Wednesday, November 24, 2010                 Edition: #4393
Here’s Sheet in Your Eye!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
21-year-old Chord Overstreet, who plays ‘Sam Evans’ on “Glee” (FOX), is the son of country singer/songwriter Paul Overstreet, who penned “She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy”, “Love Can Build a Bridge”, and oodles more (now you know how the kid got his unusual name) . . . 43-year-old actress Nicole Kidman (Mrs Keith Urban) has put her 3-bedroom West Village apartment up for rent in NYC, featuring a grand piano, Boffi soaking tub, and floor-to-ceiling windows, for $45,000 – per month (ouch!) . . . 29-year-old hottie actress Jessica Alba says on her website that one reason some of her movies have underperformed at the box office is – ‘first-time directors’ (nope, too many clothes!) . . . Disgraced TV actor Charlie Sheen is firing back at Capri Anderson, the ‘actress/model’ who’s filed a criminal complaint against him over that infamous Plaza Hotel incident, by suing her for extortion (dude, you so need to let this go and lie low for 6 months) . . . Paris Hilton, who’s doing her community service in LA this week, has been painting over graffiti while wearing – uber-expensive Louboutin high-heels (which now have white polka dots all over them) . . . Word has it model/chef/pretty boy Gabriel Aubry has downgraded from Halle Berry (his ex) to Kim Kardashian (his next?) . . . And 35-year-old actress-turned-director Angelina Jolie has revealed she’s shot both an English and a Serbian version of her as-yet-untitled directorial debut and is toying with releasing the film in black & white, although she doesn’t want the flick to be ‘too heavy’ (uh, it’s about the Bosnian war – what is it, a musical comedy?).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Chelsea Lately” (E!) – Taylor Swift (“Speak Now”).
• “Colbert Report” (Comedy Central/CTV) – John Legend (“Wake Up!”).
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Neon Trees (“Habits”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Metric (“Fantasies”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – City & Colour (“Bring Me Your Love”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – NERD (“Nothing”).
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Elton John & Leon Russell (“The Union”).
• “Today Show” (NBC) – Kings Of Leon (“Come Around Sundown”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Robyn (“Body Talk “).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Drake – He’s on the cover of GQ magazine’s ‘Men Of the Year’ issue. Inside he reveals his  next album, “Take Care”, will be released in the Spring.
• Jay-Z – He tells “Guardian Weekend” that he shot his crack addict older brother for stealing a ring from him when he was just 12. Fortunately his sibling Eric survived, decided not to press charges, and eventually apologized for the theft.
• Keith Urban – He’ll perform at halftime on FOX-TV’s Thanksgiving Day football game as the Dallas Cowboys host the New Orleans Saints.
• Kid Rock – He’ll perform “Born Free” at the “2010 United Way Thanksgiving Halftime Show” tomorrow, when the New England Patriots play the Detroit Lions in Motown’s Ford Field.
• Secret Sisters – Throwback roots music singers Laura & Lydia Rogers (24 & 22) grew up outside Muscle Shoals AL. They’ve suddenly become cool, thanks to the help of producer T Bone Burnett who started his own record label in order to release their self-titled debut album.
• Snoop Dogg – He’s rumored to be playing Prince William & Kate Middleton’s engagement party. (Fo Shizzle? Can he even get into Britain anymore?)
• Trace Adkins – He’s revealed he refuses to cut his hair as a tribute to the men of the Confederacy who fought to defend the concept of individual US states’ rights. (Well that and the 30-dollar charge.)

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Burlesque” ( PG-13 Musical Romantic Comedy ): Christina Aguilera plays a small-town girl who ventures to Los Angeles and finds her place in a neo-burlesque nightclub run by a former dancer, played by Cher. Co-stars Eric Dane (“Grey’s Anatomy”); singer/dancer Julianne Hough; Alan Cumming (“The Good Wife”); and Kristen Bell (“Forgetting Sarah Marshall”).
NET: http://www.burlesquethemovie.com
• “Faster” ( R-Rated Crime Thriller ): Dwayne Johnson plays an ex-con who sets out to avenge his brother’s death after they were double-crossed during a heist. Billy Bob Thornton plays the veteran cop who’s on his tail. Can ‘The Rock’ successfully return to action films after doing the likes of “Tooth Fairy”, “Race to Witch Mountain”,  “Get Smart”, etc?
NET: http://www.fasterthemovie.com
• “Love & Other Drugs” ( R-Rated Romantic Comedy ): Jake Gyllenhaal & Anne Hathaway star in this satire about a charming pharmaceutical sales rep and his odd relationship with the free-spirited young woman he falls for. Based on Jamie Reidy’s memoir “Hard Sell: The Evolution Of a Viagra Salesman.”
NET: http://www.loveandotherdrugsthemovie.com
• “Tangled” ( PG Disney Animation ): Mandy Moore & Zachary Levi voice the characters of ‘Rapunzel’, a princess with 70 feet of magical, golden hair, who’s been locked away for years in a tower; and ‘Flynn Ryder’ the handsome bandit who causes her to venture into the outside world for the first time. Based on the Grimm Brothers fairytale.
NET: http://adisney.go.com/disneypictures/tangled/#/home/

BS CUTTING-EDGE VOCAB:
New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Googlenope’ – A term invented by “Washington Post” columnist Gene Weingarten to describe a phrase that returns absolutely no results when Googled. One of the first googlenopes he discovered was “Laura Bush’s secret tattoo”. Other phrases likely to be googlenopes and turn up zilch when searched? How about …
– “Jessica Simpson’s exceptional talent”
– “Prettiest teeth in Britain”
– “Megan Fox’s Academy Award”
– “Sexy blond Albanian fishmongers”
– “Conquering your tofu cravings”
• ‘OW’ – Acronym for ‘Other Woman’; also known as ‘GF’ (Girlfriend); home-wrecker; hussy; strumpet; or harlot, according to FirstWivesWorld.com. (“My husband is about to become a was-band thanks to that OW who keeps texting him!”)
• ‘Toasted Skin Syndrome’ – A skin rash caused by lengthy exposure to a heat source, such as a laptop computer balanced on the thighs for an extended period. (“Don’t worry hon’, it’s not contagious and it’s not an STD … it’s just Toasted Skin Syndrome. Honest!”)

NEW BS GIZMOS & GADGETS:
• Scientists at the Fraunhofer Research Institution in Munich, Germany have embedded pH sensitive dyes in bandages to create the ‘Color Control Strip’. The dressings change color when they come into contact with fluids that indicate a wound is infected. (It’s dark red all over … is that bad?)
– Gizmag.com
• When bats used in Major League Baseball games get cracked or otherwise rendered unusable, they aren’t just chucked in the garbage. Oh no! They’re made into souvenirs such as the new hi-tech wood-handled bottle openers. Each has a unique hologram number that lets you look up which game the bat was used in. (How come my bottle opener has cork handles?)
– CoolMaterial.com
• One of the latest projects from gadget developer Kipkay is a slingshot with a laser sighting system. The inventor used a 6-mm laser diode powered by 2 AA batteries to make a heavy duty, high-powered, laser guided slingshot. (Look out, Goliaths!)
NET: http://kipkay.com
– Neatorama.com

ECONOMIC FORECASTER:
You don’t need a spreadsheet to get a handle on how this year’s holiday shopping season is going, just keep an eye on sales of … pushup bras. Retail analyst John Morris says that brisk sales of ‘Miraculous’ bras at Victoria’s Secret could be a good indicator of 2 important economic trends: If women buy high-priced bras, they’re probably willing to buy other things for themselves, too; and strong sales of lingerie would also suggest that shoppers are willing to indulge. (So … there’s a pair of pointers.)
– AP

TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
• The Scottish Tartans Authority has decreed that refusing to put on underwear beneath a kilt is ‘childish and unhygienic’. It also warns that ‘going commando’ flies in the face of decency. STA director Brian Wilton says kilt wearers should have the common sense to realize they should wear underwear beneath their country’s national dress; it’s simply good etiquette. (BS translation: Cover your caber!)
– Telegraph.co.uk
• Inspired by the many missing pet posters posted on poles, NYC pop artist Camomile Hixon has decided to hang one of her own, requesting help finding her … missing unicorn. Actually, friends helped her post some 2,000 of them. Surprisingly, Hixon received 350 phone calls in the first day. She’s gone on to install a hotline and a website to report sightings. (Um, this is NYC … someone’s going to saw a horn off a yak and try to claim the reward.)
– “Fortean Times”
• This week a 60-year-old man charged with committing an indecent act has been acquitted in Orillia, Ontario. His alleged crime? Hiking naked. The unnamed naturalist says he frequents a recreational trail on the shores of Lake Simcoe naked because its ‘like total freedom’. The court has dismissed the charge, ruling he didn’t do anything harmful. (What about displaying antique junk without a permit?)
– QMI Agency

THE ORIGINAL ROCK TUNE?
Joseph Burns, a rock historian at Southeastern Louisiana University, contends that “That’s All Right Mama” by Arthur ‘Big Boy’ Crudup was the first rock & roll song. It came out in September 1946 as a rockabilly piece with a blues melody line over top. Burns says it qualifies as first because it’s sung with power, may contain the first guitar solo break, and as a remake became one of Elvis Presley’s first singles. Burns say these elements qualify a song as ‘rock & roll’ …
• It’s music that draws heavily from blues and country in a form that’s often danceable.
• There should be hints of jazz, gospel, or folk influence.
• There should also be some technology influence.
– Discovery.com

THE SIBERIA DOME:
A Russian architectural firm called Ab Ellis has unveiled its proposal to turn an old diamond mine in Siberia into a huge domed city that stretches 1,700 feet below ground. ‘Eco-City 2020’ could house upwards of 100,000 people and be powered by solar cells on the city roof. The ambitious proposal is aimed at creating something useful from what is now nothing more than the world’s second-largest hole. (The largest being Gene Simmons’ mouth.)
NET: http://www.el-ab.ru/comp/comp1.php?lang=en
– Dvice.com

DID YOU KNOW?
• The average person visits the toilet 6-to-8 times a day, about 2,500 times a year, or about 3 years of a lifetime.
– World Health Organization
• Number of Americans who are millionaires? 1%. Members of US Congress who are millionaires? 49%.
– PopBitch.com

BS CHRONOMETER 11.24.10

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1968 [42] Scott Krinsky, Washington DC, TV actor (‘Jeff Barnes’ on “Chuck” since 2007, “The OC” 2003-07)

1970 [40] Chad Taylor, Baltimore MD, alt-rock guitarist (Live-“Heaven”, “Lightning Crashes”)

1977 [33] Colin Hanks, Sacramento CA, movie actor (“W”, “King Kong”)/TV actor (“Band of Brothers”)/son of actor Tom Hanks

1978 [32] Katherine Heigl, Washington DC, movie actress (“Knocked Up”, “27 Dresses”)/TV actress (‘Dr Izzie Stevens’ on “Grey’s Anatomy” 2005-10)

1990 [20] Sarah Hyland, NYC, TV actress (‘Haley Dunphy’ on “Modern Family” since 2009, “Lipstick Jungle” 2008-09)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Celebrate Your Unique Talent Day”, saluting the individual abilities each of us has. Okay, so what is it that you can do that no one else can? Whistle through your nose? Play both armpits simultaneously? Recite the alphabet backwards? Talk out of both sides of your mouth at the same time?

• “National Clean the Oven If Your Mother Is Coming For Thanksgiving Day”. Once a year couldn’t hurt, no?

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1999 [11] “Toy Story 2” opens in movie theaters (5-day gross of over $80 million smashes Thanksgiving opening record)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1991 [19] The charismatic lead singer of the rock group Queen, Freddie Mercury, dies in his sleep at age 45, just one day after publicly announcing he was suffering from AIDS

1998 [12] Cher’s music career is revived as the mega-hit single “Believe” is released (one of the first hits to make use of Auto-Tune)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1954 [56] US presidential plane is christened “Air Force One”

2001 [09] A team of scientists in Worcester MA confirms the successful cloning of 24 cows

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] Thanksgiving Day (USA)
[Thurs] “Taylor Swift – Speak Now” (NBC)
[Fri] Black Friday
[Fri] Buy Nothing Day
[Fri] Shopping Reminder Day
[Sun] 2010 Grey Cup (Edmonton)
This Week Is … Better Conversation Week
This Month Is … Home Care & Hospice Month

BULL’S BITS

BS SIGNS YOUR FAMILY MAY BE DYSFUNCTIONAL:
• Family discussions usually begin with, “Put the gun down.”
• Your mother and your pre-teen sister are always fighting over the last beer.
• You’re 42, but your dad still makes you watch the parade on his shoulders.
• All of mom’s recipes involve 3 parts gin and 1 part tonic.
• Breaking the turkey wishbone usually involves a trip to the hospital
• Instead of spouses, each family member brings an attorney to get-togethers.
• Local cops save money by making your house a precinct station.
• The bikers next door are always complaining about the noise.
• No more sunny breakfast nook now that the kitchen is a meth lab.
• Your vacations are planned through AA instead of AAA.
• Your step-mom’s named Camilla.

BS RANDOM JOKE:
For 3 days after you die, your hair and fingernails continue to grow … but your phone calls taper off.

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
When Frenchman Andrew-Jacques Garnerin became the first parachutist in 1797 in Paris, he also accomplished another world first. Was it …
a. The first parachutist to land on his head?
b. The first person to break a leg while parachuting?
c. The first person to throw-up while parachuting? [CORRECT. He was first to suffer from airsickness while skydiving.]

BS PHONE STARTER:
On what date is it okay to put up Christmas decorations on your house?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: We consume almost twice as much of THIS between Thanksgiving and Christmas compared to other times of the year.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Butter. (Dairy Council)

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Bad decisions make good stories.