Monday, May 8, 2006 Edition: #3277
Bull Works!
WEEKEND TABLOID BS:
• YESTERDAY 32-year-old actress Tori Spelling (“So noTORIous”) & 39-year-old Canadian actor Dean McDermott (ex-“Due South”) were wed on a private tropical island in Fiji, both barefoot and wearing white. They met LAST SUMMER in Ottawa while filming the TV movie “Mind Over Murder”. [“People Magazine”]
• 58% of pop culture magazine readers questioned are with Nick Lachey in his divorce battle with Jessica Simpson. 68% side with Jennifer Aniston in her bitterness over Angelina Jolie. [“Us Weekly”]
• 24-year-old “OC” star Rachel Bilson has had a morbid fear of beagles ever since one tried to rip her face off when she was just 3. In fact, she still has a scar on her upper lip. Seems strange then that her constant companion these days is – a pit-bull – a gift from boyfriend/castmate Adam Brody. [“Contact Music”]
• “Rolling Stone” is celebrating its 1,000th issue with a spectacular cover that reportedly cost $1 million to create. Inspired by Peter Blake’s album cover for the Beatles’ 1967 classic “Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Heart’s Club Band”, it boasts over 150 famous faces. [“NY Post”]
• Brad Pitt did not give Angelina Jolie an African fertility necklace as a wedding gift (there are no wedding plans); Jolie’s mother, Marcheline Bertrand, is not on her deathbed; and Jolie is not signed on for “Tomb Raider 3″ or “Ocean’s 13″. Those are among the Jolie-Pitt rumors debunked in the new “People” magazine.
• Movie actors Jake Gyllenhaal (“Brokeback Mountain”) & Austin Nichols (“The Day After Tomorrow”) are just ‘best friends’ – honest – even if they borrow each other’s clothes and stare longingly at each other in public places. [“Star Magazine”]
• Brit model Kate Moss has sent her sometime boyfriend Pete Doherty text messages begging him to kick drugs and then move in with her. The messages came to light after junkie Pete sold his cellphone to a stranger – so he could buy drugs. [“The Sun”]
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Celine Dion – YESTERDAY marked her 500th show at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas. She recently extended her $100-million, 3-year contract that she signed in 2001 through 2007.
• Eminem – His uncle’s old boom-box stereo on which he learned to rap is being sold by his grandmother. Betty Kresin claims he would record himself rapping over tunes playing on the machine. That’s why she wants 5-grand … 18 D-cells to power the monster are extra.
• Coldplay – Chris Martin often flies home between gigs in his private jet.
• George Michael – Tickets to his first European tour in 15 years sold out within hours of going on sale. Hopefully, he’ll leave the driving to a tour bus.
• John Mayer – He’ll be given the ‘Starlight Award’ at this year’s “Songwriters Hall Of Fame Awards” JUNE 15th in NYC. It was established in 2004 to celebrate young songwriters who have already made a lasting impression on the industry. Rob Thomas & Alicia Keys were the previous winners.
• Pink Floyd – Their landmark 1973 album “Dark Side of the Moon” has become the first recording to spend 1,500 weeks on “Billboard” magazine charts … not all of them consecutive but a total of almost 29 years nevertheless. The album has now sold an estimated 40 million copies worldwide.
• Rolling Stones – Former bassist Bill Wyman, who left the band in 1993, has slammed Mick Jagger & Keith Richards, saying they are egomaniacs who only keep rocking because they are incapable of doing anything else. Meantime, reports say Keith Richards is having vodka miniatures smuggled into the New Zealand hospital where he’s being treated for the brain hemorrhage he suffered after falling out of a coconut tree in Fiji.
• Toby Keith – He’s preparing for his 4th USO tour to perform for US troops in Germany and the Persian Gulf region.
• White Stripes – Jack White & model/wife Karen Elson are parents to a new daughter, Scarlett Teresa, named after “Gone With the Wind’s” ‘Scarlett O’Hara’. Scarlett has Jack’s legal last name, ‘Gillis’.
• Whitney Houston – Seems ironic now, but 20 years ago she was featured in a White House-sponsored “Just Say No” video used in the campaign against drug abuse.
TODAY’S TUBE:
• Illusionist David Blaine wraps up his latest stunt, “Drowned Alive”, in which he’s lived underwater for 7 days in a ‘human aquarium’ in NYC. For the live finalé on ABC-TV, he’ll attempt to break the record for holding one’s breath – 8 minutes, 58 seconds.
• Country star Brad Paisley guests on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• Jessica Biel, who played eldest daughter ‘Mary Camden’ on the WB’s “7th Heaven”, will return to reprise her role for the series’ final episode which revolves around the wedding day of ‘Simon Camden’. It’s the WB’s longest-running show, cancelled for money reasons.
• Snoop Dogg will likely attempt to explain his recent bust at London’s Heathrow Airport on NBC’s “Last Call With Carson Daly”.
GOING BUGGY:
Cars that are red or black attract the most bugs. The reason? Light reflected from a dark surface looks like water, so insects try to lay their eggs on it.
– “NY Times”
WACKY WORLD OF BS:
• Keith Stammers, the former mayor of St Albans, England has been forced to give up his city council seat thanks to an age-old ritual. When the recent municipal election vote remained deadlocked after 3 recounts, the tie was finally settled by – picking the longest pencil.
• A 76-year-old woman who drove to Maple Grove Cemetery in Queens NY inadvertently left the car running and in gear when she stopped to visit her husband’s grave. The vehicle mowed her down and she died beside him.
• For the umpteenth time, a 55 year-old man in India has failed to talk his elderly father into coming down out of a mango tree. 80-year-old Gayadhar moved into the tree after a quarrel with his wife – 50 years ago.
• A Chilean couple are suing a 5-star resort in Quinta Region, claiming that their honeymoon stay was ruined after the new bride went for a swim in the hotel pool and her waist-length blonde hair turned – ewww – green. If that’s not bad enough, now everyone is calling her the ‘Incredible Hulk’.
BS SPRING CLEANING TIPS:
Just in case you’re looking for excuses to get out of it …
• Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere.
• That haphazard tower of unread magazines and newspapers next to your chair provides the valuable feng shui aspect of a tiger, thereby reducing your vulnerability.
• For that ‘just-cleaned’ aroma, mix a quarter-cup pine-scented household cleaner with 4 cups of water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly.
• Beware! Vacuuming too often weakens carpet fibers.
• Warning! If disturbed, dust bunnies can evolve into dust rhinos.
• And remember, layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the Sun.
WHO SAID IT?
“I was doing half a gallon of rum with a fifth of rum on the side, 28 beers and 3 grams of cocaine a day. And that wasn’t getting high, that was just to keep going.”
a. Recently re-habbed singer Courtney Love.
b. Movie actor Dennis Hopper. [CORRECT. Against all odds, he’ll turn 70 NEXT WEEK.]
c. Country legend Willie Nelson.
d. British stupor-model Kate Moss.
SOME OLDIES BLOCK DVD GOODIES:
Several hit TV series of the past, including “WKRP in Cincinnati”, “The Wonder Years” and “Beverly Hills 90210″ have not been released on DVD because original producers failed to secure rights to use the music on their soundtracks for home-video. In many cases, re-licensing the rights now is either too expensive or too difficult to negotiate. There have been a few compromises, ie: 4 seasons of “Married … With Children” are now out on DVD – but without the show’s theme, the Frank Sinatra tune “Love & Marriage”.
– “Wall Street Journal”
BS AMAZING FACT:
FOX-TV pays “American Idol” judge and co-producer Simon Cowell $36 million … a year.
FOOD FRIGHT:
One person’s gross-out is another’s delicacy. Take, for instance, these food & drink items that some might consider totally disgusto …
• Balut – A delicacy in Filipino street food, this popular snack is a duck egg, just a day or 2 short of baby duckhood.
• Bugs – One of the favorite insect dishes in Africa’s Botswana is live termites. Mmm, tastes like ants!
• Cobra Wine – A bottle of fiery white liquor containing a whole baby cobra in the bottle is popular in Thailand.
• Cow’s Blood – The Masai tribe in Kenya tap a friendly cow for a shot of fresh blood to mix with their daily glass of milk, believing that this frothy drink makes them strong.
• Durian – This large, spiny Southeast Asian fruit smells so bad that you’re not allowed to take it aboard a Singapore Airlines flight.
• Lutefisk – Norwegians can’t get enough of this dried whitefish soaked in lye which turns it into a strange, vaguely rancid-smelling gelatinous goo.
• Natto – A popular sushi side dish in Japan, these reddish, fermented soybeans smell like strong cheese, and they’re stuck together with a thick, stringy slime.
So what’s the grossest food or beverage you’ve ever consumed?
– Wine Lovers Community.
WHY MEN DUMP WOMEN:
• The thrill is gone.
• You’ve changed.
• You tried to change him.
• He can’t breathe.
• You’re not his ideal.
– Netscape Love & Personals
DID YOU KNOW?
The most expensive US zip code in which to buy a house is now ‘11962′, in Sagaponack NY. Median price – $2,787,500.
– “Forbes Magazine”
BS FRESH MEAT:
A vociferous BS salute to Aaron Tompkins @ Cool 100.1 [CHCQ] Belleville ON who’s re-upped his subscription for another year; and a big moo out to this week’s samplers that include Lanai & Augie @ Island 98.5 [KDNN] Honolulu HI; Craig Fox @ Country1510 [CKOT] Tillsonburg ON; Maggie Beveridge @ Shore Country 94.3 [WINX] Annapolis MD; Dang Malama @ KVNR Westminster CA; and Luis Vazquez @ FM 97.3 [WOYE] Quebradillas, Puerto Rico. You can subscribe or renew your BS subscription right here – http://thebullsheet.com/location.html
THE BULL SHEET 05.08.2K6
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1957 [49] Bill Cowher, Pittsburgh PA, the ‘dean’ of NFL football coaches (he’s been with Super Bowl XL champ Pittsburgh Steelers since 1992)
1972 [34] Darren Hayes, Brisbane, Australia, has-been pop singer (Savage Garden-“I Knew I Loved You”, “Truly Madly Deeply”)
1975 [31] Enrique Iglesias (Preysler), Madrid, Spain, pop singer (“Hero”, “Escape”)/son of sappy singer Julio Iglesias & Filipina beauty Isabel Preysler
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “No Socks Day”, when we’re encouraged to avoid wearing socks to feel less encumbered and help the environment by creating less laundry. While washing your feet prior to participating in the festivities is a requirement, painting your toenails is completely optional.
• “World Red Cross Day”, celebrating the birth of International Red Cross Movement founder Jean Henry Dunant in 1863.
THIS WEEK is “Canadian Emergency Preparedness Week”, a day to prepare for specific emergency situations at home, work, school, or when traveling.
NET: http://www.emergencypreparednessweek.ca
THIS WEEK is the 91st anniversary of “Be Kind to Animals Week”, celebrating the importance of animals in our lives and promoting proper pet care. Mmm, more bacon, please!
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1956 [50] ‘Alfred E Neuman’ (“What, me worry?”) first appears on the cover of “Mad” magazine
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1642 [364] Paul de Chomedy de Maisonneuve founds ‘Ville-Marie’ (Montréal)
1794 [212] US Post Office established (the next day a disgruntled worker offs his boss with a musket)
1886 [120] Atlanta pharmacist Dr John Pemberton introduces ‘Coca-Cola’ (see BULL’S BITS)
1987 [19] Canada’s 1-dollar coin is introduced (‘looney’, ‘loonie’ or ‘loony’ — how do YOU spell it?)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Small Business Day
[Tues] Lost Sock Memorial Day
[Wed] Third Shift Workers Day
[Wed] Root Canal Appreciation Day
[Wed] Clean Up Your Room Day
[Wed] Child Care Provider Appreciation Day
[Thurs] Eat What You Want Day
[Fri] Receptionists Day
[Fri] International Nurse’s Day
THIS WEEK IS . . .
Nurses Week / Astronomy Week / Postcard Week / Self-Help Book Week / Tourism Week / Transportation Week / Goodwill Industries Week / PTA Teacher Appreciation Week / Small Business Week / Hospital Week / Deaf Awareness Week / Flexible Work Arrangements Week / Golf Week / Herb Week / Historic Preservation Week
BULL’S BITS
COCA-COLA FACTS:
• Originally called ‘Globe of Flower Cough Syrup’, the catchier Coca-Cola name comes from inventor John Pemberton’s bookkeeper, who was also the first to write it out in the now-famous script style.
• Coke was originally sold ‘for medicinal purposes’ at Jacob’s Pharmacy in Atlanta GA. There were no profits after the first year of sales.
• The business and secret formula were sold to one Asa Candler in 1889 for $2,300. It was one of his clients, a Mississippi candy store owner, who was first to bottle the stuff in a back room.
• In 1899, large-scale bottling began, and today over 800 million drinks are sold each day in close to 200 countries.
BS BLATANT JOKES:
• I love weekends. In the morning I wander down to the park and feed the pigeons … to my cat.
• I’m on a new diet. It’s simple … never eat anything larger than your head.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Not all moms want you to say it with flowers this “Mother’s Day”. In a recent survey, 33% of moms say they would rather get a dozen of THESE than a dozen roses.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Tools. (Well let’s see, she’s already got dad … )
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
If you take something apart and put it back together enough times, eventually you will have 2 of them.