The Bull Sheet

November 5, 2014

Wednesday, November 5, 2014        Edition: #5332

Never Accept a Generic – Ask For Pure “BS”!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ A sequel TV miniseries to Stanley Kubrick’s landmark 1968 movie “2001: A Space Odyssey” is in the works, and renowned filmmaker Ridley Scott (“Alien”) is on board as executive producer. The new series, “3001: The Final Odyssey”, will be based on classic sci-fi author Arthur C Clarke’s novel of the same name and will reportedly air sometime in 2015. The series will most likely follow astronaut ‘Frank Poole’ who, after being thrown into deep space by ‘HAL-9000’ in the original film, is reawakened 1,000 years into Earth’s future.
– SlashFilm.com
★ The Aaron Sorkin-scripted ‘Steve Jobs’ bio-pic has had a tumultuous casting process, and it’s just hit another speed bump: Christian Bale has opted not to play the lead role as he’s decided he’s not right for the part, despite previous reports suggesting he was all but locked into the movie. Danny Boyle (“Slumdog Millionaire”) is still aboard to direct the film, which was on track to shoot this Winter. At this point that sounds like wishful thinking, as they’ll need to find a new star to play Jobs.
– “Hollywood Reporter”
★ Oscar-winning actor Tom Hanks is set to publish a series of short stories inspired by his passion for collecting vintage typewriters. Hanks, who’s already developed a typewriter app for iPhone, says the stories are not about his typewriters, but rather, something that might have been written on them. Quote: “Everything you type on a typewriter sounds grand, the words forming in mini-explosions of ‘shook shook shook’.” Publisher Alfred A Knopf will publish the book, which will also include photographs.
– ContactMusic.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “CMA Awards” (ABC): The 48th annual, live from Nashville TN. Brad Paisley & Carrie Underwood host for the 7th time. Miranda Lambert tops nominations with 9; including ‘Entertainer Of the Year’, for which she takes on husband Blake Shelton as well as George Strait, Keith Urban, and Luke Bryan. Performers include The Band Perry, Blake Shelton, Cole Swindell, George Strait (record 24th career CMA performance), Keith Urban, Lady Antebellum, Little Big Town (w/Ariana Grande), Luke Bryan, and Miranda Lambert (w/Meghan Trainor).
NET: http://www.cmaworld.com/cma-awards/
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Bleachers (“Strange Desire”).
• “Duck Dynasty Marathon” (A&E): ‘Honey Boo Boo’ may be gone but you can still get your hillbilly on with 5 consecutive back-to-back “DD” episodes, including “Aloha, Robertsons!” in which the duck hunting family heads to Hawaii, presumably seeking more exotic birds.
• “Good Morning America” (ABC) – Keith Urban & Miranda Lambert appear to hype tonight’s “CMA Awards” broadcast. Urban performs live.
• “Interstellar” (PG-13 Sci-Fi Adventure): A sneak peak of Christopher Nolan’s big-budget sci-fi film screens at select theaters in IMAX, 70 mm, and 35 mm. The much-hyped $165-million epic opens wide on Friday. Stars Matthew McConaughey. Anne Hathaway, Jessica Chastain.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Florida Georgia Line (“Anything Goes”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – The Acid (“Liminal”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Kimbra (“The Golden Echo”).
• “Queen Latifah” (syndicated) – Gladys Knight (“Before Me”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Bette Midler (“It’s The Girls”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Stevie Wonder (“Songs In the Key of Life” tour, starting tomorrow).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Beyoncé – Rumors of a new release have proven true as the “Beyoncé Platinum Edition Box Set” has been announced for November 24th, a 2 CD/2 DVD limited edition package that includes the original self-titled album, new songs, and remixes. The special edition box set also features a live performance DVD that chronicles the year-long “Mrs Carter Show World Tour”.
• Billy Idol – Tonight the 59-year-old classic rocker (“Kings & Queens Of the Underground”) kicks off a UK tour at the O2 Academy in Birmingham. He’ll also perform in London and Manchester in his first UK appearances since his performance at Download Festival 2010.
• Iggy Azalea / Rita Ora – The “Black Widow” collaborators have reportedly turned down $100,000 apiece to play 2 shows at Planet Hollywood in Las Vegas. Get it while you can, girls.
• KISS – Tonight they begin the 9-show residency, “Kiss Rocks Vegas”, at The Joint in Sin City’s Hard Rock Hotel & Casino. The multi-show sked begins just a day after the conclusion of ‘Kiss Kruise IV’, the band’s 5-day Bahamian cruise.
• Pink Floyd – “The Endless River” (out Friday) is the band’s 1st new release since 1994’s “The Division Bell”. It’s already become the most pre-ordered album of all-time on Amazon.co.uk.
• Taylor Swift – Every one of her songs has been removed from Spotify, even though her music features on 19 million Spotify playlists. The streaming service is pleading with her to come back and her fans have launched a petition urging her return. What’s this all about? Money.
• TI / Young Jeezy – They’ve previously worked together on songs like “FAME” and “Addicted”, and now they’re teaming up to record a collaborative album. TI tells MTV.com they’ve already completed a string of tracks.

BS BUZZWORDS:
New terms leaking into our lingo …
• ‘High-Frequency Trading’ – A type of stock market trading that uses very complex technology to trade extremely quickly, often making tiny profits which nevertheless can add up to substantial sums.
• ‘JOMO’ (Joy Of Missing Out) – The pleasure derived from no longer worrying or caring about missing out on what other people are doing or saying. ‘JOMO’ is said to be a social detox whereby you fully engage in your own life rather than constantly interrupting it to eavesdrop on others.
• ‘Renovacation’ (Renovation + Vacation) – A home equity strategy which often pays off in big dividends is to use some of that built-up vacation time to spend a week or so getting home improvement and update projects done. The key is to work on projects that will take longer than a day but less than a week to complete.

NORTH KOREAN VACATION, ANYONE?
According to travel industry stats, the number of tourists visiting North Korea has increased by tenfold in the last 10 years. And that trend may continue as an agency that specializes in trips to the secret totalitarian state has set up an exhibit entitled ‘Experience North Korea’ at a UK travel show in London. The company’s CEO claims what makes travel to North Korea special is that it’s not a regular destination. He says there are many misconceptions about the country, but in reality it’s safe and easy to visit. Tourism Development expert Jeff Jarvis from Australia’s Monash University says, “This is a baby step in the right direction that could lead to better relations with the rest of the world.” (Can’t wait to get a souvenir Kim Jong-un bobblehead! Oh … that’s just his regular head?)
– Sky News

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 75% of women are put off exercise for fear of what others might think of their appearance.
• 54% of men say they’ve experienced ‘love at first sight’, as opposed to 44% of women.
• 23% of online daters have ended up marrying the partner they met through a dating site.
• 20% of women say wearing a ‘little black dress’ makes them feel more confident.
• 11% of adults admit they really like the taste of envelope glue.
• 9% of parents with schoolkids worry about not being able to help with homework because they won’t understand it.

ASPARAGUS AROMA:
Everyone’s pee stinks after eating asparagus. That’s the bottom line, according to Boston University biology professor Ian Davison. While the digestive process is fairly constant from person-to-person, an individual’s ability to detect odors varies. So, contrary to popular myth (much discussed online), there’s no genetic trait which dictates whether your urine offers a delayed-action scent from consuming asparagus. Everyone’s urine reeks of the volatile compounds which create ‘asparagus pee’. The difference is actually in whether or not you can smell it. Around 50% of people happen to have a mutation in a gene that allows them to scent it. Those who don’t can’t smell the compounds at all and wee away in blissful ignorance, unaware that their pee absolutely hums of asparagus. (Aren’t you glad we cleared this up?)
– HuffingtonPost.com

BEST SMARTPHONES YOU CAN BUY:
According to one ranking, these are the best phones currently available …
5. ‘Moto X’ – Motorola’s new model, which launched in September, is said to be a strong contender for best Android phone. Price: Around $500.
4. ‘HTC One (M8)’ – Features a gorgeous design and high-quality metal construction. Also has an extra rear camera that acts as a depth sensor. Price: Around $540.
3. ‘Galaxy Note 4’ – The best phone the company has ever made, with an incredibly crisp 5.7-inch screen, the best display ever used on a smartphone. Price: About $750.
2. ‘iPhone 6 Plus’ – If you want a ‘phablet’ (phone-tablet hybrid), this is the best there is. Unlike competitors, it doesn’t feel like you’re lugging around a giant phone. Price: Starts at $749.
1. ‘iPhone 6’ – Simply the best smartphone, thanks to the perfect mix of design, hardware specs, and app selection. Price: Starts at $649.
This list could change quickly: Google’s new ‘Nexus 6’ phone launches later this month, with a redesigned version of Android called ‘Lollipop’; and Samsung’s ‘Note Edge’ with a curved screen and a secondary ‘edge screen’ will likely be available in limited release soon.
– BusinessInsider.com

HALL OF FAME WORTHY?
Picking new inductees for the Toy Hall of Fame is far from child’s play. A committee of historians, educators, and curators has been tasked with selecting 2 classic toys from a list of 12 finalists to be added to The Strong’s National Toy Hall of Fame in Rochester NY. Which iconic plaything do you think should be inducted? This year’s nominees …
✓ “American Girl” dolls
✓ Bubbles (as in blowing)
✓ “Fisher-Price Little People”
✓ “Hess Trucks”,
✓ little green army men (plastic figurines)
✓ “My Little Pony”
✓ “Operation” (board game)
✓ paper airplanes
✓ pots & pans (out of the kitchen cupboard)
✓ “Rubik’s Cube”
✓ “Slip’N Slide”
✓ “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”
The winners will be announced tomorrow. Previous inductees include “Hot Wheels” (2011), “Play-Doh” (1998), rubber duck (2013), and “Easy-Bake Oven” (2006).
– Condensed from “New York Daily News”

BS AMAZING FACT:
Gladiators in the 2nd century consumed an ‘energy drink’, made from vinegar and ash.
– “Discovery Magazine”

BS CHRONOMETER 11.05.14


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1959 [55] Bryan Adams, Kingston ON, oldies singer (“[Everything I Do] I Do It For You”, “Cuts Like a Knife”)/professional photographer (“Exposed”)

1960 [54] Tilda Swinton, London UK, movie actress (“Burn After Reading”, “Michael Clayton”)

1961 [53] David Bryson, San Francisco CA, alt-rock guitarist (Counting Crows-“Accidentally in Love”, “Mr Jones”)

1971 [43] Jonny Greenwood, Oxford UK, rock guitarist-keyboardist (Radiohead-“Bodysnatchers”, “Creep”)

1974 [40] Ryan Adams, Jacksonville NC, alt-country/rock singer-songwriter-guitarist (“So Alive”, “New York, New York”)/wed to singer-actress Mandy Moore (2009)

1987 [27] Kevin Jonas, Teaneck NJ, former boy-band singer (Jonas Brothers-“Tonight”, “Burnin’ Up”)

BS REASON TO PARTY . . .
• “Guy Fawkes Day” in England, a traditional celebration since 1752 (also celebrated in New Zealand and the Canadian province of Newfoundland & Labrador). It commemorates the 1605 ‘Gunpowder Plot’ when Fawkes-led Catholics attempted to blow up the Parliament Buildings. One of the day’s traditions gives it its nickname … ‘Bonfire Night’.

• “Take Our Kids to Work Day”, when more than 200,000 Canadian students spend the day at the workplace of a parent, relative, or friend. Initiated by The Learning Partnership.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/oxslysk

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2007 [07] TV, film, and radio writers who are members of the Writers Guild of America go on strike after negotiations break down with the Alliance of Motion Picture & Television Producers (shuts down more than 60 TV programs, including all the late-night talk shows)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2011 [03] A decayed tooth that once belonged to late Beatles legend John Lennon sells at auction for over $31,000

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2013 [01] India launches the Mars Orbiter Mission, its 1st interplanetary probe ($75-million budget is far less than Brian de Palma’s $90-million 2000 movie “Mission to Mars”)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1994 [20] 45-year-old George Foreman becomes ‘Oldest Heavyweight Boxing Champion’ by KO-ing Michael Moorer (who will never live down the humiliation)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] Full ‘Beaver’ Moon
[Fri] Fun Fun Fun Fest begins (Austin TX)
[Fri] Bittersweet Chocolate with Almonds Day
[Sat] Abet & Aid Punsters Day
[Sat] Cook Something Bold & Pungent Day
[Sun] MTV European Music Awards (Glasgow, Scotland)
This Week Is … Drowsy Driving Prevention Week
This Month Is … Peanut Butter Lovers Month

BULL’S BITS


PATRON SAINTS FOR MODERN-DAY CALAMITIES:
There are plenty of saints that cater to modern-day issues if you know where to look. A quick listing of some new duties for some traditional saints …
✓ Patron Saint of Phantom Cellphone Vibrations – Gabriel the Archangel, who’s previously been named patron saint of telephones and telecommunications.
✓ Patron Saint of Etsy – St Luke, the patron of craftworkers, which encompasses everything from lace makers to sculptors.
✓ Patron Saint of Cracked iPhone Screens – Clare of Assisi, patron of all things screen-related as she legendarily saw & heard Christmas mass even though it was taking place miles away.
✓ Patron Saint of Sore Eyes – St Augustine of Hippo, the patron saint of pooped peepers thanks to a long day looking at spreadsheets.
✓ Patron Saint of Lost Keys – St Zita of Lucca, who, as a teenager, was entrusted with the keys to the house where she was a maid. Her best advice … check under the couch cushions.
✓ Patron Saint of Wikipedia – St Isidore of Seville, who’s officially been named patron saint of the Internet because of his prolific writings, including a dictionary and …. an encyclopedia.
✓ Patron Saint of Bloggers – St Francis de Sales, traditionally the patron saint of writers, authors, and journalists, who would probably lend an ear to your cause.
– Adapted from MentalFloss.com

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What’s one food you used to hate but now love?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I haven’t been wrong since 2001, when I thought I made a mistake. But I was wrong.

BS WATERCOOLER QUESTION:
Question: 11 billion of THESE are sold each year, but a good many of them never get used.
Answer: Ketchup packets.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The truth is like ice water. It shocks you when it hits you, but no one’s ever died from it.

Exit mobile version