Monday, October 8, 2007 Edition: #3629
Get Your BS Here, Hot ‘N Fresh!
WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:
• She’s done it again! 40-year-old Pamela Anderson has wed longtime pal Rick Salomon. For a small ceremony at the Mirage Hotel in Vegas SATURDAY night, she wore a white denim Valentino dress. It’s her 3rd marriage (following Tommy Lee and Kid Rock). 38-year-old Salomon is divorced from actress Shannen Doherty, but is most famous for shooting and then blatantly selling the spicy video that made Paris Hilton a household name. (Pam sure can pick ‘em, huh?)
– PR-Inside.com
• Online scalping is becoming a huge prob’! Arkansas Attorney-General Dustin McDaniel is probing online ticket sales for Miley Cyrus’ upcoming tour because online prices are outstripping those demanded for the likes of The Police and Bruce Springsteen. Parents are complaining they’re unable to get tickets to the “Hannah Montana” star’s tour because they’ve sold out within minutes. McDaniel is concerned that ticket brokers & resellers are using computer software to breach online sales systems. (Wouldn’t it be strange if it was the Miley Cyrus tour that finally shut this down?)
– AntiMusic.com
• Who in heaven booked this show? “American Idol” alum Clay Aiken is caught up in another controversy after parishioners at a Wichita, Kansas church where he’s set to perform a Christmas concert NOVEMBER 26th are demanding assurances that he isn’t gay. (Come on ya thumpers, get in the spirit! “Now we don our gay apparel fa-la-la-la-la ….”)
– “National Enquirer”
• Should celebs be able to buy ‘Bonehead Insurance’? Demi Moore & Ashton Kutcher are said to be angry and embarrassed that candid snap of them may become circulated online. The photos, taken on a cellphone Kutcher lost in Spain a few months ago, include nude shots of Moore posing on a bed. Word has it the man who found the phone in the back of a cab is offering the snaps to sleazy websites … for $1 million. The lost phone also contained phone numbers of the couple’s celeb pals. (Simple solution. You were dumb enough to lose your phone so negotiate a price to get it back. It’s pocket change to Ashton.)
– StarPulse News Blog
• After 2 months of treatment, 21-year-old Lindsay Lohan has checked out of the Cirque Lodge rehab facility in Utah. Her mother Dina says she’s proud of Li-Lo because she took action when things were getting out of control and now she’s moving ahead with her life. (So what date are you picking in the ‘Rehab IV’ pool?)
– People.com
• A week after it was seized by attorneys for the Fred Goldman family as part of their wrongful death settlement, OJ Simpson is getting his Rolex watch back because … it’s a fake. Examination by a jeweler showed it to be nothing more than a knock-off made in China. (If you wanna make money off his stuff, better to seize his cutlery.)
– FoxNews.com
• New figures from Nielsen Research show the major broadcast TV networks have collectively lost 7% of their audience during the 1st full week of the Fall season compared to the same week a year ago, and 15% compared to 2 years ago. (Is the problem media fragmentation … or just crap shows?)
– ContactMusic.com
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Bruce Springsteen – He & wife Patti Scialfa are being sued for allegedly backing out of a contract to buy a horse worth $850,000 for their teenage daughter. Olympic equestrian Todd Minikus, who filed the breach of contract lawsuit, claims Mr & Mrs BS simply got cold feet.
• Garth Brooks – The big guy’s back in a big way. SATURDAY he sold out 9 concerts at Kansas City MO’s new 18,000-seat Sprint Center. The NOVEMBER 14th show, originally planned as a Wal-Mart employees event, was thrown open to the public and more shows were added one-by-one until Brooks’ previous obligations prevented any further additions.
• Janet Jackson – She’s writing about her fluctuating weight battles in a currently untitled book which will also include nutritional diet tips.
• Justin Timberlake – He’s just landed himself a membership at the exclusive Mountain Gate Country Club in LA after waiting for a hard-to-come-by vacancy.
• Li’l Wayne – The 25-year-old rapper, real name Dwayne Carter Jr, has been arrested & jailed in Boise ID for being a fugitive on drug charges in Georgia.
• Lily Allen — The “LDN” singer is set to make her movie acting debut in a spoof movie based on Jane Austen’s classic novel “Pride & Prejudice”.
• Madonna – Her plan to add a 2nd Malawian child to her family, 13-month-old orphan Mercy James, may be stymied as the child’s uncle is attempting to block the move. She & film director husband Guy Richie successfully adopted son David Banda from Malawi LAST YEAR.
• Rod Stewart – The 62-year-old says he’s preparing himself to be a father of 8 because his 37-year-old model-photographer wife Penny Lancaster wants another baby.
• Smashing Pumpkins – Billy Corgan is helping set up a museum dedicated to late electronic synthesizer pioneer Dr Robert Moog. Moog synthesizers were one of the first widely-used electronic musical instruments.
• U2 – Bono’s daughter was the target of an $8-million kidnap plot when she was just 4-years-old, according to a new book by the daughter of Irish gangster Martin ‘The General’ Cahill. The author claims it was her father, nicknamed ‘The General’, who vetoed the 1994 plan.
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• Kid Rock – He says stars who moan about the paparazzi are hypocrites, as they only have themselves to blame for attracting attention. Hear hear! TONIGHT he guests on “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS).
• Modest Mouse – They perform on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC).
• matchbox 20 – They continue their media rounds, appearing on both the “Today Show” (NBC) and the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated).
• “2007 Hip Hop Honors” (VH1) – This annual salute to hip-hop innovators & icons will include appearances by Busta Rhymes, Ciara, Eve, Ice-T, Missy Elliott, Nelly, Nelly Furtado, Ne-Yo, Pharrell Williams, Snoop Dogg, TI, Timbaland, and T-Pain among others.
NO-SNORE PILLOW:
A German scientist claims he’s come up with a solution for snoring – a computerized pillow that alters the head’s sleeping position until the noise stops. The pillow reduces or enlarges its air compartments to facilitate nasal airflow and thereby minimize snoring as the user shifts during sleep, according to its inventor Daryoush Bazargani. (Or if that doesn’t work, simply hold it over the snorer’s face and press firmly for about 3 minutes.)
– Reuters
FEATURE FILM:
The UK government is helping to fund an innovative project to create a solar power film which could be used to cover buildings, roofs, and even windows in order to generate cheap electricity. It’s estimated that within a decade, the ‘photovoltaic’ film, which would use organic compounds to make the power, could provide enough energy to save more than 1 million tons of carbon dioxide emissions per year. (What a handy wrap!)
– BBC News
TITILLATING PHONE CALLS:
Japanese guru Hideto Tomabechi has come up with a cellphone ringtone which he claims helps women’s breasts grow larger. He says it does that by using ‘positive brainwashing‘, subliminal sounds which make the brain and body move unconsciously. At least one consumer is endorsing the bizarre invention. A woman who admits she was dubious at first says her 34-inch bust incredibly grew to 35 inches after just 1 week. Tomabechi is currently working on other tones designed to help people quit smoking, combat baldness and … find a lover. (That one will cost you 2.99 a minute.)
– “The Register”
PEPPER PAINKILLER:
Scientists have developed an anesthetic from a chemical found in chilies that can block pain without affecting a person’s movement or mental awareness. Capsaicin is thought to relieve pain without disrupting other biological functions, and is expected to be used as an alternative to epidurals during childbirth. (“Your labor pains are now 1 minute apart. Do you want the 6-inch hypo jabbed into your lower spine … or a teaspoon of salsa?”)
– “The Times”
BY THE DAWN’S EARLY STRESS:
A new survey of some 1,000 adults finds that 1-in-5 people feels stressed even before having breakfast. The biggest stress factors cited are ‘money worries’, followed by ‘work pressures’ and ‘relationships’. The poll also suggests up to half the population struggles to sleep at night. (Best way not to be stressed first thing in the morning … sleep in!)
– “Daily Telegraph”
THIS’LL FIX YOU:
A professor of bio-medical engineering at the Institute of Technology in Delhi, India may have invented the next big thing in birth control. The ‘Reversible Inhibition of Sperm Under Guidance’ (RISUG) is, he claims, the perfect contraceptive for men which can render them incapable of fertility for about 10 years. So far, RISUG has been tested without any problems on 250 volunteers, and if clinical testing continues to be positive, it will be on the market in India NEXT YEAR. So how’s it work? A simple injection into a region of a guy’s anatomy where he wouldn’t usually let himself be injected. (Ow … did you just feel a twinge?)
– Alternet.org
THE SMELLEPHONE:
Germany’s Siemens Mobile is developing a cellphone with a tiny sensor that alerts users if they’ve got bad breath or body odor. The tiny microchip examines the air in the immediate vicinity of the phone for anything odorous from bad breath to alcohol to gas levels. Soon you’ll be able to check your voicemail and your breath at the same time. (Let me show you this prototype, [co-host]. SFX: loud claxon)
– “Wired”
BS AMAZING FACT:
Siblings with one shared parent can marry in Sweden. (So your mom can also be your aunt.)
– PopBitch.com
AND WE QUOTE:
“I know there are music genres, mostly heavy metal, that can provoke – combined with some hallucinogens – young people to jump out of the windows of cars while driving at high speed. I’m opposed to that kind of music.”
– Iran’s Minister of Culture, Mohamed Hosein Sarrar-Harandi, explaining the problem with rock & roll to Spanish newspaper “El Pais”.
BS CHRONOMETER 10.08.07
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1943 [64] Chevy (Cornelius Crane) Chase, Woodstock NY, movie actor (“Vacation” series)
1943 [64] RL Stine, Columbus OH, scary children’s author (“Goosebumps” series)
1949 [58] Sigourney (Susan) Weaver, NYC, movie actress (“Alien” series)
1968 [39] Emily Procter, Raleigh NC, TV actress (‘Calleigh Duquesne’ on “CSI: Miami” since 2002, “The West Wing” 2000-06)
1970 [37] Matt Damon, Cambridge MA, movie actor (“The Bourne Ultimatum”, “The Departed”/screenwriter (1998 Oscar-“Good Will Hunting”)
1993 [14] Angus T Jones, Austin TX, TV actor (‘Jake Harper’ on sitcom “Two & a Half Men” since 2003)
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Columbus Day” in America, a lame excuse for a holiday if there ever was one. It commemorates Christopher Columbus’ October 12th, 1492 ‘discovery of the New World’, which had already been discovered by Vikings, Siberians, Aboriginals, Aztecs and many others centuries before. It’s a holiday in DC and for all federal employees, observed on the 2nd MONDAY in OCTOBER since 1971. The odds of you having a holiday today seem to increase the closer you live to the Eastern Seaboard. We think all Americans should get the day off!
• “Indigenous Peoples’ Day”, observed annually on the 2nd MONDAY in OCTOBER to recognize those who lived in this land before the arrival of Columbus and the so-called ‘discovery’ of America.
• “Thanksgiving Day” in Canada, a yearly tradition since 1879. It was originally celebrated at the same time as in the US, but was eventually moved to the 2nd MONDAY of OCTOBER to reflect the earlier harvest season.
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1967 [40] 1st ‘Breathalyzer’ test for alcohol consumption is used on a speeding motorist
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1978 [29] ‘World’s Largest Pizza’ measures 80 feet in diameter (Glens Falls NY)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] John Lennon Peace Tower lighting (Reykjavik, Iceland)
[Wed] International Day for Natural Disaster Reduction
[Thurs] Emergency Nurses Day
[Fri] Bring Your Teddy Bear to Work Day
THIS WEEK IS . . .
American Beer Week / Bookkeeper’s Week / Business Woman’s Week / Employ the Handicapped Week / Fashion Week / Fire Prevention Week / 4-H Week / Home-Based Business Week / International Letter Writing Week / Metric Week / Newspaper Week / Pasta Week / Pet Peeve Week / Respect Life Week / School Lunch Week
BULL’S BITS
REAL BUT REALLY WEIRD COUNTRY MUSIC TITLES:
– “I Liked You Better Before I Got to Know You So Well”
– “If I Had Shot You When I First Wanted To, I’d Be Out of Prison by Now”
– “Her Teeth Was Stained but Her Heart Was Pure”
– “It’s Hard to Kiss the Lips at Night That Chewed Your Ass out All Day Long”
– “I Ain’t Never Gone to Bed With Ugly Women, But I’ve Sure Woke Up With a Few”
AMERICA BY THE NUMBERS:
• The average American household has 26 stuffed animals. (One of them being a turkey each NOVEMBER.)
• Americans throw away 570 disposable diapers per second … 49 million per day. (And nobody seems to give a crap!)
• Half of the world’s lawyers come from the USA. (If you don’t believe it, sue me!)
• Americans spend more money on dog food every year than baby food. (Around here, we just mix ‘em together to make things simple … Gerber & Bits, come and get it!)
• The average American eats 30 lbs of cheese per year. (Packers fans just WEAR it.)
• 9 million Americans held a party to celebrate their dog’s birthday last year. (“Happy birthday dear Killer …”)
BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
What is the chief export of the island nation of Nauru [now-ROO] in the western Pacific?
a. Edible grubs.
b. Rats.
c. Bird poop. [CORRECT. If you’re in need of guano, Nauru’s just the ticket!]
BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s your favorite food combo? (Spaghetti & meatballs? Mac & cheese? Peanut butter & jelly? Roast turkey & chocolate sauce?)
BS RANDOM JOKE:
I get car sickness from just looking at the sticker price.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: There are now 75 million of these in America; that’s 1 for every 4 people.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Dogs, according to the “NY Times”.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The early worm gets devoured by the early bird.