The Bull Sheet

November 1 2019

Friday, November 1, 2019 – Edition: #6564

Sheeters Always Prosper!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Alex Trebek is working to raise awareness about the pancreatic cancer he is battling. He’s teamed with the World Pancreatic Cancer Coalition for a new public service announcement. Trebek speaks in the video about the need for more attention and awareness about the disease and its symptoms, saying: “I wish I had known sooner that the persistent stomach pain I experienced before my diagnosis was a symptom of pancreatic cancer.” He goes on to point out that, “Other common symptoms can include mid back pain, unexplained weight loss, new onset diabetes and the yellowing of the skin or eyes.” World Pancreatic Cancer Day is Nov. 21.
-MSN
★ Meg Ryan and John Mellencamp have called off their engagement. US Weekly is reporting that the two have decided to split ways. They quote a source as saying, “She’d had enough and ended [their engagement]. She has no regrets.” Ryan and Mellencamp first started dating in 2011. They broke up in 2014 but got back together later that year, before splitting again in 2015 and reconciling in 2017. (Stay tuned for updates!)
-TheBlast
★ Shia LaBeouf is currently promoting “Honey Boy”, a deeply personal autobiographical look at his life as a child star — played, in a meta twist, by LaBeouf himself. In the film, he goes into detail about his various troubles with the law, and admits that after his last arrest he realized he’d hit rock bottom, and quit drinking entirely. He then “resigned” himself to the notion that if he didn’t get professional help he’d ultimately wind up in jail, which led him to discover he has PTSD.
-MSN
★ It’s never too late to think about a new career. Just ask Bill Murray, who has apparently been hired at P.F. Chang’s in the Atlanta Airport. In a recent interview, Murray said that he once noticed that everyone working at the restaurant looked like they were having a great time, and claimed he’d submitted an application. But whether or not he was serious, Murray might have a new boss. The restaurant chain apparently heard about it and tweeted: “Bill, you’re hired! When can you start?”
-FoxNews

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Jennifer Aniston, Dave Matthews, Blanco Brown (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson, Conan O’Brien
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Kenan Thompson, David Remnick, Steve Gorman (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Michelle Dockery, Max Greenfield, Alessia Cara (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Miranda Lambert
• “The Talk” (CBS): Angela Bassett, Jodie Sweetin
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Emma Thompson, Dr. Wendy Bazilian, Ingrid Michaelson
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Greta Thunberg, Garth Brooks
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Hailee Steinfeld, Valerie Bertinelli
• “Celeste Barber: Challenge Accepted” (SHOWTIME): The actor, comic and social media personality explains the story behind some of her most famous images, along with her new relationship with famous people and her fans.
• “CMT’s Nashville Squares” (CMT): Season premiere. Celebrity contestants answer country music and pop culture questions with the goal of winning prizes for fans.

SATURDAY-
• “Merry & Bright” (HALLMARK): Merry and Bright Candy Cane Company owner Cate meets a man during the busy Christmas season and assumes he is the suitor her mother is trying to set her up with.
• “Daniel Sloss: X” (HBO): The Scottish comic skewers society’s gender constructs and mines his own personal experiences to reveal the humor inherent in today’s fraught masculinity.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Host Kristen Stewart with musical guest Coldplay.

SUNDAY-
• “2019 MTV Europe Music Awards” (MTV): Halsey, Rosalia, Becky G, Ava Max and Mabel Will perform at the 2019 MTV Europe Music Awards in Seville, Spain.
• “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” (BRAVO): Season 12 premiere

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Taylor Swift — will be hailed as the Artist of the Decade at the 2019 American Music Awards, which will air Nov. 24 on ABC. She’ll also perform. Swift has five nominations this year, and holds the record for the most AMA wins of any female artist ever (23).
• Ed Sheeran – His manager says that the singer and his team are conscious of “overkill”. In an interview, Stuart Camp said: “We’re very conscious of not doing overkill. Bizarrely, we’ve been doing it for 10 years where we really have overkilled, but no one seems to be sick of it.”
• Ricky Martin — It’s a boy for him and husband Jwan Yosef. They’ve welcomed their fourth child, a son named Renn. He joins big brothers, fraternal twins Matteo and Valentino, 11, and big sister Lucia, 10 months.
• Ringo Starr – says he still feels like the late John Lennon is ”in [his] life”. Starr was overwhelmed with emotion when producer Jack Douglas recently gave him a recording of ‘Grow Old With Me’ from his bandmate’s 1980 “Bermuda Tapes” demos and he heard Lennon talking about him on the recordings.
• Dave Grohl – appeared on the children’s show “Ryan’s Mystery Playdate” yesterday. A preview for the episode, titled “Ryan’s Legendary Playdate”, showed Grohl cavorting with the program’s 7-year-old host and YouTube sensation Ryan Kaji, along with other children, including Grohl’s youngest daughter, Ophelia.
• George Michael – Gave Emma Thompson his blessing for her “Last Christmas” film. She wrote the festive romantic comedy, starring Emilia Clarke, around Michael’s music and says that before his passing, Michael was all for the movie and its social message. “Last Christmas” hits theaters November 15.
• Montgomery Gentry – has shared footage of one of their final live performances together. Fans submitted video of the duo performing ‘Outskirts’ shortly before Troy Gentry died in a helicopter crash in 2017. (***See it here: https://popculture.com/country-music/2019/10/30/montgomery-gentry-releases-last-live-performance-footage-outskirts/ ***)
• Kane Brown – He and his wife, Katelyn Jae, have welcomed their first child, a daughter. On Wed., he Instagrammed the family’s first photo together with the words: “Welcome to the family Kingsley Rose Brown!!!!”

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Terminator: Dark Fate” (R-Rated, Action/Adventure):  More than two decades have passed since she prevented Judgment Day. Now, Sarah Connor and a hybrid cyborg human must protect a young girl from a highly advanced and deadly new Terminator from the future. (Linda Hamilton, Arnold Schwarzenegger)
• “Motherless Brooklyn” (R-Rated, Drama):  In 1950s New York, Lionel Essrog, a lonely private detective afflicted with Tourette’s Syndrome, tries to solve the murder of his mentor and only friend, Frank Minna. (Edward Norton, Alec Baldwin)
• “Arctic Dogs” (PG, Animation/Kids):  Swifty the Arctic Fox works in a mailroom, but he yearns to become a Top Dog, one of the Arctic’s star husky couriers. To prove he can do it, he commandeers one of the sleds and delivers a mysterious package to a secret location. Once there, he stumbles on a hidden fortress overseen by the nefarious Otto Von Walrus. (Anjelica Huston, James Franco, Jeremy Renner)
• “The Irishman” (R-Rated, Drama/Mystery, Limited):  This biographical crime thriller follows Frank Sheeran as he recalls his years working for the Bufalino crime family. Now older, he reflects on his most prolific hits and recounts his involvement with his good friend Jimmy Hoffa’s disappearance in 1975. (Jesse Plemons, Robert De Niro, Al Pacino)

THERE’S A NAP FOR THAT:
A new business in midtown Toronto might turn out to be the sleeper hit of the Christmas season. “Nap it Up” is a studio that invites its patrons to drop in and…drop out. Its aim is to provide some peace and quiet to busy Torontonians who feel the need to slow down and enjoy a little shut eye. “Nap It Up” is the brainchild of Mehzabeen Rahman and her husband, who say they were both finding it hard to stay awake throughout the day. Starting at $10, mid-day sleepers can rent a bed for 25, 55, or 85 minutes—and the Rahmans have left nothing to chance in trying to make it the perfect place to pass out. The 13-bed space is designed with a focus on privacy, and heavy curtains separate each of the beds. The studio offers sleepers an eye mask as well as a lockbox for their valuables. When customers wake up, there’s water waiting, along with mints and a mirror. And yes, sheets are changed after each use.
(So you can rent a bed for 25, 55 or 85 minutes? Just my luck, I’d end up napping for 30, 60 or 90 minutes!)
(I’d pay that just to get away from my kids for an hour!)
(Heavy curtains? As a professional snorer, challenge accepted!)
-CTV

NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ An Australian woman really wanted to avoid paying baggage fees on her flight, so she faked a baby bump using her carry-on items. Travel writer Rebecca Andrews provided a step-by-step guide on how she faked a pregnancy using the heaviest items that she had packed. That included wearing something really stretchy, wrapping her electronics in satin, molding it to replicate a smooth bump, then layering clothes on top. She also put her laptop down her back to save carry-on weight. She managed to get through security, but once she reached her gate, she dropped her boarding pass, and when she bent down, airport employees noticed the shape of her laptop down her back. At that point, she admitted that she had “triple-layered” to avoid the fee but never copped to the fact that she wasn’t really pregnant. (What was she ‘expecting’?)
➢ A California school thought it was printing a suicide prevention hotline on student IDs — but accidentally used a number for a sex line. New Vista Middle School in Lancaster printed a list of helpful numbers on the back of the ID cards, including a 24-hour suicide prevention line, but a horrified parent realized that the printed number was actually a phone sex line. It’s not clear how the mistake was made. (Or how the parent recognized the number!)
➢ Police say a funeral in Germany ended on a high note when mourners were accidentally served cake laced with hash. Rostock police say that after burial, the funeral party went to a restaurant for coffee and cake, as is the custom in Germany. But after eating the cake, 13 people experienced nausea and dizziness and needed medical treatment. It was determined that the restaurant employee in charge of the cakes had asked her 18-year-old daughter to bake them. However, the mother accidentally took the wrong cake from the freezer. The 18-year-old is under investigation. (Wow, that WAS a funeral ‘party’!)
-HouseBeautiful, NYPost, AP

BS CHRONOMETER 11.01.19

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1949 [70] David Foster, Victoria BC, music producer noted for discovering Céline Dion, Josh Groban, and Michael Bublé/16 Grammy Awards/married to 35-year-old Katharine McPhee (American Idol)

1960 [59] Tim Cook, Mobile AL, business executive, CEO of Apple, Inc since 2011 (highest-paid CEO in the world in 2012, with a compensation package totaling $378 million)/Financial Times Person of the Year, 2014

1962 [57] Anthony Kiedis, Grand Rapids MI, rock singer (Red Hot Chili Peppers-‘Give it Away’, ‘Under the Bridge’)

1963 [56] ‘Big’ Kenny (Alphin), Culpeper VA, country singer (Big & Rich-‘Lost In This Moment’, ‘Save a Horse [Ride a Cowboy]’)

1972 [47] Toni Collette, Sydney, Australia, TV actress (“United States of Tara” 2009-11)/movie actress (“Little Miss Sunshine”, “Muriel’s Wedding”)

1972 [47] Jenny McCarthy, Chicago IL, TV personality (“The View” 2013, “Love in the Wild” 2012)/model (“Playboy” cover multiple times)/movie actress (“John Tucker Must Die”, “Santa Baby”)

1984 [35] Natalia Tena, London UK, TV actress (‘Osha’ on “Game of Thrones” 2011-16)/movie actress (“Harry Potter” films)

1986 [33] Penn Badgley, Baltimore MD, TV actor (“Gossip Girl” 2007-2012, “You” since 2018)

SATURDAY- Carter Beauford (Dave Matthews Band) is 62; k.d. lang (‘Constant Craving’) is 58; David Schwimmer (“Friends”) is 53; Marisol Nichols (“Riverdale”) is 46; Nelly (‘Hot in Herre’) is 45

SUNDAY- Roseanne Barr (“Roseanne”) is 67; Dolph Lundgren (“Rocky IV”) is 62; NFL Quarterback Colin Kaepernick is 32; Activist Elizabeth Smart is 32; Kendall Jenner (“Keeping Up With the Kardashians”) is 24

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Movember” begins today, the annual event involving the growing of moustaches during the month of November to raise awareness of men’s health issues, such as prostate cancer, testicular cancer, and men’s suicide.  The idea began in a Melbourne, Australia bar in 2003 when 2 guys challenged their friends to join them in growing ’staches for charity. NET: www.Movember.com

• “All Hallows” or “All Saints’ Day” (begun in 835 AD), a Roman Catholic ‘Holy Day of Obligation’ (aren’t they all?). It’s a public holiday in the Philippines, when families gather to honor the dead.

• “Authors Day”, a day to celebrate literature in all its forms and to show your appreciation for the incredibly hard work put in by the authors behind your favorite writings. (Thank you, Richard Scarry!)

• “Go Cook For Your Pets Day”, because it’s apparently not enough to house them, train them, exercise them, and clean up after them … now they need haute cuisine!

• “World Vegan Day”, an international focal point for celebrating veganism, a term invented by Donald Watson in 1944. True vegans do not eat meat, fish, dairy products, or eggs; nor do they use any products derived from animals, such as fur or leather.

• “National Vinegar Day”, this common household product brightens many salads, is used in canning, and can shine up a window, too! There are many varieties of vinegar, including: Apple cider * Balsamic * Beer * Cane * Coconut * Date * Distilled vinegar * East Asian black * Flavored vinegar * Fruit * Honey * Job’s tears * Kiwifruit * Kombucha * Malt * Palm * Raisin* Rice * Spirit vinegar * Sherry vinegar * White * Wine *

SATURDAY-
• “All Souls’ Day”, the excuse for an annual “Kite Festival” in Santiago, Guatemala, when natives send massive, extremely colorful kites up to the heavens in an effort to communicate with the dead. In Mexico, it’s the 2nd day of the “Day of the Dead” (‘El Dia de los Muertos’) celebration.
• “Deviled Egg Day”, saluting the dish that entails hard-boiled eggs cut in half and filled with the egg’s yolk mixed with mayonnaise & mustard.
• “Plan Your Epitaph Day”, dedicated to the proposition that a forgettable gravestone is a fate worse than death. Some actual tombstone epitaphs:
☞ “I was hoping for a pyramid.”
☞ “Pardon me for not getting up.”
☞ “Destined to be a woman with too many cats.”
☞ “Well, this sucks.”
☞ “I told you I was sick.”
• “Cookie Monster Day”, a celebration of the birthday of everyone’s favorite blue monster with a voracious appetite. Jim Henson created the original version of Cookie Monster for a General Foods commercial in 1966, and the beloved character appeared in the very first episode of “Sesame Street” in 1969. All together now: “C is for cookie…”
• “Practice Being Psychic Day”, I saw two psychics meet on the street yesterday. One said to the other “You are fine. How am I?”

SUNDAY-
• “Standard Time” returns officially at 2 am. Don’t forget to set your clocks back an hour (remember: ‘Spring forward, Fall back’). Hey, it’s a long weekend! (If you’re in Europe, you were supposed to do that last weekend…)
• “Sandwich Day”, celebrating the 1718 birth of John Montagu, 4th Earl of Sandwich. A compulsive gambler, he wanted something that could be eaten at gaming tables and earned immortality when he began eating beef between slices of toast in 1792. (Some say he stole the idea from a guest, the Earl of Shrewsbury. So, should we call it a peanut butter shrewsbury, a grilled cheese shrewsbury, a knuckle shrewsbury, etc.?) Here’s a listing of some truly odd sandwiches …
NET: http://bit.ly/sCip1r
• “Housewife Day”, recognizes the importance of stay-at-home wives and moms. Also referred to as “Retro” Housewife Day. These wonderful, caring creatures build and enrich strong family environments. They help to instill family values and good character. (Probably best not to call them that, though…)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1979 [40] Andrew Lloyd Webber & Tim Rice’s musical “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat” premieres

1997 [22] “Titanic,” directed by James Cameron, and starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet, premieres at the Tokyo International Film Festival (won 10 Academy Awards including ‘Best Picture’, 1998)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2005 [14] Black Sabbath is inducted into the UK Music Hall of Fame by Brian May of Queen (Ozzy Osbourne moons the crowd, feeling they aren’t rocking hard enough while the band plays ‘Paranoid’)

2012 [07] “Metal Hammer” magazine lists the ‘All-Time Top Rock & Heavy Metal Moustaches’ (Black Sabbath, except Ozzy; Frank Zappa of Mothers of Invention; Queen’s Freddie Mercury)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1993 [26] The Maastricht Treaty takes effect, formally establishing the ‘European Union’

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ If you are right-handed, you tend to chew on the right-hand side of the mouth and vice versa.
✓ Every year about 7 people are killed by sharp objects in the dishwasher.
✓ Just as some people talk in their sleep, sign language speakers have been know to sign in their sleep.
✓ CD’s were created to hold 74 minutes of music because that is the duration of Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony.
✓ The most money ever paid for a cow in an auction was $1.3 million.
✓ Barbie’s parents are named George and Margaret.
-UnnecessaryKnowledge

Best of BS . . .
BS BAD WAYS TO GREET PEOPLE:

• Tugging on their beard.
• Saying “Welcome to Target! I love you.”
• Telling them to pull your finger.
• Repeating everything they say.
• Butt sniffing.
• Telling them that they look tired.
• Saying “Will marry me?”
• Rolling your eyes & sighing heavily.
• Telling them how you’re REALLY doing when they ask.
• A swift kick to the nether-regions.
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018

BS ALTERNATIVES TO “MAN-COLD”:
• Him-fluenza
• Bro-chitis
• Whimpering Cough
• He-bola
• Man-demic Outbreak
• Dude-onic Plague
-HowtobeaDad

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Oh, no! Clocks go back on Sunday and I can’t remember where I bought mine…

BS PHONE STARTER:
What movie have you seen hundreds of times but still enjoy watching it?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  65% of women don’t trust their man to do THIS. What is it?
Answer:  Repair their car

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

 

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