Tuesday, October 9, 2007        Edition: #3630
Sheet Happens!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Despite the fact that Jennifer Aniston & Orlando Bloom have been spotted looking awfully cozy during a vacation getaway in Mexico, the movie star duo are ‘just friends’ – at least that’s what their reps are insisting (they’d never survive as a couple – he’s prettier) . . . Michael Jackson has apparently agreed to appear as a ‘mentor’ on Simon Cowell’s UK TV talent contest “X Factor” in an upcoming episode that will air sometime before Christmas (you can bet Simon will try to talk him into the next season of “American Idol” as well) . . . The  Xbox videogame “Halo 3” has grossed over $300 million in just its first week of release, but a movie version of the best-selling video game series could be in jeopardy due to studio disputes and the huge budget required to bring the computer-generated characters to the bigscreen . . . Former Norwegian environment minister Borerge Brende, who nominated Al Gore for the Nobel Peace Prize, says the former US VP should be the odds-on favorite when the winner is announced FRIDAY in Oslo . . . After initially refusing to accept she was his spawn, 37-year-old Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs is now promising he’ll be a good father to his 15-month-old daughter, Chance, the result of an affair with a Decatur GA woman named Sarah Chapman that contributed to the end of his long-time relationship with model/actress Kim Porter (he has at least 4 other kids here, there & everywhere) . . . Movie actress Milla Jovovich says she was stunned to find out she’s expecting a baby via her “Resident Evil” director Paul Anderson because she thought her growing belly was just the result of excessive beer drinking (nice to see she’s striving to have a healthy pregnancy) . . . And Rosie O’Donnell is now blabbing that she didn’t mutually agree to leave ABC-TV’s daytime talk show “The View”, she was axed because she objected to being a mouthpiece for the producers (well she’s certainly got the ‘mouthpiece’ part down anyway).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Arctic Monkeys – They’ve been named the ‘Best Act In the World Today’ at the annual “Q Awards” LAST NIGHT in London.
• Britney Spears – Her new album due NOVEMBER 13th will be titled “Blackout”, which does NOT refer to passing out from over-imbibing but rather to ‘blocking out negativity & embracing life fully’ (has anyone ever used the term in that context?). Meantime, her Beverly Hills CA home has reportedly been burgled, with thieves swiping an X-rated collection of steamy photos, videotapes, and dominatrix-style costumes. Could that be the reason she called her mommy on the weekend for a reconciliation after months of estrangement?
• DMX – The 3 dogs found buried at his Arizona home in AUGUST may have died from extreme heat after the compound’s air-conditioning broke down, according to the latest police report.
• Ginuwine – The R&B singer has filed a $4-million a lawsuit claiming he was duped into signing a contract with a record company … that doesn’t exist! No corporate record of the so-called King Music Group Inc can be found and he’s yet to see any of the $1.75 million signing bonus. Um, maybe you oughta see about finding a new manager?
• Led Zeppelin – Ticketing for their upcoming reunion concert at London’s O2 Arena is in upheaval. Promoter Harvey Goldsmith is threatening to cancel ticket codes awarded to successful draw entrants that were subsequently sold online for up to $6,000. But fans who paid for the codes believe they have legal ownership of the tickets and are threatening to sue.
• Ian Tyson – The ‘73-year-old Canadian folk/country legend is being honored with TODAY’s release of “The Gift: A Tribute to Ian Tyson“, a compilation album featuring performances by Blue Rodeo, Gordon Lightfoot, Jennifer Warnes, Ramblin’ Jack Elliott, and others.
• Rascal Flatts – “Still Feels Good” is their 3rd consecutive #1 album debut and has racked up the highest 1-week sales of any country album so far THIS YEAR.
• Spice Girls – Their first new single in 7 years will be called “Headlines”, which Geri Halliwell describes as a ‘big love song’. Meantime, Italian designer Roberto Cavalli is creating the costumes for their upcoming tour, and Diddy is said to be designing special jewel-encrusted, bulletproof tour buses.

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila“ (MTV) – TV’s 1st ‘bisexual dating show’ debuts, in which 16 men & 16 women compete for a chance to get romantic with the Internet sensation who’s made a name for herself as the ‘Madonna of MySpace’.
• Billy Ray Cyrus/Miley Cyrus – They perform the duet “Ready, Set, Don’t Go” on the “Dancing With the Stars” results show (ABC/CTV). The single will be released to country radio immediately following their performance on the show.
• Emerson Drive – A public memorial is being held in Nashville TN TODAY for former bass player Patrick Bourque who died suddenly at his home in Montréal SEPTEMBER 26th.
• Jennifer Lopez – She guests on both “Good Morning America” (ABC) and “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS).
• Pat Monahan – The Train frontman promotes his 1st solo album, “Last of Seven”, on the  “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV).
• Paul Anka – The Canadian oldies icon is on “The View” (ABC).
• Timbaland – He appears on daytime drama “One Life to Live” (ABC/A Channel), performing his hit single “The Way I Are”.
• Tori Amos – She kicks off the 50-city North American leg of her world tour in Albany NY.
• Vanessa Carlton – She’s a guest on “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV).

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Evan Almighty” ( Comedy ): Steve Carell (“40-Year-Old Virgin”/”The Office”) reprises his role as preening newscaster ‘Evan Baxter’ in this sequel to the 2003 Jim Carrey hit “Bruce Almighty”.  This time ‘God’ (Morgan Freeman) instructs the newly-elected Congressman to build a giant ark, which he does … leading everyone around him to think he’s nuts. Co-stars Lauren Graham (“Gilmore Girls”). At $200 million-plus, it’s said to be the most costly comedy ever made.
• “Reign Over Me” ( Drama ): Adam Sandler plays it straight as a guy who goes into a severe depression after losing his family in the 9/11 terrorist attacks. Fortunately, an old college roommate (Don Cheadle) does his best to bring him back. Jada Pinkett Smith, Liv Tyler, and Donald Sutherland co-star. Soundtrack includes Pearl Jam, The Killers, and The Fray.
• “Rise: Blood Hunter” ( Horror Thriller ): In this supernatural thriller, a female reporter wakes up in a morgue to find herself a member of the ‘undead’. She vows revenge against the sect that put her there and embarks on a mission to hunt them down. Stars Lucy Liu, Robert Forster, and Cameron Richardson.
• “Surf’s Up” ( Animated Family ): Working from a novel premise – that penguins invented surfing – this mockumentary-style comedy follows a camera crew as they go behind-the-scenes at the ‘Penguin World Surfing Championship’. Features the voices of Jeff Bridges, Jon Heder, Jane Krakowski, Shia LaBeouf, Michael McKean, and James Woods.
• “28 Weeks Later” ( Sci-Fi Thriller ): 6 months after a virus has annihilated the UK, the US Army declares the war against the infection has been won. But one person in the first wave of returning refugees unwittingly carries a terrible secret … the virus is not yet dead, and this time, it is more dangerous than ever. Stars Robert Carlyle (“The Full Monty”) and Rose Byrne (“Marie Antoinette”). Also available in a “28 Days/28 Weeks Later Two-Pack Collection”.
• Also released TODAY: “CSI: NY – Seasons 1-3“; “Degrassi High: The Complete Collection”; “Elvis Collection” (various films); “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner: 40th Anniversary Edition”; “Hannah Montana: Life’s What You Make It”; “Poltergeist (25th Anniversary Edition); and “Roots: The Complete Collection” (classic TV miniseries).

PREPOSTEROUS PRIZES:
The 17th annual “Ig-Nobel Prize Ceremony” at Harvard University in Cambridge MA has handed out the satirical alternative to the “Nobel Prizes” by honoring thinkers who are either ‘eccentrically brilliant’ or ‘brilliantly eccentric’. They usually involve amusing or improbable research. The 2007 winners include …
• A British-American medical team for their penetrating medical report … “Sword Swallowing & Its Side Effects”.
• A pair of researchers from Harvard U and Chile for studying … how sheets become wrinkled.
• A Dutch professor for doing a census of all the mites, insects, spiders, crustaceans, bacteria, algae, ferns, and fungi with whom we share our beds each night.
• A chemist at the International Medical Center of Japan for developing a way to extract vanilla fragrance and flavoring …  from cow dung.
• A Spanish linguistics research team for showing that rats sometimes can’t tell the difference between a person speaking Japanese backwards and a person speaking Dutch backwards.
• Australian linguist Glenda Browne for her penetrating study of the word ‘the’ and the ways it causes problems for someone trying to put things in alphabetical order.
• Air Force Wright Laboratory for research & development of a chemical weapon designed to make enemy soldiers irresistible to each other … the so-called ‘gay bomb’.
NET: http://improbable.com/

HIP-HOP CASH KINGS:
The wealthiest rappers in the biz, based on their incomes over the past year …
5. Dr Dre (Andre Young) … $20 million
4. Timbaland (Timothy Mosley) … $21 million
3. Diddy (Sean Combs) … $28 million
2. 50 Cent (Curtis Jackson) … $32 million
1. Jay-Z (Shawn Carter) … $34 million
– Forbes.com

CASTING THE WEB:
BT Group (British Telecommunications) is attempting to create the world’s largest wi-fi network by persuading millions of its customers to turn their wireless hubs at home into public hot-spots, something that would create blanket urban Internet coverage. (If you’re paying for broadband service that you use in your home with a router … would YOU be willing to give it away?)
– “Financial Times”

HELL-HOLES ON EARTH:
Has the local smog got you down this morning? Be thankful you don’t live in the world’s worst polluted places, as tabulated by the environmental watchdog group the Blacksmith Institute …
• Sumgayit, Azerbaijan
• Linfen and Tianying, China
• Sukinda and Vapi, India
• La Oroya, Peru
• Dzerzhinsk and Norilsk, Russia
• Chernobyl, Ukraine
• Kabwe, Zambia.
NET: http://blacksmithinstitute.org/site10h.php
– “Curious Times”

LIFE BY THE NUMBERS:
A BS snapshot of who we are and what we do …
• 82% of children have lied to their parents about brushing their teeth.
• 75% of men & 66% of women admit to fantasizing about a partner in some sort of uniform.
• 58% of women say their man’s worst habit is habitual TV channel changing.
• 56% of women have used a curling iron as a microphone while singing in the bathroom.
• 50% of North Americans think it’s okay to live at home until your late 20s.
• 42% of Canadian households served ‘turkey and/or turkey products’ for Thanksgiving.
• 20% of men say their ‘ultimate dream in life’ would be to live without debt.

SCIENTISTS SAY:
A BS compendium of recent ‘discoveries’ …
• Scientists say … women sleep less soundly when they share a bed with a romantic partner. Why? Women are naturally lighter sleepers because they historically have been the ones caring for infants, and they are also easily bothered by snorers (hello, guys).
• Scientists say … the best defence against an asteroid hitting Earth may be … mirrors. Yep, it seems giant mirrors sent into space might reflect the Sun’s rays to heat up the asteroid and knock it off course. (There’s no word if smoke will also be considered as an option.)
• Scientists say … new moms now survive on an average of 3-and-a-half hours sleep per night for the first 4 months after their babies are born, and don’t get much more until their kids reach 18-months-old. Why are today’s moms only getting half as much sleep as their own mothers did? A “Mother & Baby” magazine poll finds hi-tech gadgets such as baby alarms, breathing sensors, and video monitors are at least partly to blame. (Ah, progress!)

DID YOU KNOW?
Some Hong Kong restaurants that offer all-you-can-eat specials have begun fining customers who leave leftovers on their plates … by the ounce.
– CSMonitor.com

BS CHRONOMETER 10.09.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1948 [59] Jackson Browne, Heidelberg, Germany, classic rock musician (“Running On Empty”)

1952 [55] Sharon Osbourne (Arden), London UK, talent manager/TV personality (“The Osbournes”, “The X-Factor” in the UK)/Mrs Ozzy Osbourne since 1982

1953 [54] Tony Shalhoub, Green Bay WI, TV actor (3 Emmy Awards for ‘Adrian Monk’ on “Monk”)

1979 [28] Brandon Routh, Des Moines IA, movie actor (“Superman Returns”)

1992 [15] Tyler James Williams, Westchester County NY, TV actor (‘Chris’ on “Everybody Hates Chris” since 2005)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Fire Prevention Day”, a highlight of the annual observance of “Fire Prevention Week”. Why TODAY? It marks the anniversary of the ‘Great Chicago Fire of 1871′, the disaster that began a movement toward fire prevention as an adjunct to firefighting.

• “Hispanic Heritage Day”, a highlight of “Hispanic Heritage Month”. According to the US Census Bureau, close to 30 million people in America are of Hispanic origin.

• “International Alan Day”, celebrating anyone with the name ‘Alan’, ‘Allan’, ‘Alannis’, ‘Al’, ‘Allen’ or anything vaguely in the area.

• “John Lennon’s 67th Birth Anniversary” (1940-80), celebrated with the lighting of the “Imagine Peace Tower” in Reykjavik, Iceland. The tower is engraved with the words ‘imagine peace’ in 24 languages. 100,000 wishes from people around-the-world will be placed in capsules and buried around the tower. Yoko Ono says she & Lennon dreamed about the tower 40 years ago. It’s due to be lit annually from his birthday to the anniversary of his death (DECEMBER 8th), but Ono’s hoping it will eventually run permanently.

• “Leif Erikson Day” in Norway and Iceland, commemorating the Viking explorer’s discovery of North America (‘Vinland’) circa 1000 AD … almost 500 years before Columbus.

• “National Carry a Tune Week”, begun as a way to remember the victims of 9/11. Among the songs chosen in the first 6 years: “Amazing Grace”, “Blue Skies”, “This Land Is Your Land”, and – huh? – Michael Jackson’s “Beat It”. (
NET: http://americanmusicpreservation.com/carryatuneweek2007.htm

• “UN World Post Day”, honoring the founding of the Universal Postal Union in 1874. Today the UPU, with 189 member countries, oversees the co-ordination of the global postal service. When was the last time you actually wrote something on a piece of paper and mailed it snail-mail?

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1986 [21] ‘FOX’ TV network debuts (“The Late Show”, starring Joan Rivers)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1946 [61] 1st ‘Electric Blanket’ (Simmons Company charges $39.50)

2003 [04] New peach-colored US $20 bill goes into circulation, featuring enhanced security features & background colors

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1996 [11] World’s ‘Largest Grilled Cheese Sandwich’ (a 3,000-lb monster made by Kraft Foods)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] International Day for Natural Disaster Reduction
[Thurs] Emergency Nurses Day
[Fri] International Moment Of Frustration Scream Day
[Fri] Farmers Day
[Fri] World Egg Day
[Fri] Bring Your Teddy Bear to Work Day
This Week Is … Improve Your Home Office Week
This Month Is … Adopt-A-Shelter-Dog Month

BULL’S BITS

BS PHONE STARTER:
What would you worry about losing most if you were involved in a divorce? (According to a new poll, 28% of men would worry about the custody of the children, 23% would panic about their cars, and just 19% would fight for their house.)

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I’d lift weights … but they’re so darn heavy.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: The average driver spends approximately 2 hours, 14 minutes doing THIS in the car in a lifetime.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Kissing.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Plan to be more spontaneous tomorrow.