewelry’. In the Netherlands, people pay doctors to implant jeweled half-moons and hearts … into their eyes.
• Crowds are flocking to a remote village in India to catch a glimpse of a 103-year-old man who’s been lying in his grave waiting to die … for 6 years. It seems that after his wife passed away, the man dug his own grave near hers, and now simply lies in wait to join her.
• A drunken 22-year-old in Merrillville IN who decided tipping tombstones might be a fun pastime found out the hard way what a grave offence it is. A 1,000-lb stone he upended fell over, crushing his legs and leaving him unconscious. After cops came to the rescue several hours later, he was charged with criminal trespassing, mischief & public intoxication. He’ll also have to pay back the $8,400 in damages he caused.
• Be advised that you can no longer bring your ‘Love Bug’ brand vibrator when you travel to Cyprus. The ban has been implemented by the Cypriot military, which claims the remote-control love toy disrupts the army’s radio frequencies.

BS AMAZING FACT:
Perspiration is odorless; it is the bacteria on the skin that creates an odor.
– AskMen.com

BS CHRONOMETER 05.25.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1939 [68] Sir Ian McKellen, Burnley UK, movie actor (‘Sir Leigh Teabing’-“The Da Vinci Code”, ‘Gandalf’-“Lord of the Rings” series, ‘Magneto’-“X-Men” series)

1944 [63] Frank Oz, Hereford UK, Muppeteer (‘Miss Piggy’, ‘Fozzie Bear’, ‘Bert’, ‘Grover’, ‘Cookie Monster’)/voice actor (‘Yoda’-“Star Wars” series)/movie director (“The Stepford Wives”)

1963 [44] Mike Myers, Toronto ON, movie actor (“Shrek” series, “Austin Powers” series)/Canadian Walk of Fame (2003)  COMING UP: Will play late Who drummer Keith Moon in the bio-film “See Me Feel Me: Keith Moon Naked for Your Pleasure”, due in 2009.

1969 [38] Anne Heche, Aurora OH, TV actress (‘Marin Frist‘ on “Men in Trees” since 2006)/movie actress (“6 Days 7 Nights”)

1975 [32] Lauryn Hill, South Orange NJ, pop/R&B singer (“Doo Wop [That Thing]”, The Fugees-“Killing Me Softly”)

1976 [31] Ethan Suplee, NYC, TV actor (‘Randy Hickey’ on “My Name Is Earl” since 2005)

SATURDAY –
TV sportscaster Brent Musburger (“ABC Saturday Night College Football”) is 68; Oldies singer Stevie Nicks (Fleetwood Mac) is 59; Country singer Hank Williams Jr (“That’s How They Do It in Dixie”) is 58; Rock singer Lenny Kravitz (“Lady”) is 43; Movie actress Helena Bonham Carter (“Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix”) is 41; TV writer/producer Matt Stone (“South Park”) is 36.

SUNDAY –
Movie actor Louis Gossett Jr (“An Officer & a Gentleman”) is 71; Pop/folk singer Bruce Cockburn (“Lovers in a Dangerous Time”) is 62; Movie actor Paul Bettany (“Da Vinci Code”) is 36; Hip-hop artist André Benjamin (Outkast) is 32.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Flirting Day” (aka ‘Get Slapped With a Harassment Suit Day’).
• “Missing Children’s Day”, promoting awareness of the problem and safety tips for kids and parents. We’re encouraged to turn on porch lights as a way to show hope and support for missing kids and their families.
• “Tap Dance Day”, honoring the birthday of Bill ‘Bojangles’ Robinson, ‘King of Tap Dancers’, in 1878. (You can do an on-air tap dance using 2 pencils on the microphone … gently.)

SATURDAY –
• “Bob Day”, honoring anyone with the name. Why is it they always seem to turn out to be the ultimate ‘OK guy’?
• “Cabot Trail Relay Race”, a 24 Hour, 17 stage running competition around Cape Breton Island’s famous Cabot Trail, starting from Baddeck NS. It’s a killer to drive, let alone run!
NET: http://www.morandan.com/CabotTrail/Relay/
• “Corpus Christi”, a Roman Catholic holiday celebrated in Mexico, Austria, Poland, Spain, Brazil, Germany and elsewhere. Like Corpus Christi, Texas maybe?

SUNDAY –
• “Ancestor Honor Day”, a day to reflect on the contributions of those who’ve gone before us.
• “Indianapolis 500″, the 91st running of the ‘Greatest Spectacle in Auto Racing’. This year, Daughtry rocks the crowd ahead of the race; Patrick Dempsey (“Grey’s Anatomy”) drives the Chevrolet Corvette Pace Car to lead the field of 33 drivers to the start; and Indianapolis Colts QB Peyton Manning (Super Bowl XLI MVP) waves the green flag as the honorary starter.
NET: http://www.indy500.com
• “Sunscreen Day”, to create awareness of the importance of using sunscreen products to protect yourself and your kids from harmful UV rays.

MONDAY –
• “Hamburger Day”, honoring the world’s favorite sandwich whose origins can be traced back as far as the Middle Ages. These days, close to 6 billion burgers are served annually by restaurants. Hamburger meat from a single steer will make about 720 quarter-pound patties.
• “Memorial Day”, observed annually on the last MONDAY in MAY in America, is a day of remembrance for those who’ve died in the nation’s service. It was originally called “Decoration Day” 139 years ago (1868) when General John Logan declared a day to decorate Civil War soldiers’ graves with flowers at Gettysburg PA. Nowadays its more often observed as ‘Beach Day’ or ‘Picnic Day’.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1977 [30] The original “Star Wars” movie is released and eventually earns $775 million worldwide (6 years later, “Star Wars: Return of the Jedi” opens on this date)

1992 [15] Jay Leno debuts as host of NBC-TV’s “The Tonight Show” as Johnny Carson retires after 30 years

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1989 [18] 1st (and only) Stanley Cup won by Calgary Flames (vs Montréal Canadiens)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Mon] Dicing for Bibles (St Ives UK)
[Mon] Hamburger Day
[Mon] Memorial Day (USA)
[Wed] Senior Health & Fitness Day
[Thurs] Save Your Hearing Day
[Thurs] World No-Tobacco Day
[Thurs] “Pirate Master” debuts (CBS)
This Week Is … International Pickle Week
This Month Is … Military Appreciation Month

BULL’S BITS

MORE BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANITY:
• In a restaurant, why do you always end up ‘menu remorse’, wanting what someone else ordered?
• How come dumb stuff seems so smart while you’re doing it?
• If a fat man sings, does that mean it’s halftime?
• Is there anything less meaningful than the first 3 quarters of a basketball game?
• What is a handbasket, and why are they always going to hell?
• Has anyone ever had a child who isn’t ‘really smart for their age’?

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the sexiest thing a woman can wear? (A “Men’s Health” poll finds ‘lingerie’ tops the list, followed by a ‘man shirt’, and ‘high heels with a summer dress’.)

BS RANDOM JOKES:
• Funny how a dollar can look so big when you give it to charity, and so small when you take it to the store.
• There’s nothing like the love of a good woman … except, of course, the love of a bad woman.
• Nutrients aren’t that bad … so long as they are covered in chocolate.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Styles come and go, but THIS has consistently attracted men to women over the years.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: The waist-to-hip ratio

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

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