Friday, May 11, 2018 Edition: #6211
Good Morning, Sheetheads!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Mike Myers is ready for Austin Powers 4! While speaking to ET at the Hollywood premiere of the heist thriller “Terminal”, he said he’d like to reprise his role as the infamously groovy British spy. Myers would like to do a new movie from the perspective of villain Dr. Evil. Quote: “So it would be Dr. Evil 1, Austin Powers 4, is how I would roll. Start the campaign, please. Thank you.” In “Terminal”, Myers plays a goofy janitor who turns out to be more than he appears — its his first live-action film role since a small cameo in Quentin Tarantino’s 2009 flick “Inglourious Basterds”.
-MSN
★ “L.A. Ink star Kat Von D is going to be a mom! The well-inked makeup maven announced on Instagram this week that she and her husband, Leafar Seyer, are expecting their first child. It was just this past February that she used the same method – Instagram – to announce that she and Leafar had gotten married.
(A word of caution to delivery room staff….if she asks for the needle, she might just want another tattoo!)
-MSN
★ Speaking of tattoos, Scarlett Johansson and four of her Avengers co-stars have solidified their bond by getting matching tattoos. Chris Evans, Jeremy Renner, Robert Downey, Jr. and Chris Hemsworth all went under the needle along with Johansson – with Mark Ruffalo the only member of the original six Avengers stars to opt out. The Fantastic Five (whoops…) all got the Avengers symbol along with the number six tattooed on them, to represent the six original stars and their decade-long stint with the Marvel franchise.
(Avengers! Most of us Assemble!)
-Canoe
★ Speaking of Avengers, Robert Downey Jr. was paid more than $1 million a minute for his role in “Spider-Man: Homecoming”. Downey – who has played Iron Man since 2008 – appeared in the Marvel movie for eight minutes, but raked in $10 million, according to figures released by Variety.
-DailyMail
★ Netflix has ordered six half-hour episodes of “After Life,” a new dark comedy series from Ricky Gervais. “After Life” centers on Tony, played by Gervais, who had a perfect life. But after his wife Lisa suddenly dies, Tony changes. After contemplating taking his own life, he decides instead to live long enough to punish the world by saying and doing whatever he likes. He thinks it’s like a Super Power, but it turns out to be tricky when everyone is trying to save the nice guy they used to know.
(This totally sounds like a show that he would do…)
-PageSix
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Julie Bowen, Justin Hartley, Dov Davidoff
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Mayim Bialik, Melissa McCarthy, Leon Bridges
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Guests John Mulaney, Lauren Ambrose, Carter McLean ( R )
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Drew Barrymore, John Boyega, Weezer ( R )
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Annette Bening
• “The Talk” (CBS): Ralph Macchio, Jason George
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Kim Kardashian West, Kris Jenner, Kristin McGee
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Jane Fonda, Foo Fighters
• “Kevin Smith: Silent but Deadly” (SHOWTIME): The filmmaker performs in this comedy special that was taped an hour before his heart attack in February 2018. Topics include his marriage, child, friends and career.
• “Meghan Markle: An American Princess” (FOX): A profile of Meghan Markle, Prince Harry’s bride, and how both her career as an actress and passion for activism could shape her role as a member of the royal family. Included: Piers Morgan on how she will have to adapt to life in the royal.
• “Undercover Boss: Celebrity Edition” (CBS): In the premiere, three-time Olympic Gold medalist Gabby Douglas goes undercover to discover incredibly gifted gymnasts and coaches.
• “Blue Bloods” (CBS): Season finale
• “Stanley Cup Playoffs” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Washington vs. Tampa Bay
SATURDAY-
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Host Amy Schumer, with musical guest Kacey Musgraves.
• “Stanley Cup Playoffs” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Vegas vs. TBD
SUNDAY-
• “Stanley Cup Playoffs” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Washington vs. Tampa Bay
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Lady Gaga – is gearing up to add yet another job to her repertoire: makeup mogul. Her company, Ate My Heart Inc., is moving forward to secure a trademark for a new brand of cosmetics called “Haus Beauty.” It will market things like foundation, eyeliners, shadows and lipsticks, plus other products like something called “beauty milks”. (whatever they are)
• Cardi B – has broken her silence on claims that her entourage attacked a fan after the Met Gala on Monday. In a now-deleted tweet, she wrote that she’s usually accommodating of her fan’s autograph and picture requests, but now that she’s pregnant she has to be more cautious.
• Lorde – Some of her fans are in a panic thanks to some unexpected Instagram spring cleaning. Not only did she delete all her tweets going back to November of 2017, she deleted almost her entire Instagram grid—except for three pictures: One from 2016, one from 2017, and one from 2018.
• Celine Dion – her son Rene-Charles Angelil has dropped several new rap songs, including two covers paying tribute to the Weeknd. Angelil, who uses the moniker ‘Big Tip’, uploaded the songs to his Soundcloud account.
• Cowboy Junkies – have a new album called ‘All That Reckoning’ coming out July 13. It’s their first since 2013’s ‘The Kennedy Suite’.
• Foo Fighters – Dave Grohl told fans at a recent music festival that almost broke his leg again after he stumbled over a speaker on stage, which was captured by a fan on video. He famously had a throne created so that he could play on stage after breaking his leg previously, and even lent Axl Rose the throne to perform with after a similar mishap.
• Billy Joel – You can send Mom a personalized Mother’s Day e-card featuring one of his tunes, such as ‘Piano Man’ or ‘Just the Way You Are’. You can also add your own personal message. https://www.alwaysloveyou.com/
• Prince – his former estate in Turks & Caicos is up for auction. The 10,000 square foot home on five acres of beach-front land also features a 2-story guest house, tennis court, home theater, gourmet kitchen and staff quarters. To bid on this hovel, all you need is $100,000 to put down on deposit. (Which will be refunded when you are outbid by a software developer)
• Eagles – Although Glenn Frey passed away two years ago, his legacy remains alive with the Eagles on the road. Not only is his 24 year-old son Deacon Frey playing and singing with the band, his daughter Taylor is working as a road manager on their current tour.
• Jason Aldean – is turning his tastes to the restaurant biz on Nashville’s Lower Broadway. Jason Aldean’s Kitchen + Rooftop Bar will open in June. The 27,000-square-foot, four-story entertainment complex will feature music on every floor, 250 dining seats, live entertainment, Southern food and six bars…including one on the roof.
• Keith Urban – His new “Graffiti U” album debuted at #1 on the Billboard Country Albums Chart this week, dislodging last week champ, Jason Aldean’s “Rearview Town”, to #2.
TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Life of the Party” (PG-13, Comedy): After her husband abruptly asks for a divorce, a middle-aged mother returns to college in order to complete her degree. (Melissa McCarthy, Gillian Jacobs)
• “Breaking In” (PG-13, Mystery/Suspense): A woman who will stop at nothing to rescue her two children being held hostage in a house designed with impenetrable security. (Gabrielle Union, Billy Burke)
• “Revenge” (R-Rated, Action/Mystery): Never take your mistress on an annual guys’ getaway, especially one devoted to hunting – a violent lesson for three wealthy married men. (Matilda Anna Ingrid Lutz, Kevin Janssens)
• “Beast” (R-Rated, Drama): A troubled woman living in an isolated community finds herself pulled between the control of her oppressive family and the allure of a secretive outsider suspected of a series of brutal murders. (Jessie Buckley, Johnny Flynn)
• “The Escape” (Not Rated, Drama): A woman sets out to reclaim her life in this stirring, emotionally rich look at what it means to start over. (Gemma Arterton, Dominic Cooper)
STUFF YOU DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT MOTHER’S DAY:
➠ It was created by a Mom: Ann Reeves Jarvis arranged Mothers’ Friendship Day in West Virginia in the 1860s. A social activist (and mother of 13), she hoped the special day would quiet the animosity between the Union and Confederate soldiers at the end of the Civil War (“Kids, you all settle down. Here, draw some nice flowers for your mother…”).
➠ The French once gave medals to their Mothers: After World War I, the French were desperate to rebuild the country. So the government celebrated Mother’s Day in 1920 by presenting women who had five children with a bronze medal. Mothers of eight got silver, and those with ten-—or more!—got the gold (and medication…).
➠ It’s a big celebration in Mexico: Día de las Madres (on May 10) is one of the biggest holidays for restaurants—and for mariachi bands. Because of the high demand, families often hire a band months in advance to perform just for Mom, and children rouse her in the morning with a traditional song as a precursor of the show to come (Mine did the same thing…if the “Barney” theme can be considered traditional…).
➠ She is definitely worth the flowers and restaurant bill: It is estimated that it would cost US$67,619 a year to hire someone to do all the household tasks that Mom does for free: cooking, cleaning, kissing boo-boos. That’s about what the average accountant or chiropractor makes.
➠ Mama is always the same: Babies in nearly every country on the planet speak the word “mama” in almost exactly the same way. (But do people call their girlfriend ‘baby’ in other languages?)
-ReadersDigest
WITH GREAT BOOZE COMES GREAT RESPONSIBILITY:
A Canadian spirits company has become the first in the country to affix single use breathalyzers to a number of their biggest selling mixed drinks. London, Ontario based Black Fly Beverage Company has announced that this summer, many of their products will come with the Alcograd single-use breathalyzer, which measures blood alcohol levels within certain ranges, and is easy to use. When a drinker blows into the tube, it will change color depending on the individual’s alcohol level. White means a 0% Blood Alcohol Concentration (BAC) and purple indicates a 0.08% or higher BAC, which is the maximum legal BAC for drivers in Canada. The breathalyzer is both FDA Approved and endorsed by MADD Canada. Black Fly spirit mixed drinks are sold in every Canadian province and 8 U.S. states, and come in flavors like ‘Zombie Rum’, ‘Vodka Mixed Berry’ and ‘Tequila Margarita’.
(What color does it turn when you hiccup and it gets lodged in your throat?)
(It’s just a matter of time before this becomes part of a party game!)
(Great. Now my teenager is going to have a collection of purple breathalyzers on his dresser!)
-BlackFlyBeverages
BS CHRONOMETER 05.11.18
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1952 [66] Frances Fisher, England, movie actress (“Ttitanic”, “Unforgiven”)
1982 [36] Jonathan Jackson, Orlando FL, TV actor (‘Avery Barkley’ on “Nashville” since 2012)
1988 [30] Blac Chyna (Angela Renee White), Washington, DC, model, reality star (“Rob & Chyna” 2016)
1989 [29] Cam Newton, Atlanta GA, NFL quarterback (Carolina Panthers since 2011)
SATURDAY-
1955 [63] (Leon) Kix Brooks, Shreveport LA, country singer (Brooks & Dunn- ‘Boot Scootin’ Boogie’, ‘My Maria’)
1959 [59] Ving Rhames, NYC, movie actor (“Mission: Impossible” films, “Pulp Fiction”)
1962 [56] Emilio Estevez, Staten Island, NY, movie actor (“Breakfast Club”, “The Outsiders”, “The Mighty Ducks” movies)
1968 [50] Tony Hawk, Carlsbad, CA, Skateboarder (completed the first documented 900 on a skateboard/Birdhouse founder/video game entrepreneur)
1978 [40] Malin Akerman, Stockholm, Sweden [raised Niagara-On-the-Lake ON], TV actress (‘Lara Axelrod’ on “Billions” 2016)/movie actress (“Rock of Ages”)
1986 [32] Emily VanCamp, Port Perry ON, movie actress (“Captain America: Civil War”, “Captain America: The Winter Soldier”)/TV actress (“Revenge” 2011-15)
SUNDAY-
Pop/R&B singer Stevie Wonder is 68; TV Host Stephen Colbert (“Late Show”) is 54; Country singer Darius Rucker (‘Wagon Wheel’) is 52; Actress Lena Dunham (“Girls”) is 32; movie actor Rob Pattinson (“Twilight Saga”) is 32
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Eat What You Want Day”, a day to ignore all the warnings, avoid worrying and counting calories, and thereby fight our obsession with being thin. (Okay, so if healthfulness is not in play, what do you really, really want?)
• “Twilight Zone Day” is that mysterious day highlighted with eerie background music and unexplainable occurrences. Why today? It isn’t the anniversary of the first episode. It isn’t the anniversary of the birth or death of its creator, Rod Serling. It’s just totally unexplainable….
• “Foam Rolling Day” Foam rolling has been called the poor man’s massage. We can’t get a massage every day, so foam rolling is the next best thing! A once-mysterious technique used only by professional athletes, coaches, and therapists, it is now a familiar everyday practice for people at all levels of fitness. But why does it HURT?
• “Hostess Cupcake Day” a day to celebrate and enjoy one of America’s most beloved snack cakes.
• “Canadian Tulip Festival” through May 22nd in Canada’s Capital Region of Ottawa-Gatineau. The world’s largest tulip festival is thanks to a gift of 100,000 tulip bulbs from Dutch Princess (later Queen) Juliana in 1945 as thanks for providing her a home during WW2.
SATURDAY-
• “International Nurses Day”, a highlight of “Nursing Week” that commemorates the 1820 birth date of the founder of modern nursing, Florence Nightingale. Here’s to you, RNs!
• “Limerick Day”, celebrating the 1812 birthday of Edward Lear, author of the first collection of limericks, “The Book of Nonsense”. You’ll find some ‘Loony Limericks’ here …
https://libguides.uwlax.edu/c.php?g=615047&p=4276692
• “Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Awareness Day”, promoting awareness of the syndrome officially known as Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, or ‘M-E’. Today is also “Fibromyalgia Awareness Day”, a similar malady that can cause debilitating fatigue, sleep disturbance, and joint stiffness.
SUNDAY-
• “Mother’s Day” in some 60 countries including Australia, Canada, Denmark, Italy, New Zealand, Turkey, and the USA. The modern holiday of Mother’s Day was first celebrated in 1908, when Anna Jarvis held a memorial for her mother at a church in Grafton, West Virginia. More North Americans eat out on “Mothers Day” than any other special occasion. (No reservations? Forget it.)
• “Apple Pie Day”, The first apple pie recipe was printed in England in 1381. Ingredients included good apples, good spices, figs, raisins, pears, saffron and cofyn (a type of pastry crust).
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2000 [18] George Clooney makes a surprise return appearance on NBC-TV’s “ER” as ‘Dr Doug Ross’ (he’d left the show in 1998 after 5 seasons to pursue bigscreen stardom)
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1981 [37] Legendary reggae musician Bob Marley dies of brain cancer in Miami FL at age 36 (today is “Bob Marley Day” in Jamaica)
2011 [07] One of the rarest rock T-shirts in the world, a 1979 Led Zeppelin tee, sells on eBay for $10,000, the largest sum ever paid for a vintage tee
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2000 [18] The population of India officially crosses the 1 billion mark, making it the world’s 2nd billionaire country after China
TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
2003 [15] Virginia resident Gary Duschl, who began a chain of chewing gum wrappers as an 11-year-old in Canada in 1965, passes the 1 million mark (his chain of wrappers stretches over 8 miles and weighs 600 lbs)
2011 [07] In Nepal, Sherpa Apa Sherpa achieves a new record by climbing Mount Everest for the 21st time
2015 [03] Two art works set world records at a Christie’s auction in NYC, as Pablo Picasso’s painting “Women of Algiers Version O” sells for $160 million and Alberto Giacometti’s sculpture “Pointing Man” sells for $141.3 million
BULL’S BITS
BS WACK MOM FACTS:
✓ A mother giraffe gives birth standing up, meaning her newborn’s first experience is a 1.8 meter (6-foot) drop.
✓ African elephants carry their babies for 22 months before giving birth.
✓ Female polar bears must gain about 200kg (400 pounds) from seal blubber before they can get pregnant.
✓ More people purchase flowers or plants on Mother’s Day than any other holiday, except Christmas.
✓ More phone calls are made on Mother’s Day than any other day of the year.
✓ A Russian is credited by Guinness as having given birth to the most children (69, including 16 pairs of twins, 7 sets of triplets and 4 sets of quadruplets).
-Promoter
BS MOM’S PET PEEVES:
• When you grab a snack and it spoils your dinner.
• When you don’t know the difference between there, their and they’re.
• When you refer to her as “Mother”.
• Having to say everything twice. Having to say everything twice.
• When you chew with your mouth open.
• When you let her call go straight to voicemail.
• When she calls everyone for dinner and they don’t come immediately.
• Yo’ Momma jokes
-Twitter
BS CLEAR SIGNS YOU’RE A MOM:
▸ You do more in seven minutes than most people do all day.
▸ Happy hour has become the 60 minutes between your kids going to bed and you going to bed.
▸ A glass of wine counts as a serving of fruit.
▸ You have mini-therapy sessions all day long with anyone who will listen.
▸ Going to the grocery store by yourself is a vacation.
▸ Instead of running from projectile vomit, you run towards it.
-First published in BS in 2017
BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the most embarrassing thing that you’ve had to go to the emergency room for?
BS RANDOM JOKE:
If evolution really works, how come Mothers only have two hands?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 22% of men say they do THIS when they are sad. What?
Answer: Call their Mom
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Mothers hold their children’s hands for a short while, but their hearts forever.
