The Bull Sheet

October 26, 2010

Tuesday, October 26, 2010              Edition: #4372
Sheet Rocks!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Today kooky squatting couple Randy & Evi Quaid are due back in Santa Barbara CA court to face charges of felony vandalism for breaking into a previous home, but seeing as they’ve been busted for fleeing over the border to Vancouver BC they’re not likely to make this court date either (cocaine or meth?) . . . Today EMI Music is releasing 15 remastered non-Beatles albums from the Apple Records catalogue, including material by Badfinger, Billy Preston, James Taylor, and Mary Hopkin (in both physical & download formats) . . . Forget those split rumors – Sandra Bullock’s ex Jesse James & tattoo artist Kat Von D have been spotted being all lovey-dovey while out to lunch (he’s looking for more free body art) . . . Hair-trigger actor Mel Gibson is said to be ‘furious’ he’s been dropped from “The Hangover 2” in which he was scheduled to have a cameo as a Bangkok tattoo artist (Liam Neeson now has the role) . . . Lindsay Lohan is pleading poverty, saying she can’t afford to stay in rehab as her ‘clothing line is falling apart’ because she’s not available to ‘monitor the product’ (oh hon, that never took off in the first place) . . . 38-year-old actress Cameron Diaz has been spotted out with 31-year-old “Glee” actor Matthew Morrison (‘Will Shuester’), leading to lots of relationship speculation (you should never date a woman who’s recent boyfriend carries a baseball bat) . . . According to E! News, the sex scenes in the next “Twilight” instalment, “Breaking Dawn” (November 18, 2011), will remain intact from the book – and maybe even be expanded (teen girls squeal!) . . . And pseudo-actress Pam Anderson may be 43 but that’s not stopping her from posing for “Playboy” (again), stripping off for her 11th magazine cover in the January issue (she’s taken her clothes off for money so many times her skin’s all chafed.)

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC/CTV) – Another celebrity is eliminated.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – YouTube phenom Greyson Chance (“Paparazzi”).
• “Glee” (FOX/Global) – The much-talked-about “Rocky Horror” episode. It’s been getting so much attention that “Glee” creator Ryan Murphy is being courted to helm an actual “Rocky Horror Picture Show” remake.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Donavon Frankenreiter (“Glow”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – She & Him (“Volume Two”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Underworld (“Barking”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni) – Taylor Swift (“Speak Now”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Taio Cruz (“Rokstarr”).
• “Today Show” (NBC) – Taylor Swift does double duty in New York City.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Jamey Johnson (“The Guitar Song”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Black Eyed Peas – The first single from their upcoming album, “The Beginning” (out November 30th), is titled “The Time (Dirty Bit)”, which features will I am & Fergie covering the chorus from the “Dirty Dancing” theme song “(I’ve Had) The Time Of My Life”.
• The Cars – The 4 surviving members have reunited to record their first album in 23 years, and there are rumblings of a potential reunion tour. The ‘new wave’ band split in 1988.
• “Country Strong” – Today the soundtrack from the upcoming movie (opening January 7th) is released, featuring the Gwyneth Paltrow-Tim McGraw duet “Me & Tennessee” (written by Paltrow’s hubby Chris Martin); plus tracks by Faith Hill; actress Leighton Meester; Sara Evans; Trace Adkins; and Ronnie Dunn, of recently split Brooks & Dunn.
• Easton Corbin – “Roll With It” has become his first ever #1 hit on the “Billboard Country Songs Chart”.
• Jimi Hendrix – Tonight the “Experience Hendrix Tour” that revisits the guitar legend’s tunes kicks off in Pittsburgh PA, with a lineup that includes Aerosmith axeman Brad Whitford, Jonny Lang, Steve Vai, and more.
• Lady Gaga – She’s recorded a duet with Elton John called “Hello, Hello”, which will appear in the upcoming Disney animated movie “Gnomeo & Juliet” (out February 11, 2011).
• Mark Salling – Today the 28-year-old “Glee” actor (‘Puck’) releases his first solo album, “Pipe Dreams”.
• Rihanna – She’s split with her manager Marc Jordan to join Jay-Z’s Roc Nation Management. As part of the move, she’s expected to launch Rihanna Entertainment, merging her music, film, fashion, and other ventures under one umbrella (… ella … ella).
• U2 – Bono reveals they have about a dozen tracks recorded with producer/musician Danger Mouse (Gnarls Barkley, Broken Bells) for their next album, expected out in early 2011.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Back To the Future 25th Anniversary Trilogy” (PG Sci-Fi Fantasy): The original 1985 film & its 2 sequels (1989, 1990) are re-released on Blu-ray. The package boasts 2 hours of extras, including a retrospective documentary, plus 16 deleted scenes.
• “The Girl Who Played With Fire” (R-Rated Mystery Thriller): Noomi Rapace reprises her role as  genius computer hacker ‘Lisbeth Salander’ in this Swedish bigscreen adaptation of the 2nd novel of author Stieg Larsson’s best-selling “Millennium Trilogy”.
• “Sex & The City 2” (R-Rated Romantic Comedy): Sarah Jessica Parker, Kristin Davis , Cynthia Nixon, Kim Cattrall, and Chris Noth are all back for this sequel set in Morocco. Cameos include Liza Minnelli, Miley Cyrus, Penelope Cruz, and fashion guru Tim Gunn (“Project Runway”).
• “You Don’t Know Jack” (HBO-TV Drama): Al Pacino’s Emmy-winning portrayal of Dr Jack Kevorkian, the famed ‘suicide doctor’ who believed in the right of individuals to end their lives after contracting a terminal illness. Co-stars Brenda Vaccaro, John Goodman.
• Also released today: “A Mother’s Courage: Talking Back to Autism” (Documentary); “The Art of Ballet” (Documentary); “Hotel Terminus: The Life & Times of Klaus Barbie” (Documentary); “Star Wars: The Clone Wars – The Complete Season 2” (TV Animation); “The Twilight Zone: Fan Favorites” (Classic TV); and “Ultimate NFL” (Sports Doc).

WORK WOES:
While having a job can improve your outlook on life, having the wrong job can actually make you more miserable. That’s the finding of a new study at Australian National University in Canberra. Stats show that those who’ve moved from unemployment into poor-quality jobs are more likely to be depressed than those who are still unemployed. The researchers suggest that means we not only need to have a job, but one that is satisfying and fits our needs in order to maintain ultimate mental health. (Seems obvious these university eggheads have never had to scratch out a living.)
– PsychCentral.com

HALLOWEEN ABROAD:
In Russia, Halloween has become quite popular, with celebrations in schools and kindergartens, but its rise has not pleased everyone. The Orthodox Church is advising Russians to ignore Halloween and other foreign festivals and pay closer attention to national traditions and costumes. This has led some Moscow schools to ban student celebrations, which they’ve labeled ‘the cult of death’. Elsewhere, Halloween was introduced to Norway at the end of the 1990s, where it’s thought that ‘Donald Duck’ comics helped introduce the holiday. Norwegian children go door-to-door in scary costumes, shouting ‘knask eller knep!’ (Trick or treat!)
– Skyscanner.net

LIFE BY THE NUMBERS:
A BS breakdown of who we are and what we do …
• 47% of teachers were in the bottom third of their graduating college class academically.
• 40% of people who sing in the car also have an air freshener in there.
• 33% of us don’t believe in ‘global warming’.
• 25% of the food we bring into our homes we end up throwing away.
• 23% of 18-44 year-olds think it’s okay to share important news via texting.
• 13% of women believe their engagement ring reflects their social status and their partner’s career success.

STREETSMEAR:
Almost a quarter-million Germans have asked Google to blur pictures of their homes on the Google Maps ‘Street View’ app. As a condition of letting Google operate the service in Germany, the government insisted that Germans be allowed the option of opting out to protect their privacy. Google created a webform to simplify the request and since April 2009 close to 250,000 German home-owners and tenants have registered, asking that their homes and properties be obscured. (Paul McCartney started all this a few years back.)
– BBC News

WHO ARE YOU, AGAIN?
A new study by researchers in Germany, Switzerland, and the USA has surprisingly found that couples who’ve been together for an average of 40 years know less about each other than those who have been together for just a year or two. It’s thought that’s because newlyweds have more to gain from really trying to get to know their partners, while those in a long-established marriage assume they already know everything. (“Wait, are you the guy who sleeps downstairs in the rec room?”)
– “Daily Telegraph”

WIDE WORLD OF BS:
• A 3-year-old in Baulkham Hills, Australia who likes flushing the toilet recently caused a stir by flushing down … her 2-day-old kitten. The local fire brigade was called and 8 firefighters managed to free the pet by snaking a tiny hi-tech camera down the drain and gently pushing the puss toward an access valve. Total rescue time: 5 hours. (During which 27 houses burned down.)
– Telegraph.co.uk
• Kosik, an elephant in South Korea’s Everland theme park, can vocalize 7 words in Korean, such as ‘hi’ and ‘good’, although researchers say he may not know what he’s saying. Elephants have shown in the past that they can mimic sounds, including trucks and other elephants. (We see potential for a new Vegas act here!)
– HuffingtonPost.com
• Not-so-hot hoofers are competing in the annual ‘Ugly Dance World Cup’ in Hamburg, Germany, in which contestants vie to be the least attractive, most uncoordinated dancer onstage. Whoever gets the most audience boos is declared the ‘winner’. (Now here’s a dance contest Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino might actually excel at!)
– NYPost.com

BS AMAZIN’ FACTS:
• Men get hiccups more often than women.
• Women laugh at men more than men laugh at women.
– GreatFacts.com

BS CHRONOMETER 10.26.10

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1946 [64] Pat Sajak, Chicago IL, TV game show host (“Wheel of Fortune” since 1981)

1947 [63] Hillary Rodham Clinton, Park Ridge IL, US Secretary of State since 2009, 2008 Presidential candidate/US Senator (2001-08)/former First Lady (1992-2000)/Mrs Bill Clinton since 1975

1954 [56] James Pickens Jr, Cleveland OH, TV actor (‘Chief-of-Staff Dr Richard Webber’ on “Grey’s Anatomy” since 2005)

1963 [47] Natalie Merchant, Jamestown NY, classic rock singer (“These are Days”, “Jealousy”)/former 10,000 Maniacs lead

1967 [43] Keith Urban, Whangarei, New Zealand, country singer (“Only You Can Love Me This Way”, “Better Life”)/wed to actress Nicole Kidman since 2006

1977 [33] Jon Heder, Fort Collins CO, movie actor (“Blades of Glory”, “Napoleon Dynamite”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Bring Your Jack-o-Lantern to Work Day”, a day to show the boss what a punkin’ head you really are!

• “International Red Cross Day”, in honor of its founding on this date in 1863 in Geneva, Switzerland.

• “Mincemeat Day”. Odds are you either love it or you can’t stand the stuff. Mincemeat is a mixture of chopped dried fruit, distilled spirits & spices, and sometimes beef suet. Originally, mincemeat always contained meat; many modern recipes use vegetable shortening in its place.

• “Worldwide Howl At the Moon Night”, an annual pre-Halloween tradition. Owoooooo!

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1970 [40] “Doonesbury” comic strip by Garry Trudeau debuts in 28 newspapers

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2002 [08] Pop singer Jessica Simpson weds boy-band singer Nick Lachey (leading to MTV show “Newlyweds” and more fame & money than either deserves)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1975 [35] ‘Heimlich Maneuver’ 1st approved as aid for people choking on food (named for its developer, Dr Henry Heimlich)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1990 [20] 1st NHLer to reach 2,000 career points (Wayne Gretzky, while playing for LA Kings)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Cranky Co-Workers Day
[Thurs] Plush Animal Lover’s Day
[Fri] Frankenstein Friday
[Fri] “Saw 3D” opens in movie theaters
[Sat] Create a Great Funeral Day
[Sat] Devil’s Night
[Sun] Halloween
This Week Is … International Magic Week
This Month Is … Adopt a Shelter Dog Month

BULL’S BITS

BS PUMPKIN CARVING TIPS:
Making a jack-o-lantern with the kids this week? A few helpful hints …
• Never carve a pumpkin on your beautifully refinished dining room table.
• Always draw the face on before cutting or you may find the eyes suddenly become a big nose.
• When gutting the pumpkin, always wiggle it around and scream, “OMG, kids … it’s still alive!”
• Kick the face in before putting it outside, ruining all the fun for the buttheads in the neighborhood.
• Never, ever say, “Hey … it looks just like Mommy in the morning!”
– Adapted from MikesTop5.com

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• Which of the following is NOT a real fright flick …
a. “Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster”
b. “Frankenhooker”
c. “Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter”
d. “Babe of Funkenstein”? [CORRECT. There’s no such movie … yet.]

• According to a recent survey, what’s the leading cause of in-car arguments?
a. Getting lost due to bad directions.
b. Backseat driving.
c. Interior temperature.
d. Choice of radio station or music. [Those are the top 4, in order.]

BS PHONE STARTER:
What everyday item is a real money-waster that you could do without? (An online poll at Walletpop.com is topped by: Bottled water; energy drinks; coffee from high-end chains; ‘premium’ gasoline; and brand-name products.)

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: 1-in-5 people say THIS has happened to them on Halloween.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Their jack-o-lantern got smashed.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Fasting has no real nutritional value.

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