Thursday, November 5, 2020 — Edition: #6844
Never Accept a Generic – Ask For Pure “BS”!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Despite their efforts, Julianne Hough and ex-NHL’er Brooks Laich couldn’t seem to make their marriage work. Hough officially filed for divorce from Laich on Monday, five months after they announced their separation. Though they had continued working on their relationship, a source says they were ultimately on different pages when it comes to their future. While Hough has yet to publicly address the divorce filing, she posted a quote on her Instagram Story saying: “May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.”
-People
★ Sean Connery’s retreat in the South of France was quietly put up for sale in the weeks leading to the former ‘James Bond’ star’s death on Saturday. Connery, who also owned homes in England, Spain, and the Bahamas, put the pad on the market at $33.87 million. Referred to locally as “Sean’s place”, the French Riviera home was featured in Connery’s unofficial Bond film “Never Say Never Again”, which was shot on location in Nice and Monaco.
-Canoe
★ The insanely catchy children’s video “Baby Shark Dance” has moved past Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee’s “Despacito” to become the most-viewed YouTube video of all-time. The signature Pinkfong video featuring the earworm ditty currently has 7.04 billion views, slipping just above the 2017 single from Fonsi and Daddy Yankee that became a global smash.
-MSN
★ For the 2020 Christmas season, Gwyneth Paltrow’s lifestyle and wellness brand Goop is recommending a whole host of characteristically over-the-top and extravagant presents for the loved ones on your list, many of them thoughtfully tailored to the age of quarantine — like a $2,000 Ouija board and $7,500 birthing chair. Or enjoy a soak in your custom concrete self-heating tub from Igneous Bath (from $100,000) or a snooze in your Goop x Avocado bed (from $38,000).
-PageSix
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): David Duchovny, Jon Pardi
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Kenan Thompson, Kate Mara, James Blake
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Larry Wilmore, Laura Benanti
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): David Sedaris
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Christine and the Queens
• “Conan” (TBS): Nicolle Wallace
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Shep Rose, Craig Conover
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Day of Hot Topics
• “The Talk” (CBS): Lorraine Bracco, guest co-host Amanda Kloots
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Eva LaRue, Susan Lucci, Finola Hughes, Cameron Mathison, Walt Willey, Dondre Whitfield, Faith Ford, Ted McGinley
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Magic Johnson, 24KGoldn
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Julie Andrews, Emma Walton Hamilton, Madison Beer
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Gabriel Iglesias, Malin Akerman, Kat Dennings, Aisha Tyler, Chelsea Peretti
• “Young Sheldon” (CBS): Season 4 premiere
• “Mom” (CBS): Season 8 premiere
• “B Positive” (CBS): Series premiere. Drew, a recently divorced father, discovers he needs a kidney and finds his donor in the last person he ever would’ve imagined.
• “The First 48 Presents Critical Minutes” (A&E): Premiere. In Memphis, six people are murdered in the same house; a U.S. Navy veteran disappears in Tulsa; in Atlanta, the brutal shooting of a young engaged couple on the side of the road haunts investigators.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Justin Bieber – will perform at the 2020 E! People’s Choice Awards Nov. 15. He’s the most-nominated male artist for this year’s ceremony with 7, and a publicist says he’ll sing “multiple hit songs”. Demi Lovato will host.
• Drake – His single ‘Laugh Now Cry Later’ is a record breaker. In hitting #1 on Billboard’s Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs chart, it becomes his 21st chart topper, breaking the record he previously shared with Aretha Franklin and Stevie Wonder. The song will appear on his upcoming album “Certified Lover Boy”, set to drop in January.
• Shaggy — His new album “Christmas in the Islands” drops on Nov. 20. The reggae-themed holiday collection recalls his childhood spent on the beach at Christmas time.
• James Blunt — says he has trolls to thank for his new book. His humorous biography “How To Be A Complete and Utter Blunt: Diary of a Reluctant Social Media Sensation” comes out this week. He says that being mocked online and the fact that he couldn’t tour due to the pandemic led to him putting the book together.
• Tracy Chapman — returned to television for the first time in years to perform a new rendition of her 1988 track ‘Talkin’ Bout a Revolution’ on Monday’s “Late Night With Seth Meyers.” She tweaked the lyrics of the final chorus to make it relevant to the 2020 US presidential election, singing: “Talkin’ bout a revolution, go vote.”
• David Bowie – A 1991 live performance with Morrissey of T Rex’s ‘Cosmic Dancer’ at an LA concert will finally officially be released Nov. 13. It arrives via digital download and streaming services, with a physical seven-inch single coming on Feb. 19.
• Miranda Lambert — On her Instagram Story, she posted pics of the tree that she planted on her Tennessee farm in memory of Waylon, the dog she recently lost after 13 years together. Last month she explained that she found Waylon and his sister Jessie on the side of the road in Oklahoma, “abandoned, starving and freezing nearly to death.”
• Matt Stell – The college basketball player-turned country star has scored his second Billboard Country Airplay #1 — ‘Everywhere But On’. ‘Prayed for You’ hit the top spot last year.
• Gabby Barrett – Has a few reasons to be nervous about her upcoming performance of ‘I Hope’ with Charlie Puth at the 2020 CMAs on Nov. 11. For one, the former “American Idol” contestant has never met Puth in person before. Plus, she’s in the third trimester of her pregnancy, and is “having a hard time breathing…and baby just crushing your diaphragm — you know, all the good things!”
ONE MORE ZOOM-CALL:
Almost everyone has had to makes changes in the way they do their business this year – and Santa is no exception. Many malls have decided that they are unable to offer in-person visits with Santa Claus to children this year due to the pandemic. Instead, kids will be given the chance to recite their wish lists virtually. On the other hand, Cadillac-Fairview, which operates malls in 5 Canadian provinces, says that they are doing their best to bring back some of the joy of the season for children, but because they need to ensure safety, they will be offering physically-distanced photos with Santa in-person. For those who aren’t comfortable with that, there will also be private video chats with Santa “from the North Pole”. They are also offering a series of “story-times” with Santa on Instagram and Facebook Live, where families will be invited to interact with Father Christmas through comments on the live stream.
(We’ll just hope that the kids aren’t asking for an internet connection for Christmas!)
(This would have been handy when I was a kid. It’s much easier to tell Santa you’ve been good virtually than when you’re sitting on his lap!)
(On the plus side, no Santa-breath!)
-CTV
SNORE NO MORE:
What if there were a magical pill that would make your spouse stop snoring? Apparently, there is. A new drug entering clinical trials in the United States could be a slumber saver – for the whole household. A 2018 study found that a once-a-night tablet which combines two sleep-related drugs effectively reduced snoring frequency for volunteers by 74%. Now, the simple, but potentially revolutionary therapy will be put to the test in a clinical trial. In the earlier study, researchers found that not only did the drug cocktail reduce snoring, patients’ blood oxygen levels also increased significantly throughout the trial.
(Of course, an alternate therapy would be to give the two sleeping drugs to the SPOUSE, and they won’t CARE how much their partner is snoring…)
(I can always tell when I’ve been snoring because I wake up with a sore throat. And my wife’s hands wrapped around it…)
(I snore and it does cause problems. Oh, I’m not married. But I’ve lost my job because of it!)
-NYPost
SEALING IS SOARING:
The good news is that not all businesses are suffering in the wake of the pandemic. Makers of PPE equipment are certainly doing well. Food delivery services are booming. Online retailers like Amazon are posting record gains. And Tupperware. Tupperware? The food storage product company announced soaring profits last week, fueled largely by demand from pandemic-era home chefs. After a string of dismal earnings recently, Tupperware announced profits of $34.4 million for the third quarter of 2020, up from $7.8 million in the same quarter last year. CEO Miguel Fernandez said “The pandemic has created a new norm with more people living at home and increased consumer concerns regarding food safety and food storage.” The company is currently working to “align the brand with the trend of people cooking and eating at home by creating products that help customers save time during food prep and keep their food fresher and safer for longer periods of time.” And the best days for Tupperware might be yet to come. It also hopes to benefit from increased demand for reusable products that replace single use plastics and other disposable items.
(Wow. Imagine how well they’d be doing if people could still have Tupperware parties!)
(And even though everyone is buying more Tupperware, somehow, they STILL can’t find a lid!)
(My Tupperware is just like Trump. It used to be white, but now it’s orange!)
-CNN
FUNNIEST TWEETS OF THE WEEK FROM PARENTS:
⇒ My toddler just threw herself on the floor and started crying, and I’m like, “girl, same.” – Laura Marie
⇒ If a parent watches their child in a forest and no one is around to hear them, are they still screaming? – Richard Dean
⇒ 4-year-old: Can I have scissors? Me: For what? 4: Not cutting my hair. Sounds legit. – James Breakwell
⇒ NASA: *finds water in the moon. My kids: that’s my water bottle I’m saving it for later – Dave Ween
⇒ I have discovered a fossilized dinosaur chicken nugget under my oven. **adds archeologist to my resume – mom mom mom mom mom
⇒ Parenting involves a lot more sighing than I expected. – The Dad
…AND A FEW FROM PET OWNERS:
⇒ My cat either enjoys getting kicked or is trying to trip me. There’s no way the last-second sprint into my walking legs is accidental. – Andrew Price
⇒ If you want to know how it’s going I just filled the cat’s food bowl with ground coffee and then started to put cat food in the coffee filter – Drew Daniel
-HuffPost
DID YOU KNOW?
Kate Winslet has set the “Hollywood record” for holding one’s breath underwater while filming. She reportedly held her breath for an incredible 7 minutes, 14 seconds while working on “Avatar 2”. The previous record of 6 minutes was held by Tom Cruise, who owned the title since filming a scene for “Mission: Impossible — Rogue Nation” in 2015.
-CNET
BS CHRONOMETER 11.05.20
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1941 [79] Art Garfunkel, New York NY, folk-pop singer (Simon & Garfunkel-‘Mrs. Robinson’)
1955 [65] Kris Jenner, San Diego CA, momager/TV personality (“Keeping Up with the Kardashians”)
1959 [61] Bryan Adams, Kingston ON, pop-rock singer-guitarist (‘Summer of ’69’, ‘Cuts Like a Knife’)/professional photographer (“Exposed”)
1960 [60] Tilda Swinton, London UK, movie actress (“The Grand Budapest Hotel”, “Snowpiercer”)
1963 [57] Tatum O’Neal, Los Angeles CA, movie actress (“The Bad News Bears”, Little Darlings”)/Youngest person to win an Academy Award (for “Paper Moon” at age 10)
1964 [56] Famke Janssen, Amstelveen Netherlands, movie actress (“X-Men” movies, “Taken” movies”)
1968 [52] Sam Rockwell, Daly City CA, movie actor (“The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”, ‘Justin Hammer’ in “Iron Man 2”)/TV voice actor (‘Vic’ in “F is for Family” 2015-present)
1971 [49] Jonny Greenwood, Oxford UK, rock guitarist-keyboardist (Radiohead-‘Creep’, Karma Police’)
1974 [46] Ryan Adams, Jacksonville NC, alt-country/rock singer-songwriter-guitarist (‘Bad Blood’, ‘Lucky Now’)/wed to Mandy Moore 2009-15
1987 [33] Kevin Jonas, Teaneck NJ, pop singer (Jonas Brothers-‘Sucker’, ‘Only Human’)
BS REASON TO PARTY . . .
• “Guy Fawkes Day” in England, a traditional celebration since 1752 (also celebrated in New Zealand and the Canadian province of Newfoundland & Labrador). It commemorates the 1605 ‘Gunpowder Plot’ when Fawkes-led Catholics attempted to blow up the Parliament Buildings. One of the day’s traditions gives it its nickname … ‘Bonfire Night’.
• “Commercial TV Broadcast Day”, the first commercial was broadcast on television on this date in 1930. (Quick, what is your favorite of all time?)
• “American Football Day”, On this day in 1959, sports fan Lamar Hunt launched a league of his own – the American Football League (AFL). It merged with the NFL in 1966.
• “Love Your Red Hair Day”, a day to celebrate the beauty of those gorgeous red tresses. Today, gingers are encouraged to celebrate their red hair by posting photos on social media using #LoveYourRedHairDay.
BS GINGER SNAPS: Famous redheads include musicians Ed Sheeran, Florence Welch (Florence + the Machine) and birthday-boy Art Garfunkel (when he was younger); actresses Christina Hendricks, Emma Stone, Julianne Moore; actors Benedict Cumberbatch, Damien Lewis and Eddie Redmayne (appropriate name or what?), and, of course, Prince Harry.
• “Bank Transfer Day”, started in response to plans by big banks to charge fees that many people saw as excessive. The day encourages people to transfer their money from big commercial banks to not-for-profit credit unions.
COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Basketball Day
[Fri] National Nachos Day
[Sat] Hug a Bear Day
[Sat] Book Lovers Day
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2007 [13] TV, film, and radio writers who are members of the Writers Guild of America go on strike, shutting down more than 60 TV programs, including all the late-night talk shows. The strike lasts until Feb. 12, 2008
2015 [05] Collins Dictionary names “binge-watch” the word of the year, followed by “transgender”
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1988 [32] The Beach Boys, who haven’t had a #1 hit since ‘Good Vibrations’ in 1966, top the charts with the Brian Wilson-less ‘Kokomo’, from the movie “Cocktail”. It’s the longest gap between #1 hits for any artist. (Exceeded by Cher with ‘Believe’ in 1999)
2011 [09] A decayed tooth that once belonged to the late John Lennon sells at auction for over $31,000
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1935 [85] The game of “Monopoly” is launched by Parker Brothers
2007 [13] The Android mobile operating system is unveiled by Google
TODAY’S SECOND . . .
2018 [02] NASA’s Voyager 2 probe (launched in 1977) leaves the solar system, becoming the second human-made object to reach interstellar space (the first was Voyager 1 in 2012)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2014 [06] A Van Gogh painting, “Still Life, Vase with Daisies, and Poppies”, sells for $61.8 million, exceeding its estimated worth of $50 million
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ The “Fi” in “WiFi” doesn’t mean anything. Its creators just called it that because it rhymes with “HiFi”.
✓ In the 19th century, ‘Shirley’ was a popular name for boys.
✓ The average human will yawn around 250,000 times over the course of his or her life.
✓ By the age of 20, you’ve lost 20% of your sense of smell.
✓ Sherlock Holmes NEVER actually said, “Elementary, my dear Watson.”
✓ Leonardo da Vinci inVented an alarm clock that woke him by rubbing his feet.
-FactSlides
Best of BS . . .
BS PROBLEMS AUTUMN BRINGS:
• Your Mom telling you what time it “really” is for three days after the clock change.
• It is now officially too late to take down your Christmas lights.
• Is that a leaf or dog doo?
• Having to spell Autumn.
• It takes too long to get a tan.
• Having to see all those “Winter is coming” memes.
• Too much flannel.
• Too much pumpkin spice.
• Tripping. A lot of tripping. After all, it is Fall.
• She talked me into leaving my wife, then told me she wasn’t looking for anything “serious.” And she chews gum with her mouth open. Oh, wait…
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018
TODAY’S SLICE OF BS:
➠ Kris Jenner is 65 today. (Her kids don’t know what to get her because they haven’t read the script yet…)
➠ Kris Jenner is 65 today. (It’s not too late for a gift either. She’s registered at Bed, Bath & Botox!)
➠ The 97th anniversary of the Republic of Turkey just took place. (Speaking of, do you know why Turkey has such a strong border? Their neighbor is “Hungary.” Thank you and goodnight.)
➠ (***Confirm still accurate***) We are in the middle of the tightest race for President since the Al Gore days. Insiders say that every vote in 2020 matters. (Not mine! The only thing I’ve EVER done in a curtain-enclosed booth was try on cargo shorts at Old Navy…)
We are in the middle of the tightest race for President since the Al Gore days. Insiders say that every vote in 2020 matters. *NOT MINE. The only thing I’ve EVER done in a curtain-enclosed booth was try on cargo shorts from Old Navy.
➠ Fact of the Day: Cats ‘headbutt’ you as a way of saying they trust you. (However, in Jean-Claude Van Damme movies, it’s a way of saying: “I Can’t Act.”).
BS WEB GOODIE:
Surprise: https://tinyurl.com/y4z7drap
BS PHONE STARTER:
What unpopular movie do you highly recommend?
BS RANDOM JOKE:
I have good taste, but I don’t have the money to prove it.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: When asked, “What’s the last thing your spouse did that made you briefly stop talking to them”, 1 in 5 said THIS. What is it?
Answer: Threw away something of theirs without telling them
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Things work out best for those who make the best of how things work out.
