The Bull Sheet

November 15, 2016

Tuesday, November 15, 2016 – Edition: #5851

Sheeters Always Prosper!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Today US Olympic sensation and gold medal-winner Simone Biles releases her autobiography “Courage to Soar”. Biles broke records after becoming the 1st woman to win 3 consecutive individual all-around golds at the World Gymnastics Championships, followed up with her stellar performance at the 2016 Summer Olympic Games in Rio, taking home 4 golds and 1 bronze medal.
– EW.com
★ Kanye West and Will Ferrell have reportedly been in contact to discuss ideas for a biopic about the rapper. It’s said that Kanye wants the project to be a rather than a rags-to-riches tale about his ascent in the music biz. And Kanye apparently doesn’t want a big-name actor portraying him on the bigscreen; instead he wants to star. He’s suggested for instance that he could play himself at age 13, sitting in his bedroom writing lyrics.
– DishNation.com
★ And a photo that both Taylor Swift and David Mueller, the Denver DJ accused of groping her, petitioned a judge to keep secret has been leaked by TMZ. The pic, ‘Exhibit 14’, is described as “extremely personal and sensitive in nature”. It shows Taylor standing close to Mueller’s girlfriend, while the right hand of Mueller is behind Swift but not visible. Dueling lawsuits date back to 2015, when the DJ sued Swift for lost wages after he was fired; Swift then countersued in October, alleging assault. See what you think …
NET: http://tinyurl.com/haov3lh
– Canoe.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “David Blaine: Beyond Magic” (ABC/CTV) – Debut of a new hour-long magic special in which illusionist Blaine is joined by celebrities David Beckham, Drake, Emma Stone, John Travolta, Johnny Depp, and Steph Curry.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Garth Brooks (“Gunslinger”, out November 25th).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Appleseed Cast (“Illumination Ritual”).
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/CTV) – Local Natives (“Sunlit Youth”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Against Me!’s Atom Willard.
• “Shooter” (USA/Bravo) – Ryan Phillippe stars in this new TV series based on the 2007 Mark Wahlberg movie of the same name. The debut date has been postponed a couple of times due to a string of tragic shootings in the United States.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Aminé (“Caroline”); classic rocker Robbie Robertson of The Band.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Rascal Flatts (“The Greatest Gift of All”).
• “The Voice” (NBC/CTV2) – The results of viewer voting; the bottom 2 singers compete for the ‘Instant Save’.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Aerosmith – They’ve announced details of their 2017 farewell tour, which will see them visit 15 countries in 3 months. The “Aero-vederci Baby!” tour is being billed as the band’s swan song, though they’re reluctant to say it will be their final live performances. The trek is scheduled to begin next May 17th in Tel Aviv, Israel.
• Against Me! – Today singer Laura Jane Grace releases the autobiography, “Tranny: Confessions of Punk Rock’s Most Infamous Anarchist Sellout”. The memoir chronicles her life in the punk scene and her eventually coming out as transgender in 2012.
• Bon Jovi – They’ve earned their 6th career #1 album with “This House Is Not for Sale” on today’s new ‘Billboard 200’ chart.
• Faith Hill – She’s flipping the traditional “Greatest Hits” tradition by releasing an album full of songs that were never singles. The 13-track collection “Deep Tracks”, due out Friday, also features 3 previously unreleased songs. Hill calls the collection her ‘favorites’. (BS translation: She has a commitment for 1 last album for her former label, Warner Bros.)
• Red Hot Chili Peppers – Their 2017 North American tour starts in San Antonio TX on January 5th and wraps March 18th in Vancouver BC. A 2nd leg begins in Washington DC on April 12th.

THIS WEEK’S VIDEO RELEASES:
Coming out on DVD, Netflix, Google Play and/or other video providers …
• “Cardboard Boxer” ( NR Drama ): Thomas Haden Church plays a good man living rough on the dangerous streets of LA’s Skid Row, who finds himself coerced by two rich teenagers into fighting other homeless men for cash. Co-stars Terrence Howard, Boyd Holbrook, Rhys Wakefield, Macy Gray.
• “Finding Dory” ( PG Animated Adventure ) – In the sequel to “Finding Nemo” (2003), ‘Dory’ (Ellen DeGeneres) goes in search of her family whom she had forgotten. Eventually the friendly-but-forgetful blue tang fish reunites with her loved ones and everyone learns a few things about the real meaning of family. Voice cast also includes Albert Brooks, Ed O’Neill.
• “Lovesick” ( Season 2 Debut ): This is a British comedy starring Johnny Flynn, Antonia Thomas, and Daniel Ings. The 1st season aired on Channel 4 in the UK under the title “Scrotal Recall”. Seems that was deemed a little too graphic when Netflix took things over and ordered an 8-episode sophomore campaign. It debuts this Thursday.
• Also being released: “Better Call Saul: Season 2” (TV); “Citizen Kane 75th Anniversary Edition” (1941 Re-release); “Game of Thrones: The Complete 6th Season” (TV); “Lo and Behold: Reveries Of the Connected World” (Documentary); “Looking: The Complete Series” (TV); “Space Jam” (20th Anniversary Re-release); “The Syndicate: All or Nothing” (UK TV);
“True New York” (Documentary Anthology); and “Wentworth, Season 1” (Aussie TV).

GOOD NATURED SWAB:
Sore throat sufferers in the UK are being encouraged to visit their pharmacist instead of their physician for an on-the-spot test to see if they need antibiotics. The walk-in service is aimed at reducing doctor appointments as well as the over-use of antibiotics. The ‘Sore Throat Test & Treat’ service, which has been on trial at 35 pharmacies, determines if an illness is caused by a virus – meaning drugs will not help – or a bacterial infection. Results from a throat swab, which measures sugars on the tongue, are provided in 5 minutes. Patients who can be helped by antibiotics are then prescribed them by the pharmacist. It’s hoped the initiative could result in fewer visits to doctors, potentially saving the National Health Service millions per year. (Smart! We need this here!)
– Sky.com

STRESSING GENDER:
Teenage boys and girls respond to severe stress in different ways deep inside their brains, a new Stanford University study suggests. A part of the brain linked to emotions and empathy, called the insula, or insular cortex, has been found to be particularly small in girls who have suffered trauma. But in traumatized boys, the insula is larger than usual. This could explain why girls are more likely than boys to develop Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. The findings suggest that boys and girls could display contrasting symptoms after a particularly distressing or frightening event, and should be treated differently as a result. (Does this have anything to do with why guys take girls to scary movies?)
– BBC Health

THINGS IN YOUR HOUSE THAT ARE BUMMING YOU OUT:
Your home decor might be bringing you down and you may not even realize it. For instance …
✗ Family Heirlooms – They clutter up the house and take away space. We only keep them because we’d feel guilty giving them away.
✗ Heavy Drapes – Light and airy drapes create a similar feeling in people, while heavy drapes can be suffocating, says a holistic design expert. Plus, they get dusty fast.
✗ Childhood Mementos – We often end up holding on to too many of these old memories, which can be an emotional drag.
✗ Old Books – Keep only those you really love, and let go of the rest, says an expert. The more you keep, the more emotionally draining it is to eventually go through them.
✗ Hobby Supplies – Materials for that hobby that you never really got into. We keep these as a form of guilt.
✗ Broken Items – You plan to fix them someday, but someday never comes. A feng shui expert says you’d be happier if you just threw them away.
✗ Old Collections – Sure, you put a lot of time into them but you’re not into them anymore. Save one piece that represents the whole collection and get rid of the rest, says a psychiatrist.
– “Houston Chronicle”

NO-COST BOOST:
Need an instant boost of good cheer? The best way to get a shot of feel-good is to cuddle with someone you love. A recent London School of Economics study shows that intimate moments with a cherished person or a favorite pet trigger a 14% rise in happiness … more than any other activity. Other effective no-cost mood-lifters? Spending time with friends, gardening, and singing. (Not so good mood-lifters: staff meetings, dental appointments, finding out someone swiped the last beer in the fridge.)
– PA News

BS AMAZING INTERNATIONAL FACTS:
• Drivers in China who dazzle other road users with full-beam headlights are made to stare into the lights for a minute as punishment.
– BBC News
• School textbooks in Turkey must not contain geometry puzzles featuring the letters ‘F’ and ‘G’, because they are the initials of the out-of-favor cleric Fethullah Gulen.
– “The Economist”
• There were 14,570 people over age 100 in the UK last year, up fourfold from 3 decades ago.
– Office for National Statistics

BS CHRONOMETER 11.15.16

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1970 [46] Jack Ingram, Houston TX, country singer (“Barefoot & Crazy”, “Wherever You Are”)

1974 [42] Chad Kroeger, Hanna AB, much-vilified rock singer (Nickelback-“Rockstar”, “How You Remind Me”)/singer Avril Lavigne’s off-and-on husband

1974 [42] Jesse Sandoval, Albuquerque NM, indie rock drummer (The Shins-“Simple Song”, “Phantom Limb”)

1977 [39] Sean Murray, Bethesda MD, TV actor (‘Special Agent Timothy McGee’ on “NCIS” since 2003)

1988 [28] BoB (Bobby Ray Simmons Jr), Winston-Salem NC, rapper-songwriter-producer (f/Hayley Williams-“Airplanes”, f/Bruno Mars-“Nothin’ on You”)

1991 [25] Shailene Woodley, San Bernardino CA, movie actress (“The Fault in Our Stars”, “The Divergent Series”)/TV actress (“The Secret Life Of the American Teenager” 2008-13)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Bundt Day”, celebrating the cake of that name that’s baked in a special mold. It was first popularized in the 1950s and ’60s. Time to get out that ‘Bundt pan’ you never use so you can justify stowing it for another year.

• “Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day”. Just what is that lurking in the back? Don’t open it, the odor may kill you! Hold your breath, scrunch your nose, and get to the task. Who wins the prize for the worst refrigerator surprises? Most often, it’s workplace refrigerators.

• “George Spelvin Day” (female variation ‘Georgette’), commemorating the 1886 invention of the fictitious name used on Broadway for actors who have a 2nd role in a play. The name has appeared in over 10,000 Broadway programs. ‘Walter Plinge’ is similarly used in the UK.

• “Pack Your Mom’s Lunch Day”, when kids with a mother who’s gone back-to-school are encouraged to honor her efforts by making her lunch.

• “Philanthropy Day”, set aside to recognize the great contributions people in the philanthropic community make to our lives, our communities, and our world. Arguably, Bill Gates is at the forefront these days.

• “Record Your Cat Purring Day”, so you can play the recording every year on her birthday … after she’s gone. (What sort of masochist thought this one up?)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2002 [14] “Harry Potter & The Chamber of Secrets” opens in movie theaters ($879 million in worldwide box office)

2006 [10] ‘Al Jazeera English’ news service launches worldwide

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2007 [09] Kenneth Donnell of Glasgow, Scotland pays $122,000 for 2 tickets to Led Zeppelin’s one-off reunion at London’s O2 Arena (the charity-auction purchase includes admission to the legendary band’s rehearsal)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
2005 [11] 1st person to undergo a ‘Partial Face Transplant’, in Amiens, France (Isabelle Dinoire had been attacked by a dog earlier in the year)

2012 [04] Xi Jinping becomes General Secretary of the Communist Party of China (he’s also President of the People’s Republic of China and Chairman of the Central Military Commission)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2007 [09] Guinness World Record set for ‘Longest Piano Recital’ as Pat Jones of Jacksonville FL tickles the ivories for 65 consecutive hours

COMING UP . . .
[Wed] International Day for Tolerance
[Thurs] Latin Grammy Awards (Las Vegas NV)
[Thurs] Homemade Bread Day
[Thurs] Unfriend Day
[Fri] “Bleed for This”; “The Edge of Seventeen”; “Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find Them” open in movie theaters
This Week Is … Global Entrepreneurship Week
This Month Is … Long-Term Care Awareness Month

BULL’S BITS

TRUTHFUL JOB REQUIREMENTS FOR THE FRONT DESK ASSOCIATE POSITION:
• The right candidate must be well dressed and attractive, but not in a ‘threatening’ way.
• A winning smile, the kind of smile that doesn’t die, even a little bit, even if she hasn’t found a reason to genuinely smile since she walked in this morning.
• The patience of Mother Theresa when paper gets jammed for the hundredth time in the crap printer that cost 2-grand.
• The right candidate is strongly encouraged to attend every charity walk, company picnic, company Happy Hour, and ice cream social with a big fat smile. Even on weekends.
• Will find fulfillment in her everyday tasks and will, in general, be the kind of person who doesn’t aspire to more in life apart from what she already has.
• Will not complain to others about how she cannot afford to pay her bills.
• The right candidate will remain beneath a very thick and formidable glass ceiling.
• Must wear high heels at all times, even if it leads to discomfort or injury.
• The right candidate will not get pregnant.
• The right candidate will not, ever, under any circumstances, cry.
– Thanks to Elizabeth Green

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ There are 10 countries where McDonald’s is not welcome. Try to name 3. (Barbados, Bermuda, Bolivia, Ghana, Iceland, Iran, Jamaica, Macedonia, Montenegro, North Korea.)

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
What congregates at a particular spot halfway between Mexico and Hawaii every Winter?
a. Abnormally hot water.
b. Great White Sharks [CORRECT. They swim for 30-to-40 days to get there. No-one knows why.]
c. Disposable Plastic Bags.
– Slate.com

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Boycott shampoo … demand the real poo!

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Half of singles admit to doing THIS prior to going on a date.
Answer: Googling the other person.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
It takes two to lie; one to lie and one to listen.

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