Friday, May 3, 2024 — Edition: #7705
Sheet For Brains!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Meryl Streep will pick up an honorary Palme d’Or at the 77th Cannes Film Festival. Streep will receive her honors during the May 14 opening ceremony, which French actress Camille Cottin will host. As announced in April, George Lucas will receive an honorary Palme d’Or at the May 25 closing ceremony. Streep said in a statement: “I am immeasurably honored to receive the news of this prestigious award. To win a prize at Cannes, for the international community of artists, has always represented the highest achievement in the art of filmmaking.”
-TheWrap
★ The “Sex and the City” revival is coming up Rosie. Rosie O’Donnell has joined the cast of “And Just Like That…” for the series’ upcoming third season. She’ll play the role of a new character named ‘Mary’. On Instagram, O’Donnell posted a photo of her script and a selfie, writing: “Here comes mary #andjustlikethat @hbo”. Her character will appear in the season premiere, titled “Outlook Good.” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/2beef8k2
-PageSix
★ Jerry Seinfeld says he’s tickled with how “Curb Your Enthusiasm” ended. The show riffed on the divisive series finale of “Seinfeld” by putting Larry David in prison, but in the final moments, David, joined by Seinfeld, walked out of jail and mentioned this is how Seinfeld should have ended. It was a nod to that show’s series finale, which put all the main characters in prison and kept them there. Seinfeld revealed that he and David hatched the “Curb” ending “very late on a Friday”, and felt like it was the “perfect joke.” Quote: “It’s not vindication. It’s more executing a joke with a 25-year lag between the setup and the punchline. That’s just a comedic glory.”
-TheWrap
★ For the ageless wonder that is Cher, the beat goes on at 77. And she has some very simple reasons for dating younger men, like her current boyfriend, music producer Alexander “AE” Edwards — who, at 38, is 39 years her junior. She explained on “The Jennifer Hudson Show” that, quote: “The reason I go out with young men is because men my age or older — well, now they’re all dead.” She also said that men have always been “terrified to approach” her, but younger men were the only ones that [did].”
-NYPost
★ Tyra Banks apparently just had her first alcoholic beverage as an adult — and she downed it to ring in the big 5-0. The supermodel says she wanted to be her most authentic self as she celebrated her big birthday in December, and was inspired to try new things. So, she spent her special day enjoying a seaplane adventure with her mom and best friend in Australia, where they enjoyed a meal and an alcoholic beverage. But that doesn’t mean she liked it. Quote: “It wasn’t worth it. I was like, ‘This is nasty!’”
-TMZ
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” (ABC/Global): TBA
• “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Simu Liu, WILLOW
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): TBA
• “After Midnight” (CBS/Global): Ron Funches, Adam Pally, Blair Socci (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Paul Rudd, Paula Pell (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Brooke Shields
• “The Talk” (CBS): Max Thieriot, Preacher Lawson
• “Live With Kelly and Mark” (ABC/CTV): Winston Duke, Kim Fields
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Jerry Seinfeld, Henry Hall, Maddie Zahm, Nick Fradiani
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Cyndi Lauper
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Hannah Waddingham
• “Fire Country” (CBS): Station 42 and Three Rock host Edgewater’s Annual Firefighters’ Ball in an effort to impress the governor and save the camp; Gabriela’s mom makes a surprise appearance.
• “Shark Tank (ABC): Season 15 finale. A coffee substitute that does not cause jitters; an easier way to floss; guest Shark Candace Nelson.
• “NHL Playoffs” (Check local listings): Vancouver @ Nashville; Edmonton @ LA; Dallas @ Vegas
• “NBA Playoffs” (Check local listings): Cleveland @ Orlando; LA Clippers @ Dallas
SATURDAY-
• “2024 Kentucky Derby” (NBC): The first jewel in the Triple Crown of horse racing, in Lexington KY. Wynonna Judd will sing the anthem ahead of the 150th annual ‘Run for the Roses’. The purse for 2024 is $5 million.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Dua Lipa hosts and performs
• “NHL Playoffs (Check local listings): Toronto @ Boston
SUNDAY-
• “American Idol” (AVC): The top 7 finalists take on iconic hits from Adele; Ciara guest mentors.
• “The Equalizer” (CBS): McCall races to help Dante and Big Ben after they are ambushed by a group of suspicious attackers; a major family secret is revealed.
• “The Simpsons” (Fox): Marge comes upon a surprising windfall and, angry with Homer, spends it secretly on herself.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• The Weeknd — has donated $2 million from his XO Humanitarian Fund to provide 18 million loaves of bread to help families in Gaza. This follows a previous donation of $2.5 million in Dec., which provided 820 tons of food parcels to feed 173,000 Palestinians for 2 weeks. He’s also asking fans to donate.
• Selena Gomez — Benny Blanco knows he’s a lucky guy to be dating her. While promoting his new cookbook on “TODAY With Hoda & Jenna”, the producer said: “I wake up every day, and I look in the mirror, and I’m like, ‘How did this happen?’” Answering his own question, he said: “The only way I got where I am is by cooking food. That’s the best first date in the world.”
• Coldplay – On May 11, the concert film “Music of the Spheres: Live at River Plate” will stream for free on Veeps.com. It was shot during the group’s 10 sold-out shows at Buenos Aires’ River Plate stadium last spring, and a resulting 2-night theatrical event was previously the only chance for fans to see it.
• Maroon 5 — A few weeks ago, they reposted a video that Mick Jagger had shared, showing him dancing to the band’s hit ‘Moves Like Jagger’. Now, frontman Adam Levine has reposted video of the Toronto Raptors’ star Scottie Barnes singing the 2004 hit ‘This Love’ at karaoke in Cancun. He tagged Barnes, who reposted, adding the comment: “So Cool”.
• Lenny Kravitz – after going viral with a post that showed him lifting weights in boots and leather pants, he has now explained his unusual choice of attire. Quote: “I’m coming from somewhere or I’m going somewhere…I’m gonna pop in, I’ve got 45 minutes, we’re gonna hit it and I’m gonna go run to where I’m going….I didn’t do that to be like…“let me be just different and wear leather pants and glasses.”
• Jason Aldean and Sam Hunt – are just 2 of the acts whose concerts will be a part of Live Nation’s annual Concert Week promotion, offering $25 tickets to see A-list musical acts between May 8-14. Other acts involved include: 21 Savage, Pink, Avril Lavigne, Blink-182, Lynyrd Skynyrd & ZZ Top, and many more. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/bdhj8m42
• Carrie Underwood – has a new addition to her farm – a donkey named ‘Chili Dog’. In her post announcing Chili Dog’s arrival, she was sure to mention his parents’ names: Jack and Diane. (***If you don’t get the connection, Google the lyrics to ‘Jack and Diane’***)
• CMT’s Next Women of Country — is coming to Nashville’s CMA Fest 2024 — with a concert and a conversation. The event, featuring Tanner Adell, Mae Estes, Kylie Frey, Emily Ann Roberts and Tigirlily Gold, will happen on June 7. The Next Women of Country has been around for 11 years, with the goal of spotlighting up-and-coming female country artists.
SHOOTING THE BULL
NEW MOVIES THIS WEEK:
• “The Fall Guy” (PG-13, Action/Drama): Fresh off an almost career-ending accident, a stuntman must track down a missing movie star, solve a conspiracy, and win back the love of his life while still doing his day job. (Ryan Gosling, Emily Blunt, Aaron Taylor-Johnson) Tomatometer: 86%
• “Tarot” (PG-13, Horror): When a group of friends recklessly violates the sacred rule of Tarot readings, they unknowingly unleash an unspeakable evil. One by one, they come face to face with fate. (Harriet Slater, Adain Bradley, Avantika Vandanapu) No Tomatometer rating.
• “Unfrosted” (PG-13, Comedy, Netflix release): Michigan, 1963. Kellogg’s and Post, sworn cereal rivals, race to create a pastry that will change the face of breakfast forever. A tale of ambition, betrayal, sugar, and menacing milkmen. (Jerry Seinfeld, Melissa McCarthy, Jim Gaffigan) No Tomatometer rating.
DON’T WORRY, BE HAPPY:
Scientists are warning that “blowing a fuse” when you’re angry could affect your blood vessels’ ability to relax, and increase your risk of heart attack and stroke. In a trial, 280 study participants were given tasks that made them remember feelings of anger, sadness, anxiety or neutrality. Only when feeling anger did the volunteers’ display an increase in markers for adverse vascular health. The impacts on blood vessels were seen for up to 40 minutes. The researchers, from Columbia University in New York, say that while that might not seem so bad, there could be a cumulative effect, leading to long-term health consequences. They suggest that since anger is a natural human emotion, the best approach might be to learn to process your feelings without letting them fester.
(What? And let all my awesome swear words go to waste?)
(The problem is that if I hold it in, I’m likely to have a heart attack anyway!)
-CTV, NYPost
WEDDING THING:
There’s a new wedding trend happening these days, and it’ll cost you even more than having an open bar. And I’m pretty sure it’s even tackier than sending guests home with seed packets bearing a saying about your love growing. It involves hiring a guy to dress up like a robot and blast drunken guests with cold air from a giant, futuristic gun. For $500-$1,200 an hour, you could hire “Party Robot”, a hulking Terminator-style robot with built-in party lights, who claims to keep the energy high on the wedding dance floor, making it feel like a Vegas nightclub. Party Robot also blasts a carbon-dioxide cannon of cold fog at guests, and lets the bride and groom take a few turns with it. Made by a Chinese robotics company and piloted by a human on stilts, the Party Robot has become popular at weddings among a certain…um…demographic on Long Island, NY, and in other cities. A report in the Washington Post mentions that the Party Robot also requires a “human bodyguard”, because it sometimes falls, hurting the human inside. Oh, and “Drunk people love Party Robot”. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/52s6mdek
(Sounds like fun…but at a wedding?)
(If I wanted someone at MY wedding who “drunk people love”, who requires a bodyguard, and threatens to shoot people at random, I would have invited my Uncle Jerry!)
-Insider, WashingtonPost
NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ A Pennsylvania man says his emotional support alligator has gone missing. Joie Henney, who has thousands of social media users following his pages devoted to ‘Wally’, credits the gator for helping relieve his depression. He posted photos and videos of people petting the 5½ foot (1.7 meter) alligator like a dog – and hugging it like a teddy bear. Henney suspects Wally was stolen from an outdoor enclosure where Wally spent the night while on vacation in Georgia. Wally’s popularity soared to new heights last year when the gator was denied entry to a Philadelphia Phillies game. (Should I just say the obvious thing here? “See ya later, alligator”??)
➢ The California Highway Patrol has shared an Instagram post showing a driver trying to use a dummy resembling rapper Snoop Dogg as a passenger, in order to drive in the carpool lane. Alongside a pic of the dummy, who wore a black hoodie and black sunglasses, the post reads: “We’ve gotta give it to them, the appearance is next level modeling but at the end of the day … plastic is plastic.” It goes on to say that an officer stopped the vehicle for crossing solid double lines, “only to realize the driver was the only occupant in the vehicle, with their plastic friend. The goatee was sharp … just a little too sharp.” The driver was given a citation for “multiple carpool violations”. (Ironically, compared to most Californians, the dummy only contains an average amount of plastic!) LINK: https://tinyurl.com/2vzrppmz
DID YOU KNOW?
Disney’s Magic Kingdom now has Michelin magic, too. The restaurant, “Victoria & Albert’s” at Disney World’s Grand Floridian Resort & Spa, is the first theme-park eatery ever to earn a Michelin star. The restaurant at the “Happiest Place on Earth” offers 2 menus — a standard bill of fare at $295 and the chef’s tasting menu, which runs $395 per person. Optional wine pairings start at $155. The restaurant also offers water lists, an ornate coffee and tea service and a collection of more than 500 wines from 35 regions. (Sounds expensive, but eating there is still cheaper than just grabbing a burger and fries beside Buzz Lightyear’s Space Ranger Spin…!)
-NYPost
BS CHRONOMETER 05.03.24
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Two Different Colored Shoes Day” to celebrate your uniqueness and put it on display today. Wear 2 different colored shoes, and see where they take you. (I think [***afternoon guy***] celebrates this a few times every month…)
• “No Pants Day”, the perfect excuse to…well, you know. Go about your normal routine and act as normal as possible, as if nothing is odd about not wearing pants. Why? We’re not quite sure. But as you may have guessed the idea came from a group of college students. (University of Texas at Austin).
• “Wordsmith Day, just one more excuse for miscellaneous merriment. How scintillating, yet somehow egregious…
• “Paranormal Day”, a day for all paranormal enthusiasts to get together and share their unique experiences with each other. Seminars and readings are scheduled worldwide. (Personally, I would hold this on Oct. 31. Maybe a pair o’ paranormal days?)
• “Specially-Abled Pets Day”, begun in 2006 to educate the public about caring for disabled pets and to find homes for orphaned and physically-challenged animals.
• “World Press Freedom Day”, created by the UN to recognize the value of freedom of expression and the sacrifices journalists have made to attain this freedom.
• “International Space Day”, dedicated to the extraordinary achievements, benefits, and opportunities in the exploration of space. The goal is to promote math, science, technology, and engineering education in young people, in hopes of inspiring them to pursue a career in science or space-related jobs.
• “International Tuba Day”, to celebrate the musical instrument that seems to get no respect, and to recognize tubists around-the-world who struggle with the ‘weight and size of their instrument’.
• “Garden Meditation Day”, a day to let go of your concerns, and center your full attention on a garden, even if it’s just for a few minutes. (Maybe meditate about when you’re going to get around to weeding?)
SATURDAY-
• “Intergalactic Star Wars Day”, an unofficial holiday celebrating the Star Wars media franchise. Why today? Because of the painful pun: “May the 4th be with you” (ouch!). Even though the holiday was not created by Lucasfilm, it has been embraced by the company, and parent company Disney, as an annual celebration of Star Wars.
• “International Firefighters’ Day”, to recognize the efforts of those brave hearts who risk their lives to keep us safe. (And the job consistently picked in polls as ‘Sexiest Profession’.) LINK: http://www.firefightersday.org
• “Free Comic Book Day”, held on the 1st Saturday in May each year, when participating comic book shops give away comic books absolutely free to anyone who comes in.
• “Beer Pong Day”, first organized at The University of Arizona in Tucson. A celebration of the most-popular game in college dorms everywhere.
• “Petite & Proud Day”, for all people under 5’4″ who are tired of derogatory comments about their size. It’s all about celebrating your lack of height and the advantages it brings. Famous names 5’4″ and under include: Amy Poehler, Eva Longoria, Natalie Portman, Michael J Fox, Reese Witherspoon, Dolly Parton and Bruno Mars. (And, we suspect, Danny DeVito…)
• “Relationship Renewal Day”, a day to forget the old problems and celebrate your relationship making it through yet another year. Couples are encouraged to congratulate one another … and each other.
• “Respect For Chickens Day”, promoting compassionate and respectful treatment of domestic fowl. Advocacy group United Poultry Concerns asks us to celebrate the beauty and dignity of chickens and protest the bleakness of their lives in farming operations. LINK: http://www.upc-online.org
• “National Orange Juice Day”, When someone mentions Vitamin C, you probably picture a glass of orange juice. OJ has more nutrients than virtually any other fruit juice. If you want maximum goodness, drink it with the pulp in. (If you don’t, have a screwdriver!)
• “Anti-Bullying Day”, as declared by the UN, when people wear a pink shirt to symbolize a stand against bullying. It originated in Canada, and is now celebrated on various dates around the world.
SUNDAY-
• “Cinco de Mayo”, a Mexican holiday commemorating the 1862 victory over French troops at the Battle of Puebla. Mexicans (and honorary Mexicans) everywhere celebrate with parades and fiestas. (The only downside to Cinco de Mayo is “Seis de Hangover”!) Today is also called . . .
• “Totally Chipotle Day”, a celebration of the smoked jalapeño pepper.
• “Revenge of the Fifth”, the day after the Star Wars-themed “May the Fourth Be With You”, a play on “Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith”, celebrating the Sith Lords and other villainous characters from the Star Wars series.
• “Cartoonists Day”, kicking off “Cartoon Art Appreciation Week”, to create greater public awareness of and appreciation for the cartoon. Why today? “The Yellow Kid”, the first newspaper comic strip, was first published on this day 128 years ago (1895). What’s your favorite? Least favorite?
• “Hoagie Day”, celebrating the super-sized sandwich also known as a sub, grinder, hero, Italian sandwich, po’ boy, wedge, zeppelin, or torpedo. What’s the best combo?
• “International Midwives Day”, observed since 1991 in over 50 nations to recognize and honor these healthcare professionals who are experts in women’s reproductive health.
• “International Roller Derby Day”, an unofficial worldwide holiday celebrating the unique sport. (***Find your roller derby name here… LINK: https://tinyurl.com/5m8zrxb5 ****)
• “Oyster Day”, celebrating the mollusk delicacy enjoyed by many. (What brave soul could have first decided to eat one of these things?)
• “Lemonade Day”, a fun, experiential program that teaches youth how to start, own and operate their very own business – a lemonade stand. Each year, in participating cities, youth have the opportunity to experience entrepreneurship.
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1934 [90] Frankie Valli, Newark NJ, pop singer (‘Grease’, The Four Seasons-‘Big Girls Don’t Cry’, ‘December, 1963 [Oh, What a Night]’)/Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, 1990
1946 [78] Greg Gumbel, New Orleans LA, TV sportscaster (“The NFL on CBS”, 1998-2023, NCAA basketball since 1998)/brother of Bryant Gumbel
1951 [73] Christopher Cross (Geppert), San Antonio TX, pop singer (‘Ride Like the Wind’, ‘Arthur’s Theme [Best That You Can Do]’)
1969 [55] Amy Ryan, Queens NY, TV actress (‘Holly’ on “The Office” 2008-11, “Only Murders in the Building” 2021-22)/movie actress (“Birdman”)
1970 [54] Bobby Cannavale, Union NJ, TV actor (Emmy as ‘Vince’ on “Will & Grace”, “Boardwalk Empire” 2012)/movie actor (“Ant Man” films)
1971 [53] John Driskell Hopkins, Atlanta GA, country multi-instrumentalist-vocalist (Zac Brown Band-‘Colder Weather’, ‘Chicken Fried’)
1975 [49] Christina Hendricks, Knoxville TN, TV actress (“Good Girls” 2018-2021, “Mad Men” 2007-15, “Firefly” 2002-03)/Esquire magazine’s ‘Sexiest Woman in the World’, 2010
1977 [47] Eric Church, Granite Falls NC, country singer (‘Record Year’, ‘Drink in My Hand’)
1984 [40] Cheryl Burke, San Francisco CA, professional dancer (first 2-time champion on “Dancing With the Stars”)
1990 [34] Brooks Koepka, West Palm Beach FL, pro golfer (2X US Open winner, 3 PGA Championships, 2 Masters wins
SATURDAY- Richard Jenkins (“The Shape of Water”) is 77; Mick Mars (ex-Mötley Crüe) is 73; Randy Travis (‘Forever & Ever Amen’) is 65; Will Arnett (“Arrested Development”) is 54; Mike Dirnt (Green Day) is 52; Erin Andrews (“Fox NFL”) is 46; Lance Bass (‘NSYNC) is 45; pro golfer Rory McIlroy is 35
SUNDAY- Brian Williams (“NBC Nightly News”) is 65; Craig David (‘I Know You’) is 43; Henry Cavill (“Man of Steel”) is 41; Adele [Adkins] (‘Hello’) is 36; Brooke Hogan (“Brooke Knows Best”) is 36; Chris Brown (‘Forever’) is 35
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2018 [06] The Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences members vote to expel Bill Cosby and Roman Polanski
2021 [03] Microsoft founder Bill Gates and his wife, philanthropist Melinda, announce their divorce after 27 years
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1986 [38] Dolly Parton’s “Dollywood” amusement park opens near Gatlinburg, Tennessee
2010 [14] ‘I Gotta Feelin’’ by The Black Eyed Peas reaches over 5.56 million downloads, making it the best-selling digital song of all time, surpassing Flo-Rida’s ‘Low’. It eventually sells 8 million, and retains the record as streaming replaces downloads
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1934 [90] The first-ever ‘Comic Book’ is published, “Famous Funnies,” from Dell Books
1978 [46] The first “spam” email is sent, when a Digital Equipment Corporation marketing representative sends an unsolicited bulk commercial message to every ARPANET address on the US west coast
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1986 [38] 54-year-old Willie Shoemaker, aboard 18-to-1 longshot Ferdinand, becomes the oldest jockey ever to win the Kentucky Derby
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ 15 minutes of shivering from cold temperatures can be the metabolic equivalent of 1 hour of exercise.
✓ In the 18th century, tornados were called “twirlblasts” and “twirlwinds”.
✓ More than one-fifth of all the calories consumed by humans is provided by rice alone.
✓ Right-handed people chew most of their food on the right side of their mouth, whereas left-handed people do so on the left.
✓ Having a sarcastic friend can boost your creativity.
✓ Despite the fact that she has her own fragrance line, Beyoncé is allergic to perfume.
Buzzfeed, BestLife
Best of BS . . .
BS BEST YEARBOOK QUOTES:
• I’ll totally explain this hairstyle at the reunion.
• Do they have more accommodating trash bins to be stuffed in, in college?
• If at first you don’t succeed, transfer to Mr. Wilson’s 5th Period class. He’ll give anyone a C.
• Best 6 years of my life!
• If you’re still single, look me up in 10 years.
• I never seem to finish what I sta…
• I’ve had a great year. But it sure wasn’t this one.
• See everyone next fall in the school of hard knocks!
• Picture not available
• I’m not allowed within 300 feet of a school, yet here I am!
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2019
BS SENTENCES YOU DON’T WANT TO HEAR:
• “What pill?”
• “Do you think she’s hotter than me?”
• “There’s something I’ve never told you that you need to hear.”
• “Hello, I’m from the tax department …”
• “Can I see you in the conference room?”
• “You mean you actually ATE it?”
• “How strange … you kiss just like your Dad!”
• “We’re not planning layoffs, but there will be some restructuring.”
• “This is your doctor calling … remember that test you did?”
• “Mind getting on top? My nose is running.
-First published in BS in 2011
BS WEB GOODIE:
I’m just here for the dance moves: https://fb.watch/rvRcVXWEb8/
BS RANDOM JOKE:
May the 4th be with you. May the 5th be Cinco de Mayo.
BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the WORST advice that you ever received?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Among the most-often recurring dreams reported, #1 is falling, and #2 is being chased. What is #3?
Answer: Being back in school
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.
