Tuesday, November 18, 2008        Edition: #3903
Thanks For Being On Our Sheet List!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
President-elect Barack Obama’s chief of staff Rahm Emanuel’s brother is Hollywood agent Ari Emanuel, and one of Ari’s clients is Sarah Palin-nailer Tina Fey (small world, huh?) . . . 43-year-old former rap mogul Marion ‘Suge’ Knight has officially been charged with battery & drug possession, stemming from his arrest for the alleged assault of a girlfriend last August in Las Vegas (a more serious assault charge is doubtful as the victim has, ahem, disappeared) . . . Former “ER” actress Julianna Margulies has turned down an invitation to reprise her role during this 15th and final season of the NBC-TV medical drama because she doesn’t think her character’s storyline can be improved (her nurse ‘Carol Hathaway’ ended up settling down with George Clooney’s ‘Dr Doug Ross’ after all) . . . Syndicated morning TV talk show “Live With Regis & Kelly” is giving wannabe songwriters a shot at re-working the show’s theme song, the winning entry cleaning up $100,000 (Regis is 77 so it’ll only get played another 15 years or so) . . . We need this here! China’s Ministry of Culture has announced it will name & shame artists who lip-sync or engage in other ‘fake acts’ during music concerts, with repeat offenders getting their performing licenses revoked (guess you can strike China off Jessica Simpson”s tour calendar) . . . And according to “OK!” magazine, 45-year-old Paula Abdul is planning to step down from her duties as a judge on “American Idol” after the upcoming 8th season in order to develop her own TV projects, a source claiming she has ‘a new secret venture that she’s really excited about’ (BS translation: She’s been given her notice).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• Beyoncé – She releases the new double album “I Am … Sasha Fierce”. Sasha is her personal name for her show biz persona.
• Blake Shelton – He releases his 5th album, “Startin’ Fires”, which includes a duet with his current tour partner Miranda Lambert.
• David Cook – The latest “American Idol” winner releases his self-titled debut album.
• Nickelback – They release their new Mutt Lange-produced album “Dark Horse”.
• Rod Stewart – “The Definitive Rod Stewart” is released, available in a 2-CD incarnation and a ‘Deluxe Edition’ with a DVD of 14 music videos.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Brit singer Adele (“Chasing Pavements”) performs.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Bon Jovi – Guitarist Richie Sambora says they’re working on a documentary and live DVD of last year’s “Lost Highway” concert tour as well as a greatest hits album. He expects the DVD and best-of collection to be packaged together for a Fall 2009 release.
• Britney Spears – Rumor has it she’s talking to NBC-TV about performing live at the Rockefeller Center tree lighting ceremony on December 3rd. (You would think she’d want to be a network that has actual viewers.)
• Michael Jackson – Reports say he’s being sued by super-rich Arab sheik Prince Abdulla Al-Khalif for backing out of an exclusive deal to pen an autobiography, release 2 albums and help produce a musical of his life. The prince alleges that, in return, he gave the King of Pop a $120,000 Rolls-Royce and funding to maintain control of his Neverland Ranch. The case is set to be heard at London’s High Court.
• Madonna – She’s posted a video message on her website asking fans to help her build a school in Africa, the ‘Raising Malawi Academy for Girls’. (Aka ‘Look at me … I’m Just Like Oprah’.)
• Snoop Dogg — His family & staff are among more than 25,000 who’ve been evacuated from their homes due to the uncontrollable blaze that has already destroyed more than 150 houses in Southern California. The rapper is apparently not currently staying at the multi-million dollar house in the exclusive hillside community of Diamond Bar.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “The Sisterhood Of the Traveling Pants 2” ( Adventure Comedy ): Thanks to contractual requirements, all 4 original castmates – Alexis Bledel (“Gilmore Girls” 2000-07), America Ferrera (“Ugly Betty”), Amber Tamblyn (“Joan of Arcadia” 2003-05), and Blake Lively (“Gossip Girl”) – return for this sequel to the 2005 film, which is an adaptation of the 4th book in Ann Brashares’ popular series of novels. This time, they reunite during their 1st year of college in a Greek village in a bid to locate their missing pair of magical jeans.
• “Tropic Thunder” ( Action Comedy ): Through a series of freak occurrences, a group of actors shooting a big-budget war movie is forced to become the soldiers they are portraying. Ben Stiller directs and stars, alongside Jack Black and Robert Downey Jr (in black-face). Cameos by Alicia Silverstone, Jason Bateman, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jon Voight, Lance Bass, Matthew McConaughey, Nick Nolte, Tom Cruise, and Tyra Banks. Also comes in a ‘2-Disc Director’s Cut’.
• “WALL*E” ( Animated Comedy ): Disney family fare about a trash-compacting robot (‘Waste Allocation Load Lifter Earth-Class’) who falls for a female droid named ‘EVE’ and sets out on an intergalactic journey in order to be with her. Sound designer Ben Burtt voices most of the characters and SFX. Support cast includes Fred Willard, John Ratzenberger, and Sigourney Weaver. Available in 2-disc and 3-disc ‘Special Editions’.
• Also released TODAY: “Bones: Season 3 – Totally Decomposed Edition” (TV); “Hannah Montana: The Complete 1st Season” (TV); “Live at Wembley Stadium” (Foo Fighters concert); “The Odd Couple: The Complete Series” (classic TV); “Star Trek: The Original Series – Season 3“ (classic TV); and “300 – Limited Collector’s Edition”.

FORGET FINGERPRINTS:
The latest advanced biometric system for verifying identification involves analyzing the unique patterns of veins inside fingers. Developed by Japan’s Hitachi Corp, ‘Finger Vein Authentication’ has been introduced by several Japanese banks over the past 2 years. It’s said to be the fastest and most secure biometric method, it verifies a person’s identity based on the latticework of minute blood vessels under the skin. In Japan, thousands of cash machines are now operated by ‘FVA’.
– “Times of London”

DID YOU KNOW?
• Domino’s Pizza in Iceland has ‘reindeer sausage’ on its menu of toppings.
• Being unmarried can shorten a man’s life by 10 years.
• Just 3% of all mammals are monogamous.
– AskMen.com

NO NOOKIE IN NAGASAKI:
A new study by the Japanese Family Planning Association has discovered that over a third of Japanese couples (37%) have given up on intimacy. The reasons range from ‘fatigue caused by work’ to ‘boredom with lovemaking’. The data is corroborated by a 2006 study that finds the average Japanese couple has relations just 45 times a year, less than half the global average. Couple that with its present birth rate and demographers forecast Japan’s population will dip from 128 million to only 95 million by 2050.
– “The Telegraph”

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A statistical breakdown of life by the numbers …
• 68% of moms with kids in school admit they cry about it at least once a week.
• 41% of us admit we don’t houseclean as well as we used to, and MUCH less than our mothers.
• 21% of people with pets say they go on vacations less often.
• 20% of men would love to be a professional gambler as a vocation.
• 17% of us include exercise as part of our daily routine.
• 11% of men sleep in the nude while staying in hotels.

IT’S ALL ABOUT LOOKS:
So-called ‘speed dating’ is nothing more than a beauty contest, according to a new University of Edinburgh study. Researchers have found that the larger the group of potential mates we have to choose from, the more likely we are to make a decision based on looks and physical appeal. Researchers think that’s because, when faced with a wide variety of prospects, we revert to our basic instincts. In other words, when seeking a short-term partner, we forget about ideals and hit on the hottie.
– “New Scientist”

TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
• A Nanaimo BC man is seeking $2 billion in damages from Microsoft, Telus, Wal-Mart and the RCMP for ‘mind-control harassment and invasive brainwave experiments’. A judge has ruled that, although bizarre, there is nothing in the filing that cannot be litigated. Along with the charges of mind control, Jerry Rose is also accusing the defendants of ‘satanic rituals, witchcraft, and stealing computer technology that he invented’. (The rest is totally believable, but witchcraft? C’mon.)
– “Vancouver Sun”
• A San Diego CA man has filed a class action suit against Classmates.com, claiming its owners misled him into paying a $15-membership fee because old classmates were looking for him. However, a year after taking out a ‘Gold Membership’, Anthony Michaels says he’s had no contact from former classmates whatsoever. The lawsuit asks that the website be forced to refund fees and be fined for deceptive advertising. Classmates.com claims to have 2.7 million paying users. (Dude, maybe it’s just that you’re STILL not popular.)
– “MediaPost”
• A  Xi’an, China couple has been wed in mid-air in a pair of front-end loaders. The idea was to honor a local tradition that the bride’s feet should never touch the ground during the journey from home to the ceremony. The usual way of following the tradition is for the groom to carry his bride, but as this particular husband-to-be has a job selling heavy machinery, his colleagues came up with the idea of using a pair of tractor buckets … the bride and 2 bridesmaids in one; the groom and 2 groomsmen in the other. (Who wouldn’t be proud to have a wife delivered in a front-end loader?)
– “Huashang Daily”

BEWARE YOUR BELTLINE:
Having a large waistline can almost double your risk of dying prematurely even if your Body Mass Index is in the normal range, according to a new study of over 350,000 people. The risk of premature death is around double for those with larger waists (more than 47 inches for men and over 39 inches for women) compared to those with smaller waists. Each 2-inch increase in waist size increases mortality risk by 17% in men and 13% in women. The results suggest that not only can being overweight be dangerous but also the distribution of body fat. (Michelin Man has a terminal radial tire.)
– “New England Journal of Medicine”

BS SIGNS HE’S CHEATING ON YOU:
• He doesn’t want to go out and makes excuses for not being together.
• He has a new favorite hang-out spot you hadn’t heard of before.
• He suddenly has new friends you never knew about.
• There’s been a drastic decline in physical intimacy.
• He stays out late and makes lame excuses.
• He has a roving eye that just won’t quit.
• He seems indifferent and preoccupied.
• You smell a new cologne on his shirt.
• He doesn’t return your calls.
(And how about: You haven’t seem him in 3 years?)
– Match.com

BS AMAZING FACT:
Zimbabwe’s inflation rate has hit 13.2 billion per cent. It’s now in 2nd place for the worst inflation spike in history behind only Hungary which logged a 12.95 quadrillion per cent inflation in 1946, during which prices doubled every 15.6 hours.
– AHN

BS CHRONOMETER 11.18.08
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1939 [69] Margaret (Peggy) Atwood, Ottawa ON, ‘dean of Canadian authors’ (Booker Prize- “The Blind Assassin”, Giller Prize-“Alias Grace”, Governor General’s Award-“The Handmaid’s Tale”)/Companion of the Order of Canada (1981)/Canada’s Walk of Fame (2001)  UP NEXT: “God’s Gardeners” (2009)

1958 [50] Oscar Nunez, Cuba, TV actor (‘Oscar Martinez’ on “The Office” since 2005)

1962 [46] Kirk Hammet, San Francisco CA, rock guitarist/singer (Metallica-“The Day That Never Comes”, “St Anger”)

1968 [40] Owen Wilson, Dallas TX, movie actor (“You, Me & Dupree”, “Wedding Crashers”)/brother of actor Luke Wilson

1979 [29] Fabolous (John Jackson), Brooklyn NY, rapper (f/Ne-Yo-“Make Me Better”, “Breathe”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Married to a Scorpio Support Day”, a day of remembrance to honor those who are married to Scorpios. Are they that bad? Any horror stories out there?

• “Mickey Mouse Day”, generally observed as his ‘birthday’ when he appeared in the cartoon short “Steamboat Willie” in 1928 (now making him a geezer mouse of 80!). It was the first cartoon with synchronized sound.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1997 [11] 25 people are injured trying to get inside a Texas shopping mall for a concert by boy-band Hanson
 
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1883 [125] 1st ‘Standard Time Zones’ adopted by railroads in Canada & the USA

1913 [95] 1st (intentional) ‘Loop-de-Loop’ flown in an airplane (next day, the ‘Barf Bag’ is invented)

1936 [72] George McCullagh’s “Globe” newspaper purchases “The Mail & Empire” and amalgamates them to form the “Globe & Mail” (eventually leads to CTVglobemedia)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1991 [17] Suzanne Ferrer of Loire Valley, France becomes a great-grandmother at age 49 (had her first child at age 16, her daughter gave birth at 17, and her granddaughter at 15)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Have A Bad Day Day
[Wed] World Toilet Day
[Thurs] Absurdity Day
[Thurs] Name Your PC Day
[Thurs] National Child Day in Canada
[Thurs] Universal Children’s Day
[Thurs] 32nd Great American Smokeout
[Thurs] 2008 Billboard Touring Awards (NYC)
[Thurs] Universal Children’s Day
[Thurs] 32nd Great American Smokeout
[Fri] World Hello Day
[Fri] False Confessions Day
[Fri] World Television Day
This Week Is … Culinary Week
This Month Is … Alzheimer’s Disease Month

BULL’S BITS
GEEK PICKUP LINES:
• “If you were a phaser, you’d be set on ‘stunning’.”
• “You’re as curvy as a toroid.”
• “Later, when my Facebook page asks me what I’m doing, can I write ‘You’?”
• “I was hoping you wouldn’t block my pop-up.”
• “You can put a Trojan on my hard drive anytime.”
• “Wanna plug ‘n play?”

BS RANDOM JOKE:
She didn’t want to marry him for his money, but she didn’t know how else to get it.

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the best innovation of the past 25 years?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Women benefit more in a job interview than men when they do THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Proffer a firm handshake.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
You’ll never get dizzy doing a good turn.