The Bull Sheet

October 29 2021

Friday, October 29, 2021 — Edition: #7096

The BS Press!

 

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Alec Baldwin is seemingly declaring his innocence in the accident that killed Halyna Hutchins, by pointing out he was told it was a “cold” gun, when it was actually loaded with a live round. Baldwin retweeted an article Wednesday night about the most recent search warrant filed in the death investigation. The New York Times story — headlined, “Gun Handed to Alec Baldwin Was Not Thoroughly Checked” — highlights several safety failures. In the affidavit filed Wednesday, Assistant Director Dave Halls admitted to police he had not thoroughly checked the weapon for live rounds before handing it to Baldwin. While he hasn’t said anything publicly since his first tweet the day after Hutchins was killed, Baldwin has retweeted multiple articles saying he was told the weapon was safe.
-TMZ
★ Joe Exotic, Carole Baskin, and Jeff Lowe are back for more in the new trailer for “Tiger King 2”. The next season of the show about the illicit world of big cat ownership arrives November 17th on Netflix. The series kicks off with Exotic behind bars after trying to hire 2 men to kill animal rights activist Baskin. As the true-crime documentary detailed in the first series, Exotic owned a zoo in Oklahoma with some nefarious practices. The series explores his years-long feud with Baskin, who owns Big Cat Rescue in Florida. LINK: https://youtu.be/pT4NYto3abM
-Yahoo
★ The 2021 E! People’s Choice Awards air on Dec. 7 and nominations for this year’s event were announced Wednesday — with 40 categories representing movies, television, music and pop culture. “F9: The Fast Saga” leads the movie categories with a whopping 8 nominations, including Movie of 2021 and individual nods for Vin Diesel, Charlize Theron and John Cena. “Black Widow” follows with 6 nods, for Movie of 2021, Action Movie of 2021, and individual nods for Scarlett Johansson and Florence Pugh.
-MSN
★ Pixar has released the first teaser for a new “Toy Story” spinoff “Lightyear”, and fans can hardly believe what they’re seeing. The clip introduces fans to the version of the story where ‘Buzz Lightyear’ really is the Space Ranger he always believed himself to be, not just an action figure. It stars Chris Evans though fans are at a loss as to whether this is the same version of Buzz played by Tim Allen in the Toy Story franchise. According to Disney, Lightyear “presents the definitive origin story of Buzz Lightyear – the hero who inspired the toy – introducing the legendary Space Ranger who would win generations of fans.” Lightyear premieres on June 22. LINK: https://youtu.be/BwPL0Md_QFQ
-PopCulture

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:

• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Idris Elba, Keri Russell, Sabrina Carpenter
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): My Morning Jacket
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Ron Howard, Clint Howard, Hillary Clinton, Louise Penny (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Suni Lee (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Ricki Lake, Kermit, Miss Piggy
• “The Talk” (CBS): Paula Abdul, Kevin Frazier, Matt Iseman
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Live’s Out of this World Halloween
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Demi Lovato, Kim Kardashian West, Shin Lim
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Meghan Trainor, McKenna Grace, Ernie Hudson, Jennifer Houghton
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Halloween Show
• “2021 World Series” (FOX, SN): Game 3. Houston Astros @ Atlanta Braves
• “Scooby-Doo, Where Are You Now!” (CW): The Scooby Gang ends up investigating a mystery when they gather to reminisce about their favorite cases; host Janel Parrish.

SATURDAY-
• “2021 World Series” (FOX, SN): Game 4. Houston Astros @ Atlanta Braves
• “Coyote Creek Christmas” (HALLMARK): An event planner discovers Christmas magic with a charming father-son duo while throwing a themed Christmas party at her family’s inn.
• “Torn From Her Arms” (LIFETIME): A mother and daughter who fled violence in El Salvador must find their way back to each other after being separated at the U.S. border and detained in different states.

SUNDAY-
• “Celebrity Wheel of Fortune” (ABC): Anthony Michael Hall plays for Save the Children, Mario Cantone plays for The Actors Fund, and Loni Love plays for Project Angel Food.
• “2021 World Series” (FOX, SN): Game 5. Houston Astros @ Atlanta Braves
• “Christmas Sail” (HALLMARK): When Liz returns home to take care of her estranged father, she is determined to give her daughter a perfect Christmas.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Katy Perry — has released a cover of The Beatles ‘All You Need Is Love’ to raise funds for Baby2Baby. She performs her take on the classic in Gap’s holiday campaign commercial. For every stream of the song on Spotify, $1 goes to the non-profit, providing essentials to LA children living in poverty.
• Lil Nas X – will release a version of ‘Montero’ featuring super-sanitized lyrics for the “Kidz Bop 2022” collection. The new rendition completely strips away his R-rated verses in favor of some shiny, happy lines about vacations and pleasant dinners.
• Olivia Rodrigo – During her appearance on “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” Tuesday, she told the host about her visit to the White House to encourage young people to get the COVID-19 vaccination. She also revealed the gifts she received from President Biden: A pair of aviator sunglasses, “some M&Ms and he also gave me a shoehorn, which was strange…it had the presidential emblem on it.”
• ABBA – have confirmed that their new album “Voyage” will be their last. They’ll release their first album in 40 years on Nov. 5, ahead of the ABBA Voyage digital concert shows in London, beginning May 2022. Although there are 2 songs that didn’t make the new album, they will remain unfinished.
• Genesis — have extended their “The Last Domino?” tour into 2022 with the announcement of shows in Germany, France and the Netherlands, which will precede 3 London concerts in March that were rescheduled when at least one member of the touring band tested positive for COVID-19.
• Nirvana — Dave Grohl says hasn’t “spent too much time thinking about” the child exploitation lawsuit filed by Spencer Elden, who was famously photographed as a baby for Nirvana’s iconic “Nevermind” album cover. Grohl also sheepishly pointed out: “He’s Got a Nevermind Tattoo. I Don’t.”
• Ozzy Osbourne – will release a 40th anniversary edition of his 1981 album “Diary Of A Madman” on Nov. 5. The digital release will include an unreleased live version of ‘Flying High Again’. He has also announced the Ozzy x Dogtown collection, a collaboration featuring skateboard decks and clothing.
• Country Music Association awards — Jason Aldean and Carrie Underwood (together), Luke Combs, Miranda Lambert, Old Dominion, Chris Stapleton, and Chris Young and Kane Brown (together) have all been announced as performers for the 55th annual CMA awards on Nov. 10. Previously announced performers include Blake Shelton, Eric Church, Dan + Shay and Mickey Guyton ft. Brittney Spencer.
• Carrie Underwood – Her 2005 debut album “Some Hearts” has been certified by the RIAA as 9X Platinum for sales in excess of 9 million units. She was fresh off her winning run on “American Idol” began recording the album, which became the best-selling album of 2006 in the U.S., powered by hits including ‘Jesus, Take the Wheel’ and ‘Before He Cheats’.
• Luke Combs – will be one of the headliners of the 2022 Cavendish Beach Music Festival July 7-9, with more artists to be announced in the coming weeks.  After a 2-year absence due to COVID-19, the festival on PEI’s North Shore has announced plans to return next summer.

SHOOTING THE BULL

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “Antlers” (R-Rated, Horror/Mystery): In an isolated Oregon town, a middle-school teacher and her sheriff brother become embroiled with her enigmatic student, whose dark secrets lead to terrifying encounters with a legendary ancestral creature who came before them. (Keri Russell, Jesse Plemons)
• “Last Night in Soho” (R-Rated, Drama/Mystery): An aspiring fashion designer is mysteriously able to enter the 1960s where she encounters a dazzling wannabe singer. But the glamour is not all it appears to be, and the past starts to splinter into something darker. (Thomasin McKenzie, Anya Taylor-Joy)
• “The French Dispatch” (R-Rated, Drama/Comedy): A love letter to journalists set in an outpost of an American newspaper in a fictional 20th-century French city that brings to life a collection of stories published in “The French Dispatch.” (Benicio Del Toro, Adrien Brody, Tilda Swinton)

CATS N’ DOGS:
⇒ Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is not something that only affects people — it may be a problem among our pets. A University of Helsinki team found that dogs can develop a behavioral condition that resembles ADHD in humans. They examined over 11,000 dogs, and found that puppies and male dogs are more prone to ADHD-like behavior. Their tests show that gender, age, and the dog’s breed can all play a role in whether they develop this condition. But an owner’s behavior can influence this as well. Dogs that don’t get enough attention, stay home alone much of the time, or don’t get enough exercise show more behavioral changes. (Cats can have ADHD too…trust me!)
⇒ This is National Cat Day in the US, and if you have one, you might think of yourself as its parent. But according to Dr. John Bradshaw, your feline friend likely thinks of you not as a parent, but as “a larger, non-hostile cat.” Bradshaw, a biologist at the England’s University of Bristol, has studied cat behavior for 30 years. He says that when your cat greets you with an upright tail, this is a friendly sign reserved for greeting a non-hostile cat. Bradshaw describes this as “probably the clearest way cats show their affection for us.” And when your kitty brings you a dead rodent or half-eaten insect, it’s not a gift or an attempt to feed you. Your cat simply wants a safe place to eat his kill. When he bites into his catch, he realizes the food you provide tastes better, so he leaves the remains of the prey behind. So, while you may think of yourself as your cat’s parent, he sees you more like a large, friendly feline who’s got good food. (Mine thinks of me more as a “commoner”…)
-StudyFinds, TreeHugger

NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ Why on earth would a lost hiker NOT answer his cell phone? Because he didn’t recognize the number that was calling, of course. Lake County (Colorado) Search and Rescue says it sent out a search team after receiving a report that a man hadn’t returned from a hike on Mount Elbert. Rescuers tried to call his cell phone multiple times, but weren’t able to reach him. The search was called off at 3 a.m., and LCSR says they were informed at about 9:30 a.m. that the hiker, who was not identified, had returned to where he was staying, and had no idea that rescuers were looking for them. The takeaway? LCSR wrote: “the subject ignored repeated phone calls from us because they didn’t recognize the number. If you’re overdue…please answer the phone; it may be a SAR team trying to confirm you’re safe!” (Yeah, but it also be your ex!)
➢ An Australian anti-vaxxer is selling a fake arm online for people wanting to get around the state’s COVID-19 vaccine mandate, which is mandatory for those holding many jobs. And since coming out of lockdown Oct. 22, unvaccinated people in Melbourne are also unable to enjoy some freedoms, like going to a restaurant. And that brings us to this: The man selling the prosthetic arm wrote in his ad, which first appeared on Facebook: “Prosthetic arm (left or right) Using this for covid vaccination. Best worn under a winter jacket to disguise your good arm. Available in various skin colours. Registered express delivery.” It wasn’t long before the trolls came out, with a doctor writing: “Pro-tip: If you go to get vaccinated and the person…cannot tell the difference between your arm and a prosthetic arm, leave and go get vaccinated by someone else.”
-CNN, LADBible

DID YOU KNOW?
It would take just 2% of Tesla CEO Elon Musk’s wealth to solve world hunger — about $2 billion. The director of the United Nations’ World Food Programme used that figure to illustrate how a small group of ultra-wealthy people could help end world hunger using just a fraction of their net worth. David Beasley said in an interview that billionaires need to “step up now, on a one-time basis”, citing specifically the world’s 2 richest men, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk. He said: “$6 billion to help 42 million people that are literally going to die if we don’t reach them. It’s not complicated.”
-CNN

BS CHRONOMETER 10.29.21 

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1947 [74] Richard Dreyfuss, Brooklyn NY, movie actor (“Jaws”, “Mr. Holland’s Opus”)

1957 [64] Dan Castellaneta, Chicago IL, TV voice-over actor (‘Homer’ on “The Simpsons” since 1989)

1961 [60] Randy Jackson, Gary IN, pop singer (Jackson 5-‘Shake Your Body [Down to the Ground]’) [***Not to be confused with the Randy Jackson of “American Idol” fame***]

1971 [50] Winona Ryder, Winona MN, movie actress (“Beetlejuice”, “Edward Scissorhands”)/TV actress “Stranger Things” since 2016

1972 [49] Tracee Ellis Ross, LA CA, TV actress (‘Dr Rainbow Johnson’ in “black-ish” since 2014)/daughter of singer Diana Ross

1972 [49] Gabrielle Union, Omaha NE, movie actress (“Bring It On”, “Bad Boys II”)

1987 [34] Tove Lo [Ebba Tove Elsa Nilsson], Helsingborg Sweden, pop singer-songwriter (‘Habits [Stay High])

SATURDAY- Henry Winkler (“Happy Days”) is 76; Harry Hamlin (“L.A. Law”) is 70; Gavin Rossdale (Bush) is 56; Matthew Morrison (“Glee”) is 43; Ivanka Trump (daughter of Donald Trump) is 40; Janel Parrish (“Pretty Little Liars”) is 33

SUNDAY- Larry Mullen Jr (U2) is 60; Filmmaker Peter Jackson (“Lord of the Rings”) is 60; Dermot Mulroney (“My Best Friend’s Wedding”) is 58; Rob Schneider (“Deuce Bigalow”) is 58; Adam Horovitz (Beastie Boys) is 55; Vanilla Ice (‘Ice, Ice Baby’) is 54; Piper Perabo (“Coyote Ugly”) is 45; Willow Smith (‘Whip My Hair’) is 21

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Hermit Day”, the perfect excuse to curl up with a good book and enjoy a day of peace and quiet.
• “National Cat Day” (US), a day for cat fanatics to dote over their felines (As if they don’t the rest of the year…), and to raise public awareness of cat adoption.
• “Oatmeal Day”, a food celebration honoring the hot breakfast cereal that ‘sticks to your ribs’, as grandma used to say.
• “World Psoriasis Day”, to increase awareness of the life-long skin disorder. It’s estimated 125 million people worldwide suffer from the malady. LINK: http://www.worldpsoriasisday.com
• World Stroke Day”, on this day, organizations around the world facilitate events emphasizing education, testing, and initiatives to improve the damaging effects of stroke. LINK: https://www.world-stroke.org/world-stroke-day-campaign
• “International Internet Day”, celebrated since 2005 to commemorate the momentous day in history, which to many, signifies the creation of the internet. On this date in 1969, the first successful electronic message was sent. The letters ‘L’ and ‘O’ were transferred from one computer to another before the connection crashed. (The dude was typing “LOL”????)

SATURDAY-
• “Candy Corn Day”, celebrating the traditional Halloween candy that resembles corn kernels and can’t be resisted until you’ve finished off the entire 2-lb bag. About 9 billion pieces are manufactured each year. (What?? It’s not grown on a stalk like regular corn?)
• “Checklist Day”, to appreciate the value of lists, and the peace of mind they give by helping you stay organized. Too lazy to make your own? Here’s a website that does it for you …
LINK: http://checklists.com  (We understand Santa Claus is a big proponent of making a list…and checking it twice!)
• “Create a Great Funeral Day”, whether you’re someone who likes to have things done your way, or if you simply don’t want to burden your loved ones with the task, pre-planning your funeral is a good idea. (Besides . . . it’s much more fun for you when you do it in advance. Yup, THAT’S it . . . put the ‘fun’ back in ‘funerals’!)
• “Devil’s Night” or “Mischief Night,” traditionally a night of pranks before Halloween.
• “Buy a Doughnut Day” … really, who buys just one? (The official dictionary spelling of the word is “doughnut.” The simplified, Americanized spelling of “donut,” has been around since the late 19th century. It didn’t catch on, though, until late in the 20th century)
• “Sugar Addiction Awareness Day”, something to keep in mind on what is also ‘Candy Corn’ and ‘Buy a Doughnut Day’! And by Halloween night, ‘Sugar Addiction Awareness Day’ will be nothing but a faint, sugar crashed, foggy-brained memory…

SUNDAY-
• “Halloween”, a modern-day North American celebration, which has extended to places such as Ecuador, Chile, Australia,New Zealand, most of Europe, Finland, Japan, and parts of East Asia. Some believe its origins come from a Celtic festival for the dead called “Samhain.” Celts believed the ghosts of the dead roamed Earth on this day, so people would dress in costumes and leave “treats” at their front doors to appease them.
• “Carve a Pumpkin Day”, your last chance to carve a pumpkin because Halloween is tonight. Pull out your patterns and get to work. (Or try carving a turnip…that’s what the Irish originally carved faces into…)
• “Caramel Apple Day”, saluting the tasty Fall treat made by dipping apples on a stick into hot caramel (or Kraft Caramels back in the day). Not many people hand them out to trick-or-treaters anymore, but you can enjoy one yourself!
• “International Magic Day,” traditionally a day for magicians to meet, celebrated on the anniversary of Harry Houdini’s death in 1926 (Spooky, huh?)
• “Girl Scout Founder’s Day”, Juliette Gordon Low, also known as Daisy, who was born on October 31, 1860, was the founder of Girl Scouts of the USA.
• “Knock-Knock Jokes Day”, celebrating their momentous contribution to the comedy world. (It’s celebrated today because kids everywhere will spend their evenings “knock-knocking”?)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2008 [13] “Quantum of Solace”, the 22nd James Bond film, starring Daniel Craig and Olga Kurylenko, premieres in London

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1983 [38] Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of The Moon” breaks the record for most weeks on the Billboard albums chart, eclipsing “Johnny’s Greatest Hits” by Johnny Mathis with 491 weeks. It finally drops off the chart in 1988, but occasionally returns, notching 958 weeks on the chart in total

1983 [38] ‘Islands in the Stream’, written by the Bee Gees and intended for Marvin Gaye, goes to #1 in the US as a duet by Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1945 [76] The first ballpoint pen goes on sale

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1998 [23] Space Shuttle Discovery blasts off with 77-year old John Glenn on board, making him the oldest person to go to space (record currently held by 90-year-old William Shatner, 2021)

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ It takes 700 peanuts to make a pound (.45kg) of peanut butter.
✓ Kite flying is a professional sport in Thailand.
✓ The top speed of a pigeon in flight is 90 mph (145 kph).
✓ Benjamin Franklin gave guitar lessons.
✓ Flies always launch backward for a quick getaway.
✓ Some farmers in the middle east breed bald chickens, because they do better in the heat.
-InterestingOnlineFacts, BathroomReadersInstitute

BS WHACK HALLOWEEN FACTS:
✓ Halloween is the second highest grossing commercial holiday after Christmas.
✓ The word “witch” comes from the Old English ‘wicce’, meaning “wise woman.”
✓ About 1 in 25 coffins from the 16th century has been found to have scratch marks on the inside.
✓ According to tradition, if a person wears their clothes inside out and then walks backwards on Halloween, he or she will see a witch at midnight.
✓ Because the movie ‘Halloween’ (1978) was on such a tight budget, they had to use the cheapest mask they could find for the ‘Michael Meyers’ character. That turned out to be a William Shatner ‘Star Trek’ mask.
✓ According to legend, you can also become a vampire by being born with red hair, or by being promiscuous.
-FactRetriever

Best of BS . . .
BS REASONS YOU WON’T BE WINNING THE HALLOWEEN COSTUME CONTEST:
• The ‘Bride of Frankenstein’ had big hair and a small butt, not the other way around.
• Your ‘Liposuction Byproduct’ costume could be mistaken for a ‘Bowl of Tapioca Pudding’ costume.
• Your prison uniform rips every time you bend over.
• Thanks to the sliding humps, no one knows whether you’re supposed to be a camel or Dolly Parton.
• Your ’80s Wardrobe’ costume involves the same clothes you wear any other day.
• You can’t get the zipper on your Leo DiCaprio costume to stay up.
• Even though your ‘Viagra Man’ outfit is clever, people just think you’re dressed as a lawyer.
• Nobody likes a farting clown.
-TopFive, first published in BS in 2011

BS SIGNS YOU’RE TOO OLD TO GO TRICK-OR-TREATING:
• You get winded from knocking on the door.
• When someone drops a candy in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
• You have to carefully choose a costume that won’t dislodge your hairpiece.
• You ask for high-fiber candy only.
• When the door opens you yell, “Trick or …” and can’t remember the rest.
• You’re the only ‘Batman’ in the neighborhood with a walker.
• You have to ask a kid to chew the candy for you.
• People say, “Great Keith Richards mask!”, but you’re not wearing a mask.
-First published in BS 2002

TODAY’S SCOOP OF BS:
➠ Tomorrow is Halloween! (On the fence about a costume? Stick your head up your butt and go as… (pick your own punchline…)
• Donald Trump
• Joe Biden
• Tucker Carlson
• Dave Chapelle
• Piers Morgan
• Morgan Wallen
• Rudy Giuliani
➠ Halloween is this weekend. Malia Obama plans to put on an extremely revealing outfit, go to a party, and get blackout drunk. (But. . . . no word on how she’s celebrating Halloween…)
➠ Ed Sheeran has tested positive for Covid-19. (In COVIDs defense, he did steal it from Adele…)
➠ Ivanka Trump is 40 tomorrow. (So, what do you get for the girl who has EVERYTHING — already handed to her?)
➠ Sunday is Halloween! (It’s that one day out of the year for women to put on their skankiest costumes. (Or, as the Kardashian-Jenner Clan call it . . . Sunday!)

BS WEB GOODIES:
Pretty scary – for him:  https://tinyurl.com/7vt4dyte
Just in time for Halloween … a soundboard of scary SFX:  https://tinyurl.com/3srrzbaw

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Halloween: If you don’t pay your exorcist, do you get “repossessed”?

BS PHONE STARTER:
What is the most scared you’ve ever been?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  According to a survey of kids, 50% prefer to receive chocolate for Halloween, 24% prefer non-chocolate candy — and 10% prefer THIS. What is it?
Answer:  Gum

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Halloween is not only about putting on a costume, it’s about finding the imagination and costume within ourselves.

 

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