October 31, 2008

Friday, October 31, 2008        Edition: #3891
Sheeters Always Prosper!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Actor Robert Downey Jr has signed with Marvel to do 2 more “Iron Man” movies plus “Avengers”, a future movie collaboration of superheros, including ‘Iron Man’, ‘Captain American’, ‘Hulk’, ‘Wasp’, ‘Giant Man’, ‘Hawkeye’ and ‘Thor’ (it’s a comic geek’s dream!) . . . Not to be outdone by her hubby, Victoria Beckham will be an underwear model for Giorgio Armani’s new line of gotch (apparently the target market is self-aware posing storks) . . . 2-time Oscar nominee Joaquin Phoenix (“Walk the Line“) says he’s decided to leave acting permanently in order to – concentrate on his music (BS translation: Someone send me a good script or I’ll make you all suffer) . . . The new reality show “Redemption Song” (Fuse) features serious singers who’ve had serious problems (booze, drugs, hooking, stripping, violence) in a competition hosted by wrestler Chris Jericho (it’s like “American Idol” only you find out about their shady pasts up front) . . . Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie’s bulging brood now reportedly requires 6-to-8 nannies to keep things organized (the new family vehicle is a Greyhound) . . . A source close to 31-year-old singer John Mayer denies – again – that he’s NOT expecting a child with 39-year-old Jennifer Aniston even though “In Touch” mag claims on its cover she ‘looks pregnant’ (maybe she’s just retaining water – anyway think of that?) . . . Everyone’s most hated stage mom Dina Lohan is hinting she’s coming to ABC-TV’s “Dancing With the Stars” (how can we make her go away?) . . . Now that it’s resurrected “90210“, the CW is looking to remake primetime TV soap “Melrose Place” (1992-99) and searching for a screenwriter to make it so (this could be really good – if they bring back whacked-out Heather Locklear!).

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Beer for My Horses” (CMT) – SUNDAY Toby Keith’s 2nd feature film makes its TV debut. Willie Nelson and Ted Nugent have roles.
• Fall Out Boy – TODAY they’re attempting to set a new world record by taping the most radio interviews in a single day (58 in 24 hours). The talk-a-thon kicks off at 3 am PDT in LA. The stunt is to promote their new album “Folie a Deux”, which is due out in DECEMBER.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Actor Ben Affleck hosts; “American Idol” David Cook is the musical guest.
• “The Simpsons” (FOX) – SUNDAY “Mad Men”, the hit 1960s-set drama about the advertising biz, is spoofed in the episode “How to Get Ahead in Dead-vertising”.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – TONIGHT Death Cab For Cutie (“Cath …”) performs.
• Usher – SUNDAY he kicks off his 14-date club tour billed as “One Night Stand: Ladies Only” in Atlantic City NJ. Although ladies may be the focus, men are also said to be welcome.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Beck – Actress Chloe Sevigny (“Big Love”) appears in the video for his latest track “Gamma Ray”.
• George Strait – In a new CMT poll, he’s the country artist most fans would pick as US President (23%), followed by Reba McEntire (22%), Trace Adkins & Alan Jackson (tied at 14%).
• Jackson 5 – Jermaine Jackson is promising the brothers will reunite in 2009, something that’s been ‘a long time coming’. He claims Michael will take part and sister Janet will be the opening act. (Is there a place where we can bet against this ever happening?)

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “The Haunting of Molly Hartley” ( PG-13 Thriller ): Haley Bennett plays a high schooler looking to put her troubles behind her with a fresh start at a new school where she hits it off with a popular student (“Gossip Girl’s” Chace Crawford). Then she learns the horrific truth about what awaits her once she turns 18.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/5cog7t
• “RocknRolla” ( R-Rated Crime Thriller ): Director Guy Ritchie’s latest crime caper finally opens wide in North America. The plot involves Russian gangsters and a get-rich-quick scam. The impressive cast includes Gerard Butler (“300”), Thandie Newton (“W”), Jeremy Piven (“Entourage”), and Ludacris (“Crash”).
NET: http://wwws.warnerbros.co.uk/rocknrolla
• “Zack & Miri Make a Porno” ( R-Rated Romantic Comedy ): Seth Rogen (“Knocked Up”) & Elizabeth Banks (“W”) play long-time platonic friends who look to solve their cash-flow problems by starring in their own adult film. Predictably, as the cameras roll they discover they may have more feelings for each other than they previously thought. Directed by Kevin Smith (“Clerks”).
NET: http://zackandmiri.com

WHAT’S THAT, UP IN THE SKY?
Self-proclaimed ‘Prophet Yahweh’ (Ramon Watkins) has again resorted to shameless self-promotion by promising that a fleet of spaceships manned by super-humans will appear in the skies above Las Vegas at noon TODAY. The Prophet claims that the ‘Angels of Yahweh’ talk to him telepathically while he sleeps (that’s called dreaming, dummy). He’s even set up a website so we can watch the entire event as it happens. The Prophet has promised such things before, back in 2005, with absolutely no results other than publicity for his ‘UFO Summoning School’.
NET: http://ufotvnews.org
– “Curious Times”

TOP-EARNING DEAD CELEBRITIES 2008:
The just-released new ranking of the best-paid stiffs over the last year …
5. TV producer Aaron Spelling … $15 million.
4. Physicist Albert Einstein … $18 million.
3. Movie actor Heath Ledger … $20 million.
2. “Peanuts” cartoonist Charles Schultz … $33 million.
1. Elvis Presley … $52 million.
– “Forbes Magazine“

BS HALLOWEEN FACTS:
• Trick-or-treaters are getting a little older. About 85% of 18 to 24-year-olds are expected to celebrate the day.
– “San Francisco Chronicle”
• Why is Halloween popular? It’s a chance for people to mock the social order, let off steam, and laugh at death and all things scary.
– “Salt Lake Tribune”
• In recent years, the trend for women’s costumes has been to show increasingly more skin. On Halloween, it’s more socially acceptable for women to dress a bit more risqué than they normally would.
– “Raleigh News & Observer”

BS CHRONOMETER 10.31.08
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1961 [47] Larry Mullen Jr, Dublin, Ireland, rock drummer (U2-“Vertigo”, “Beautiful Day”)
 
1961 [47] Peter Jackson, Pukerua Bay NZ, filmmaker (“King Kong”, “Lord of the Rings”)  UP NEXT: Directs “The Lovely Bones“ (2009); produces & writes “The Hobbit 1 & 2” (2011-12).

1963 [45] Johnny Marr, Manchester UK, rock guitarist (Modest Mouse-“Dashboard”, “Float On”)

1963 [45] Rob Schneider, Pacifica CA, movie actor (“You Don’t Mess With the Zohan”, “Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo”)/former TV comic (“Saturday Night Live” 1990-94)

1964 [44] Darryl Worley, Pyburn TN, country singer (“Awful Beautiful Life”, “Have You Forgotten?”)

1966 [42] Adrock (Adam Horovitz), South Orange NJ, rock musician/rapper (Beastie Boys-“Ch-Check It Out”, “Intergalactic”)

1967 [41] Adam Schlesinger, Montclair NJ, power-pop bassist (Fountains of Wayne-“Stacy’s Mom”)

1981 [27] Frank Iero, Belleville NJ, rock guitarist/vocalist (My Chemical Romance-“Welcome to the Black Parade””)

SATURDAY –
Publisher Larry Flynt (“Hustler”) is 66; Country musician Dale Wallace (Emerson Drive) is 47; Rock singer Anthony Kiedis (Red Hot Chili Peppers) is 46; Rock drummer Rick Allen (Def Leppard) is 45; Country singer ‘Big’ Kenny Alphin (Big & Rich) is 45; Movie actress Toni Collette (“Little Miss Sunshine”) is 36; Bollywood movie star Aishwarya Rai (“Bride & Prejudice”) is 35.

SUNDAY –
Rock drummer Carter Beauford (Dave Matthews Band) is 51; Crooner kd lang (“Constant Craving”) is 47; Actor David Schwimmer (“Friends”) is 42; Singer/rapper Nelly (“Grillz”) is 34.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Bring Your Jack-o-Lantern to Work Day”, a day to show the boss what a punkin’ head you really are.
• “Halloween”, a long tradition in Canada, Ireland, the UK, and the USA. In recent years, the celebration has spread to other countries around-the-world.
– The observance originated with 5th-century-BC Celtic Druids who believed that on October 31st, all persons who had died in the previous year assembled to choose the body of a person or animal they would inhabit for the next 12 months.
– After the 9th century AD, the day became known as “All Hallows’ Eve” or “Hallowe’en” since it was the night before “All Saints’ Day”.
– The Irish brought the Halloween custom to North America in the 1840s. Of the countries that celebrate Halloween, only in Ireland is it considered a national holiday.
• “Increase Your Psychic Powers Day”. Did you sense we were going to say that?
• “International Magic Day,” traditionally a day for magicians to meet, celebrated on the anniversary of Harry Houdini’s death on October 31st, 1926. Every year, spiritualists hold a seance on Halloween to try and contact the late magician. So far, no answer!
• “International UNICEF Day”, observed on October 31st since 1967, the reason many trick-or-treaters collect donations in UNICEF coin boxes.
• “Knock-Knock Jokes Day”, celebrating their momentous contribution to the comedy world. In honor of the occasion: Knock knock. Who’s there? Philosophy major. Philosophy major who? Well, there are many ways to answer that …

SATURDAY –
• “All Hallows” or “All Saints’ Day” (begun in 835 AD), a Roman Catholic ‘Holy Day of Obligation’ (aren’t they all?). It’s a national holiday in the Philippines, when families gather to honor the dead … but it sometimes gets out of control. Filipino police have been cracking down on drunkenness, gambling and kidnapping … in graveyards.
• “Dia de los Muertos” (“Day of the Dead”) in Mexico. Actually the observance covers 2 days – TODAY, “All Saints Day”, is set aside for remembrance of deceased infants and children (‘angelitos’). SUNDAY, “All Soul’s Day”, is for those who died as adults. For a memorial observance it’s pretty festive, with colorful adornments, lively reunions at family burial plots, fireworks, and special foods.
• “Vegan World Day”, an international focal point for celebrating veganism, a term invented by Donald Watson in 1944. This is the 64th anniversary of ‘The Vegan Society’, whose members do not eat meat, fish, dairy products, eggs, or any other animal product; they are sometimes called ‘strict vegetarians’. In fact, true vegans do not use ANY products derived from animals, such as fur or leather. (Hey, nice plastic shoes, dude!)
NET: http://www.worldveganday.org

SUNDAY –
• “All Souls’ Day”, the excuse for an annual tradition in Santiago, Guatemala – the “Kite Festival”, when natives send massive, extremely colorful kites up to the heavens in an effort to communicate with the dead. Hello, anybody home?
• “Daylight Saving Time” ends at 2 am, after being extended a week last year. Remember, ‘Spring forward, Fall back’ … so set your clocks back an hour (cool, long weekend!). It’s fine for us but tough on dairy cattle – they have to hold their milk for an extra hour, which farmers say can cause health problems.
• “Deviled Egg Day”. (Tomorrow is ‘Watch Dad Evacuate an Entire Department Store in 10 Seconds Day’.)
• “NYC Marathon”, the 39th running of what’s billed as ‘the world’s most celebrated road race’.
NET: http://www.ingnycmarathon.org/home/index.php
• “Plan Your Epitaph Day”, dedicated to the proposition that a forgettable gravestone is a fate worse than death.

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
0834 [1174] 1st ‘All Hallows Eve’, established by Pope Gregory IV to honor saints

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1987 [21] ‘Longest Singles Tennis’ match lasts 80 hours, 21 minutes in Coventry UK (“Geez, I can’t believe it’s frickin’ deuce AGAIN!”)

1990 [18] ‘Largest Jack-O’-Lantern’ carved from 816-lb pumpkin

BS MONTHLY PLANNING CALENDAR . . .
[Nov 3] Sandwich Day / Housewives’ Day / Cliché Day / Digital Scrapbooking Day
[Nov 4] US Election Day / Use Your Common Sense Day
[Nov 5] Take Our Kids to Work Day / Guy Fawkes Day (UK)
[Nov 6] MTV Europe Music Awards (Liverpool) / Saxophone Day / Halfway Point of Autumn / Men Make Dinner Day
[Nov 7] World Community Day
[Nov 8] 2008 Directors Guild of Canada Awards (Toronto) / Dunce Day / Cook Something Bold & Pungent Day / Parents As Teachers Day / International Tongue Twister Day
[Nov 9] Gingerbread House Day
[Nov 11] Remembrance Day / Young Readers Day
[Nov 12] 42nd CMA Awards (ABC) / Prince of Wales’ 60th Birthday Celebration (London)
[Nov 13] Guinness World Record Day 2008 / 9th Latin Grammy Awards (Houston) / Mix It Up at Lunch Day / World Kindness Day / Beaver Moon (Full Moon of November)
[Nov 14] World Diabetes Day / Educational Support Personnel Day / Operating Room Nurse Day / Pack Your Mom’s Lunch Day
[Nov 15] Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day
[Nov 16] International Day for Tolerance / Adoption Day / Transgender Day of Remembrance / World Day of Remembrance for Road Traffic Victims
[Nov 17] Take A Hike Day / Homemade Bread Day / Farm Joke Day / Survivors of Suicide Day
[Nov 18] Married To A Scorpio Support Day
[Nov 19] Have A Bad Day Day / World Toilet Day
[Nov 20] US Thanksgiving Day / Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade (NYC) / Universal Children’s Day / Absurdity Day / Name Your PC Day / Universal Children’s Day / National Child Day in Canada / 2008 Billboard Touring Awards (NYC)
[Nov 21] Buy Nothing Day / Sinkie Day / World Hello Day / False Confessions Day / World Television Day / Flossing Day
[Nov 22] Start Your Own Country Day / Stop the Violence Day / Humane Society Anniversary Day / 2008 Vanier Cup (Hamilton)
[Nov 23] 96th Grey Cup (Montréal) / 36th American Music Awards (Los Angeles) / “A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All!” (Comedy Central) / Guns N’ Roses releases “Chinese Democracy”  
[Nov 24] Celebrate Your Unique Talent Day
[Nov 25] Shopping Reminder Day / International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women
[Nov 27] Pins & Needles Day
[Nov 28] Flossing Day / Salesperson’s Day / 2008 Gemini Awards (Toronto) / Stay Home Because You Are Well Day
[Nov 29] Electronic Greetings Day / Square Dance Day
[Nov 30] International Computer Security Day / “Britney: For the Record” (MTV)
[Dec 1] Bifocals at the Monitor Liberation Day / World AIDS Day
[Dec 3] 51st Grammy Awards nominations announced / International Day of Disabled Persons
[Dec 4] Extraordinary Work Team Recognition Day

USA
BS MONTHLY PLANNING CALENDAR . . .
[Nov 3] Sandwich Day / Housewives’ Day / Cliché Day / Digital Scrapbooking Day
[Nov 4] US Election Day / Use Your Common Sense Day
[Nov 5] Guy Fawkes Day (UK)
[Nov 6] MTV Europe Music Awards (Liverpool) / Saxophone Day / Halfway Point of Autumn / Men Make Dinner Day
[Nov 7] World Community Day
[Nov 8] Dunce Day / Cook Something Bold & Pungent Day / Parents As Teachers Day / International Tongue Twister Day
[Nov 9] Gingerbread House Day / US Marine Corp Birthday
[Nov 11] Veterans Day / Young Readers Day
[Nov 12] 42nd CMA Awards (ABC) / Prince of Wales’ 60th Birthday Celebration (London)
[Nov 13] Guinness World Record Day 2008 / 9th Latin Grammy Awards (Houston) / Mix It Up at Lunch Day / World Kindness Day / Beaver Moon (Full Moon of November)
[Nov 14] World Diabetes Day / Educational Support Personnel Day / Operating Room Nurse Day / Pack Your Mom’s Lunch Day
[Nov 15] Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day / America Recycles Day
[Nov 16] International Day for Tolerance / Adoption Day / Transgender Day of Remembrance / World Day of Remembrance for Road Traffic Victims
[Nov 17] Take A Hike Day / Homemade Bread Day / Farm Joke Day / Survivors of Suicide Day
[Nov 18] Married To A Scorpio Support Day
[Nov 19] Have A Bad Day Day / World Toilet Day
[Nov 20] US Thanksgiving Day / Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade (NYC) / Universal Children’s Day / Absurdity Day / Name Your PC Day / Universal Children’s Day / 32nd Great American Smokeout / 2008 Billboard Touring Awards (NYC)
[Nov 21] Buy Nothing Day / Sinkie Day / World Hello Day / False Confessions Day / World Television Day / Flossing Day
[Nov 22] Start Your Own Country Day / Stop the Violence Day / Humane Society Anniversary Day
[Nov 23] 36th American Music Awards (Los Angeles) / “A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All!” (Comedy Central) / Guns N’ Roses releases “Chinese Democracy”  
[Nov 24] Celebrate Your Unique Talent Day
[Nov 25] Shopping Reminder Day / International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women
[Nov 27] Pins & Needles Day
[Nov 28] Flossing Day / Salesperson’s Day / Stay Home Because You Are Well Day
[Nov 29] Electronic Greetings Day / Square Dance Day
[Nov 30] International Computer Security Day / “Britney: For the Record” (MTV)
[Dec 1] Bifocals at the Monitor Liberation Day / World AIDS Day
[Dec 3] 51st Grammy Awards nominations announced / International Day of Disabled Persons
[Dec 4] Extraordinary Work Team Recognition Day

BULL’S BITS
BS EXPRESSIONS FOR VEGANS:
In honor of “World Vegan Day”, here some common sayings adapted for the faithful …
• “Let’s talk tofurkey.”
• “We had a whale of a time, unless that particular whale happens to be getting illegally harpooned by a boatload of murderous Japanese fishermen. If that’s the case, then we just had fun … as much fun as civilized people can have with all the killing going on.”
• “It’s a dog-eat-soy-based-food-substance-shaped-into-the-form-of-a-dog world.”
• “I’ve been running around like a chicken with its head full of hope and possibilities now that everyone has become a vegan.”
• “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse … radish.”
• “Holy cow! Seriously, they’re deities.”
– Thanks to Michael Armstrong

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Since today is Halloween, about 35% of people will do THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Wear a costume to work.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Halloween is the one day of the year when you get compliments for looking strange.

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