Ah, the Sweet Smell of BS!
BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
We’re off re-charging our creative batteries next week so there will be no “BS” October 8-12 inclusive. Subscribers will be credited for missed issues.
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Tonight actress Nicole Kidman is celebrated with a gala tribute at the “New York Film Festival” (hype for her new movie “The Paperboy”) . . . “Homeland” (SHOW) producers have enlisted a body double to fill in during long shots of pregnant star Claire Danes (we’re guessing the craft service has stocked up on ice cream & pickles as well) . . . Actress/director Drew Barrymore has welcomed a new baby daughter she’s tagged ‘Olive Barrymore Kopelman’ (in honor of her acting idol, Olive Oyl) . . . As NBC-TV’s “Today” ratings continue to plunge, axed co-anchor Ann Curry is reportedly going to be featured again on a more routine basis (shouldn’t she tell them to take a hike?) . . . On-again couple Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart are set to make joint appearances on the upcoming “Breaking Dawn” promo tour (awkwardness alert!) . . . The Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences has announced “Family Guy” creator Seth MacFarlane is hosting the Oscars in February (do people even know who he is?) . . . UK’s “Daily Mail” reports “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX) host Cat Deeley has quietly wed Irish comedian Patrick Kielty in Rome on the weekend (TV’s best emcee?) . . . E! News has confirmed actress Carmen Electra and her fiancé, rocker Rob Patterson (Otep, Filter), have officially split (just in case you weren’t convinced by those flirty photos of her with Simon Cowell) . . . And recently-filed legal docs show that Philadelphia Eagles QB Michael Vick has blown through 95% of his total income, nearly $30 million, since filing for bankruptcy in 2008 but it wasn’t on fun stuff – accountants, back-taxes, creditors, child support, lawyers (fortunately he signed a 6 year, $100-million contract in 2011, so he’s won’t go broke again until 2017).
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Colbert Report” (Comedy Central/CTV) – Kenny Rogers (new memoir “Luck or Something Like It”).
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Tegan & Sara (“Heartthrob”, set for a January release).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – OneRepublic (“Feel Again”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Garbage (“Not Your Kind of People”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – fun. (“Some Nights”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Morrissey (“Very Best Of”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – LP (“Into the Wild”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Cher Lloyd (“Sticks & Stones”).
• “Love for Levon” – Tonight’s tribute concert at the Izod Center in East Rutherford NJ salutes late musician Levon Helm (The Band). Performers include Dierks Bentley, Eric Church, Grace Potter, Gregg Allman, Joe Walsh, John Mayer, My Morning Jacket, Roger Waters and others. Proceeds go to help his estate maintain ownership of his Woodstock NY home & studio, and to continue the ‘Midnight Ramble Sessions’ held there. Helm died in April at age 71.
NET: http://loveforlevon.com
• “Presidential Debate” (ABC/CBS/FOX/NBC/PBS) The candidates tackle issues at the University of Denver; Jim Lehrer moderates; analysis follows. (Your fave show is pre-empted.)
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Gloria Estefan (“Little Miss Havana”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – A Fine Frenzy (“One Cell In the Sea”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Jill Scott (“The Light Of the Sun”); Kenny Rogers (“Luck or Something Like It”).
• “The X Factor” (FOX/CTV) – Vocalists who made it through auditions head to Miami FL for boot camp.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Adele – A short excerpt of her “Skyfall” theme for the next ‘James Bond’ film ‘leaked’ online yesterday and the initial reaction on Twitter has been overwhelmingly positive. The song, recorded at Abbey Road Studios in London with a 77-piece orchestra, will get its first full play on Adele’s website at ‘0.07’ am GMT this Friday.
• The Beatles – Previously unseen footage of them filmed during the making of a documentary about their 1967 film “Magical Mystery Tour” has been cut into a new short and is now showing online.
NET: http://thespace.org
• Christina Aguilera – She’s denying reports that she told her recording label: “You are working with a fat girl. Know it now and get over it.” (Sounds too ‘Adele’ for her.)
• Jason Aldean – Brittany Kerr, the former “American Idol” contestant who was caught making out with the married country star, has now apologized, blaming it on a ‘lapse in judgment’.
• Kanye West – It looks like his GOOD Music crew may follow up the album “Cruel Summer” with another collaboration, possibly dubbed “Cruel Winter”.
• Lady Gaga – She sang with Tony Bennett on his “Duets II” album and now Bennett tells “Rolling Stone” they’re doing an entire album together with a big swing band. Quote: “A lot of people don’t know it, but she’s a phenomenal jazz singer.”
• Luke Bryan – Tonight he begins his 4th annual “Farm Tour” through several Southern states, performing 8 shows throughout October in rural areas that rarely see live entertainment. The opening concert is at Longneedle Farm in Claxton, Georgia.
• Neil Young & Crazy Horse – Tonight they embark on a 2-month North American tour in Windsor, Ontario. Their new double album, “Psychedelic Pill”, is out October 30th.
BS BUZZWORDS:
New terms leaking into our lingo …
✓ ‘Baby-lag’ – Akin to jet-lag, this is extreme fatigue and disorientation due to sleep deprivation associated with parenting a young baby. (You know you’re suffering from baby-lag if you put milk in the washing machine and socks in the fridge this morning.)
✓ ‘Orange-collar’ – Relating to workers who wear an orange safety vest while on-the-job. (Experts say blue-collar and orange-collar workers tend to be more safety-savvy than their white-collar colleagues.)
✓ ‘Racebending’ – The practice of hiring actors whose race is different from that of the characters they portray. (2013 movies that will feature racebending include Ben Kingsley as ‘The Mandarin’ in “Iron Man 3” and Johnny Depp as ‘Tonto’ in “The Lone Ranger”.)
LARYNX LIFTING:
Surgeons are reaping rewards from our aging population by offering treatments that restore a youthful tone to voices. With increasing numbers of seniors wishing to remain in the workplace, the operations reduce the reediness in the voice that comes with old age and can, surgeons claim, help boost patients’ confidence. There is expected to be heightened demand for these so-called ‘voice-lifts’ from executives and business people who are looking to work longer. It’s an effort to maintain an edge of aggression and authority in an ever more youth-oriented workplace. (Hurray, now you can stay on-air until you’re 89!)
– “Times of London”
TOP-EARNING FAMOUS FEMALES:
According to the latest “Forbes”, ranking based on total income over the past year …
5. (tie) Lady Gaga / Jennifer Lopez … $52 million.
4. (tie) Rihanna / Ellen DeGeneres … $53 million.
3. Taylor Swift … $57 million.
2. Britney Spears … $58 million.
1. Oprah Winfrey … $165 million.
– WENN.com
AN HONEST FACE HELPS:
When deciding who we can trust with our money, we rely more on looks than any other information, according to a new study. Researchers from Warwick Business School, the University College London, and Dartmouth College carried out a series of experiments to see if people made decisions to trust others based on their faces. They found that we are more likely to invest money with someone whose face is perceived as trustworthy, even when we are given negative info about that person. (For more info, google ‘televangelists’.)
– PsychCentral.com
FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 70% of us say we do not like politicians.
• 60% of women regularly apply nail polish.
• 34% of women say not shaving their legs every day is the best thing about being single.
• 33% of us say we act like an entirely different person on weekends.
• 28% of teenagers have never tried riding a bike.
• 27% of women say that ill-fitting underwear can ruin their entire day.
WALKING DEAD … PHONE:
Imagine being able to tell if a phone has been stolen by a change in the walking pattern of the person carrying it. An Android app developed at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh PA uses data from the accelerometer and gyroscope that come as standard technology on modern smartphones to record the movements that a phone makes as its owner walks. The app can identify a particular gait with over 95% accuracy. The technology could one day be used to shut a device down if it registers a gait that does not match that of its owner. (Bad news if you get all happy and decide to skip to work.)
– NewScientist.com
ROADSIDE ATTRACTIONS:
Service centers on Japanese expressways not only serve as gas stations and resting places for drivers, they are fast becoming hot-spot destinations in their own right. Travelers can shop, dine, and listen to live performances while taking a break from the road. They can even bring along their dogs to play in open spaces. Popular and exclusive services near highways even attract visitors who don’t drive, as bus tours have been organized for people without cars. (“Tonight at the World Famous A&A Service Center: Carrie Underwood, fun., U2, and the 2012 Dog Dancing Championship …”)
– “Yomiuri Shimbun”
POINTLESS ABILITIES PEOPLE BRAG ABOUT:
Why is it idiots always insist on boasting to us about …
✗ How Good They Are at Eating Spicy Foods – They may weep and sweat through the entire meal, but they somehow think swallowing molten lead makes them something special.
✗ How They Never Need a Jacket – The type of person who looks forward to Winter all year long because his entire sense of self is dependent on his tolerance for cold weather.
✗ How Well They Function on No Sleep – Sleep anorexics always tell you stuff like: “I’m running on 7 hours sleep for the entire week, it’s crazy.” Then they laugh at how amazing they are.
✗ How Outstanding They Are at Spotting Celebrities – It won’t take much to prod one of these lame brains to rattle off every star they’ve ever seen. Wow, Lisa Whelchel … no way!
✗ How Often They Need to Shave – The ability to grow another layer of Velcro immediately after each shave is awesome, but only for guys. Guys who are still preoccupied with puberty.
– Adapted from Cracked.com
BS AMAZING FACT:
The Nottingham Goose Fair starts today in England. It’s been held every year since 1284, except during the Great Plague in 1665 and the 2 World Wars. Some half-million goose lovers are expected during the 5-day fair.
– Halife.com
BS CHRONOMETER 10.03.12
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1962 [50] Tommy Lee (Bass), Athens, Greece, rock drummer (Motley Crue-“If I Die Tomorrow”)/ex-Mr Pam Anderson (1995-98)/ex-Mr Heather Locklear (1986-93)
1964 [48] Clive Owen, Coventry UK, movie actor (“Killer Elite”, “Closer”) UP NEXT: “Sin City: A Dame to Kill For” (2013).
1969 [43] Gwen Stefani, Anaheim CA, pop singer (No Doubt-“Settle Down”, “It’s My Life”)/fashion designer-marketer (LAMB)/movie actress (“The Aviator”, “Zoolander”)/Mrs Gavin Rossdale since 2002
1971 [41] Kevin Richardson, Lexington KY, boy-band pop singer (Backstreet Boys-“Incomplete”, “I Want It That Way”)
1973 [39] Neve Campbell, Guelph ON, movie actress (“Scream” movies, “Wild Things”)/TV actress (“Titanic: Blood & Steel”)
1976 [36] Seann William Scott, Cottage Grove MN, movie actor (“American Reunion”, “The Dukes of Hazzard”)
1979 [33] Josh Klinghoffer, LA CA, rock guitarist (Red Hot Chili Peppers-“The Adventures of Rain Dance Maggie”, “Dani California”)
1980 [32] Danny O’Donoghue, Dublin, Ireland, alt-rock singer-songwriter (The Script-“Hall of Fame”, “For the First Time”)
TODAY’S BS REASON TO PARTY . . .
• “Balloons Around the World Day”, when balloon artists worldwide deliver thousands of smiles by showcasing the art of balloon twisting, sculpting, and decorating. (Look, I made a rhinovirus!)
NET: http://www.balloonsaroundtheworld.com
• “German Unification Day”, celebrating the 1990 reuniting of East & West Germany to once again become a single country after 45 years. It was one of the benchmarks of the end of the ‘Cold War’.
• “International Walk to School Day”, a day to fight pollution and obesity and to establish safe neighborhood routes for walking and bicycling.
NET: http://www.walkbiketoschool.org
• “Look At the Leaves Day”, a day to admire the color changes of Autumn. (Now imagine the leaves a foot-and-half deep all over your backyard and a rake in your blistered hand …)
• “Techies Day”, the 13th annual observance to heighten the profile of IT careers and show appreciation for technology professionals. (Hurray, it’s “Geek Day”!)
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1992 [20] Sinead O’Connor tears up a picture of Pope John Paul II on “Saturday Night Live” (NBC), shocking the TV audience by saying ‘fight the real enemy’ (a career-ending moment)
2007 [05] The Rolling Stones’ “A Bigger Bang” tour sets a new record for concert grosses after the 2-year jaunt rakes in a total close to $560 million
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1997 [15] Japan’s Maglev bullet train breaks ‘World Train Speed Record’ at 280.3 mph (451 km/hr)
COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Blessing Of the Animals Day
[Thurs] World Pet Day
[Thurs] Improve Your Office Day
[Thurs] Cinnamon Roll Day
[Fri] “Frankenweenie”; “Taken 2” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Diversity Day
This Week Is … Carry a Tune Week
This Month Is … Physical Therapy Month
BULL’S BITS
MORE BS SIGNS YOU’RE HAVING A BAD DAY:
✗ Your blind date turns out to be your ex.
✗ Your boss tells you not to bother taking off your coat.
✗ The pest exterminator crawls under your house and never comes out.
✗ The plumber floats by on your kitchen table.
✗ Your new lover tells you last night was terrific and you were home by yourself.
✗ The Department of Biological Warfare has asked for your stew recipe.
✗ You see your financial adviser hitchhiking out of town.
BS RANDOM JOKE:
There’s only one way to have a happy marriage … and as soon as I learn what it is I’ll get married again.
BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What would be the absolute dream job?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: THIS happens about 200 times annually in the average household.
Answer: The dishwasher is run.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.