Wednesday, November 24, 2004                 Edition: #2916
When You Can’t Dazzle Them with Brilliance, Baffle Them with Bull!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY “The Genius of Ray Charles”, a new exhibit highlighting the music pioneer’s legacy, opens at the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland (he was inducted back in 1986) . . . TONIGHT the Trailer Park Boys host the annual “CASBY Awards” (‘Canadian Artists Selected By You’) at Kool Haus in Toronto (the long-running fan-chosen awards are put on by 102.1 The Edge) . . . TONIGHT the “American Idol” winners from the first 3 seasons, Kelly Clarkson, Ruben Studdard & Fantasia Barrino, perform in the “Home for Christmas” holiday special on FOX-TV . . . “Sopranos” stars James Gandolfini (‘Tony Soprano’) & Tony Sirico (‘Paulie Gualtieri’) are participating in a USO tour in the Persian Gulf, where they’re signing autographs and posing for pics with troops . . . The 55-acre former Hudson Valley estate of financially-troubled “Penthouse” magazine founder Bob Guccione has been sold to wealthy hotelier Andre Balazs and his girlfriend – actress Uma Thurman . . . HBO has picked up 13 episodes of “Comeback”, a half-hour comedy featuring former “Friends” star Lisa Kudrow – as a washed-up sitcom actress looking to revive her career . . . Long-time Howard Stern sidekick Robin Quivers has landed a deal to develop a 1-hour daytime TV talk show . . . Ozzy Osbourne has now offered a £100,000 ($185,000) reward for information leading to the recovery of wife’s Sharon’s stolen jewelry . . . P Diddy just found out $7.2-million-worth of jewelry that was stolen from his NYC office earlier this year was not insured – because his broker failed to list the items on his insurance policy (make that – his FORMER broker) . . . And “Billboard” magazine’s new listing of the ‘Top 20 Best-Selling Tones’ is currently topped by “My Boo”.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Avril Lavigne – She tells “Us Weekly” she’s now vegan 99% of the time … except when she gets ‘In-N-Out Burger’ cravings.
• Britney Spears – “In Touch” magazine reports she’s already chosen the name ‘Aurora’ for her baby if she becomes pregnant with hubby Kevin Federline. She apparently likes the name because it sounds mystical, but strong. (For a guy?)
• Destiny’s Child – They’ll help raise awareness for the Salvation Army’s annual fundraising drive during their half-time performance at the Dallas Cowboys’ Thanksgiving Day home game vs Chicago Bears.
• Gwen Stefani – TODAY she appears on both the syndicated “Ellen DeGeneres Show” and ABC-TV’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live”.
• Tim McGraw – TONIGHT his 2nd concert special, “Tim McGraw: Here & Now”, airs on NBC-TV, featuring duets with wife Faith Hill and rapper Nelly.
• Trace Adkins – He’ll perform the national anthem prior to the Detroit Lions’ Thanksgiving Day home game vs the Indianapolis Colts.
• U2 – They say they really shouldn’t be among the 16 nominees up for induction into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame because they’re too young and others deserve to be honored before them. A maximum of 7 inductees will be announced in DECEMBER.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Alexander” (R-Rated Period Drama): Colin Farrell & Angelina Jolie star in Oliver Stone’s adaptation of the legend of Macedonian conqueror Alexander the Great who, by the age of 32, had assembled one of the ancient world’s greatest empires. Critics are already panning the film, saying the story is incohesive and the acting uninspired. Rosario Dawson’s nude scene is being singled out by some as the best thing about this big budget flick which cost an estimated $150 million to make. Colin Farrell reveals that he shaved his legs and wore no underwear under his skirt. “It’s very liberating down there,” he says. “Breezy.” Many Greeks are outraged by the portrayal of Alexander as bisexual, and a group of Greek lawyers is actually threatening to sue.
• “Finding Neverland” (PG Drama): Johnny Depp stars as author JM Barrie, who drew upon his experiences with 4 fatherless children to create the story of “Peter Pan”. Co-stars Kate Winslet and Dustin Hoffman, who lost the tip of a finger during filming and performed one day of shooting while on morphine.
• “Christmas With the Kranks” (PG Comedy): Tim Allen portrays ‘Luther Krank’ who, fed up with the commercialism of Christmas, decides to skip the holiday and go on a vacation with his wife (Jamie Lee Curtis) instead. But when their daughter decides to come home for the holidays at the last minute, they must hurriedly put together a celebration.

BS TURKEY FACTS:
• Male turkeys gobble. Hens do not. They make a clicking noise.
• A 15-lb turkey usually has about 70% white meat and 30% dark meat.
• Commercially raised turkeys are too heavy to fly. In fact, turkey breeding has caused turkey breasts to grow so large that turkeys sometimes fall over.
• Turkeys have been bred to have white feathers because they leave no spots under the skin when plucked.
• Israelis eat the most turkeys … 28 lbs per person annually.
• A 16-week-old turkey is called a ‘fryer’. A 5- to 7-month-old turkey is called a ‘young roaster’ and a year-old bird is a ‘yearling. Any turkey 15 months or older is called ‘mature’.
• Eating turkey doesn’t cause you to feel sleepy after Thanksgiving dinner. It’s likely the carbohydrates (potatoes, buns, stuffing, etc) that are the cause.
• The 5 most popular ways to serve leftover turkey are – sandwich, stew or soup, salad, casserole, and stir-fry.
– University of Illinois study.

HOW TO WASH YOUR HAIR:
When it comes to shampooing, most of us don’t do it right according to hairstylist Frédéric Fekkai. Her expert tips include …
• Saturate your hair with water before putting in any shampoo. If hair isn’t completely wet to the roots, the shampoo won’t flow through, and hair might look dull or even flaky because of residues.
• Don’t apply all the shampoo to the top of your head. Apply a small amount at the forehead, crown, temples and the nape of the neck.
• When rinsing, begin with warm water and then switch to the coldest water you can bear. The colder the water, the shinier the hair.
• Most people look best if they wash their hair every day.
– “The Experts’ Guide to 100 Things Everyone Should Know How to Do”

SLEEP YOURSELF SKINNY:
If you thought that lying in the bed too long makes you fat, think again! New research reveals that a good amount of sound sleep actually prevents weight gain. The study by NYC’s Columbia University finds that people who sleep for 4 hours or less per night are 73% more likely to be obese, possibly because of effects on their appetite hormones. The study also finds that, even after other factors such as depression, physical activity, alcohol consumption, ethnicity, level of education, age and gender are taken into account, people who sleep less are still more likely to be heavy. (Yeah, after I get out of here today I’m going to bed with a large, double cheese pizza. Just trying to stay fit.)
– ANI

ODB ON TV:
Spike TV wrapped production on a bizarre reality show featuring Ol’ Dirty Bastard weeks before he died of a heart attack NOVEMBER 13th. Now it seems the show will go on, thanks to the approval (or perhaps greed) of his estate. In “Stuck on Dirty”, which will air early NEXT YEAR, a contestant will attempt to stay within 10 feet of ODB for 5 consecutive days. He is electronically tethered by a mechanism that beeps if he strays beyond that distance. Each time the alarm sounds, the contestant loses $5,000 of the $25,000 jackpot. (Hmm, smells like a radio contest.)
– “Daily News”

RECOVERING FROM JET LAG:
The sleepless nights and sleepy afternoons that follow long-haul flights take longer to get over than you might think. Sleep expert Dr Naomi Rogers of Australia’s Woolcock Institute of Medical Research says jet lag can have a big impact on reaction time and alertness, so it may be better to take a cab at the airport and pick up your rental car the following day. She also recommends you allow a full day to recover from jet lag for each time zone crossed; that you begin your daily routine in the new time zone as quickly as possible; and that you avoid alcohol and caffeine during the flight. Fortunately, once the body actually adjusts to the new time zone, there don’t seem to be any lasting effects. (If anyone knows anything about jet lag, it would be an Aussie. They’re about 12 hours from … anywhere.)
– AAP

WHY BRITS BINGE ON BOOZE:
Boozing is the most popular way to get over depression as far as people in the UK are concerned. A new survey reveals almost 12 million Brits go binge drinking to overcome depression, fear of loneliness and to cheer themselves up. The poll also finds that 21% admit they drink to shed inhibitions before making love. (Drink until they look good, quit before you marry ‘em.)
– “Sun” tabloid.

COLDEST PEOPLE IN HOLLYWOOD:
Highlights of a new listing of the ‘Frigid 50′, the least intriguing people in show biz …
1. “Fahrenheit 9/11″ filmmaker Michael Moore
2. Halle Berry
3. Disney honcho Michael Eisner
4. Movie director M Night Shyamalan
5. Acting team of Ben Stiller & Owen Wilson
6. Nicole Kidman
7. Reese Witherspoon
8. Jimmy Fallon
9. Paris Hilton
10. Ben Affleck
– “Film Threat” magazine.
NET: http://www.filmthreat.com

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• Microsoft founder Bill Gates has revealed that he receives a staggering 4 million e-mails PER DAY – almost all of it spam. If he worked by himself without breaks, it would take him 22 weeks to get rid of a single-day’s-worth.
– “NY Post”
• People who are susceptible to gout should avoid turkey, ham, and alcohol.
– “Adelaide Advertiser”

AND WE QUOTE:
“George Clooney and I have started a class as former ‘Sexiest Men Alive’. We’re working with the young ‘uns.” – Actor Brad Pitt, who claims he’s secretly coaching Matt Damon, who lost out to Jude Law in topping this year’s “People” magazine list.

THE BULL SHEET 11.24.2K4

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1940 [64] Paul Tagliabue, Jersey City NJ, attorney who has served as NFL commissioner since 1989 (initiated salary cap, expansion teams)

1970 [34] Chad Taylor, York PA, rock guitarist (Live-“Lightning Crashes”, “Selling The Drama”)

1977 [27] Colin Hanks, Sacramento CA, Tom Hanks’ son/movie actor (“Orange County”)/former TV actor (“Band of Brothers”, “Roswell”)  UP NEXT: Has a role in the Peter Jackson remake of “King Kong”.

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TOMORROW the 78th annual “Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade” in NYC will feature the Barenaked Ladies, Andrea Bocelli, Julie Roberts, Ryan Cabrera, Gavin DeGraw & Fantasia Barrino. ‘Spongebob Squarepants’, ‘Chicken Little’, and the red & yellow M&Ms are the new giant balloons scheduled to join the other famous balloons this year (Macy’s is the world’s 2nd-largest consumer of helium … after the US government). Being retired this year – ‘Jimmy Neutron’, ‘Cheesasaurus Rex’ and ‘Wild Thing’. The parade is on NBC-TV 9 am-noon.
NET: http://www.nyctourist.com/macys_news_lineup.htm

THIS WEEK is the 10th annual “National Game & Puzzle Week”. Game company Patch Products offers interviews with experts who’ll relate the history of popular games. Ask listeners for the best board game they’ve discovered that other people don’t know about.
PHONER: 800.524.4263/608.362.6896 (Jeff Softley, Patch Promotions)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1991 [13] The charismatic lead singer of the rock group Queen, Freddie Mercury, dies in his sleep at age 45, just one day after publicly announcing he was suffering from AIDS

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1998 [06] Cher’s career is revived as mega-hit single “Believe” is released

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1874 [130] 1st ‘barbed wire’ patented by Joseph Glidden of DeKalb IL (collecting various kinds of barbed wire is now a serious hobby for many)

1954 [50] 1st US presidential plane is christened “Air Force One”

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] US Thanksgiving Day
[Thurs] International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women
[Fri] Beaver Moon (Full Moon in November)
[Fri] 2004 Aboriginal Music Awards (Toronto)
[Sat] 2004 Vanier Cup (Hamilton)
[Mon] Electronic Greetings Day
[Tues] “Spider-Man 2″ released on DVD
This Week Is . . . Cookie Week
This Month Is . . . Family Stories Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS REJECTED INTERNATIONAL SPORTS TEAM NAMES:
• Brussels Sprouts
• Cannes Openers
• Vienna Sausages
• Belgium Waffles
• Prague Tologists
• Manila Folders
• Syria Killers
• Czech Bouncers
• Taipei Personalities
• Peking Toms

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• What form of precipitation generally falls only from cumulonimbus clouds?
a. Hail
b. Snow
c. Locusts
[Hail. Cumulonimbus clouds are those heavy, swelling, vertically developed clouds.]

• What’s the only food that is naturally blue?
a. Blueberries
b. Cheese
c. There ain’t one.
[According to “Land O’ Useless Facts”, there is no such thing as naturally blue food, as even blueberries are actually purple.]

• What creature produces sperm that’s 2/3 of an inch long, the longest in the world?
a. Sperm whale
b. Fruit fly
c. Rock star
[Fruit flies of the genus ‘drosophila’. Their sperm is 300 times longer than human sperm and 6 times longer than the fly itself – but hair-thin and all balled up.]

THE BS THANKSGIVING DAY FORECAST:
We first ran this 5 years ago. It’s still a good bit …
Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an afternoon high near 325. The kitchen will turn hot and humid, and if you bother the cook, be ready for a severe squall or cold shoulder. During the late afternoon and evening, the cold front of a knife will slice through the turkey, causing an accumulation of 1 to 2 inches on plates. Mashed potatoes will drift across one side while cranberry sauce creates slippery spots on the other. A weight watch and indigestion warning have been issued for the entire area. During the evening, the turkey will diminish and taper off to leftovers.

BS HOLIDAY Q & A:
Q: Whose vital statistics are a shapely 34-24-36 … feet, that is?
A: The 72-foot-high Betty Boop balloon in the “Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade”.

Q: What can fly short distances at 55 mph and run on the ground at nearly 30 mph?
A: Wild turkeys.

Q: Which children’s book character was first named ‘Reginald’, then ‘Rollo’ before a final name was chosen?
A: ‘Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer’.

BS WEB GOODIE:
Kids’ author Dav Pilkey has come up with “Twas the night before Thanksgiving”, a humorous twist on the Christmas poem.
NET: http://www.egreeley.com/messages/165.html

BS BLATANT JOKES:
• Hey, I invented the ultimate device for people who like peace and quiet … the phoneless cord.
• [Co-host] doesn’t suffer from stress … she’s a carrier.
• Gimme another doughnut. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
• Y’know, I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
• On Thanksgiving Day all over America, families sit down to dinner at the same moment … half-time.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: A University of Florida study finds the secret to a long and happy marriage is as simple as doing THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Lowering expectations.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.