Friday, October 26, 2007              Edition: #3642
We’ve Got Our Sheet Together!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
THIS WEEKEND the city of Scranton PA, home to ‘Dunder-Miflin’ on TV comedy “The Office” (ABC/Global), is hosting its first-ever “Office Convention”, highlighted by ‘Office Olympics’ (just like on the show), appearances by minor members of the cast, and performances by the Scrantones, the band that recorded the show’s theme (now there’s a great idea for a Happy Hour station promotion in a local hang-out!) . . . FOX-TV is reportedly developing a “Prison Break” spinoff that would take place at a women’s penitentiary and follow a new character who’s expected to make her debut later THIS SEASON (Foxy Brown?) . . . Add another to the list of Hollywood celebs who’ve inflicted unbearable names on their kids – actress Gretchen Mol (“3:10 to Yuma”) has just named her new son ‘Ptolemy’ (sounds like ‘ptooey’) . . . “Back to You” star Kelsey Grammar has just listed his Long Island estate in Bridgehampton NY for $16.1 million, almost twice what he paid for it only 2 years ago (geez, are we greedy?) . . . By comparison, shock-rocker Marilyn Manson’s 70-year-old, 4,500-sq-ft, Mediterranean-style California home is a bargoon at just $1.1 million (NET: http://tinyurl.com/2ml2fj) . . . And the ever-talented Jessica Simpson reveals the stunning news that she has a drawer-full of ‘lucky socks’ that she only wears whenever her life or career need a boost (you better tug on 10 layers, honey).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• The B-52’s – The “Love Shack” hit-makers have just completed work on their first album in 15 years, to be titled “Funplex”.
• Diddy – 37-year-old Sean Combs has inked a multi-year agreement to develop Diageo PLC’s premium Ciroc [‘sher-ROQ’] vodka brand for a 50-50 share in the profits. The deal could be worth over $100 million, depending on how well the brand performs.
• Janet Jackson – She says she‘s accepted that her weight will always go up and down, but it’s all good because she’s learned to love herself at both weights.
• The Eagles – Don Henley is defending the exclusive deal with Wal-Mart to distribute “Long Road Out Of Eden” (out TUESDAY) even though the new album makes critical references to consumerism and big business. Henley claims it gives him a direct line to make his opinions known to the CEO of the world’s largest retailer. Yeah, helps sell a whack of CDs, too.
• Led Zeppelin – A digital box set featuring their entire discography is now available for pre-order on iTunes for $99. The collection is due for release NOVEMBER 13th.
• Madonna – The tiara she wore when wedding British director Guy Richie in 2000 hasn’t attracted any bidders at a charity auction in Seattle WA. Perhaps the $350,000 starting price was a tad steep?
• Velvet Revolver – 42-year-old guitarist Slash is denying he only wrote his new autobiography for the money. He says the book has enabled him to tell the truth about his departure from Guns N’ Roses and his turbulent relationship with Axl Rose.

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• Bon Jovi – TONIGHT they kick off a fall/winter tour with a series of shows to officially open the new Prudential Center (aka ‘The Rock’) in Newark NJ. Scalpers are demanding up to $3,000 for premium floor seats to their SRO concert in Winnipeg DECEMBER 9th.
• Britney Spears – TODAY yet another custody hearing is scheduled in LA to review her visitation rights with her sons. She was ordered to receive 3 individual counseling sessions beforehand.
• John Mellencamp – TONIGHT he kicks off a fall arena tour in Terre Haute IN.
• Soulja Boy (DeAndre Way ) – TONIGHT the “Crank That” rapper does “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC).
• Spoon – They’re the musical guests on “Saturday Night Live” (NBC), hosted by movie actor Seth Rogen (“Knocked Up”).
• “We Will Rock You“ – TONIGHT the Toronto production of the hit stage musical is holding a special one-off ‘sing-along’ performance. The audience will be handed lyric sheets and encouraged to sing some of Queen’s greatest hits. “Bohemian Rhapsody” will be a challenge.
• “Vegoose Festival“ – THIS WEEKEND the annual 2-day music festival at Sam Boyd Stadium in Las Vegas features Queens Of The Stone Age, Rage Against The Machine, Muse, plus Iggy & the Stooges performing their classic album “Fun House” … in its entirety.
• ”Voodoo Music Experience” – THIS WEEKEND the annual 3-day Halloween rock festival in New Orleans LA features Kings of Leon, Rage Against the Machine (busy weekend!), Smashing Pumpkins, and  Wilco.
NET: http://www.voodoomusicfest.com/2007/index.html

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Dan in Real Life” ( PG-13 Romantic Comedy ): Steve Carell plays a recently widowed  advice columnist & single dad who’s anxious to get back into the dating game. Unfortunately, the first woman he falls for is his brother’s girlfriend. Co-stars Juliette Binoche (“Chocolat”), Dane Cook (“Employee of the Month”), John Mahoney (“Frasier” 1993-2004). Will moviegoers forgive Carrell for the summer box office disaster “Evan Almighty”?
NET: http://daninreallife.movies.go.com/
• “Saw IV” ( R-Rated Horror ): The deaths of ‘Jigsaw’ and his apprentice ‘Amanda’ ensnare a group of investigators in the grisly details of the killers’ final game. It’d been confirmed that, even though the serial torturer is dead, ‘Jigsaw’ will still appear in any and all sequels. Word has it “Saw 5” and “6” are already scheduled for 2008-09 theatrical release. Stars Tobin Bell, Scott Patterson, Justin Louis. Shot entirely in Toronto.
NET: http://movies.break.com/saw4/

GEMINI AWARDS:
SUNDAY the 22nd awards gala for excellence in Canadian English-language TV airs live from the Conexus Arts Centre in Regina (CBC). A few details …
• “ET Canada at the Geminis” airs beforehand, live from the red carpet (Global).
• As well as acting categories, highlight awards include ‘Best Comedy’; ‘Best Dramatic Series’; ‘Best News Anchor’; and ‘Best Performance or Host in a Variety Program’.
• TV drama “Slings & Arrows” (TMN) leads nominations with 14; “ReGenesis” (TMN/Showcase) has 12. Local productions “Corner Gas” (CTV) and “Little Mosque On The Prairie” (CBC) are also likely candidates to pick up trophies.
NET: http://www.geminiawards.ca/gemini22/main.cfm

THE GREEN MACHINE:
While Honda, Toyota and Japan’s other big car-makers are pouring some $20 billion into developing the world’s first commercially viable fuel-cell car, Suzuki has teamed with a British company to build the ‘Crosscage’. THIS WEEK a prototype of the hydrogen-powered motorcycle was unveiled which is virtually silent and emits only pure water. The green bike requires further development but could be on the market within a few years. (By which time the price of water will exceed gasoline.)
– “GQ”

UNBOINKABLE WOMEN:
It’s cruel and politically incorrect but this new poll on the world’s least attractive female celebs is also oh-so-juicy …
5. Britney Spears – Aren’t you sick of seeing her over-filling chicken-grease-stained sweatpants on the cover of every trashy tabloid and gossip blog on the Internet?
4. Madonna – With a mug that looks Euro-sealed to her skull, she resembles Willem Dafoe with hot flashes.
3. Sandra Oh – The “Grey’s Anatomy” star’s cold bedside manner and boyish figure make it understandable why ‘Burke’ dumped her.
2. Amy Winehouse – Hemorrhaging translucent skin, rat’s nest mane, and lashes that look more like surgically-attached bats.
1. Sarah Jessica Parker – The least sexy in a group of very unsexy women, the cast of “Sex & the City”.
– “Maxim Magazine“

WALL PAINTINGS:
Britain’s so-called ‘guerilla artist’ Banksy, who began his career painting graffiti on public buildings, has developed an international following and become very collectible. Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie forked out $2 million for one of his works earlier this year and THIS WEEK 11 of his pieces sold for more than their estimated value at a London auction, pulling in over $1 million in total. Ironically also this week officials in east London announced that Banksy murals on walls in their area would be painted over, because they’re considered vandalism.
– CBC Arts

BS SHOCKING FACTS:
• If you’re a germaphobe, make sure to stay away from these places where the most bacteria are found: ATM buttons, your handbag, mats at the gym and … the kitchen sink. Aghhh!
• A new study from the Institute for Policy Studies has found that some hedge fund managers have an average income of $35,100 … every 10 minutes!
• Most serious identity thieves are strangers – not relatives or friends – and a surprising number of them are women, a new study has found.

AND WE QUOTE:
• “What you don’t want to do is keep in a cry, because then you get bloated. And then you’ll want to cry because you’re bloated. It’s a vicious cycle.”
– Ellen DeGeneres, explaining why she got all misted up on her show over the adopted dog she gave away.
• “I met Courtney Love and she said she’d like to sleep with me but couldn’t because of my pop star thing. So I said I couldn’t sleep with her either because of her ugly thing.”
– UK singer Robbie Williams, proving he has some taste … and great vision.

BS CHRONOMETER 10.26.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1946 [61] Pat Sajak, Chicago IL, TV game show host (“Wheel of Fortune” since 1981)

1946 [61] Ivan Reitman, Komarmo, Slovakia [raised in Canada], movie producer (“Disturbia”, “Old School”, “Trailer Park Boys: The Movie”)/movie director (“Six Days Seven Nights”, “Ghost Busters”)

1947 [60] Hillary Rodham Clinton, Park Ridge IL, 2008 Presidential candidate/US Senator (Democrat-NY since 2001)/former US First Lady (1992-2000)

1954 [53] James Pickens Jr, Cleveland OH, TV actor (‘Chief-of-Staff Dr Richard Webber’ on “Grey’s Anatomy” since 2005)

1963 [44] Natalie Merchant, Jamestown NY, classic rock singer (“These are Days”, “Jealousy”)/former 10,000 Maniacs lead

1967 [40] Keith Urban, Whangarei, New Zealand, country singer (“Everybody”, “Better Life”)

1977 [30] Jon Heder, Fort Collins CO, movie actor (“Blades of Glory”, “Napoleon Dynamite”)

SATURDAY –
Movie actor/comedian John Cleese (“Monty Python”) is 68; Rock bassist Garry Tallent (E Street Band) is 58; Classic rock singer Simon Le Bon (Duran Duran) is 49; Rock singer Scott Weiland (Velvet Revolver) is 40.

SUNDAY –
World’ wealthiest Bill Gates (Microsoft) is 52; Movie actress Julia Roberts (“Erin Brockovich”) is 40; Country singer Brad Paisley (“Online”) is 35; Movie actor Joaquin Phoenix (“Walk the Line”) is 33.

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Bring Your Jack-o-Lantern to Work Day”, a day to show the boss what a punkin’ head you really are.
• “Cranky Co-Workers Day”, in honor of all the complaining and just plain cranky people you work with and have to endure all year. This is the day to let them go with it and enjoy their misery!
• “Frankenstein Friday”, honoring the ‘mother’ and ‘father’ of “Frankenstein” – spooky author Mary Shelly and creepy movie actor Boris Karloff. Darmstadt, Germany is home to the annual “Frankenstein Festival” THIS WEEKEND. It’s the site of the actual Frankenstein Castle that inspired Mary Shelley’s famous horror novel.
• “International Red Cross Day”, in honor of its founding on this date in 1863 in Geneva, Switzerland.

SATURDAY –
• “Plush Animal Lover’s Day”, in honor of Teddy Roosevelt’s birthday (1858), namesake of the ‘Teddy Bear’. Ask listeners what animals they have saved from their childhood, where they keep them … and what they do with them.

SUNDAY –
• “Chocolate Day”. North Americans collectively eat over 100 lbs of chocolate … every second!
• “Mother-In-Laws Day”, an annual observance on the 4th SUNDAY in OCTOBER.
• “Statue of Liberty Day@ in America, honoring the day in 1886 when the Statue of Liberty was dedicated. The statue was designed by Frederic Auguste Bartholdi and was a gift to the US from France.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1970 [37] “Doonesbury” comic strip by Garry Trudeau debuts in 28 newspapers

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2002 [05] Pop singer Jessica Simpson weds boy-band singer Nick Lachey (leading to MTV show “Newlyweds” and more fame & money than either deserve)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1975 [32] ‘Heimlich Maneuver’ 1st approved as aid for people choking on food (named for its developer, Dr Henry Heimlich)

1982 [25] ‘Canadian Baseball Hall of Fame’ organized in Toronto (permanent site in St Mary’s ON includes regulation diamond nicknamed ‘Field of Dreams’)

1997 [08] The expansion Florida Marlins, who debuted during the 1993 season, become the 1st wild card team to win the “World Series”

2001 [06] Microsoft launches “Windows XP” computer operating system (still better than Vista?)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1990 [17] 1st NHLer to reach 2,000 career points (Wayne Gretzky, while playing for LA Kings)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Mon] Hermit Day
[Mon] International Internet Day
[Tues] Devils Night
[Tues] Mischief Night
[Tues] The Eagles release “Long Road Out of Eden” album
[Wed] Halloween
This Week Is … Peace, Friendship & Goodwill Week
This Month Is … Cosmetology Month (honoring those who make a living off hair and nails)

BULL’S BITS

TRUTH OR BS?
• In the comic strip “Peanuts”, ‘Charlie Brown’ first sat in a pumpkin patch waiting for ‘The Great Pumpkin’ because he confused Halloween with Christmas. [BS. It was ‘Linus’ in a strip that first ran on OCTOBER 28, 1959.]
– “Toronto Star”
• Artificial sweetener is not bad for you. [TRUE. An expert panel from universities and medical schools has found there is no evidence that aspartame – the ingredient used in most diet drinks and artificial sweeteners – causes cancer, neurological damage, or any other health problems.]
– “Cosmopolitan”
• An ordinary tabby cat can clear a wall 5 times its own height in one easy leap. [TRUE]
– “The Guardian”
• Nudists are most comfortable at room temperature, 72 F (22 C). [BS. Actually a poll of bods in the buff suggests they like it a bit warmer … 82 F or 28 C.]
– “2008 Canadian Weather Trivia Calendar: 20th Anniversary Edition”

BS RANDOM JOKE:
If you ever wonder if you should get gas, get gas.

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the best TV show that nobody seems to be watching except you? (“Medium”? “Friday Night Lights”? “Supernatural”?)

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: On an average day a woman will do THIS over 60 times, a guy less than 10.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Smile.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
When on Friday night you start worrying about Monday morning, it’s probably best to change jobs.