The Bull Sheet

November 20 2019

Wednesday, November 20, 2019        Edition: #6577

Tomorrow’s Show Prep Today!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Scarlett Johansson and Adam Driver, the two stars of Noah Baumbach’s “Marriage Story,” will jointly receive the Outstanding Performers of the Year Award from the Santa Barbara International Film Festival. The award for Outstanding Performers of the Year recognizes “individuals who have distinguished themselves with exceptional performances in film in the past year”. Last year’s honoree was “Bohemian Rhapsody” star Rami Malek. “Marriage Story” is in theaters now and launches on Netflix on Dec. 6.
-TheWrap
★ James Holzhauer is finally going to face his nemesis Ken Jennings. After winning the “Jeopardy! Tournament of Champions” last week, Holzhauer is returning to the game show to compete against the game show’s two other biggest legends: Jennings, who continues to hold the all-time highest-earnings record over Holzhauer, and Brad Rutter. Airing on ABC in a multi-night event starting Jan. 7, this will be the first time “Jeopardy!” has aired on network television, instead of in syndication, in 30 years. (Can we get “Watson” the IBM computer into this too?)
-TheWrap
★ The blue velvet gown Diana, Princess of Wales wore when she famously enjoyed a dance with John Travolta at the White House is expected to fetch $452,000 at auction. Diana wore the dress in 1985 to attend a state dinner hosted by then-U.S. President Ronald Reagan and his wife Nancy, and hit the dancefloor with fellow guest Travolta. The off-the-shoulder designer outfit had initially been offloaded at a charity auction in New York in June, 1997, two months before Diana’s death, and it was sold to the highest bidder again in 2013 as part of a collection of the princess’ gowns.
-Canoe
★ Kylie Jenner is selling a majority stake of her popular cosmetics line for $600 million, but she’s staying on as its creative leader. She’ll sell 51% of her stake in “Kylie Cosmetics” to Coty Inc. (COTY), a New York-based cosmetics company that also owns a number of international consumer beauty brands, including “CoverGirl”. In a press release, the two companies said the partnership will help Kylie’s brand expand globally and enter new beauty categories.
-CNN

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Garth Brooks, Mike Birbiglia
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Dolly Parton, Kacey Musgraves
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): John Heilemann, Alex Wagner
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Adam Driver, Jonathan Groff, Hozier, Jon Theodore
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Julie Andrews, Kristen Bell
• “Lights Out with David Spade” (COMEDY): Michael Rapaport, Liza Treyger, Tony Rock
• “Conan” (TBS): Dax Shepard
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Carson Kressley, Teresa Giudice
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Day of Hot Topics
• “The Talk” (CBS): Garth Brooks
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Brie Larson, Julie Andrews
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): “The Voice” Hour
• “Survivor” (CBS): Two for the Price of One
• “Chicago Med” (NBC): Season 5 midseason finale
• “Chicago Fire” (NBC): Season 8 midseason finale
• “Chicago P.D.” (NBC): Season 7 midseason finale
• “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” (FXX) Season 14 finale

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Taylor Swift — can perform ‘Shake It Off’ and any of her other early hits at the AMAs this Sunday … because she’s come to an agreement with Big Machine Label and Dick Clark Productions. She had said she was being blocked from performing her early hits by the label she recorded her first 6 albums with.
• Ed Sheeran — Gordon Ramsay reportedly spent almost US$65,000 to secure him to perform at his daughter Tilly’s 18th birthday party. Ramsay hosted an extravagant James Bond-themed bash for his daughter at London’s exclusive Cuckoo Club on Saturday, which included Ed performing a five-song set and leading the crowd in a rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’.
• Madonna – has Instagrammed a clip of her unusual post-show routine, which includes taking an ice bath and drinking a cup of her own urine. Madge documented her 3am ritual for fans, explaining that a 41-degree bath is the “Best treatment for injuries.” (We’re not sure what the pee does…)
• Eddie Van Halen — is home resting after spending days in hospital due to complications from his ongoing cancer treatment, according to a report. He was admitted to the hospital late last week with abdominal pain, apparently the result of a bad reaction to some of the drugs that he was taking to battle throat cancer.
• Paul McCartney – has been confirmed to headline Glastonbury Festival 2020. He’ll be bringing the Saturday night to a close on the Pyramid Stage on June 27 for the event’s 50th anniversary.
Ozzy Osbourne — will perform for the first time since his surgery when he appears with Post Malone and Travis Scott at the American Music Awards on Sunday. They will perform the recently-released single ‘Take What You Want’.
• Mötley Crüe (***WATCH FOR DATING***) — have made it official that they’re back. They have uploaded a video that shows their famous “Cessation of Touring Agreement” being destroyed. There has been no announcement yet regarding a reported tour with Def Leppard and Poison.
• Triumph — reunited for a three-song set in Toronto over the weekend. The show, in front of about 300 fans, was recorded for an upcoming documentary about the band. It was the first time they had performed together in 11 years, and the first time as a 3-piece in 31 years.
• Luke Combs – His sophomore album, “What You See Is What You Get”, is not only at #1 on Billboard’s Top Country Albums chart, it also is at the top of Billboard’s all-genre 200 chart. It is now ranked as the highest-streamed country album in a single week ever, overtaking the previous record-holder: Gene Autry’s “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and Other Christmas Classics”.
• Miranda Lambert – her latest release, “Wildcard”, entered the Billboard Top Country Albums chart at #1, tying a record held by Carrie Underwood. The two are now tied with Dolly Parton for third place among women for most #1 Top Country Albums with 7. Loretta Lynn has 10 and Reba McEntire has 13.
• Dolly Parton — is asking fans to share their versions of her 1973 hit ‘Jolene’ using the hashtag #JoleneChallenge. The announcement was made with a little help from Julianne Hough, who plays Jolene in Parton’s Netflix series “Heartstrings”, which debuts on Friday.

FREEDOM 85:
A Stanford researcher says that we shouldn’t START working full-time until we are 40 years old. What? Psychologist Laura Carstensen says that society has things arranged all wrong. She believes that with people living well into their 80s these days, they have many productive work years ahead of them past the traditional retirement age of 65. Her feeling is that as it stands, young adults are trying to pack all their career and family-raising obligations into a few frantic decades, leaving them burned out, and then we “pull the plug” at 65, and many find themselves without direction or focus in their retirement years. What to do? Carstensen says that education and apprenticeships should stretch longer, through the years when many start families. Full-time would start at 40, and careers would be longer, with a gradual transition to part-time work in the later years before full retirement around age 80. She admits that her plan would involve the trade-offs of more years of living the lean life of a student, and of older workers having to sometimes bow out of plans with the grandkids due to work requirements.
(Start working full-time at 40? 10 years ago, I would have agreed with this…)
(Hey! I’m ALREADY not going to be able to afford a house until I’m 50…)
(By 40, I had LOST 5 full-time jobs!)
-Quartz

NOW SMUDGE CAN COME TO YOUR TABLE:
By now, you’ve definitely seem the infamous “Woman yelling at cat” meme that has been showing up on your social media feeds (over and over and over…). The meme started making rounds in May when a Twitter user put out a tweet combining Smudge the cat’s image with that of Taylor Armstrong from “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills”. It turns out that Smudge, from Ottawa, ON, isn’t always as disagreeable as one would think, judging from the picture of his disapproving gaze from a table with a plate of salad in front of him. His owner says Smudge is a sweet, shy, 6-year-old, and the famous snap happened when Smudge took possession of someone else’s spot at the dinner table, and showed his disapproval at what was being served. And Smudge, who had 1.2 million Instagram followers at last check, is about to enter the next level of celebrity. You can now buy an official “Smudge Ugly Christmas Sweater”, showing his famous pose at a table decorated for the holidays, and the caption: “The cookies were for Santa. Shoulda labeled ’em”. Just $45 Canadian. ($35 US).
(If they really want to make an “Ugly Christmas Sweater”, they should use the pic of the girl…not exactly her best moment!)
(Someone ought to make a meme of my face every time that cat shows up in my feed!)
-NarCity, BoredPanda, CBC

ZERO-WASTE GIFT WRAP IDEAS:
(To keep gift wrap out of landfills…)
➢ Fabric Scraps:  You may have some lying around, and it can be easily purchased online. Finish the edges with pinking shears and wrap the gift using ribbon or sparkly wool. (Now I can finally re-gift the wrapping along with the gift!)
➢ Stasher Bags:  They are eco-friendly reusable bags which can be cooked in, refrigerated and washed. You can also store makeup or travel products in them. A variety in colors and styles are available. $14.99 ($14.99 for a plastic bag? Sorry, that’s all the gift you’re getting!)
➢ Fabric Bags:  A reusable tote stuffed with fav goodies can be a beautiful gift. And you can customize it with paints or stick-ons.
➢ Mason Jars:  Fill it with treasures like cookie kits, granola, homemade soaps, or maybe even twinkle lights.
➢ Wooden Boxes:  You can buy them to fill with a bottle, concert tickets, gift cards or something sentimental. You might even find some at a thrift store.
➢ Reusable tins:  Get them at a bulk or craft store (or re-use a cookie tin) and fill them with home-baked goods, handmade bath salts, or a collection of teas. (I can help you empty that cookie tin…!)
-HuffingtonPost

DID YOU KNOW?
Instagram is said to be contributing to a rise in yoga-related injuries. In an attempt to do more challenging poses that will look good on social media, experts warn that instructors are more prone to injury – mostly in their hips. British psychotherapist Benoy Mathew says “social media has definitely contributed to this feeling of having to take it to the next level and that’s purely for aesthetic reasons.”
-Telegraph

BS CHRONOMETER 11.20.19

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1942 [77] Joe Biden, Scranton PA, politician (US Vice President 2009-17/retired US Senator [Delaware] 1973-2009)/potential 78-year-old President on inauguration day, 2021

1947 [72] Joe Walsh, Wichita KS, classic rock guitarist (‘Life’s Been Good’, Eagles-‘Hotel California’)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1998)/Brother-in-law of Ringo Starr

1956 [63] Bo Derek, Long Beach CA, movie actress (“10”, “Tommy Boy”/TV actress (“Fashion House” 2006)

1971 [48] Joel McHale, Rome Italy, TV actor (“Community” 2009-2015, “The Soup” 2004-2015)

1975 [44] Dierks Bentley, Phoenix AZ, country singer (‘Somewhere on a Beach’, ‘Drunk on a Plane’)

1977 [42] Josh Turner, Hannah SC, country singer (‘All Over Me’, ‘Why Don’t We Just Dance’)

1986 [33] Jared Followill, Mt Juliet TN, rock bassist-pianist (Kings of Leon–‘Use Somebody’, ‘Sex on Fire’)

1995 [24] Michael Clifford, Sydney, Australia, boy-band singer (5 Seconds of Summer-‘Good Girls’, ‘She Looks So Perfect’)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Absurdity Day”, a chance to put your hair in pigtails or wear that shirt you like, but haven’t, because it is too ‘loud’.  Today you don’t have to explain anything … just do it. (As long as you won’t be asked to explain it to a judge later…)

• “African Industrialization Day”, an annual UN initiative to encourage deployment of new technologies in order to raise living standards on the continent and build industries of the future.

• “Globally Organized Hug a Runner Day” (GOHARD), the 9th annual day of support for those who challenge themselves through long-distance running. The day’s motto: ‘Hug a Runner and Share the Sweat!’.  (Ewww!)

• “Name Your PC Day”, what name have you bestowed on yours? (And does it come when it’s called?)

• “Peanut Butter Fudge Day”.  Who cares why? Bring it!

• “Transgender Day of Remembrance”, the 21st annual, commemorating those who have lost their lives due to anti-transgender bias, prejudice, or hatred.

• “Universal Children’s Day”, first proclaimed by the UN in 1954 to initiate action to benefit and promote the welfare of the world’s children.

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Gingerbread Day
[Thurs] False Confession Day
[Fri] Go For a Ride Day
[Fri] National Stop the Violence Day

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2009 [10] Holding back tears, Oprah Winfrey announces she’ll end her highly successful Chicago-based daytime talk show at the end of its 25th season on September 9, 2011

THIS DAY IN ROYALTY . . .
1947 [72] 21-year-old future British Queen Princess Elizabeth II weds 26-year-old Lt Philip Mountbatten in Westminster Abbey, London

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2003 [16] Famed “Wall of Sound” producer Phil Spector is formally charged with 1st-degree murder in the shooting death of actress Lana Clarkson at his LA home (now doing life)

2015 [04] “25”, the 3rd studio album by Adele is released (Grammy Award for Album of the Year 2017, Billboard Album of the Year 2016)

2016 [03] Ariana Grande wins Artist of the Year at the American Music Awards. Justin Bieber is also a big winner, taking home four trophies

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1982 [37] Actress Drew Barrymore hosts NBC-TV’s “Saturday Night Live” … at age 7

1985 [34] Microsoft Windows 1.0 is released

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2008 [11] The Dow Jones Industrial Average reaches its lowest level since 1997

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ It takes 1,000 tons of water to produce 1 ton of grain.
✓ The game ‘Yahtzee’ got its name because it was invented by a couple…on their yacht.
✓ Habitual singing causes the body to release leptin, an appetite-suppressing protein.
✓ Attila the Hun’s burial party was killed to hide his grave. (It has never been found)
✓ Bill Clinton’s homeowner’s policy covered the legal fees for his sexual harassment lawsuit.
✓ Beaver poop looks like sawdust. (Go figure!)
-BathroomReadersInstitute

Best of BS . . .
BS LAWS OF BATHING:
• Spiders will always be able to run around the bathtub faster than you.
• Whenever you leave a bath to run by itself, the plug will jump out when you leave the bathroom and you will return to an empty bath … just as the hot water runs out.
• If you run a bath too hot, you will not realize this until you sit down and burn your hiney.
• It is physically impossible to turn a tap on or off with your foot.
• Whenever you lie back in the bath, your right foot will slip forward until it is positioned exactly beneath the dripping tap.
• The odd flannel you use to wash yourself will prove not to be flannel at all, but a sock which has fallen from above.
• The dirt you wash off yourself will gather on the surface of the water and then re-attach itself to you as you rise to leave.
• The lost bar of soap will ALWAYS become unreachable behind you.
• However briskly you dry yourself, you will still be wet when you put your clothes on.
– First published in ‘BS’ 2010

BS STUPID QUESTIONS AT THE DRIVE-THRU:
• Can I take your order?
• Do you guys deliver?
• Can we start with an appetizer?
• What do you mean, you don’t serve spinach here? This is Popeye’s, right?
• Can I drive back thru when I need a refill?
• How much are the ‘dollar menu’ items?
• Can I get some rum in my Coke?
• Is this healthy?
• Could I get 10 mayo packs, 7 relishes, 16 Ketchup packets and a napkin please?
• . . . And can I get that to go?
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018

BS PHONE STARTER:
What popular movie have you not seen that almost everyone else HAS?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
If you ever feel like you missed an opportunity, just remember that “Head and Shoulders” never though of making a conditioner called “Knees & Toes”.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  According to a survey, THIS word tops the list of those people find most annoying. What is it? (Keep it clean!)
Answer:  “Whatever”

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.

 

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