Monday, November 10, 2008        Edition: #3897
Here’s More Bull Roar!

WEEKEND BLOG BS:
• Reports say TV queen Oprah will be joining forces with Discovery Communications to form the Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN) which promises a new potpourri of fuzzy, cuddly, safe for everyone programming. Discovery CEO David Zaslav says the expectation is her show will go into syndication after the 2010-11 season and she will then come to OWN. (How aptly named.)
– TMZ.com
• British movie actress Sienna Miller (“Stardust”) has confirmed her split from oil heir-TV actor Balthazar Getty (“Brothers & Sisters”). She’d been romantically linked to the married Getty since this summer when they were spotted together in Prague on the set of her new movie “GI Joe”. She says the split is the fault of the media for making relationships in the spotlight too difficult. (Honey, if you didn’t sleep around so much … you wouldn’t be IN the spotlight.)
– UsMagazine.com
• 82-year-old Hugh Hefner has announced 23-year-old Kendra Wilkinson from “Girls Next Door” (E!) is engaged to Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Hank Baskett. The model-actress has lived with Hef’ since 2004. A special wedding ceremony will be held at the Playboy Mansion in JUNE. Poor old Hef’s love life has been in flux. Last month, he and #1 girlfriend Holly Madison called it quits. Twin 19-year-olds, Karissa & Kristina Shannon, are currently living in the mansion.
– Starpulse Entertainment News Blog
• Speaking of creepy … 57-year-old actor/comedian Robin Williams, who’s currently in the midst of divorcing his wife of 18 years, is said to be dating the BFF of designer Tommy Hilfiger’s daughter Ally. The unnamed pal is 27 … 30 years younger. (Can you say mid-life crisis?)
– “Extra”
• HBO has bought the rights to a behind-the-scenes documentary on Barack Obama’s presidential campaign from actor Edward Norton’s production company. Filming will continue through the US president-elect’s inauguration with the premiere expected sometime NEXT SPRING. HBO reportedly paid more than $1 million for the as-yet-untitled film.
– HollywoodReporter.com
• THIS WEEK 69-year-old media mogul Ted Turner publishes his memoir entitled “Call Me Ted”. The 433-page tome, co-authored with former Turner Broadcasting exec Bill Burke, reviews his years as yachtsman, baseball team owner, cable visionary, and philanthropist. He also reveals it wasn’t religion that broke up his marriage to 70-year-old actress Jane Fonda but the fact she didn’t talk to him about becoming ‘Born Again’. The always talkative Turner also suggests that his epitaph might read: “I Have Nothing More to Say.” (Many would be thankful about that.)
– AP
• And Will Smith tops a new poll on the ‘Actors Who Raise Our Spirits During Hard Times’. Runners-up include Tom Hanks, Reese Witherspoon, George Clooney, Julia Roberts, and Johnny Depp. (Shirley Temple still did it best.)
– “The Sun”

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• George Carlin – He’s posthumously presented the 11th annual ‘Mark Twain Prize for American Humor’ at the Kennedy Center For the Performing Arts in Washington DC. The legendary comedian died in JUNE at age 71. The ceremony will later be televised on PBS.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/55lowc
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Panic At The Disco guests.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – 18-year-old country star Taylor Swift performs and no doubt again refutes the rumor she is pregnant. On her personal blog she says that’s the most ‘impossible thing on the planet’. (Is that a promise bracelet she’s wearing?)
• Les Paul – THIS WEEK the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland OH pays tribute to the ‘Father of the Electric Guitar’. It’s capped off with a tribute concert scheduled for SATURDAY. Paul, now 93, is hoping to attend.
• Shia LaBeouf – The Ford truck he flipped in that horrific summer wreck goes up for auction on eBay with the bidding starting at $7,000. The guy who scooped it at an insurance auction says he wasn’t even aware it was Shia’s when he bought it but now he’s looking to use its infamous past to make a profit. (Hottie actress passenger not included.)
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Brit singer Dido in onstage.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Beyoncé –  She’s met with reps of DC Comics and Warner Bros to express interest in starring as superhero “Wonder Woman” in a planned bigscreen adaptation. (Maybe she should check out what happened to movie versions of “Catwoman” and “Elektra” first?)
• Kanye West – He reportedly relieved himself on the floor of his dressing room at a pre-party for the “MTV Europe Music Awards” in Liverpool UK. Brit act, the Tings Tings, who were forced to share the quarters, were not impressed. (Hey, it could have been Puddle of Mudd.)
• Mariah Carey – The 39-year-old diva claims she made 28-year-old husband Nick Cannon wait until they were married to do the horizontal mambo … so it would be ‘so much more special‘.
• Michael Jackson – AEG Live has offered him a ‘standing offer with no expiration’ to play at London’s O2 arena, where Prince and the Spice Girls performed a run of shows and Led Zeppelin reformed for a hugely successful one-off concert last December.
• U2 – Bono says his recent personal tour of Liverpool, England from Paul McCartney was something of a surreal experience because The Beatles’ co-founder is treated like royalty there. According to Bono, “It was like being in the Popemobile with the Pope driving.”

GREEN NIGHTCLUB:
‘Surya’ is a new dance club in London UK that harnesses the movement of dancers to create energy. The club’s self-generating dance floor uses quartz crystals, ceramics, cutting edge technology, and the dancing motion of clubbers to create enough energy to power up to 50% of the venue’s energy requirements. In addition, a wind turbine and solar energy system make the club 100% fully sustainable and it even produces a surplus of electricity that’s donated to residents nearby. (One place you can help save the planet by dancing faster.)
– “This Is London”

SIGNS YOU WERE BORN IN ‘08:
Mothers in Kenya have marked Barack Obama’s election by naming their babies after him. More than half the babies born in a Kisumu Hospital the day after the election were named either ‘Barack Obama’ or ‘Michelle Obama’. Kisumu is close to the village where Obama’s father was born and raised. The entire region erupted in celebration after he won the race for the White House. (His name is being mispronounced all over the media; it’s ‘Bur-rock Oh-bomb-uh’, according to the man himself. He ought to know.)
– BBC News

WORLD’S WACKIEST ADDICTIONS:
• Body Dysmorphic Disorder – An unhealthy preoccupation with physical appearance which can lead to an addiction to procedure after procedure after procedure of cosmetic surgery.
• CrackBerry – The well documented addiction to using a BlackBerry. Hearing ‘phantom rings’ (or ‘phantom vibrations’) and the constant need to check email are good indicators.
• Funeral Addiction – So unique it doesn’t even have a name. Brazilian Luis Squarisi says he has it. He’s attended every funeral in his town for 20 years and quit his job to feed the addiction.
• Geophagy – Addiction to eating earth. While not considered a social norm in Western society, he custom (also know as ‘pica’) is quite common among primitive peoples. Mmm, dirt!
• Pagophagia – An obsessive need to chew on ice. Scientific research shows it can be a sign of low iron in the blood. (Or too many Scotches.)
• Tanorexia … addiction to tanning, particularly in artificial tanning salons. Health warnings just bounce off the true ‘tanorexic’.
• Teeth Whitening Addiction – Now that bleaching is easy and effective, people can really get hooked. Two possible side effects of this addiction are tooth sensitivity and gum irritation. (If your teeth are ‘toilet bowl white’, they’re too white.)
– Oddee.com

MOST IRRITATING EXPRESSIONS:
Researchers at Oxford University have compiled a new list of the most irritating current expressions by scanning a database of phrases from books, newspapers, magazines, broadcasting, the Internet and other sources. Among the most annoying cited …
• “At the end of the day …” (So overused it’s at the end of its day.)
• “Fairly unique” (Something’s either unique or not.)
• “I personally …” (Redundant, not to mention repetitive.)
• “At this moment in time” (As opposed to this moment in what?)
• “With all due respect” (The well worn setup used before a putdown.)
• “24/7” (Try ‘always’ … it’s shorter and doesn’t make people grind their teeth.)
• “It’s not rocket science” (As if you know.)
– “Daily Telegraph”

WEIRD WORLD OF BS:
• A woman jogging on a trail near Prescott, Arizona may have set a personal best for a one-mile run after encountering a fox that bit her leg. When she grabbed it by the neck, it bit her arm. Suspecting the beast had rabies, she ran a mile to her car with the fox clinging on her arm, then threw the critter in the trunk and drove to the nearest hospital where she was forced to endure anti-rabies treatment. (If that’s not bad enough, PETA is on her case about wearing fur.)
– AHN
•  A Spanish musician who builds and plays his own drums has contracted anthrax by inhaling … spores from imported animal hides. He’s in stable condition in a London, England hospital. The process of removing animal hairs in preparation for drum-skin use is thought to put people at a high risk of catching the disease. (Dude, next time go to Best Buy.)
– “The Guardian”
• A woman who reported the burglary of her house in Rheydt, Germany was forced to apologize to authorities for reporting the ‘crime’. Just as cops were investigating the ransacked home where knickknacks had been broken, draws emptied and furniture upended, the woman’s 16-year-old daughter arrived home and admitted … she created the mayhem while trying to find her bikini. (And you thought your kid was messy!)
– Ananova News Service
• A Sargent, Geogia man has set his house on fire while trying to get rid of cobwebs … with a blowtorch. The do-it-yourself genius ran into trouble while standing on a ladder flaming webs from the eaves. The local fire chief says no one was hurt and the homeowner won’t be charged, however … his entire house has suffered smoke and water damage.
– CBS News

DID YOU KNOW?
• It is impossible to lick your elbow.
• Horses can’t vomit.
• A crocodile can’t stick its tongue out.
• A shrimp’s heart is in its head.
• A pregnant goldfish is called a ‘twit’.
– “You Can’t Sneeze With Your Eyes Open”

AND WE QUOTE:
The reviews are in for the new movie rock opera “Repo! The Genetic Opera” and, putting it mildly, they’re not so good …
• “The film is bad – not good-bad, tacky-bad or fun-bad – just plain awful and nearly unwatchable.”
– “Los Angeles Times”
• “As bad as it gets. Easily one of the worst movies of the year, if not all time.”
– “San Jose Mercury“
• “Darren Lynn Bousman, the director of several “Saw” sequels, has devised an excruciating new torture with “Repo! The Genetic Opera”.
– New York Times”
• “A movie in search of a cult. Good luck.”
– MTV

BS CHRONOMETER 11.10.08
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1944 [64] Sir Tim Rice, Amersham UK, lyricist who’s worked with Andrew Lloyd Webber (“Jesus Christ Superstar”, “Evita”) and Elton John (“The Lion King”, “Aida”)

1968 [40] Tracy Morgan, NYC, TV actor (‘Tracy Jordan’ on “30 Rock”, “Saturday Night Live” 1996-2006)

1968 [40] Chris Cagle, DeRidder LA, country singer (“What Kinda Gone”, “I Breathe In, I Breathe Out”)

1969 [39] Ellen Pompeo, Everett MA, TV actress (‘Dr Meredith Grey’ on “Grey’s Anatomy” since 2005)

1975 [33] Jim Adkins, Mesa AZ, rock singer/guitarist (Jimmy Eat World-“Pain”, “The Middle”)

1977 [31] Brittany (Sharon) Murphy, Atlanta GA, movie actress (“Sin City”, “8 Mile”)  COMING UP: “Sin City 2” (2009).

1978 [30] Eve (Jihan Jeffers), Philadelphia PA, rapper (w/Gwen Stefani-“Rich Girl”, w/Gwen Stefani-“Let Me Blow Ya Mind”)/TV actress (“Eve” 2003-06)/movie actress (“Barbershop”)

1983 [25] Miranda Lambert, Lindale TX, country singer (“More Like Her”, “Gunpowder & Lead”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Forget-Me-Not Day”, a day for remembering those whose lives have touched us in some way. You’re encouraged to think of people who had an impact on your life and the way in which they changed it. (Then go see a lawyer and file charges.)

• “International Orangutan Awareness Week”, the 13th annual declared by the Nature Conservancy. It predicts orangutans will be extinct within 10-to-20 years if the average of a 1,000 kills per year continues. One reason the species is endangered: females can only give birth every 8 years.

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1932 [76] 1st “Hockey Night in Canada” broadcast airs on CBC Radio, with Foster Hewitt doing the play-by-play (Toronto & Boston tie 1-1)

1969 [39] Landmark children’s television show “Sesame Street” debuts (PBS)
– Which “Sesame Street” character was your favorite when you were growing up?
– Which “Sesame Street” character are you most like?

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1991 [17] Fastest ‘Backwards Marathon’ (4 hrs, 15 secs)

1997 [11] Toronto Blue Jays pitcher Roger Clemens wins the American League ‘Cy Young Award’ for an unprecedented 4th time

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] Remembrance Day
[Tues] Veterans Day
[Wed] 42nd CMA Awards (ABC)
[Wed] Prince of Wales’ 60th Birthday Celebration (London)
[Thurs] Guinness World Record Day 2008
[Thurs] 9th Latin Grammy Awards (Houston)
[Thurs] Beaver Moon (Full Moon of November)

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Eating Disorders Week / Fraud Awareness Week / Pursuit of Happiness Week / World Kindness Week / Young Readers Week

BULL’S BITS
BEST OF BS:
A highlight bit culled from 15 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …

WHAT SHE SAYS [WHAT SHE MEANS]:
• “You’re working too hard.” [“You’re not spending enough time with me.”]
• “Please, no presents for my birthday.” [“Surprise me.”]
• “What are you thinking about?” [“Do you still love me?”]
• “Do you want to talk about it?” [“I want to talk about it.”]
• “(Bleep) you, I can’t stand you.” [“(Bleep) you, I can’t stand you.”]
– “Esquire Magazine”

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Okay “Star Trek” fanatics. How many ears did ‘Spock’ have? [3 … left ear, right ear, and final frontier.]

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Fully half of women think they have THIS advantage in the workplace.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: They’re smarter.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.