Wednesday, May 29, 2024 — Edition: #7722

Accept No Substitutes, Ask For 100% Pure BS!

 

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Jimmy Kimmel is celebrating his 7-year-old son’s third open heart surgery. Monday, he shared a pic on Instagram of his and Molly McNearney’s son smiling in a hospital room, and wrote: “This weekend, our boy Billy had his third (of 3, we hope) open heart surgery. We went into this experience with a lot of optimism and nearly as much fear and came out with a new valve inside a happy, healthy kid”. Kimmel also thanked Billy’s surgeon and the medical professionals at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles. He ended his note by calling Billy “the toughest (and funniest) 7 year-old we know,” and pausing to reflect: “There are so many parents and children who aren’t fortunate enough to go home after 5 days.”
-ET
★ After her macular degeneration condition grew so severe she can no longer drive or read scripts, Dame Judi Dench says she has no plans for any more acting jobs. The Oscar-winning “Spectre” actress, who is 89, has not appeared on the big screen since 2022’s “Spirited”. When asked if she has any acting work coming up, she told a reporter at London’s Chelsea Flower Show: “No, no, I can’t even see!” Dench is currently promoting her book “Shakespeare: The Man Who Pays the Rent”.
-ContactMusic
★ That Cannes security guard who clashed with Kelly Rowland and Massiel Taveras at the Cannes Film Festival has been revealed to have had another altercation, this time with K-pop star Yoona. In a newly-surfaced video, Yoona was about to pose for her red-carpet photos when the female security guard stopped her. The May 19 clip shows Yoona climbing the steps and turning to wave to fans – when the staffer blocks her with her arm and ushers her away. While Yoona did not scold the guard as Rowland did, she did appear upset as she obliged and walked away.
-NYPost
★ Johnny Wactor had just finished a bartending shift and was walking an unidentified female co-worker to her car when he was shot and killed by thieves, apparently attempting to steal a catalytic converter from his car. The “General Hospital” actor’s brother Grant said that Wactor initially thought his vehicle was being towed, but when he realized what was happening, he shielded the co-worker by putting her behind him, “And that’s when they shot him”, his brother said. Wactor played the character ‘Brando Corbin’ on General Hospital.
-Deadline
★ Demi Moore said that Channing Tatum has not contacted her about the “Ghost” remake he’s working on – but she is interested in what he has planned. Moore, Whoopi Goldberg and the late Patrick Swayze starred in the original Oscar-winning movie almost 35 years ago. And recently, Moore told EW that although she hasn’t heard from Tatum, she feels he is “super talented”, and she’s “curious to see what he decides to do.”
-People

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Ke Huy Quan, Bobby Cannavale, NIKI
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Robert De Niro, Chelsea Handler, Ms. Lauryn Hill, YG Marley (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): John Leguizamo, Laura Coates (R)
• “After Midnight” (CBS/Global): Jourdain Fisher, Arden Myrin, Zach Zimmerman (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Jennifer Connelly, Indigo Girls, Jay Weinberg (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Nicole Brown Simpson’s sisters Denise, Tanya and Dominique Brown, John Grisham
• “The Talk” (CBS): Angela Bassett
• “Live with Kelly and Mark” (ABC/CTV): Ron Howard, Crowded House
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Patti LaBelle
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Elliot Page, Devery Jacobs
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Mindy Kaling
• “Master Chef” (FOX): Season 23 premiere
• “Gordon Ramsay’s Food Stars” (FOX): The Bootcamp Begins. The culinary entrepreneurs are tasked with kickstarting a brand-new business venture from zero to profit in just 24 hours.
• “Stanley Cup Playoffs” (Check local listings): Dallas Stars @ Edmonton Oilers

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Billie Eilish – While her new album “Hit Me Hard and Soft” didn’t debut at #1 on the Billboard Albums Chart, it did earn a sweet consolation prize. It landed at #2, and managed to outsell both of her 2 previous records, even though they both debuted at #1. In a statement, she and Finneas said: “This week has been so surreal and insane, and we truly could not be more overwhelmed with joy.”
• Ariana Grande – has dropped an unsettling teaser vid for ‘The Boy is Mine’, from her latest album “Eternal Sunshine”. In the 10-second clip posted to Instagram, a man plunges his face in a sink, as a grisly hand with opaque claws pries open the door. The full music video is expected June 7. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/3y279k42
• Disturbed — The music video for their cover of ‘The Sound of Silence’ has topped one billion views on YouTube. The clip, which was uploaded to YouTube in December 2015, is the group’s first song to reach the milestone.
• Bruce Springsteen — Following the postponement his Saturday show in Marseilles, France, he and the E Street Band are rescheduling 3 more shows (one in Prague and 2 in Milan) under “doctor’s direction,” as he continues to deal with “vocal issues.” The band’s European tour is set to resume June 12 in Madrid.
• Bon Jovi – Jon Bon Jovi says that the group’s rumored reunion with classic-era guitarist Richie Sambora “isn’t in the cards”. Bon Jovi told Classic Rock magazine that he has spoken to his ex-bandmate just twice in the last 11 years, “and he hasn’t made any great overtures about coming back.”
• Jason Aldean – keeps his backstage rider pretty simple. When asked about it recently, he replied: “I don’t think I have updated that since my first tour, ’05. It was pretty simple. I think back then it was Crown Royal and cigarettes, or something.” He said that because he doesn’t smoke anymore, “Now it’s just Crown.”
• Jelly Roll – Even though he’s been on a health kick lately, getting ready for a half-marathon, he still smokes weed. Quote: “I get in trouble for this, all the time, but my stance on marijuana will always be the same: I believe marijuana has helped me in so many regards, with my anxiety. This is a hot button topic, but, truly, marijuana has kept me sober.”
• Zach Bryan – Fans attending shows on his “Quittin’ Time Tour” are now able to receive a live recording of the show they attended. He tweeted: “Free individual live records for whatever show you come to.” Fans will receive a physical ticket at his tour stops featuring a QR code with details on how they can receive their recording. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/3uur237e

SHOOTING THE BULL

STRESSED TO IMPRESS:
You and every one of your co-workers probably believe this one supposed “truism” about the workplace: If you want to look like you’re valuable to the operation, keep talking about how much work you have on your plate. But now, experts are saying that while boasting about your workload might appear to convey professionalism and dedication to the job, it can actually have the opposite effect. A study published in the journal “Personnel Psychology” says that employees who “stress brag,” or “busy brag,” are more likely to be perceived as less likable — and less competent — by their colleagues. More bad news for busy-braggers: Respondents also felt less inclined to help those who boast about busyness. The study’s head author said that “People are harming themselves by doing this thing they think is going to make them look better to their colleagues.”
(Hey, I don’t CARE what my colleagues think. I just want the BOSS to think I actually do something around here!)
(So what you supposed to do? Brag about how LITTLE work you do around there?)
-NYPost

SCIENTISTS SAY:
❑ Spending too much time on social media could lead to disturbing nightmares. A study published in the journal BMC Psychology, introduced the concept of “social media-related nightmares,” a new type of bad dream that stems from the stresses and anxieties of our online experiences. These nightmares often revolve around themes of helplessness, loss of control, and victimization — in the context of social media interactions. Social media-related nightmares could function as stressors, disrupting your sleep cycle and causing awakenings during the night. (Oh! So, same as my bladder!)
❑ Having a tattoo increases your risk of developing lymphoma, according to a new study from Sweden’s Lund University. The study found that the risk of developing lymphoma, a type of blood cancer, was 21% higher among those who were tattooed. The researchers pointed out: “We already know that when the tattoo ink is injected into the skin, the body interprets this as something foreign…and the immune system is activated (and) a large part of the ink is transported…to the lymph nodes.” They found no evidence of an increased risk with larger sized tattoos.
❑ Hot chocolate – not usually thought of as a healthy treat — could actually help you lose weight, says one expert. Steve Bennett, a health coach, claims that one cup per day could help you shed pounds because it is packed with fiber, and as he put it: “Having more fiber in your diet makes you eat less and keeps you feeling fuller for longer.” The only catch? It must be sugar-free. To be sure, he suggests making your own, using 200ml of warm milk, 2 tablespoons of cocoa powder and 2 teaspoons of zero-calorie sweetener. (OK, this guy isn’t a “scientist”, but I’m willing to go with what he’s saying!)
-People, StudyFinds, NYPost

WHO’S OVERSEEING OVERVIEWS?
Does eating small rocks aid in digestion? Does glue belong on a pizza? Well, yes, according to the new “AI Overview”, now embedded into Google Search. Those obvious errors, along with others, like the suggestion that gasoline pairs well with spaghetti, are among the bizarre declarations that people noticed in Google’s AI Overviews, which are AI-generated summaries of search results. The feature, launched 2 weeks ago, supposedly “does the Googling for you”. But if Overviews represents the “new improved” era of the world’s most popular search engine, we might be tempted to ask it to bring back “Ask Jeeves”. Other false statements provided by Google AI include:
• Barack Obama is Muslim. (He’s a Protestant Christian.)
• No African country starts with the letter ‘K’. (Uh…Kenya, anyone?)
• 13 US Presidents went to the University of Wisconsin-Madison. (None did.)
• And horrifyingly, one person claims the feature told them one way to deal with depression is by “jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge.”
It seems the feature’s shaky start is because it sometimes takes its info from less-than trustworthy sources, and also sometimes takes humor to be true. Google’s actual people claim they are making adjustments in the name of accuracy.
(It sounds as though Google Overviews has been spending too much time reading “The Onion”!)
(Hey, they call it “artificial” intelligence. What did you expect?)
-CNBC, MorningBrew

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 25% of people say the last time they panicked was when their cell phone battery died.
• 20% of adults say they have faked talking on the phone in order to avoid someone.
• 16% of us have missed work because of an acne breakout or blemish.
• 42% of adults wake up in the morning thinking about their job.
• 55% of women admit they have changed the home thermostat when their partner isn’t looking.
• 47% of men have said “I love you” by accident.
• 40% of us eat ice cream when we are angry.

DID YOU KNOW?
You should not hug your dog, according to new research by a team of investigators for the Cork Pet Behaviour Centre, in Ireland. They determined that while humans view the act of hugging as a sign of affection, dogs interpret them as restraint. A study of photographs of people hugging their dogs found that 82% showed at least one sign of stress. Why? In times of stress or threat, a dog’s first line of defense is not his teeth, but to run away. Behaviorists believe that depriving a dog of that course of action by immobilizing him with a hug can increase his stress level, and if the dog’s anxiety becomes significantly intense, he may even be driven to bite.
-PsychologyToday

BS CHRONOMETER 05.29.24

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “International Day of United Nations Peacekeepers”, observed on the anniversary of the first deployment of UN Peacekeeping Forces, in 1948 in the Middle East.
• “Learn About Composting Day”, a great excuse to go green and help the environment. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/mpbnp2z7
• “Paper Clip Day”, yes, even the paperclip has its own day. (Really, a paper clip is just a stapler for people with commitment issues…)
• “Coq Au Vin Day”. Coq au vin (which translates to “rooster with wine”) is French braise of chicken, cooked with wine, lardons (salt pork), mushrooms and garlic.
• “Biscuit Day”. American biscuits are small crusty bread rolls, often served at breakfast or as a side dish. But in the UK, the word “biscuit” is used for flat sweet treats which are known as “cookies” elsewhere. (Do they also have a “Biscuit Monster”?)
• “Senior Health and Fitness Day”, promoting the value of fitness and exercise for mature adults. ‘Seniors Games’ are scheduled in some cities, and more than 100,000 seniors are expected to participate this year. LINK: https://www.fitnessday.com/
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] Water a Flower Day
[Thurs] Creativity Day
[Fri] Save Your Hearing Day
[Sat] Dare Day
This Month is…Loaded Potato Month
This Month Is…Read to Your Baby Bump Month

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1953 [71] Danny Elfman, Los Angeles CA, film composer (“The Nightmare Before Christmas”, “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”, “Spider-Man”)/pop singer-songwriter (Oingo Boingo ‘Dead Man’s Party’)

1958 [66] Annette Bening, Topeka KS, movie actress (“The Kids Are All Right”, “American Beauty”), 4 Oscars/married to Warren Beatty since 1992. COMING UP… “The Bride”, 2025

1956 [68] La Toya Jackson, Gary IN, R&B singer (‘Just Say No’, ‘Hot Potato’)/sister of Michael Jackson

1961 [63] Melissa Etheridge, Leavenworth KS, rock singer (‘I’m the Only One’, ‘Come to My Window’)

1967 [57] Noel Gallagher, Manchester England, rock guitarist-songwriter (Oasis -‘Wonderwall’, ‘Champagne Supernova’)

1975 [49] Melanie B (Brown) (“Scary Spice”), Leeds England, pop singer (Spice Girls-‘Wannabe’)/TV personality (“America’s Got Talent” 2013-18, “The X Factor UK” 2012-16)

1975 [49] Daniel Tosh, Boppard Germany, comedian-TV host (“Tosh.0” 2009-20, “Brickleberry” 2012-15)

1972 [52] Laverne Cox, Mobile AL, TV actress (“Orange Is the New Black” 2013-19)/in 2014, became the first transgender person in over 20 years to be nominated for an Emmy

1987 [37] Noah Reid, Toronto ON, TV actor (“Schitt’s Creek” 2017-2020, “Outer Range” since 2022)

1989 [35] Riley Keough, Los Angeles CA, movie actress (“Mad Max: Fury Road”, The Runaways”/TV actress (“Daisy Jones & The Six”)/granddaughter of Elvis Presley, sole owner of Graceland

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2003 [21] Legendary entertainer Bob Hope celebrates his 100th birthday (he dies just a few months later)

2010 [14] Dennis Hopper (“Blue Velvet”, “Easy Rider”, “True Grit”) dies of prostate cancer at age 74

2018 [06] ABC cancels “Roseanne” after star Roseanne Barr posts a racist tweet

THIS DAY IN MUSIC:
1983 [41] Van Halen is paid a record $1.5 million to play Day 2 (“Heavy Metal Day”) of Apple founder Steve Wozniak’s ‘US Festival’. At the time, it’s the most any act has ever been paid for a single performance (David Bowie was paid the same for his show the next day)

2010 [14] Shania Twain divorces music producer Robert “Mutt” Lange after 14 years of marriage

2022 [02] Rockabilly legend Ronnie Hawkins dies at age 87

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1953 [71] Edmund Hillary and sherpa Tenzing Norgay become the first climbers to reach the summit of Mount Everest

2005 [19] 23-year-old Danica Patrick becomes the first female driver to take the lead in the fabled Indianapolis 500 (eventually finishes 4th)

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ When you correct for weight difference, men are proportionately stronger than horses.
✓ Martha Stewart became a billionaire while in prison.
✓ Albert Einstein never wore socks.
✓ Soy sauce has 10 times more antioxidants than red wine.
✓ There are more bacteria in a human mouth than there are people in the world.
✓ Most people spend 60% of their conversation time talking about themselves. That jumps to 80% while conversing on social media.
-FactRetriever, BuzzFeed

Best of BS . . .
BS HOW MEN SAY THEY’RE SORRY:
• “Look, I’m sorry you misunderstood but….”
• “Hey babe, you still mad? You wanna do it?”
• “I’m sorry for whatever it was that I did or didn’t do wrong.”
• “Wow, you’re looking gorgeous today, is that a new dress? It really suits you.”
• By ignoring the whole thing and hoping it goes away.
• By throwing chocolate, then hiding behind the couch.
• By forgetting the flowers and going right to where you bring home some wine.
• Guys do that?
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2018

BS REJECTED GAME SHOW TITLES:
[***CAUTION – Preview for content***]
✗ “Wheel of Fortune Cookies”
✗ “Family Crude”
✗ “The Bong Show”
✗ “Whose Pants Are These, Anyway?”
✗ “The Price is Shite”
✗ “Leper-dy!”
✗ “Wheel of Foreplay”
✗ “Biggest Loser Brother”
✗ “Who Wants to Be a Prison Bitch?”
✗ “Let’s Bake a Veal!”
-First published in BS in 2017

BS WEB GOODIE:
Everyone loves a baby:  https://tinyurl.com/5n7ftjs6

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I’d just like to be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have ideas…

TRUTH OR BS (Urban Myths Edition):
• Watching TV up close is bad for your eyesight. [BS]
• You can boost your brainpower by eating fish. [True]
• You swallow 8 spiders in your sleep over the course of your life. [BS]
• You’ll catch a cold if you go outside with wet hair on a cold day. [BS]
• Cows napping is a sign that rain is on the way. [BS]
• Red sky at night, sailor’s delight. Red sky in the morning, sailor’s warning. [True]
• Eating cheese before bed gives you nightmares. [True]
• Carrots help you see in the dark. [BS]
-BBC

BS PHONE STARTER:
What service do you refuse to pay for? (Airport food? Air for your tires? Tipping for takeaway food? Extended warranties?)

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  If money were no object, 15% of us say we would want to go HERE for vacation. Where?
Answer:  Space

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Life is a series of tiny miracles. Notice them.