Wednesday, October 9, 2019        Edition: #6548

Sheet Happens!

BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
There will be no “BS” service for Monday October 14 to observe Canadian Thanksgiving. All subscribers will receive credit for the missed service day.  The Bull Sheet will resume publication on Tuesday, Oct. 15.

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ The news that Nick Jonas is joining “The Voice” Season 18 broke on Monday’s episode of “The Ellen DeGeneres Show”, with the host spoiling plans to announce it on Tuesday. DeGeneres shared videos from the other returning coaches, including Blake Shelton, who made fun of Jonas’ youth. Jonas is 27 and will be replacing Gwen Stefani, who is 50. The Voice airs Mondays and Tuesdays on NBC.
-PopCulture
★ Alex Trebek says his skills have ”started to diminish” as he continues to battle stage four pancreatic cancer. Despite his diagnosis, Trebek returned to host the 36th season of “Jeopardy!” last month, but now says he isn’t sure how much longer he’ll be able to work on the game show. He said: ”I can be sitting in my dressing room and I get up and I’m not able to move, but then all of a sudden when Johnny says, ‘Now here is the host of Jeopardy!, Alex Trebek,’ (It’s) OK, lets go! I will keep doing it as long as my skills do not diminish, and they have started to diminish.”
-ContactMusic
★ Priyanka Chopra has put herself in the running to be the first female James Bond. She is a massive fan of the British spy drama franchise, and thinks it’s definitely time for a female 007 — and says she’s the perfect candidate. According to her: “I’ve always been keen on (playing James Bond)…I think, in my lifetime it would be amazing to have a female Bond. Whether that’s me or someone else, it’s something I would love to see.”
-Canoe
★ Hilarie Burton and The Walking Dead’s Jeffrey Dean Morgan have officially tied the knot, despite reports that they married a decade ago. The pair have never denied the marriage rumours, and Burton says they kept quiet because they felt married to one another even without the legal papers. They’re parents to nine-year-old son Gus and 19-month-old daughter George (***Correct***).
-ContactMusic
★ CBS Studios has filled some key roles in its miniseries based on former FBI director James Comey’s memoir “A Higher Loyalty.” Jeff Daniels has been cast as Comey, while “Harry Potter” actor Brendan Gleeson will play President Donald Trump in the four-hour series. Comey served as the director of the FBI from 2013 until 2017, when he was fired by President Trump. His book was released in April 2018. No premiere date has been announced.
-MSN

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Howard Stern, Aaron Paul
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Jesse Eisenberg, Hailee Steinfeld, Steve Miller
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Jonathan Van Ness, Brett Gelman, Big Thief, special appearances by Sen. Elizabeth Warren, Sen. Bernie Sanders, Pete Buttigieg
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Ted Danson, Elizabeth Olsen, Diane Von Furstenberg, Steve Gorman
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Adam DeVine, Kieran Culkin, Adam Lambert
• “Lights Out with David Spade” (COMEDY): Brad Garrett, Taran Killam, Leighton Meester
• “Conan” (TBS): Niecy Nash, Gavin Matts (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Paula Abdul, Kameron Westcott
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Susan Rice
• “The Talk” (CBS): Shannen Doherty
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Clive Owen, Shaggy, guest co-host Josh Groban
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Woody Harrelson
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Chloë Grace Moretz, Theresa Caputo, Drew Carey
• “Riverdale” (CW): Season 4 premiere
• “Nancy Drew” (CW): Season 1 premiere. Newcomer Kennedy McMann stars in this adaptation of the classic book series. The first season finds the new grad’s college hopes put on hold when she becomes caught up in a family tragedy and a murder investigation.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Rihanna — is gearing up to release her first book, “Rihanna”. The ‘visual autobiography’ will feature more than 1000 images, including some never-before seen pics of her life, pre-fame to present-day. The large-format edition of the book, which weighs 15 pounds, drops October 24. (Hopefully not literally…)
• Justin Bieber – is feeling the wrath of some Swifties after he mocked her on Instagram Live. Jimmy Fallon recently played a video that Swift’s mom filmed after the star received Lasik surgery, and Bieber yelled: “It’s not the banana that I wanted!” while channeling Swift’s confused, post-surgery state. Fans erupted with opinions about if the imitation was a form of flattery or if Bieber was throwing shade at Taylor.
• Elton John noticed an 11-year-old boy in the front row at his recent Saskatoon show. And, how couldn’t he? Christopher Talbot was wearing a of one of John’s 1970s stage get-ups – a white jacket with feathers radiating from the shoulders. During his encore, John gave the fan a pair of his glasses. Talbot became a fan after seeing the recent biopic “Rocketman”.
• Gary Glitter – The convicted pedophile will make thousands from his song ‘Rock and Roll Part 2’’s inclusion on the “Joker” soundtrack. The song plays for about two minutes in a key scene, which sees Joaquin Phoenix’s Joker dance down a long flight of steps as he transforms into the DC Comics villain. Glitter is currently serving a 16-year jail sentence.
-Canoe
• Avril Lavigne – at her Toronto show on Sunday, she introduced her cousin Bernie to the stage. He brought a young woman with him, and it wasn’t long before he was on one knee with a ring in his hand. Lavigne eventually raised her arm in the air, reporting that “She said yes”, and welcomed her to the family with a hug.
• Alanis Morissette — In a new post on her website, she reveals that since welcoming her youngest child in August, she has suffered from postpartum depression. Quote: “But for all of this preparation—PPD is still a sneaky monkey with a machete—working its way through my psyche and body and days and thoughts and bloodwork levels.”
• The Highwomen — What’s next for the supergroup consisting of four artists with their own busy careers and personal lives? Brandi Carlile says that their future is “unwritten”. Quote: “I think we belong to the time. I think we belong to the culture, and it’ll decide. If it puts us on the road, we’ll be on the road. If we make another record, we make another record.”
• Miranda Lambert — Her MuttNation is helping a Nashville animal shelter by covering their adoption fees. She shared the story on social media, urging fans to adopt an animal, and writing: “[Metro Animal Care and Control] needs y’alls help!…I fell in love with all of their fur babies when I visited a few months ago and you will too!

THE ONE ABOUT CLEANING THE HOUSE:
Earlier in the week, we learned that watching old “Friends” episodes can help with the symptoms of anxiety. Now it’s something a little more strenuous. Housecleaning. You may know someone who is living proof. Someone who, to them, taking a few minutes to sweep the kitchen floor, is just as soothing as meditation. There are a few explanations for why cleaning translates into lower levels of stress and anxiety for some. Darby Saxbe, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Southern California, says that cleaning gives people a sense of mastery and control over their environment. It allows us to assert our will on our living space. People also sometimes turn to rituals—including cleaning—to reduce stress stemming from other parts of their lives.
(I know that when I’m NOT housecleaning, my wife gets anxious!)
(I was going to clean house on Sunday. But then someone commented on my status…)
(Every time I get the urge to clean house, I watch an episode of “Hoarders” and decide my house isn’t so dirty after all!)
-Vice

KIND OF A PIG DEAL:
A farm in China is gaining a lot of attention lately for breeding pigs that are as heavy as a polar bear. One of them, which we are going to go ahead and believe is the largest, is said to weigh in at 500kg (1,102 pounds). At slaughter, some of the giant pigs can sell for more than $1,400, which is more than three times the average monthly disposable income in the province where the farm’s owner lives.  High pork prices are prompting Chinese farmers to raise pigs to be much larger than the normal weight of 125 kg.
(Pork prices may be high, but with polar-bear sized pigs, I don’t foresee a shortage!)
(The problem is that no one has a pan large enough to cook the bacon!)
(Apparently pork bellies are surging!)
-YahooFinance

BELEAF IT OR NOT…
A new study says that your plants may be talking behind your back! The Cornell research project found that goldenrod plants sent out messages through airborne chemicals called volatile organic compounds when they were in danger. Apparently when under attack by a predator such as a leaf beetle, the plants are able to pick up on warning messages from other plants so they are able to “ready their defenses” and fight back with “some pretty nasty chemistry”. In some cases, the plants only communicated with their closest kin, according to the 12-year study.
(So if plants can talk to each other, do they start by saying, “What’s up, Bud?”)
(If I was going to study a plant for 12 years, it sure wouldn’t be goldenrod!)
-NYPost

OUTRAGEOUS WAYS YOUR HOME CAN GET YOU SUED:
⇒ If you clean your gutters without warning:  Homeowners who share a roof (think: condo and co-op life) have to be careful. When one homeowner does work on their roof and gutters, there’s always a risk that the neighbor might complain that they’re now having water leak problems. (OK, I’m good so far…)
⇒ If you throw a summer deck party:  Deck failures usually happen when there is excessive load, such as a party, and an injured guest often leads to a lawsuit. And if the deck wasn’t properly permitted, the homeowner’s insurance company could very well deny the claim, leaving the homeowner liable. (Actually, deck injuries usually happen when the GUEST is overloaded!)
⇒ If your dog barks — ever:  If your dog shows any signs of aggression in the eyes of law (which includes growling or barking), they’re considered possibly dangerous. A Seattle family was fined $500,000 over their barking dog.
⇒ If you forget about the sidewalks:  An owner may be obligated not only to keep his or her own sidewalk clear, but also the one owned by the government in front the home. A Portland, Oregon family were sued for $63,500 for not shovelling the walkway in front of their home. (Worth it.)
⇒ If you collect water drips in a bucket:  With increasing fear of Zika and other mosquito-borne viruses, anything in a yard that allows water to gather and stagnate might cause someone to blame their neighbor if the area becomes infested with mosquitoes.
⇒ If your kids’ playhouse is the wrong color:  Not only are they potentially dangerous, but the color might offend your neighbors, too. This was the case for a Georgia family that was sued by their homeowners’ association because their daughter’s playhouse was too pink. (Also, they were probably jerks!)
-HouseBeautiful

DID YOU KNOW?
An actor in the Philippines has set an unofficial world record for not blinking for a whopping one hour, 17 minutes and three seconds. Paolo Ballesteros took part in the “No Blinking Challenge” on the TV show “Eat Bulaga!” over the weekend. (And no one looked more surprised than him!)
-NYPost

BS CHRONOMETER 10.09.19

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1952 [67] Sharon Osbourne (Arden), Brixton UK, TV personality (“The Talk” since 2010, “America’s Got Talent” 2007-12, “The X-Factor UK” 2004-13, “The Osbournes” 2002-05)/Mrs. Ozzy Osbourne since 1982

1964 [55] Guillermo del Toro, Guadalajara, Mexico, filmmaker (“The Hobbit” films, “Pan’s Labyrinth”) COMING UP…”Pinocchio” 2021

1973 [46] Steve Burns, Boyertown PA, TV actor (“Blue’s Clues” 1996-2003)

1975 [44] Sean Lennon, New York City NY, musician (the sole offspring of John Lennon and Yoko Ono, and the godson of Sir Elton John.) Born on his father’s 35th birthday

1979 [40] Brandon Routh, Norwalk IA, TV actor (‘Ray Palmer/The Atom’ on “Arrow” 2014-16)/movie actor (“Superman Returns”)

1979 [40] Chris O’Dowd, Boyle Ireland, movie actor (“Bridesmaids”, “Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children”) COMING UP…”The Starling”

1993 [26] Scotty McCreery, Raleigh NC, country singer (‘Five More Minutes’)/“American Idol” Season 10 winner (2011)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Fire Prevention Day”, a highlight of the annual observance of “Fire Prevention Week”. Why today? It marks the anniversary of the ‘Great Chicago Fire of 1871’, the disaster that began a movement toward fire prevention as an adjunct to firefighting.

• “Leif Erikson Day” in Norway and Iceland, commemorating the Viking explorer’s discovery of North America (‘Vinland’) circa 1000 AD … almost 500 years before Christopher Columbus.

• “UN World Post Day”, honoring the founding of the Universal Postal Union in 1874. Today the UPU, with 190 member countries, oversees the co-ordination of the global postal service.

• “Beer and Pizza Day”, paying homage to one of the most iconic food and drink combinations on Earth. (without which, would we even HAVE bowling?)

• “National Sneakers Day”, also known as athletic shoes, tennis shoes, gym shoes, sport shoes, runners, or trainers, sneakers are the most democratic form of footwear owned by almost everybody. There is also a large culture dedicated to the appreciation and collection of athletic and casual footwear.

• “Emergency Nurses Day”, saluting the dedication and commitment of ER nursing professionals, who bring care, comfort, and compassion to patients.

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Hug a Drummer Day
[Thurs] Angel Food Cake Day
[Fri] National Coming Out Day
[Fri] National Sausage Pizza Day

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2006 [13] Google pays more than $1.6 billion for video-sharing website YouTube

2017 [02] Producer Harvey Weinstein is fired from The Weinstein Company after allegations of sexual abuse

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1985 [34] On what would have been John Lennon’s 45th birthday, a section of Central Park in New York City is christened “Strawberry Fields” in his memory.

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2009 [10] Barack Obama becomes the 1st sitting US president since Woodrow Wilson to win the Nobel Peace Prize (before he had even done anything!)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2011 [08] Germany’s 24-year-old Sebastian Vettel of Germany becomes the youngest driver to win the Formula One World Championship … twice

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ Modern brunch was first proposed in 1895 as a post-hangover meal.
✓ Bedding was such a luxury in the Middle Ages that blankets and sheets were written into wills.
✓ It takes a drop of ocean water more than 1,000 years to circulate around the world.
✓ The sound you hear when you put seashell next to your ear is not the ocean, but blood flowing through your brain.
✓ An NFL waterboy makes an average salary of $53,000 a year.
✓ In Colombia, dried ants have replaced popcorn as the typical movie theater snack.
-WhattheFFacts, MentalFloss

BS SQUARE DANCE PROBLEMS:
• People doing the “Safety Dance” instead.
• When you don’t know where Cotton Eye Joe came from, nor where he went.
• Round rooms.
• The only Do-Si-Do most people are familiar with is a Girl Scout cookie.
• Squidward is such a grouch sometimes. Oh, wait..Did you say ‘Square Dance’, or ‘Square Pants’?
• In some circles, the phrase “Swing Your Partner” takes on a whole different meaning.
• I just keep feeling the urge to dance in a triangle.
• Performance-enhancing drugs. Yes, I’m speaking of “Do-Si-Doping”.
• They have a history of violins.
• The simple fact that it exists.
-Twitter
Best of BS . . .
UNUSUAL THANKSGIVING TRADITIONS AT OUR HOUSE:
• Bobbing for giblets.
• Main course — Kraft Dinner & gravy.
• The “Create Kate Upton” mashed potato sculpting contest.
• After-dinner game of road hockey with grandpa’s teeth.
• No dessert until you finish last year’s leftovers!
• The post-dinner methane Olympics.
-First published in ‘BS’ in 2001

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the bravest thing you’ve ever done? (62 items in the supermarket express lane?)

BS RANDOM JOKE:
How many boxes of Thin Mints do I have to eat before I start seeing results?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  24% of pet owners have done THIS. What is it?
Answer:  Put their pet on a diet

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
A smart man notices everything, an ignorant man comments about everything.