BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
41-year-old late-night TV host Jimmy Kimmel has moved on from his 5-year relationship with comic Sarah Silverman by dating a “Jimmy Kimmel Live!“ writer on his staff, Molly McNearney (is he taking notes from Letterman?) . . . 49-year-old movie actor Antonio Banderas is launching his own motorcycle racing team to compete in the Moto2 league, a new category on the Grand Prix Motorcycle Racing circuit that’s set to rev up next year (he’ll watch, not ride) . . . Katie Holmes has apparently persuaded hubby Tom Cruise to allow their 3-year-old daughter Suri to attend a Catholic school, the Yawkey Center For Early Education & Care in Boston MA, while Tom shoots his latest movie, “Wichita”, in the area (Katie was raised Catholic and has reportedly not been seen at the Church of Scientology for over 5 months) . . . 33-year-old sorta-famous person Tara Reid has reportedly overcome ‘physical insecurities’ and stripped off for an upcoming issue of “Playboy” magazine, despite a botched liposuction procedure 5 years ago that’s left ‘uneven bumps’ on her belly (eww, maybe she should pose for the “Journal Of the American Medical Association” instead?) . . . And 16-year-old singer/actress Miley Cyrus is urging fans to take a break from Internet addictions and concentrate on living their lives, setting an example by closing down her Twitter account (hurray, she’s finally done something worth applauding!).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• All For the Hall Concert (Nashville TN) – Tonight’s benefit for the Country Music Hall of Fame & Museum features performances by Brad Paisley, Faith Hill, Jason Aldean, Keith Urban, Lady Antebellum, Little Big Town, Taylor Swift, and organizer Vince Gill.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Daughtry (“Leave This Town”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Cobra Starship (“¡Viva la Cobra!”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Lily Allen (“It’s Not Me, It’s You”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Senegalese recording artist Baaba Maal & The Brazilian Girls.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Dead by Sunrise, the side project of Linkin Park vocalist Chester Bennington.
• “Soundtrack 90210” – Today’s release of music from the relaunched TV series features new tunes from Adele w/The Raconteurs, NERD w/Santigold, Jet, and OK Go.
• “Today Show” (NBC) – Michael Buble (“Crazy Love”).
• “Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien” (NBC/A Channel) – The Flaming Lips (“Embryonic”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Alicia Keys – She’s launching a line of handmade jewelry, each piece engraved with a message of hope. The ‘Barber’s Daughters’ collection is the first venture from her new company, AK Worldwide, which handles her side projects not related to music.
• Britney Spears – As the “Circus” tour heads to Australia in November, all 150 members of her troupe have signed contracts to regularly undergo urine tests. A source tells Sydney’s “Herald Sun” that there’s zero tolerance: No drink; no drugs; if you do not comply, you do not tour.
• Katy Perry – She’s reportedly trying to have her new boyfriend, 34-year-old British comic Russell Brand, meet her evangelical Christian parents ASAP in order to persuade them he’s an okay guy. Brand has earned a bit of a bad rep in the past as a womanizer and drug abuser.
• Lady Gaga – Her upcoming album re-release, “The Fame Monster”, will contain 8 new tracks. It’s due November 24th.
• Michael Jackson – The iconic white glove worn during the 1984 “Victory” tour has sold for a staggering $66,000 at a Profiles in History auction in Calabasas CA.
• Radiohead – Despite earlier vows to never record another album, guitarist Ed O’Brien now confirms that they will, in fact, release a new recording next year. Quote: “We love the artwork … the physicality. And we like vinyl. That’s not going to go away.”
• Taylor Swift – She’s announced she will go back on the road for the first half of 2010 with another round of “Fearless” tour dates, beginning with 5 shows in Australia in February.
• Them Crooked Vultures – Josh Homme has revealed that it was Dave Grohl who put together the super-group that also includes John Paul Jones. Their album should be out by year’s end.
• U2 – Bassist Adam Clayton tells “USA Today” that the band dismissed the possibility of a U2 “Rock Band” game after talks last year, but may now be interested if something along the lines of The Beatles’ version can be put together.
• Whitney Houston – She’s set to embark on her first tour in 11 years, launching a world trek in 2010 with dates in the UK, Germany, Switzerland, Austria, and Belgium.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Drag Me to Hell” ( Horror Thriller ): Alison Lohman stars in this Sam Raimi horror flick as a loan officer who makes the bad decision not to save an old woman from being evicted. She soon finds herself the recipient of a supernatural curse which turns her life into a living nightmare. Originally intended to star Ellen Page (“Juno”), but she opted out.
• “Land Of the Lost” ( Comedy Adventure ): Will Ferrell stars as a scientist who is sucked into a space-time vortex alongside his research assistant (Anna Friel) & a redneck survivalist (Danny McBride). Together they strive to make it back home from a world full of dinosaurs and other fantastic creatures. Based on the kids’ TV adventure series that ran from 1974-77.
• “The Proposal” ( Romantic Comedy ): Sandra Bullock stars as a publishing executive who forces her assistant (Ryan Reynolds) to marry her so she can avoid deportation back to Canada. In real life, Reynolds is from Canada & Bullock is American. Shot on location in Massachusetts. Comes in a ‘Deluxe DVD Edition + Digital Copy’.
• Also released today: “Flashpoint: The 1st Season” (TV);  “Futurama: The Complete Collection 1999-2009 (animation); “Legend Of the Seeker: The Complete 1st Season” (TV);  “Looney Tunes Spotlight Collection: Volume 7” (animation); “Marvel Animation: 6 Film Set”; and “Wuthering Heights” (ITV drama).

LIFE BY THE NUMBERS:
A BS breakdown of who we are and what we do …
• 83% of singles say if the person they were dating told them he/she didn’t like their friends, they would still date them anyway.
• 25% of men say they’d be uncomfortable if their female boss was flirting with them.
• 13% of women believe a man should not call his mother more than once a day.
• 10% of us have a phobia about balloons.
• 8% of us think holding hands is inappropriate in a public place.
• 7% of us have kissed a co-worker during ‘Happy Hour’.

BACKSTAGE RIDERS:
A sampling of what some acts ask for before they’ll agree to perform …
• Ting Tings will not allow any Styrofoam or plastic backstage. (Ask Pam Anderson … that’s for up front!)
• Lady Gaga will not suffer sweaty or smelly cheese. Her fromage must be odorless and served on ice. (Well, with a nose like hers …)
• The Killers’ request 3 pairs of pants … but for one band member only. (Bladder trouble?)
• Kings of Leon like ‘ultra-balm’ tissues. (Aw, are we sensitive?)
• Rihanna may ask for hard-boiled eggs at any time before a show. (Pity the front row.)
• Taylor Swift asks for 1 bag of Edamame frozen soy beans. (Mmm, swine feed!)
NET: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/backstagetour/index.html
– Adapted from PopBitch.com / TheSmokingGun.com.

FAREWELL MAGAZINES:
We’re living in the greatest era ever of cessation of magazine publishing. So far this year, 383 periodicals have disappeared in North America or will soon according to Mediafinder, an online database of American and Canadian publications. Another 64 magazines have gone from print to online-only this year. These totals put 2009 on track to challenge 2008, when 613 titles folded, as the year of the magazine disaster. The industry’s true catastrophe was 2007, when 643 magazines closed down. (Now what are we gonna do in the doctor’s waiting room?)
– “Christian Science Monitor”

THE ORANGE MENACE:
Just in time for Halloween, Hurley NY vegetable farmer John Gill and his construction buddy Gary Arold have built a compressed-air cannon that can fire a pumpkin … at 600 mph. The ‘Pumpkin Cannon’ has a 97-foot-long barrel that, when tilted to a 45-degree angle, can shoot gourds roughly 3,500-feet-high.  They’ve also used the gizmo to fire off scuba tanks, a basketball filled with corn and foam insulation, and a bowling ball for more than a mile. (Kim Jong-il wants to talk to them.)
– “Times Herald Record”

MALE CELEBS WHO ARE PAST THEIR EXPIRATION DATES:
• Bret Michaels – Hard to believe desperate-to-be-famous women throw themselves at this tool.
• Charlie Sheen – After a promising movie career, thanks for the worst show on television.
• Donald Trump – ‘The Donald’ is as dated as the toupée on his head.
• Jack Nicholson – From Hollywood’s most eligible to an old man with moobs.
• James Woods – Running around with young stuff doesn’t fool anyone into thinking you’re young.
• Jay Leno – Jay and his Harleys have been in the midst of a mid-life crisis for decades.
• John Travolta – From disco hottie to fat, bald Scientologist.
• Jon Gosselin – The earring and closet full of Ed Hardy aren’t fooling anyone.
• Jude Law – It’s over when you’re knockin’ up nobodies and trying to hide your receding hairline under funny hats.
• Russell Crowe – Please, just let us remember you as you were in “Gladiator”.
– Condensed from TheFrisky.com.

ENHANCED SKINNY:
Design house Ralph Lauren has been forced to apologize after digitally altering a picture of a slim model to make her look appallingly thin. In the disturbing image for the fashion firm’s Blue Label line, model Filippa Hamilton’s size 8 frame underwent such a transformation that her head actually seems wider than her waist. Yet this drastically distorted image was chosen for an ad campaign. A spokesperson says the company has addressed the problem and will take every precaution in future to ensure artwork ‘represents the brand appropriately’. (BS translation: We got the publicity we were looking for … now we’re moving on.)
– DailyMail.co.uk

FOR THE RECORD:
A blind South African man has earned a spot in the “Guinness Book of World Records” by driving a car at 200 mph. Hein Wagner hopes his next feat will be even more impressive – breaking 500 mph at the helm of a Boeing airliner full of passengers flying between London and Johannesburg. (“This is the pilot speaking; if you’ll look off our starboard wing toward the west you’ll see … far more than I ever will!”)
– Fox News

DID YOU KNOW?
• Fidel Castro stopped smoking cigars in 1985.
• In the early days of barcodes there was a plan for round ones.
– “Magazine Monitor”

BS CHRONOMETER 10.13.09

---

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1941 [68] Paul Simon, Newark NJ, oldies singer (“Graceland”, w/Garfunkel-“Bridge Over Troubled Water”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1990)

1942 [67] Jerry Jones, LA CA, petroleum businessman/NFL owner (Dallas Cowboys)

1959 [50] Marie Osmond, Ogden UT, Las Vegas entertainer (“Donny & Marie”)/TV personality (“Dancing With the Stars” 2007)/pop-country singer (“Paper Roses”)

1962 [47] Kelly Preston, Honolulu HI, movie actress (“Broken Bridges”, “Jerry McGuire”)/Mrs John Travolta since 1991

1967 [42] Kate Walsh, San Jose CA, TV actress (‘Dr Addison Montgomery’ on “Private Practice” since 2007, ‘Dr Addison Montgomery‘ on “Grey’s Anatomy” 2005-07)

1969 [40] Rhett Akins, Valdosta GA, country singer (“Don’t Get Me Started”, “That Ain’t My Truck”)

1971 [38] Sacha Baron Cohen, London UK, movie actor (“Bruno”, “Borat”)/TV comedian (“Da Ali G Show” 2003-04)

1971 [38] Billy Bush, Killingworth CT, TV host (“Access Hollywood” since 2004, “Miss Universe” 2009, “Today Show” 2001-08)/first cousin of George W Bush

1980 [29] Ashanti (Douglas), Glen Cove NY, R&B singer (“Only U”, “Foolish”)/movie actress (“Resident Evil: Extinction”, “Coach Carter”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Face Your Fears Day”, a day to ‘fess up about your personal phobias and confront them head on. Some of the most common fears include creepy creatures (bugs, mice, snakes, and bats); heights; water; enclosed spaces; tunnels & bridges; crowds, and public speaking. But what about bigger life issues such as fear of dying; fear of loneliness; fear of failure; and fear of rejection? I’m afraid we’re a fearful bunch, aren’t we?

• “International Skeptics Day”. We’re not sure there’s really any point to this or that it accomplishes anything really.

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1903 [106] Boston Pilgrims (Red Sox) beat Pittsburgh Pirates 5 games-to-3 to win the 1st ‘World Series’ (best of 9)

1983 [26] 1st ‘Cellular Telephone System’ introduced (John Edwards, the Brit who invented the cellphone in the 1960s, was refused a start-up loan to develop it. A bank manager told him the technology would ‘never catch on’ because people would never ‘want to carry a phone in their pocket’.)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1992 [17] Air France supersonic jetliner sets record for ‘Fastest Circumnavigation of the Globe’ (33 hours)

COMING UP . . .
[Wed] International Day for Natural Disaster Reduction
[Wed] International Emergency Nurses Day
[Wed] Bring Your Teddy Bear to Work & School Day
[Thurs] International Credit Union Day
[Fri] Mammography Day
[Fri] World Food Day
This Week Is … Getting the World to Beat a Path to Your Door Week
This Month Is … Class Reunion Month

BULL’S BITS

---

BS RULES OF THE OFFICE:
• After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
• When bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
• If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
• You will always be doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.
• People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn’t.
• The authority of the worker is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.
• When you don’t know what to do, it’s best to walk fast and look worried.
• The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.

BS PHONE STARTER:
If you could have anything from your neighbor’s house, what would it be?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I won’t say ours was a tough school but we used to write essays on topics like ‘What I’m Going to Be If I Grow Up’.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: A recent study shows that THIS is the #1 cause of a bad night’s sleep.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Letting a pet sleep with you.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Nothing is ever so good as it seems beforehand.