Tuesday, November 14, 2023 – Edition: #7596
If You Can’t Dazzle Them with Brilliance, Baffle Them with Bull!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ “The Simpsons” co-creator James L. Brooks has confirmed that ‘Homer’ will continue to strangle ‘Bart’ on the show. Earlier this month, the show appeared to confirm it had retired the long-running joke. The reveal was made in season 35 episode “McMansion & Wife”, in which Homer tells ‘Marge’ that he’s changed his ways. But Brooks suggested to People that the gag will continue after all, saying: “Don’t think for a second we’re changing anything. Nothing’s getting tamed…He’ll continue to be strangled—[if] you want to use that awful term for it. He’ll continue to be loved by his father in a specific way.”
-NME
★ Blake Lively is the best “Instagram boyfriend!” On Sunday, the “Gossip Girl” star joked about taking “thirst content” of her husband, Ryan Reynolds, midway through a grueling “Deadpool” workout. After Reynolds shared pics that featured his fitness trainer with and Lively’s reflection in the mirror, the actress reposted the picture on her Instagram, writing, “Find yourself a better Instagram boyfriend than me.” She then zoomed in on her reflection, showing her smiling while taking the picture through a phone. She added: “I’ll wait. (Because) I know low-key capturing thirst content of your fine azz husband is not photography, it’s a public service.”
-People
★ *NSYNC is getting together — for some last-minute press before the “Trolls” movie hits theaters. TMZ reports sources as saying that Justin Timberlake and the other 4 boy band members are planning to attend a premiere, of sorts, later this week in L.A., ahead of the animated film’s release on Friday. The group’s coming-together is happening tomorrow somewhere in Hollywood — but details are being kept under wraps for now. Now that the SAG-AFTRA strike is over, many studios are assembling their big stars and attempting to gain some traction amid some mediocre box office returns lately. The members of *NSYNC not only recorded a song for the movie’s soundtrack, they also voice-act in the film.
-TMZ
★ Matthew Perry’s ex-girlfriend Kayti Edwards is speculating that he may have relapsed in the time leading up to his death. She told a UK paper, quote: “I know Matthew and I know that he wouldn’t have just drowned”, and saying he “might have taken pills.” The former model claims to have briefly dated Perry in 2006 after meeting at an AA meeting. Despite initial toxicology reports coming up negative for fentanyl or meth, Edwards says “things aren’t adding up” when it comes to the details of his death, including the fact that he had been referring to himself as ‘Mattman’ on social media, a term he used “when he was not sober and he felt kind of invincible”, according to her.
-PageSix
★ “Black-ish” star Anthony Anderson and his mom Doris Bowman (aka “Mama Doris”) are teaming up to host Fox‘s new music-centric guessing game show “We Are Family”. The mother and son duo are replacing previously announced Jamie Foxx and his daughter Corinne, who are unable to host the show due to a scheduling conflict for Foxx. He’ll still executive produce the series, which will premiere January 3rd.
-Deadline
★ Idris Elba has plans to release a rap song in aid of knife crime charities. The “Luther” star has recorded a video in London for the single ‘Knife Bill’, in which he takes aim at politicians for their lack of action on the issue. Elba has been calling for harsher measures against knife crime after a 15-year-old girl was stabbed to death in the city in September. He wrote on social media: “It is a shame our country still mourns the deaths of children at the hands of knives. We NEED to enforce tougher deterrents and punishments to those carrying weapons.”
-Bang
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” (ABC/Global): Kurt Russell, Wyatt Russell, Juno Temple, d4vd
• “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Jeff Probst, Robert Glasper featuring SiR & Alex Isley
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Rachel Maddow, Gracie Abrams
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Ed Helms, Eve Hewson, Micaela Diamond
• “The Daily Show (COM): Guest Host Leslie Jones
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Jordan Emmanuel
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Jonathan Karl
• “The Talk” (CBS): Courtney B. Vance, Dr. Robin L. Smith, Denene Millner
• “Live With Kelly and Mark” (ABC/CTV): Nikki and Brie Garcia
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Jewel, Shelia E., Ashley Flowers
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Illinois Teacher of the Year Briana Morales
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Cori Salazar, Zak Salazar
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC): Whitney Houston Night
• “Jay-Z and Gayle King: Brooklyn’s Own” (CBS): The rapper discusses his life, his music, his work in criminal justice, his business acumen and his family.
• “The Voice” (NBC): Back-to-back episodes
• “The Bermuda Triangle: Into Cursed Waters” (HIS): The team dives in search of a Skywarrior attack aircraft that was lost in a suspicious disaster off the USS Saratoga aircraft carrier in 1960.
BS MUSIC NEWS:
• Kendrick Lamar – He and his cousin Baby Keem capped their first performance as The Hillbillies on Sat. at the Camp Flog Gnaw Carnival at Dodger Stadium – by welcoming event founder Tyler, The Creator for the live debut of the song ‘The Hillbillies’. Tyler also appears in the song’s video, released in May.
• Adele – told her Vegas residency audience that she’s ready to enjoy an alcoholic beverage, as she gets set for some time off before launching her 2024 Weekends With Adele shows. Quote: “I’m just going to chill. I’m annoyed as well that I’m sick because this is red wine weather.” She recently shared that she had given up drinking in recent months.
• Michael Jackson — A black-and-white leather jacket he wore in a 1984 Pepsi commercial sold for $306,000 at an auction in London. The jacket, which he donned for part of a series of Pepsi New Generation commercials, is not the one he had on when his hair infamously caught fire on-set.
• The Beatles and The Rolling Stones — Music lovers are partying like it’s 1963, as both bands are at the top end of a Billboard chart. The Beatles’ “final song” ‘Now and Then’ debuted at #9 on the Adult Alternative Airplay chart, while the Stones ‘Angry’ rose to #6. The last time the 2 acts came together on a Billboard top-10 was Dec. 12, 1964, with the songs ‘I Feel Fine’ and ‘Time is on My Side’.
• Def Leppard – drummer Rick Allen said on a podcast that some unreleased material recorded for their debut album has been unearthed. Quote: “We thought that the tapes had been destroyed, but it turns out that they exist. So, we were able to pull some versions and some songs that have never been heard from those tapes, which is fantastic.” No word on a possible release.
• Kenny Chesney – says this of his new single ‘Take Her Home’: “When I heard (a demo version), I just laughed. It was everything life is made of in less than 4 minutes. It’s true, honest and all the stuff that’s easy to forget…I can’t wait to hear people singing this one back to us.” It’s the first preview of his next album. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/ye2a7v5b
• Bailey Zimmerman – Friday, he dropped his Jonas Brothers collab ‘Strong Enough’. Bailey quote: “I’ve been a fan of the Jonas Brothers for as long as I can remember. I literally grew up with them…The fact that they would ask me to be on a song still blows my mind.” LINK: https://tinyurl.com/m3netbvb
• Thomas Rhett — Getting 4 kids to smile for a camera isn’t easy, but he’s got dad moves. While working on a holiday pic, he posted: “How do you get all your kids to smile for Christmas card pictures and pretend like they are laughing when they are all on the verge of crying? Sing ‘peaches’ (the Jack Black song from the “Super Mario Brothers” movie) at the top of your lungs”. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/4fwtzava
SHOOTING THE BULL
COMPUTER CHIPS:
We found out last week that one of the most common complaints of online gamers is the sound of other players munching on chips. Well, once again, it’s Doritos to the rescue! A new “crunch cancellation” software has been developed to remove the sounds of munching while wearing a headset. “Doritos Silent” is an AI-powered tech that listens for the sound of someone’s voice and separates it from the crunch of a snack – allowing them to chomp away without being heard by others. In development for about a year, Doritos Silent is the culmination of an analysis of more than 5,000 crunch sounds. Once installed, you simply turn it on, and it can work in conjunction with any software that supports voice chat. That, of course, means the technology would also allow those working from home to munch and crunch on chips while dialing into a call. PC users can download the software now from the Doritos website – and it’s free! LINK: https://www.doritos.co.uk/silent
(Great. Now can someone please come up with software that cancels the sound of people saying “Can you hear me?”)
(They decided to call it “Doritos Silent” when the words “Knockout Crunch” were just sitting there?)
-GoodNewsNetwork
SCIENTISTS SAY:
❑ Good cardiovascular health can knock 6 years off your biological age, says a team from Columbia University Medical Center in New York. The researchers examined 6,500 adults, and found that sticking to the American Heart Association’s “Essential 8” could significantly extend life and reduce the risk of cardiovascular and other age-related diseases. The Essential 8 habits are: healthy sleep, not smoking, regular physical activity, healthy diet, healthy body weight, and healthy blood glucose, cholesterol and blood pressure. (Wow. That’s gonna be tough. Can I get an extra year if I do just one?)
❑ Sitting too much may send you to an early death, possibly from chronic diseases such as obesity, type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular disease and more. So, the answer is more physical activity, right? While that’s certainly a good idea, but a study published in the European Heart Journal found that swapping 30 minutes of sitting per day for – sleeping — lowered body mass by nearly 1 pound (.43kg) and sliced about 2/3 of an inch (1.75cm) from waistlines. The researchers pointed out that you should still endeavor to eat right, exercise, and get rid of stress, as well as get enough sleep, to reduce cardiovascular risk. (Then, there are people like [***Co-host***], who instead of trading sitting for sleeping, has perfected doing both at the same time…and also gets paid for it!)
-GoodNewsNetwork, CNN
HOLIDAY DELAY:
It seems that many of us are delaying our holiday shopping this year, in hopes of scoring better deals later on. A survey of 2,000 adults in the US found that almost everyone (97%) has plans to holiday shop, but nearly half (47%) haven’t started yet. And of those who haven’t finished their holiday shopping, 8 in 10 are waiting for better bargains. And what kind of bargains are people hoping for? In the OnePoll survey, 64% of respondents said interest-free promotions that allow them to pay over time with no late or hidden fees would be an ideal incentive. Discounts and sales (54%) and buy now, pay later (54%) were tied as the next most desired options. 75% of consumers indicated they plan to spend the same amount or more than they did last year.
(Yeah! THAT’S it. The reason I haven’t done a single bit of holiday shopping is because I’m holding out for better deals. Definitely NOT because I’m waiting til I can clear up a bit of room on my credit cards!)
(If I delayed my Christmas shopping any later than I usually do it, I’d be buying gifts on Boxing Day! Hmmm….)
-SWNS
THINGS WE ALL LEARNED FROM WATCHING MOVIES:
✓ If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises while wearing their most revealing underwear.
✓ It’s easy for anyone to land a plane, as long as there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
✓ If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick’s Day parade – at any time of year.
✓ A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
✓ If you need to pass yourself off as a German officer, it’s not necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
✓ The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding spot. No one will think to look for you there, and you can travel to any other part of the building easily.
✓ A detective can only solve a case once he had been suspended from duty.
✓ If you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts, your enemies will wait patiently, attacking you one by one, only after you have knocked out their predecessor.
✓ All single women have a cat.
✓ During a police investigation, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
-Reddit
THE BEST CELEBRITY COUPLES:
According to fans . . .
1. Jay-Z and Beyoncé
2. John Legend and Chrissy Teigen
3. Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith (We’re guessing the survey went down before she released her book?)
4. Prince Harry and Meghan Markle
5. Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds
(Uh…Maybe Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce just haven’t had enough exposure yet?)
-StudyFinds
DID YOU KNOW?
Pizza Hut is now s-s-s-s-serving “snake-meat pizza” in Hong Kong. The food chain has teamed up with restaurant Ser Wong Fun to offer customers a pizza combining shredded snake meat, along with black mushrooms and Chinese dried ham. The 9-inch pizza will also come with abalone sauce – not the typical tomato spread. One customer said: “The texture is a bit like chicken and tastes like fish and other kinds of seafood.” Pizza Hut claims the cheese and diced chicken makes the snake meat seem “richer in taste”. (I’d also be adding ketchup. LOTS of ketchup…!)
-NYPost
BS CHRONOMETER 11.14.23
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “International Girls Day”, instigated by Kappa Delta Sorority to celebrate all kinds of girls with all kinds of interests and abilities. It’s an opportunity to build confidence in girls and help them realize their potential.
• “Loosen Up, Lighten Up Day”, encouraging us to take things a little slower, take a mental step back and find some balance. And laugh. (Then realize you’re running behind, and get back to work!)
• “Operating Room Nurse Day”, initiated in 1989 to honor RNs who provide TLC in the OR.
• “Pickle Appreciation Day”, a day to gear up for some tangy, spicy and yummy fun. (Never a dill moment…until today!)
• “Spicy Guacamole Day”, a day to show your true green colors by adding some jalapeño to your avocado dip.
• “Seat Belt Day”, as the holiday travel season approaches, this day reminds us that the first thing we should do when we get in a vehicle, is to buckle up. (My car computer doesn’t give me a choice – if I want to hear the radio!)
• “World Diabetes Day”, to help improve the lives of the more than half a billion people living with diabetes worldwide. 1 in 2 people currently living with diabetes are undiagnosed. LINK: http://www.worlddiabetesday.org/
• “Young Readers Day”, observed on the 2nd Tuesday of November since 1989. This is mainly celebrated in schools but it’s also a good time to give books to children you know.
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Pack Your Mom’s Lunch Day
[Wed] Philanthropy Day
[Thurs] Fast Food Day
[Fri] Unfriend Day
This Week is…Geography Awareness Week
This Month is…Aviation History Month
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1948 [75] King Charles III (Charles Philip Arthur George Windsor), London England, British royal (King of the UK and the 14 other Commonwealth realms, Prince of Wales 1958-2022)/married to Queen consort Camilla Parker Bowles since 2005/married to Lady Diana Spencer 1981-96
1954 [69] Yanni (Yiannis Chryssomallis), Kalamata Greece, new age composer-keyboardist (‘Aria’, ‘The Rain Must Fall’)
1962 [61] Harland Williams, Toronto ON, comedian-movie actor (“Dumb and Dumber”, “There’s Something About Mary”) COMING UP… “Wing Man”
1964 [59] Patrick Warburton, Peterson NJ, TV actor (‘Joe Swanson’ on “Family Guy” since 1999, “A Series of Unfortunate Events”, 2017-19)
1964 [59] Joseph “Run” Simmons, Queens NY, rapper (Run-DMC-‘King of Rock’, w/Aerosmith-‘Walk This Way’)/practicing minister (as ‘Reverend Run’)
1968 [55] Brian Yale, Woodbridge CT, rock bassist (Matchbox Twenty–‘Unwell’, ‘Bent’)
1972 [51] Josh Duhamel [PRON: ‘due-MEL’], Minot ND, movie actor (“Transformers” films, “Shotgun Wedding”)/TV actor (“All My Children” 1999-2002/married to singer Fergie 2009-19
1974 [49] Chip Gaines, Albuquerque NM, reality star (“Fixer Upper” 2013-18, since 2021)/married to Joanna Gaines since 2003
1975 [48] Travis Barker, Fontana CA, rock drummer (Blink 182-‘All the Small Things’, ‘I Miss You’), session drummer for Machine Gun Kelly, Avril Lavigne)/married to Kourtney Kardashian since 2022
1977 [46] Brian Dietzen, Barrington IL, TV actor (‘Jimmy Palmer’ on “NCIS” since 2004, “NCIS Hawai’i” since 2022)
1986 [37] Cory Michael Smith, Columbus OH, TV actor (‘The Riddler’ on “Gotham” 2014-19, “Utopia” 2020)
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2002 [21] ‘Kermit the Frog’ receives a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame
2006 [17] “Casino Royale”, the 21st James Bond film, and first starring Daniel Craig, premieres in London
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1991 [32] Michael Jackson’s ‘Black or White’ video premieres in 27 countries (after critics blast the violence and crotch-grabbing, Jackson issues an apology — and a cleaned-up version)
1998 [25] Lauryn Hill becomes the first female rap solo artist to hit #1 on the Hot 100 without a guest artist, with ‘Doo Wop (That Thing)’
2000 [23] As promised, The Offspring give away $1 million of their own money to a lucky fan, the 14-year-old winner of a trivia contest on “MTV’s Total Request Live”
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1997 [26] Larry Walker of the Colorado Rockies wins NL MVP, the first Canadian to be so honored
2008 [15] The first “G-20” economic summit opens, in Washington DC
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1993 [30] Don Shula becomes the coach with the most wins in NFL history (retired with 328 regular season victories)
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ In 2007, a filled, 1000-gallon inflatable swimming pool was stolen from a New Jersey backyard without a single drop of water being found.
✓ Most tropical marine fish could survive in a tank filled with human blood.
✓ During his or her lifetime, the average human will grow 590 miles of hair.
✓ Most of the clocks shown in the movie “Pulp Fiction” are set to 4:20.
✓ The last letter added to the English alphabet was ‘J’ (1524). Prior to that, the letter ‘i’ was used for both the ‘i’ and ‘j’ sounds.
✓ An “ultracrepidarian” is someone who gives an opinion on something they know nothing about. (And oddly, the word was coined before the advent of social media!)
-Diply, RandomFactGenerator, Cosmo
Best of BS . . .
BS FIRST DATE ETIQUETTE:
• Make sure you know which fork to use for soup.
• Don’t show him your Pinterest page with all the wedding stuff. That’s more of a second date kinda thing.
• Don’t interrupt her mom while she’s talking.
• Leave the fidget spinner at home.
• Do NOT get a babysitter. Everyone loves kids!
• Never order spaghetti. Never.
• When your date returns from the bathroom, don’t ask if their drink tastes funny.
• Ask your parole officer to keep his distance.
• Do not, under any circumstances, utter the phrase, “I’m not rich but… ”
• Take your ring off.
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2017
TODAY’S SCOOP OF BS . . .
➠ Walmart has already revealed its Black Friday deals, and many feel this year’s specials are underwhelming. (In fact, they’re so disappointing, customers are expected to line up and patiently wait their turn in an orderly fashion…!)
➠ Retailers say sales of ’90s-era clothing are staging a comeback. (Some consider the ’90s the pinnacle of pop music. These people are called, “Chumbawumba.”
➠ Experts claim that 50% of today’s jobs won’t exist in a decade. (On the bright side, one of those jobs is President Biden’s…)
➠ An Orthodontist in North Carolina is offering a free gun with an Invisalign treatment. (This guy had better have a lawyer on ‘retainer’!)
➠ An Orthodontist in North Carolina is offering a free gun with an Invisalign treatment. (“Acci-dental” shooting? What? These jokes don’t write themselves, people!)
BS WEB GOODIE:
Definitely been there: https://tinyurl.com/bdjdnwpd
BS RANDOM JOKE:
I never make the same mistake twice. I do it 6 or 7 times, just to be sure.
BS PHONE STARTER:
If you could hack into any one computer, which computer would it be?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: This holiday season, men are 3 times more likely than women to get hurt doing THIS. What is it?
Answer: Putting up the tree
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Don’t be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart.
