Friday, October 12, 2018 – Edition: #6312
Ahhh, Some BS to Look Forward to In the Morning!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ TMZ is reporting that Selena Gomez has been hospitalized twice in the last 2 weeks … and the second time she suffered what sources called an “emotional breakdown” Gomez is now at a mental health facility for treatment. She was at her Studio City, CA home the last week of September when the first emergency hit. She is said to have been despondent and emotional over an alarmingly low white blood cell count in the wake of her kidney transplant. Sources say a family member drove her to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in L.A. She was released days later but had to be re-admitted late last week because her low blood cell count persisted.
-TMZ
★ Verne Troyer’s official cause of death has been determined — and the actor was killed by one of his greatest demons. According to the L.A. County Coroner, although the “Austin Powers” star died from chronic alcohol abuse. His death has been ruled suicide by alcohol intoxication. Troyer dealt with alcohol issues throughout his life, and even publicly addressed his issues after his infamous stints on reality TV showcased his drinking.
-TheBlast
★ Montel Williams is opening up for the first time about the details surrounding his hospitalization earlier this year. Williams ended up spending 21 days in the hospital — nine in ICU — after he suffered a medical emergency following a workout in New York City. Williams says that he “had what they call a hemorrhagic stroke.” According to the National Stroke Association, only 15 percent of all strokes are categorized as hemorrhagic but they are responsible for about 40 percent of all stroke deaths. Williams said he “almost died” as a result.
-TheBlast
★ Teresa Giudice‘s worst nightmare has become a heartbreaking reality. An immigration court judge ruled on Wednesday that “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” star’s jailbird husband Joe will be deported to his native Italy after completing his prison sentence. Judge John Ellington of Pennsylvania’s York Immigration court announced that, “Based upon the law, I find you deportable and ineligible for any kind of relief.”
-RadarOnline
★ Emmy-winning actress Peggy McCay, who portrayed Caroline Brady on “Days of Our Lives” for more than three decades, died Sunday from natural causes. She was 90. In a twist of fate, McCay’s passing comes just weeks after the death of her long-time “Days” leading man Frank Parker.
-MSN
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Alec Baldwin, Anthony Mackie, LeClerc Andre
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): John Krasinski, Yvonne Orji (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Kenan Thompson, Jameela Jamil, a performance by the Broadway cast of “Mean Girls”, Daxx Nielsen (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Mel B, Dr. Phil McGraw, Olivia Munn, Good Charlotte (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Amanda Peet, guest co-host Yvette Nicole Brown
• “The Talk” (CBS): Grant Show, Skyler Samuels, guest co-host Roselyn Sanchez
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Jeff Daniels, Rachel Bloom, Adam Trent
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Ryan Gosling, Lenny Kravitz
• “Blindspot” (NBC): Season 4 premiere
• “Dynasty” (CW): Season 2 premiere
• “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend” (CW): Season 4 premiere
SATURDAY-
• “Under the Autumn Moon” (HALLMARK): An executive convinces her boss that a ranch would be perfect for their company retreat, and he agrees to let her check it out. However, her plan hits a snag when the owner refuses to sell unless she can promise to preserve its history.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC): Host Seth Meyers, with musical guest Paul Simon
SUNDAY-
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Quad Webb-Lunceford, Tamar Braxton
• “The Alec Baldwin Show” (ABC): The premiere features Robert De Niro and Taraji P. Henson
• “Charmed” (CW): Series premiere
• “Supergirl” (CW): Season 4 premiere
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Lady Gaga — has written an emotionally-charged essay on mental health and suicide, as part of Mental Health Awareness Week. She says that she hopes to spark a “new movement”. The opinion piece, co-written with the director-general for the World Health Organization, calls for governments and industry to put mental health at the top of their agendas.
• Drake — is already mapping out plans for his rap retirement because he doesn’t want to “overstay” his welcome. He says that knowing when to bow out of the music industry is something he’s always had at the back of his mind. He tells LeBron James in a preview of the basketball player’s new talk show “The Shop” that: “I think maybe one of the biggest concerns in my career is just to figure out how to exit gracefully.”
• Mariah Carey — her most recent performance has divided fans over whether or not she was lip syncing. She debuted her new song, ‘With You’ at the AMAs, and viewers immediately began the debate.
• Fleetwood Mac — Lindsey Buckingham has revealed the details of why he was fired from the group. In a new interview, he claims Stevie Nicks handed the band a him-or-me ultimatum after she felt slighted by his actions during their performance together at the 2018 MusiCares Person of the Year benefit in January. The band apparently chose Nicks over Buckingham. Buckingham is said to have been ‘smirking’ while Nicks was speaking.
• John Lennon – Yoko Ono has unveiled a stripped-down cover of his classic ‘Imagine’ ahead of the release of her new covers album “Warzone”, and to celebrate what would have been the singer’s 78th birthday this week. She says that song is the only one on the album that she was “nervous” about.
• Joe Perry – The Aerosmith guitarist has announced a 10-date U.S. tour with his band of friends, including Aerosmith colleague Brad Whitford and Extreme singer Gary Cherone. They will start in Sioux City, Iowa, on Nov. 30 and wrap up in Agoura Hills, CA on Dec. 16.
• George Strait – has just two Vegas dates remaining in 2018, but has announced his plans to extend “Strait to Vegas” into the new year. He’ll return to T-Mobile Arena for two shows on February 1 and 2. Strait began his wildly successful run in Las Vegas in 2016.
• Luke Bryan – His 5th annual “Crash My Playa” concerts on January 23–26 in Riviera Maya, Mexico, are taking shape with the announcement of headliner Thomas Rhett and performers Dustin Lynch and Lauren Alaina. Bryan will headline two nights, including his ‘Luke and Friends’ set. Additional artists will be revealed in the coming weeks.
TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “First Man” (PG-13, Drama): A look at the life of astronaut Neil Armstrong and the legendary space mission that led him to becoming the first man to walk on the Moon on July 20, 1969. (Ryan Gosling, Claire Foy)
• “Bad Times at the El Royale” (R-Rated, Mystery/Suspense): Seven strangers, each with a secret to bury, meet at Lake Tahoe’s El Royale, a rundown hotel with a dark past. Over the course of one fateful night, everyone has a last shot at redemption – before everything goes to hell. (Dakota Johnson, Chris Hemsworth)
• “Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween” (PG, Comedy/Horror): Halloween comes to life in a comedy adventure based on R.L. Stine’s 400-million-selling series of books. (Wendi McLendon-Covey, Jack Black)
• “Beautiful Boy” (R-Rated, Drama): Based on the best-selling memoirs of father and son David and Nic Sheff, Beautiful Boy chronicles the heartbreaking and inspiring experience of survival, relapse, and recovery in a family coping with addiction. (Steve Carell, Timothée Chalamet)
• “The Oath” (R-Rated, Comedy): In a politically divided America, a man struggles to make it through the Thanksgiving holiday without destroying his family. (Tiffany Haddish, Ike Barinholtz)
• “The Happy Prince” (R-Rated, Drama): The untold story of the last days in the tragic times of Oscar Wilde, who observes his own failure with ironic distance and regards his difficulties with detachment and humor. (Rupert Everett, Colin Firth)
FINISH WHAT I STARTED:
Have you had a chance to play with Google’s new ‘Smart Compose’ feature yet? The Gmail service, which was announced in May, was recently rolled out to a larger group of users. It’s a little freaky, a little creepy. It doesn’t exactly compose your emails for you, but as it learns what you typically write, and how you write it, it starts to get pretty close. The program uses machine learning techniques to evaluate what you are typing — and then suggests what to type next based on that analysis. Gmail’s text suggestions appear in slightly lighter gray type at the end of the sentence you are writing. If you want to accept the computer-generated words, you can, and then move on to the next sentence. In theory, the Smart Compose tool can speed up your message composition and cut down on typos.
(How difficult could it be to predict my emails? I’m not exactly writing Shakespeare!)
(Really, its not much of a stretch. Google always knows what I’m searching for before I do!)
(No way! I’ve already seen the kind of trouble that auto-correct can get me into….!)
-NYTimes, The Guardian
TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
► A Jacksonville, FL gas station owner has placed a sign in his store asking customers not to warm urine in the microwave. Parul Patel says he is “sick and tired” of people walking into his gas station and convenience store for the sole purpose of heating up their containers of urine. The store is within walking distance of two labs, at least one of which collects samples for drug tests. Patel says a woman became aggressive a few months ago when he asked her not to warm urine. She asked to see a sign that says she shouldn’t. So, he made one.
(Would you believe me if I told you this is happening at a “BP” gas station?)
► Marine mammal veterinarian Claire Simeone was at lunch when she got a call from the hospital where she works. There was silence on the other end. Nine more silent calls followed. Fearing an emergency, she rushed back. After it was determined that it was a false alarm, she found out that others were receiving similar phantom calls. By the hundreds. From the same hospital phone line. A phone company rep tried to talk her through finding a possible line on the fritz. She walked into a lab and found the culprit. A gecko was perched on a phone, making calls to everyone in the recent call history with “HIS TINY GECKO FEET,” as she wrote in a Twitter thread the next day.
(A gecko? At least he’s probably well-insured!)
► Police had to remove a woman who brought an “emotional support squirrel” on a Frontier Airlines flight headed from Orlando, Florida, to Cleveland. The airline says the passenger had noted in her reservation that she was bringing an emotional support animal with her. But she did not indicate it was a squirrel. A statement from Frontier notes that “Rodents, including squirrels, are not allowed on Frontier flights.” The airline says police were called when the passenger refused to leave the plane.
(You can take the person out of Florida…)
-FOX, NationalPost
BS CHRONOMETER 10.12.18
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1968 [50] Hugh Jackman, Sydney, Australia, movie actor (“Deadpool”, “Wolverine”) COMING UP…”Broadway 4D” 2018
1969 [49] Martie Maguire (Martha Erwin), York PA, country singer/fiddle player (Dixie Chicks-‘Landslide’, ‘Wide Open spaces’/Court Yard Hounds-‘The Coast’)/sister of Dixie Chick Emily Robison
1970 [48] Kirk Cameron, Los Angeles CA, TV actor (‘Mike Seaver’ on “Growing Pains” 1985-1992)
1986 [32] Tyler Blackburn, Burbank CA, TV actor (‘Caleb’ on “Pretty Little Liars” 2011-2017, “Ravenswood” 2013-14)
1992 [26] Josh Hutcherson, Union KY, movie actor (“The Hunger Games” films)
2004 [14] Darci Lynne Farmer, Oklahoma City, OK, ventriloquist (season 12 winner on “America’s Got Talent)
SATURDAY-
Pop Singer Paul Simon (“Simon & Garfunkel”) is 77; Rock singer Sammy Hagar (‘I Can’t Drive 55’) is 71; TV actress Kate Walsh (“13 Reasons Why”) is 51; Movie actor Sasha Baron Cohen (“Borat”) is 47; R&B singer Ashanti (‘Foolish’) is 38
SUNDAY-
Fashion designer Ralph Lauren is 79; Movie actor Steve Coogan (“A Night at the Museum”) is 53; Country singer Natalie Maines (“Dixie Chicks”) is 44; R&B singer Usher (‘Love in This Club’) is 40
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Farmers Day”, to honor all current farmers and those throughout history to recognize all that they have done to improve our lives. (And when was the last great country song about farmers?)
• “Gumbo Day”, a day to indulge in some good old Louisiana-style cooking. Gumbo is a rich stew usually filled with meat, shellfish, celery, peppers, and onions, served over a bed of rice.
• “World Arthritis Day”, to raise awareness of rheumatic and musculoskeletal diseases (RMDs) and to encourage people with RMDs to seize every opportunity to improve their quality of life. NET: http://worldarthritisday.org
• “International Moment of Frustration Scream Day” when we’re encouraged to go outside at 12 noon and bellow for 30 seconds to vent our frustrations. That way when they’ve locked you up, you’ll feel completely cleansed. (Or, as my neighbors call it, ‘Friday’. And they’re usually about 12 hours early on this…)
• “World Egg Day”, observed annually on the 2nd Friday of October to salute the many uses of chicken embryos. Events are held across the world celebrating the egg.
SATURDAY-
• “International Day for Failure”, a day to show some stupidity, error estimation, awkward moments, and other fails to the world. Why? Without the possibility of failure there is no success, they go hand-in-hand. (So, I’ve got that going for me…)
• “International Plain Language Day”, a day to encourage others to cut through jargon and double-speak to state things simply and clearly. (Never use a large word when a diminutive one will suffice) NET: http://www.iplday.org
• “International African Penguin Awareness Day”, to create awareness of these birds found only in Africa that are facing extinction by 2026. Currently there are only 23,000 breeding pairs left. (There are penguins in Africa?)
• “International Day for Disaster Reduction”, begun by the UN in 1989 as a day to promote a global culture of risk-awareness and disaster reduction. (How are we doing so far?)
• “Silly Sayings Day”, an annual salute to interesting expressions, witty sayings, and odd catchphrases that come and go like fashion. For instance:
-Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you’re done.
-Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along.
-It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid, then say the opposite.
SUNDAY-
• “Bald & Free Day”, honoring those with a beautiful, shiny top. You don’t have to be bald to celebrate; people who are married to, or related to a bald-headed person are also encouraged to celebrate alongside the honoree. (And aren’t you happy that we now have a bald-headed emoji?)
• “Dessert Day”, honoring the tasty treat that tops off dinner. Nowadays just 14% of families regularly consume dessert, as opposed to 24% only 2 decades ago.
• “lowercase day”, a day to write without capitals. your middle school grammar teacher might balk at the idea, but the shift button on your keyboard will thank you for the day off.
• “World Standards Day”, honoring the experts who develop standards for measurement, electronics, and telecommunications worldwide. (If they can’t even agree on a universal electrical plug, it doesn’t seem to be working.)
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2002 [16] More than 25 years after his death, the Elvis Presley album “Elv1s 30 No 1 Hits” debuts at #1 on the ‘Billboard 200 (first Elvis album to ever debut atop the chart)
2005 [13] A 1974 Rolls Royce that belonged to late Queen singer Freddie Mercury is auctioned off on eBay (sells for close to $120,000 … 6 times the estimate)
2013 [05] Pharrell Williams weds model Helen Lasichanh, who inspires several tracks on his 2014 album “GIRL” (including ‘It Girl’)
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2016 [02] Auston Matthews becomes the first player to score 4 goals in his NHL debut. His Toronto Maple Leafs, however, are defeated 5-4 in overtime by the Ottawa Senators
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2003 [15] Michael Schumacher wins his 6th Formula One Drivers’ championship at the Japanese Grand Prix to beat the 48-year-old record held by Juan Manuel Fangio (He retired with 7)
BULL’S BITS
BS WACK FACTS:
✓ When you talk, you spray about 2.5 microscopic saliva droplets per word.
✓ If you kept yelling for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would produce enough sound energy to heat up a cup of tea.
✓ Most toilets flush in E flat.
✓ There are more English speakers in China than in the United States.
✓ Scotland’s national animal is a unicorn.
✓ In 2001, a bull shark bit off a boy’s arm. His uncle saved the boy, dove in after the shark, wrestled it to shore where the shark was shot, retrieved the boy’s arm and it was sewn back on in hospital.
-Short-Funny
BS BAD RESPONSES TO BAD NEWS:
• “Hey! Better him than me!”
• “Can I have the rest of your beer?”
• “Well, hot dang doodle!”
• “Not interested.”
• “This is very sad. Alexa, play Despacito.”
• “He deserved it.”
• “We’re still going out for dinner, right?”
• “You think THAT’S bad….”
• “Cheers, Mate!”
• “Meh.”
• “Congratulations?”
• “Does anyone have video?”
-Twitter
Best of BS:
BS SIGNS YOUR COMPANY WON’T WIN ‘BUSINESS OF THE YEAR’:
• Every employee gets a desk. No chair.
• Your corporate slogan is: “You’ll get it, when we get around to it.”
• Toll-free customer service line is 1-888-GET-HOSED.
• Your company policy of ‘Pants Optional Friday’ has led to numerous employee lawsuits.
• While customers try your clothing on, you like to try theirs on.
• You have to close at 4 pm every day because your mom doesn’t want strangers in the basement during dinner.
• You’ve named your store ‘Crap Mart’.
– First published in “BS” 2010.
BS PHONE STARTER:
What is something that everyone looks stupid doing?
BS RANDOM JOKE:
The big difference between men and women is that if a woman says, “Smell this…” it will usually smell nice.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: Almost 10% of people in THIS profession are seriously injured each year.
Answer: Clowns!
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Laughter may be the best medicine, but they also say that if you laugh for no reason, you need medicine.