Wednesday, October 16, 2019        Edition: #6552

Deja Moo!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Jennifer Aniston joined the world of Instagram by posting a pic of her “Friends.” After years of avoiding social media, she created her first account Tuesday morning on the social media platform, and her first post was a pic of herself hanging out with Lisa Kudrow, Courteney Cox, Matt LeBlanc, David Schwimmer and Matthew Perry. Aniston captioned her pic, “And now we’re Instagram FRIENDS too. HI INSTAGRAM.” And a few points of interest: She’s already at over 6 million followers, and she’s following her ex, Justin Theroux.
-TMZ
★ Reese Witherspoon has dismissed rumours that Steve Carell’s character in the new series “The Morning Show” is based on Matt Lauer. Witherspoon, who is producing the Apple TV+ series, insisted on the TV show “Extra” that the character is an “amalgam” of “lots of different” people. Quote: “As we chose to make a fictional show, it’s about a lot of characters…There is an abuse of power. I don’t think it’s one person.” Jennifer Aniston, who also stars in and produces the show, added that it was important to both the actresses to reference what’s happening in the world in terms of the #MeToo movement.
-Canoe
★ Taron Egerton has revealed that the script for a third “Kingsman” film is ready and will conclude the story of British spy ‘Eggsy’. The next movie in the spy franchise will be “The King’s Man”, which is a prequel set in the early 1900s starring Ralph Fiennes, Gemma Arterton and Rhys Ifans. The fictional story is focused around the real-life Duke of Lancaster’s Regiment, which for over 100 years, has included ‘Kingsman’ as a unique rank. The script is said to show the beginnings of the spy agency.
-ContactMusic
★ Sarah Silverman is filming a new pilot for HBO. The untitled late-night project will see Silverman “weighing in on the mishigas of the week and taking live video calls.” Judd Apatow and Amy Zvi will serve as executive producers on the pilot alongside Silverman. Silverman will also record a new stand-up comedy special for the premium cable network.
-TheWrap

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Jennifer Aniston, Dave Matthews, Blanco Brown
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Lupita Nyong’o, Dane Cook, Jay “Sinatraa” Won, Matthew “Super” DeLisi, the Avett Brothers (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Whoopi Goldberg, Ta-Nehisi Coates (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): John Goodman, Michael C. Hall, Midland, Yesod Williams (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Ed Helms, June Diane Raphael, 5 Seconds of Summer (R)
• “Lights Out with David Spade” (COMEDY): Thomas Lennon, Diplo, Whitney Cummings
• “Conan” (TBS): “Scraps” (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Ben Platt
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Alyssa Milano, guest co-host Chelsea Clinton
• “The Talk” (CBS): Camryn Manheim
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Mariska Hargitay, Victoria Beckham, Catherine Fisher
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Jessica Biel, Melissa McCarthy, Joel Kinnaman
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Kaley Cuoco, YBN Cordae
• “The Masked Singer” (FOX): Six celebrities take the stage for their second performance.
• “2019 CMT Artists of the Year” (CMT): The 10th annual special honors Carrie Underwood, Dan + Shay, Kane Brown, Luke Combs and Thomas Rhett, along with Breakout Artist of the Year Ashley McBryde; Reba McEntire receives the Artist of a Lifetime award.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Katy Perry – Haas announced that her next single, ‘Harleys In Hawaii’ will drop today. No word yet on when she’ll release her 5th studio album.
• Taylor Swift – The banner awarded to her for the most sold out performances at the Los Angeles Staples Center will be covered during Los Angeles Kings games there. Some objected to it because it went against the other sporting accolades honored there, and some speculated it may have created a “curse,” since the banner was raised a year after the Kings’ last Stanley Cup win in 2014, and the team finished with the second worst record in the NHL last season.
• Billie Eilish – had a ring stolen right off her finger during her performance at the Austin City Limits Festival. During her gig, Eilish walked through the audience and shook hands with fans. After returning to the stage, she said: “Somebody stole my (expletive) ring! I guess that’s my fault. Keep that (expletive). Take care of that (expletive).”
• Kanye West — After missing the promised Sept. 27 release date of his latest album “Jesus Is King”, he has announced that it will drop on Oct. 25. That coincides with the release of West’s IMAX film, also titled “Jesus Is King”, which will bring his famous Sunday Service to theatergoers. West told an audience that the album was delayed because he was “making it better for y’all.”
• Queen — After President Donald Trump posted a campaign video on Twitter that played the entirety of ‘We Will Rock You’, the group issued a takedown notice, and Twitter complied. That follows a similar situation earlier in the month when Nickelback demanded a video that included an edited clip from its ‘Photograph’ video be taken down.
• Foo Fighters — have dropped another surprise EP from their ‘Foo Files’ archival series. “01020225” features four tracks, including covers of the Psychedelic Furs’ ‘Sister Europe’ and the B-52s’ ‘Planet Claire’, plus the Foo’s own ‘The One’ and ‘Win or Lose’.
• Miranda Lambert – Instagrammed a sweet birthday tribute to her husband Brendan McLoughlin. Under a photo of the smiling couple, she wrote: “Happy Birthday to the man that puts stars in my eyes.” She included a suitable number of lovey-dovey emojis and the hashtag #foreverandeveramen.
• Kane Brown — turned to Instagram to remember his drummer, Kenny Dixon, who died in a car accident on Saturday. Brown posted a picture of himself facing the drummer onstage, smiling and grooving along to his playing. Brown wrote, in part, “I know u will be watching over us with that redneck accent that we all love and you will never be replaced bro!!! I promise u that!” Dixon was 27.

NOT YOUR GOURDEN VARIETY:
Apparently, when it comes to fall decorations, the rule of thumb is “the uglier, the better”. Warty pumpkins, ugly gourds and carbuncle-covered squash are all the rage this year when it comes to putting together a display for Halloween. It seems the usual perfectly round, sunset-colored traditional harvest items just no longer cut it. Because people are always on the lookout for something different to add to their front yard freak-show, (not to mention to post on Insta), breeders are trying to create new, wild varieties, some of which are covered in green bumps or brown lumps. At Stanton’s Farm in Albany, NY, they have 21 varieties of bizarre fall fruit, including a basketball-sized gourd called “red warty thing”, and what they are calling the ugliest gourd you’ve ever seen in your life, the politically-incorrectly-named “Lunch Lady.”
(The good thing is that they haven’t been able to come up with a way to make it grow a few stray strands of hair around the warts…yet!)
(Gourd-geous!)
(Usually my pumpkins aren’t ugly until I’ve tried to carve them!)
-NYPost

THEY RUNNETH THEIR CUPS OVER:
One of the most frustrating parts of the morning routine for many is the 5 or 10-minute wait in line at the coffee shop. That and the fact that your cup might end up in the garbage is exactly what the New York startup “Goffee” aims to help you avoid. The fast-growing service delivers coffee in ceramic mugs to workers’ desks every morning — and picks them up for washing so they can be used again the next day. Goffee is currently delivering 1,000 cups per day to offices throughout Midtown. The company’s owner says that will quadruple by the end of the year, fueled by aggravation over lengthy morning lines at coffee shops, which have only gotten worse with mobile apps which allow people to order ahead and jump the queue. Workers can choose from 25 different coffee brands, plus lattes, cappuccinos, cold brew, tea, hot chocolate and even matcha. The bill for a 30-person office works out to about $900 per month, which usually works out to $1.50-2.00 per cup.
(Or, you know, get a coffee machine at work!)
(Ummm…but what if I drink TWO cups every morning? Do they come back with refills?)
(But then I wouldn’t be able to use my “Don’t Talk to Me Until This Mug is Empty” mug!)
-NYPost

ENDING YOUR EMAIL:
Here are some tips for ending your office email on a professional note…
➢ Definitely include a closing:  Ending an email without a signoff is like walking away at the end of a conversation without saying goodbye. It doesn’t leave a good impression.
➢ Don’t get too casual:  Signoffs such as “see ya later,” “love” or “XOXO” are all too unprofessional for business purposes. Also to be avoided are acronyms such as TTYL (“talk to you later”) or TAFN (“that’s all for now”), which are confusing. (I never seem to get a very positive response from “WTF” either…)
➢ Save the formalities – most of the time:  “Yours/yours truly” and “sincerely” just sound dated, although that last one might be appropriate for a cover letter or when sending a formal letter to a superior. “Respectfully” might be acceptable in a formal email as well. (Just don’t follow it with “Bro”…)
➢ Only say “Cheers” if you can pull it off:  That one puzzles people. Is that something that you would say in person? If not, don’t use it. (If I was holding a beer, yes, I would say “Cheers”!)
➢ Avoid these too:  “Take care” can be anxiety-producing. “Best” is bland, and was found to induce the lowest response rate among common sign-offs.
➢ BE “Thank”ful:  Emails ending with a variation of “thank you” get significantly more responses than those with other popular signoffs. “Thanks in advance” had the highest response rate (65.7 per cent), followed by a simple “thanks” (63 per cent) and “thank you” (57.9 per cent). And attaching an exclamation point to the end can make it seem more sincere, as can adding “so much.”
(I’ve always been fond of our boss’s sign off: “I’m not going to tell you again.”)
-CPACanada

DID YOU KNOW?
A long-lost chapter of what is believed to be the world’s first novel has been found in Japan. Hiding alongside other heirlooms of a family with feudal lineage, the blue-bound text is a chapter of the 11th Century Japanese classic “Genji Monogatari” or “The Tale of Genji.” Written by Japanese noblewoman Murasaki Shikibu, the novel depicts the romantic epic of Prince Genji and his love interest Murasaki-no-ue. The original 54-chapter text no longer exists. In addition to the most recently discovered chapter, four other confirmed chapters are registered as national cultural properties.
-CNN

BS CHRONOMETER 10.16.19

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1925 [94] Angela Lansbury, London England, TV actress (“Murder, She Wrote” 1984-1996)

1946 [73] Suzanne Somers, San Bruno CA, TV actress (‘Chrissy Snow’ on “Three’s Company” 1977-81)

1958 [61] Tim Robbins, West Covina CA, movie actor (“The Shawshank Redemption”)/movie director (“Dead Man Walking”) COMING UP…”Dark Waters”, 2019

1962 [57] Flea (Michael Balzary), Melbourne, Australia, rock bassist (Red Hot Chili Peppers-‘Scar Tissue’, ‘Under the Bridge’)

1977 [42] John Mayer, Bridgeport CT, pop singer-songwriter (‘Your Body is a Wonderland’, ‘No Such Thing’)

1980 [39] Caterina Scorsone, Toronto ON, TV actress (‘Dr Amelia Shepherd’ on “Grey’s Anatomy” since 2010)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Boss’s Day”, an observance since 1958 in which employees are encouraged to “honor the boss with a small gift or greeting card” (aka ‘Brown Nosers Day’).
BS THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY TO YOUR BOSS:
– “Maybe you’ll have the proposal on your desk by Monday, then again, maybe you won’t.”
– “As soon as I have two nickels to rub together, I’m leaving this rat hole.”
– “I’m getting married and you ain’t invited, Slappy.”
– “I saw your wife at the last Christmas party. If you weren’t rich, there’s no way in hell you’d be able to attract a hottie like that.”
– “If I didn’t work for you, I’d kick your sorry ass up and down this office.”
– “Is that a rug?”

• “Take Your Parents to Lunch Day”, an occasion when parents are to visit their children’s school and have a meal with them in the cafeteria. The goal is to learn more about what goes into putting together a healthy lunch. (If your school days are behind you, we’re sure Mom and Dad won’t mind being taken to a restaurant…)

• “Dictionary Day”, celebrating the 1759 birth of Noah Webster, one of the most famous of lexicographers, who first published “Webster’s Dictionary” in 1828.

• “Feral Cat Day”, initiated in 2001 by the advocacy group ‘Alley Cat Allies’ to promote humane care for domestic cats who are scrabbling to stay alive in the wild.

• “World Food Day”, as declared annually by the UN.

• “National Liqueur Day”, A liqueur is a strong alcoholic beverage that has been sweetened with herbs, fruits, nuts, cream, or spices. Liqueurs are traditionally served as after-dinner drinks or mixed with coffee. They can also be called cordials or schnapps.  (You were looking for something to get for “Boss’s Day?)

• “Steve Jobs Day”, celebrating the renowned businessman and visionary. He headed and dramatically changed numerous industries, and lead organizations such as Apple, Pixar and NeXT. Jobs died on October 5, 2011, and the 15^th was established as Steve Jobs Day by the Governor of California.

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Conflict Resolution Day
[Thurs] Get to Know Your Customers Day
[Fri] Chocolate Cupcake Day
[Fri] National No Beard Day

TODAY IN MUSIC . . .
2012 [07] Darius Rucker is inducted into the Grand Ole Opry. He’s just the third African American to join the club, following cast member DeFord Bailey and Charley Pride, who was inducted in 1993.

2017 [02] Ed Sheeran breaks his wrist and elbow in a biking accident, forcing him to cancel dates on his tour of Asia. He calls his time off “the most depressing six weeks of my life.”

TODAY IN SPORTS . . .
2011 [08] 33-year-old Dan Wheldon, a 2-time Indianapolis 500 winner, dies following a fiery, 15-car crash during the IndyCar World Championship at the Las Vegas Motor Speedway

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2011 [08] US president Obama joins members of the King family to dedicate the memorial for Dr Martin Luther King Jr. on The Mall in Washington DC

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2010 [09] Shanghai, China’s Expo 2010 attracts over 64 million people, a record-breaking number of visitors in the history of world’s fairs

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ Nearly 20 tons of waste are generated to produce a single gold wedding ring.
✓ About 1 in 2,000 babies are born with a tooth.
✓ The average novel sells only 2,000 copies.
✓ The first commercial dental floss (in 1882) was made of silk.
✓ Legendary pool shark Minnesota Fats was from New York.
✓ Other names considered for ‘Pampers’ diapers included ‘Tads’, ‘Winks’ and ‘Dri-Wees’.
-BathroomReadersInstitute

Best of BS:
LESS POPULAR INSPIRATIONAL MESSAGES:
• “There is no ‘I’ in teamwork … but there is in management kiss-up.”
• “If you do a good job and work hard, you may someday get a gig with a better company.”
• “Doing it right the first time gets the job done; doing it wrong 14 times gives you job security.”
• “If you think we’re a bad company, you should see the competition.”
• “12 days without a human rights violation!”
• “Plagiarism saves time.”
• “If at first you don’t succeed, try management.”
• “Teamwork means never having to take all the blame yourself.”
• “The beatings will continue until morale improves.”
• “We put the ‘K’ in quality.”

BS STUPID QUESTIONS AT A JOB INTERVIEW:
• Am I getting paid for this?
• Should I put my ankle monitor on silent?
• Who is the hottie in the picture?
• Drug test?  What drugs will I be testing?
• Where am I?
• Do you believe in love at first sight?
• It’s been almost 15 minutes…How many more questions can you possibly ask?
• Can I have a raise?
• Will chronic flatulence be an issue?
• Can I have a ride home?
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018

BS PHONE STARTER:
What is the oddest thing that has made you cry?

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• The Nintendo GameCube was replaced by which video game console in 2006?
a. Nintendo Wii [CORRECT]
b. Xbox One
c. PlayStation 3
d. Intellivision

• What does the online acronym SMH stand for?
a. Select my hat
b. Shaking my head [CORRECT]
c. Sydney Morning Herald
d. Stole my hasenpfeffer
–TriviaFYI

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I like to refer to my fashion style as “clothes that still fit”.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  8% of men don’t know THIS about their partner. What is it? (CLUE: It has nothing to do with an ex)
Answer:  What they are allergic to

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you.