Monday, November 22, 2004        Edition: #2914
BS – The Most Touchdowns in Show Prep!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
• 72-year-old Hollywood legend Elizabeth Taylor has revealed she’s suffering from congestive heart failure and a bone disease which leaves her in constant pain, but claims she is not afraid to die. Quote: “People must think, ‘My God, she’s still alive?’” (So … who’s got Liz in the dead pool?)
– “W” magazine.
• Word has it movie actor and self-proclaimed troublemaker Owen Wilson (“Starsky & Hutch”) recently did some time in a ‘celebrity relaxation center’ to help curb his ‘partying’. The rumor coming out of his hometown of Dallas suggests it may have to do with his affinity for ‘horse’ – but not the kind Texans are most commonly associated with. (Interesting that his next film project is “The Smoker”.)
– PopBitch.com
• 48-year-old former “Sex & the City” star Kim Cattrall has moved her toy-boy to NYC. The actress has been dating Toronto chef Alan Wyse since the summer and he’s said to be a dead ringer for actor Jason Lewis, who played ‘Samantha Jones’ lover ‘Smith Jerrod’ on the show. (Alright Alan, your 15 minutes begin … now.)
– UK’s “Sun” tabloid.
• Actor Sean Connery has secretly bought the ultimate souvenir from his days playing ‘James Bond’ – the moon buggy he rode in the 1971 movie “Diamonds Are Forever”. It was due to be sold DECEMBER 14th by Christie’s auction house for an estimated $56,000 but he’s persuaded the buggy’s owner, “007 Magazine” editor Graham Rye, to sell it privately for $54,000. (Connery is said to also be interested in acquiring another antiquity from the film … actress Jill St John.)
– World Entertainment News Network
• Actors Nathan Lane & Matthew Broderick are set to finally begin filming the movie version of their Broadway mega-hit “The Producers” in FEBRUARY. After that, they’re taking on another new project together, a  limited-run Broadway revival of Neil Simon’s “The Odd Couple”, set to debut NEXT AUGUST. (So who do you figure is the fussy one and who’s the slob?)
– “National Enquirer”
• Pseudo-actress Carmen Electra is working closely with Ashton Kutcher these days but it’s not setting someone up to be “Punk’d”. Kutcher has picked Carmen to star in an as-yet-untitled sitcom he’s producing for FOX-TV. The show is about a new wife trying to adjust to life with an incredibly weird husband. (You’re right, she can’t act worth crap but she’s still perfect for the role … she once wed Dennis Rodman for about 20 minutes.)
– “Star” magazine.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Green Day – TONIGHT they do ABC-TV’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live”.
• Jessica Simpson – She’s had a falling out with actors Johnny Knoxville & Seann William Scott on the set of the new “Dukes of Hazzard” movie. Seems she’s tired of their constant teasing about the size of her butt compared to the original ‘Daisy Duke’. Word is she totally lost it at one point and screamed that the taunting twosome should grow up.
• Mariah Carey – She’s instructed fans that they may now address her as ‘Mimi’, the nickname formerly used only by those closest to her. We may now all use it because she feels ‘ready to let her guard down’. (As we know, that’s what she’s all about … Me! Me!)
• Shania Twain – Her “Greatest Hits” CD sold over 530,000 copies in its first week of release.
• Sting – His 22-year-old daughter Katie is the latest rocker daughter to take up modeling, prancing down the runway in London LAST WEEK for designer Chester Bonham. She joins the likes of Mick Jagger’s Lizzie, Keith Richards’ Alexandra & Theodora, Rod Stewart’s Kimberly, and Ron Woods’ Leah who have only their last name to thank for a career on the catwalk.
• Tim McGraw – TONIGHT he’s on “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” on NBC-TV.
• Trace Adkins – His hit “Rough & Ready” was featured on LAST NIGHT’s episode of ABC-TV’s “Desperate Housewives”.
• Usher – He & model Naomi Campbell took their relationship public for the first time at the “MTV Europe Awards” in Rome where he picked up trophies for ‘Best Male’ & ‘Best Album’. They arrived arm-in-arm on the red carpet after reportedly spending days shacked up in an $1,800-a-night hotel suite. (Wow, now he gots fashion boo.)

CALENDAR GUY:
“The Canadian Weather Trivia Calendar 2005″ is out, the 17th annual by Environment Canada’s Senior Climatologist David Phillips who claims, “My calendar sells more in Canada than the ‘Playboy’ calendar; only in Canada do we like weather more than sex.” Some highlights …
• Frostbite is a cold injury that occurs almost exclusively in humans and domestic animals. Moose, wolf and polar bear are not susceptible to frostbite even while walking on snow or ice
at -70 C.
• When a cow tries to scratch its ear, it means a shower is very near. When it thumps its ribs with its tail, look out for thunder and hail!
• From a height of 3 km, it takes 30 minutes for a snowflake to reach the ground on its own.

THERE’S STILL HOPE FOR GOOD MUSIC:
We mentioned last week how those who own Ashlee Simpson CDs can trade them in for ‘real music’ (Ramones, Aretha Franklin, Ray Charles, Elvis Costello, etc) thanks to an advocacy group called HOPE (Horrified Observers of Pedestrian Entertainment). Well, it seems due to ‘overwhelming response’ the exchange will continue indefinitely and be expanded to include other artists who are detrimental to the public good, including Britney Spears, Jennifer Lopez, Nick Lachey, Jessica Simpson, Creed, Paris Hilton, Limp Bizkit and – ANY boy band.
NET: http://hopeinamerica.com

SHRIMP HEARTS ARE HEALTHY:
New research shows tall people may be more likely to suffer from the most common form of irregular heartbeat, known as ‘atrial fibrillation’. The study shows the tallest people (over 5′-11″ for men and 5′-5″ for women) have a 60% higher risk than the shortest (under 5′-7″ for men and 5′-1″ for women). The condition is usually not life threatening, but if untreated can increase the risk of stroke and heart attack. (What’s really sad is this means Danny DeVito’s gonna live forever.)
– WebMD Health

DOGGY DENTAL CARE:
By the age of 3 years, 80% of dogs and 70% of cats suffer dental diseases such as gingivitis, according to the British Dental Veterinary Association. It recommends that owners brush their pets’ teeth using a toothpaste formulated for animals (human toothpastes have a high fluoride content which can be toxic to pets). Owners should start by brushing just 1 tooth a day, then progress to a couple at a time, then one side of the mouth, and eventually the entire mouth. (Okay, kids. Let’s draw straws to see who gets to brush the Rottweiler’s teeth.)
– “Globe & Mail”

IT’S RAINING TOADS:
FRIDAY hundreds of thousands of poisonous baby cane toads invaded Australia’s Arakwal National Park, hopping around in such numbers that ecologists say the ground seemed to move. The park is adjacent to Byron Bay, one of the country’s famous surfing meccas, where thanks to recent rains, toad populations have exploded. (SFX: BOOM!).
– “NY Post”

FOR THE RECORD:
42-year-old Louisville KY mechanic Mark Roehrig wants to become the first to sail around-the-world … in a school bus. He recently converted a 1985 bus into an amphibious vehicle by making it waterproof and installing 6 empty 200-gallon water tanks on its bottom. He tested the creation which he calls “The Wheelsea” by floating it in the river for 20 minutes LAST WEEK.
– “Courier-Journal”

BS AMAZING FACT:
The shortest complete sentence in the English language at just 2 letters is … “Go.”

AND WE QUOTE:
“I’m known as this retard … I want to grow up. I don’t want to be the drunk girl.”
– Tara Reid, proving what she’s known for.

THE BULL SHEET 11.22.2K4

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1958 [46] Jamie Lee Curtis, LA CA, movie actress (“Freaky Friday”, “True Lies”)  UP NEXT: Co-stars with Tim Allen in the comedy “Christmas With the Kranks”, opening WEDNESDAY.

1961 [43] Mariel Hemingway, Mill Valley CA, movie actress (“First Daughter”, “Manhattan”)/granddaughter of writer Ernest Hemingway

1984 [20] Scarlett Johannson, NYC, movie actress (“The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie”, “Lost in Translation”)  NEXT UP: She’s signed for no less than 5 upcoming film projects, including “Mission: Impossible 3”.

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TODAY is “Start Your Own Country Day”, a good excuse to ask listeners what 3 things would be different if they ran their own nation. (Let’s see – no taxes, um, no taxes, and no taxes.)

TODAY is “National Stop The Violence Day”, observed annually on the anniversary of the assassination of US President John F Kennedy (1963).

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1995 [09] Disney/Pixar’s “Toy Story” opens, the first completely ‘computer-animated movie’

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1934 [70] 1st performance of holiday classic “Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town” (Eddie Cantor)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1917 [87] ‘National Hockey League’ 1st organized by Board of Governors meeting at Montréal’s Windsor Hotel (Montréal Canadiens, Montréal Wanderers, Toronto Arenas, and Ottawa Senators begin play December 19, 1917, then Wanderers drop out after Westmount Arena burns down)

1981 [23] 1st team to win 4 consecutive Grey Cups (Edmonton Eskimos, who go on to win a 5th in 1982)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1950 [52] Lowest-ever NBA score (Ft Wayne Pistons 19, Minneapolis Lakers 18)

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] “Harry Potter & the Prisoner of Azkaban” released on DVD
[Wed] “Alexander” and “Christmas With the Kranks” open in movie theaters
[Thurs] US Thanksgiving Day
[Thurs] International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women
[Fri] Buy Nothing Day
[Fri] Sinkie Day
[Sat] Pins & Needles Day
[Fri] Buy Nothing Day
[Fri] 2004 Aboriginal Music Awards (Toronto)
[Sat] 2004 Vanier Cup (Hamilton)

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Adoption Week
Family Week
Game & Puzzle Week
Better Conversation Week

BULL’S BITS . . .
THIS WEEK’S WACKED TABLOID HEADLINES:
• “Hairy Space Alien Lives on Donald Trump’s Head!”
• “It’s Official – Eatin’ Fish Makes You Stoopid!”
• “African Tribe Worships Salma Hayek’s Breasts!”
• “Blues Singer Sues Shrink for Making Him Feel Better!”
• “Tough Algebra Problem Causes Student’s Head to Explode!”
• “Russian Space Dog Buried Bones on Mars!”

BS ‘FIND THE FAKES’:
Some of the following are among the ‘Hot Dozen’ toys for Christmas 2004 as predicted by “Toy Wishes” magazine; the others are complete fakes. You run down the list rapid-fire while a phone contestant or studio guest tries to decide which are which …
• ‘Bella Dancerella’ [REAL]
• ‘Marilyn Manson Make-Up Vanity’ [FAKE]
• ‘Ms Pac-Man’ [REAL]
• ‘Booger Babies’ [FAKE]
• ‘Roof Ranger Paratrooper Outfit’ [FAKE]
• ‘Bratz Tokyo-A-Go-Go Dance N’ Skate Club’ [REAL]
• ‘My First Ferret Farm’ [FAKE]
• ‘Balloon Lagoon’ [REAL]
• ‘CSI Barbie’ [FAKE]
• ‘Nitro Battlerz’ [REAL]

2004’s TOP-SELLING NFL JERSEYS:
1. Michael Vick, Atlanta Falcons
2. Terrell Owens, Philadelphia Eagles
3. Brett Favre, Green Bay Packers
4. Brian Urlacher, Chicago Bears
5. Eli Manning, NY Giants
– “Sports Illustrated”

BS TURKEY TIME JOKES:
• You know your family is dysfunctional if Thanksgiving Dinner consists of Wild Turkey
• Why did pilgrims’ pants always fall down? Because they wore their belt buckles on their hats.

ALL-TIME BEST MOVIE KISSES:
1. Clark Gable & Vivien Leigh in “Gone With the Wind”.
2. Omar Sharif & Julie Christie in “Doctor Zhivago”.
3. Humphrey Bogart & Ingrid Bergman in “Casablanca”.
4. Humphrey Bogart & Audrey Hepburn in “Sabrina”.
5. Rock Hudson & Doris Day in “Pillow Talk”.
– “Us Weekly”

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Sunrise Hospital in Las Vegas was the very first hospital where you could get THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Valet parking.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Eat well, stay fit … die anyway.

ON OUR SHEET LIST:
Kudos to Aaron Rand @ CFRQ [Q92] Montréal QC, Barry MacKinnon @ CJFX Antigonish NS who’ve both signed up for another full year of Bull! And a big moo-out to this week’s samplers that include Shereen @ CKYL [YL Country] Peace River AB; Tyler Stevens @ WXTM [92.3Xtreme] Cleveland OH; Dean Snow @ KGVA 88.1 Harlem MT; and Sharon Martin @ WAAL [The Whale] Binghamton NY. Remember BSers, we bonus you ONE FREE MONTH of service for each and every new subscriber you refer.